What's the worst you've done to an idiot customer?

[lone wolf]

I'm guessing a pump? The tree was hollow, I did a bore cut for a crane pick and bored right into a brick sized piece of what seems like mortar mix, wrecked that chain, customer acted dumbfounded by it, the extra dumbfounded when I explained my chainsaws cannot cut anything other than wood!

I had it happen once !

 

[ZinTrees]

this is the first piece I hit, cut it perfectly in half with a nice sharp chain on the 500I like 3 cuts in once we got into the bigger wood, honestly thought it was wood but its clearly not since it wrecked my chain, guys on the ground all commented on how it didn't sound right while I was cutting, and its super freakin heavy, almost like a chunk of steel but no way I could have cut it if it was steel, im thinking mortar or grout mix?

yes thats an 881 in the background, yes we were climbing with it, yes it hit a LOT of concrete, and yes, I sent the 500 up and was filing chains as fast as I could so they would atleast try to cut, we went through about 10 chains before calling it quits and handing the guy the bill

 

[TNTreeHugger]

this is the first piece I hit, cut it perfectly in half with a nice sharp chain on the 500I like 3 cuts in once we got into the bigger wood, honestly thought it was wood but its clearly not since it wrecked my chain, guys on the ground all commented on how it didn't sound right while I was cutting, and its super freakin heavy, almost like a chunk of steel but no way I could have cut it if it was steel, im thinking mortar or grout mix?

yes thats an 881 in the background, yes we were climbing with it, yes it hit a LOT of concrete, and yes, I sent the 500 up and was filing chains as fast as I could so they would atleast try to cut, we went through about 10 chains before calling it quits and handing the guy the bill
View attachment 1174797

How old do you figure the tree was?
If I'm not mistaken about what I've read, it used to be common practice for arborists to recommend filling tree cavities with cement. Not so much any more though.

 

[TNTreeHugger]

I googled cement filled trees and this thread came up:
https://www.arboristsite.com/threads/cement-filled-tree.36566/

 

[ZinTrees]

How old do you figure the tree was?
If I'm not mistaken about what I've read, it used to be common practice for arborists to recommend filling tree cavities with cement. Not so much any more though.

>150 years, maybe around 175

 

[GL0B0TREE]

Well.. I guess that I should start with my own story.

"Back in the day", which wasn't really that long ago, We were cutting down Ash trees in the GTA ( Toronto), that had been infected by the Asian Ash Beetle. Once we had a job set up, and the crew was working, I'd take my partner and walk the neighbourhood looking for work. We came across a 3 acre property that had at least 20 plus Ash trees on it, so we went up and banged on the door. Out comes this old guy.. older than Christ's diapers, and we proceed to dance.
It started out O.K... We realized that we'd have to explain stuff to him, and give him price and service options. It went well at first, then he proceeded to keep moving the goal posts. Every time he moved the "goal posts", we had to re-calculate the quote.
First it was a complete job.. Drop the trees, not damage the lawn, remove all brush, split the wood and pile it .. grind the stumps and sod. Then it was drop the trees, damage the lawn, remove all brush, and leave the stumps at 6 inches.. Etc.. etc.. etc.. We'd been there over an hour, and I'd had enough of his crap. I'm giving my partner the hand signs to just let it go, leave him a card and to call when he was serious about dealing with the issue. Randy wasn't having it.. He was determined to land the fish. And truthfully, what we were quoting him wasn't putting huge payday on our plate. We realized that, for a homeowner to suddenly have an unexpected bill for tree removal, for 20K to 30 K, was a bit of a kick, and it wasn't covered by insurance.
Usually, I've got a ton of patience, but, when I get to the end of my rope, yeah.. I can be a ****. The straw that broke the camels back, was when he looked at me and asked me "How long does it take to drop a tree?".. I couldn't believe it! I asked him what he would do with the trees once I dropped them. His answer was " Well, I've got a chainsaw, I'll just deal with it myself."..
Seriously, the guy was probably in his mid 70s'.. He had the look and build to him like he'd never dealt with anything heavier than a calculator. I asked him what kind of chainsaw.. Maybe I mis-judged him.. " Oh, it's a corded electric"
I'm giving Randy the hand signals to " let's get out of here." Nope.. Randy still wants to dance with this idiot.. Darn..
The tipping point was when he said.. " Show me how long it takes you to drop a tree. Maybe I'd be better off just to pay you by the hour to drop them." I bit my tongue, and pretended to walk around a bit, looking at the 20 plus trees, as if I was trying to make up a new quote for him. Inside, I was seething. I was , at this point, planning revenge.
There was one Ash tree near his driveway. A good 70 to 80 ft tall. He had a circular driveway in front of his house, and there was a decent gap between the house and the garage. His Mercedes was more towards the house, in the circular section of the driveway . I smiled and looked at him, and said " You know, that's fair.. I've never been paid just to drop them and go away.".
I walked over to the truck, and got out the Echo 590.. The look on Randy's eyes was priceless. I sparked it up, and lined up the big Ash.. Yup.. Drop it right, and it would miss the house, miss the garage, and seal his Mercedes in the driveway.
I could see Randy giving me the "no" sign, but at that point, I just didn't care.. at all.. Tossed the face cut in, popped out the chunk, and then flipped over to the felling cut. I got far enough into it, that I knew it was ready to go. As soon as I heard the first "snap , crackle , pop." I pulled the saw out of the cut. The old dude just kinda looked at me like " Well .. now what..?. I waved Randy over towards me, so that he'd be on my side of the tree, when it went down... leaving the homeowner on the house side of the tree.
I yelled at the homeowner.. " Ya might not wanna stand there!" You could hear the trunk starting to go. Not 30 seconds later, down she comes.. One of my better aims.. didn't hit the house.. didn't hit the garage.. didn't hit the Mercedes..
But.. here we were.. Me and Randy, standing on one side of this exploded Ash tree, and his sorry butt on the other.. His Mercedes wasn't leaving the driveway until that tree got removed. Sweet!!
Back to the truck, with the 590 in my hand, and Randy in hot pursuit.. We left like our butts were on fire. Homeowner was still in the driveway, with an open mouthed gape.. LMFAO
The old dude was still standing there in disbelief, as we bailed for the road.. Randy was like " He's gonna call the cops, we're gonna get sued!!." Nope".. I said.. He asked us to drop a tree, to "see how long it took." We didn't damage anything, we did as he requested for free, as in he wanted to see how long it took to drop a tree.
We never heard another word about it.. But, about three weeks later, we had the occasion to pass by that property on the way to another job.. There was some old Chinese guy up on a ladder, wearing flip flops, what looked like his wife and two kids on the ground who looked like they were maybe 12 to 14 years old, cleaning up what Dad had cut.. Gotta wonder what they quoted him.
But.. never heard another word about dropping a biggie across his driveway..

So.. What's the worst you've ever done to an idiot client??

Well what an interesting thread, I remember "back in the day" I remember lots that needed to be cleared I remember lots that didnt get cleared, not by me anyway. The old guys with fish hooks in their pockets, yea the farmers chewing on a blade of grass, liftin their hats and spitting out what seems like chewing tobacco slime...lol. Cheap as a pair of white cotton work gloves. Idiots never do well when dealing with Tree guys, seems we posess an immunity to stupidity, we have something the regular joe just dont have, balls. So a similar situation occured where the client wished to deal with the mess, he was adament that my "Big Blade" do the slicin'up of the logs, I was reluctant. See here we had a guy who had never heard of a throw ball, to be honest I don't even know if he even seen my throw ball. So hees a breakdown I basically ended up being paid 2800. to set two ropes for falling, then falling and slicin up the trunk wood, 4 hours in and out. But he figured the disgustingly full of deadwood tree, in order to be felled, required a Pull rope, we couldnt fall it freely due to "safety", so some poor bastard (me) would have to go up into the dirty tree and try and position a rope so as to serve us in the procedure. Now the house was right there and I didnt have any room for error, but he was so rude and not to mention a major pain in the ass, like I want you here today or I will call someone else kinda guy, rude about everything, so when he was diddling himself or whatever he was doing while I set that rope (first shot btw) about 15 minutes later had the rope anchored to my come along I then cut the pie and backcut her then flopped her over total 30minutes first one on the ground, same for the other one total 1 hour, meanwhile idiot diddler still in the closet i guess and Both monster dead Ash on the ground, I started slicin' fully sharp saw and an hour later I started on the other one, changed the chain five or six cuts in, hour or so later, done. So he comes out just b4 noon and just about **** a brick, it felt like lunchtime my gut was gumbling as usual and I was packin my gear and counting 50's .
yes he was humbled finally~the worst thing I did was i just failed to mention that I hadnt planned on climbing at all or that i was a really good shot, so i didnt reveal my secret powers (throwball action)and I may have even left out that my climbing gear may not even be needed, he agreed to 1400 per tree, but he really expected me to piece it all down, so the idiots need to pay extra for trying to pass their idiocy to a perfectly normal Man with plenty of expert Tree removal experience. People who especially feel empowered when they have made every effort to get the better of you, or undercut you or insult you, because they lack the nerve i believe that it is called Karma~remember tree guys can issue karma like circumstances if they wish~ so remember that very important fact and never say too much never ever allow some selfish, lazy clown to dictate to you how he would like to see the job done, thats not the way it worx, when in doubt we can choose the safest quickest method(to optimize profit), not always or we will work ourselves out of a job, but when required~issue karma.