Sorry for the triple post, but something i wrote here a while ago.
I'm not one to crap on getting an education. But i think the "arborist" colleges these days are doing a very poor job of preparing a graduate for the nitty-gritty of tree work. If you are planning on going on and becoming a professor, then fine. If you are planning to graduate and then take over a tree crew, that probably isn't going to happen for you, simply because you haven't been taught the skills. Sure it's nice to know the scientific names of tree or tree diseases, but i wish these colleges spent a little more time on knots, chippers, basic maintenance, saw usage, filing, raking, or one of the other hundreds of things needed to know to run a productive crew.
A story, may be a little long, may be a little exaggerated, but over 20 college climbers have been run through my crew over the years and all these things have happened.
Here's how your first day is going to go:
You get up at 4 am. The girlfriend (or boyfriend) #####es that you shouldn't have to get up this early since you have a college degree, then rolls over and goes back to sleep.
You arrive at the shop by 5 am. You were told yesterday when you were hired that you were going to be running your own crew, but you are going to spend your first week on another climber's crew just so he can evaluate you and you can get a feel for things. You meet the climber and when he asks if you have your gear, you start bragging about your $500 worth of gear (not knowing he has over $10k invested in the tools of his trade.) He doesn't look too impressed and cuts you off telling you to load your stuff in the truck.
Halfway to the first job, the climber pulls over and tells you to hop into the other truck because he is tired of hearing about the stupid stuff you did in college that you think was cool.
You arrive at the job by 6 am but are already feeling a little down because the groundies have told you repeatedly to shut the #### up, they are tired of listening to your crap. You do perk up a bit as you head to the back yard with the climber to check out the job. It's just an old oak that needs to be deadwooded. When the climber asks if you can handle it, you gush that it will not be a problem because one of your professors once talked about trimming a tree that was twice the size of this one. The climber just rolls his eyes and tells you to gear up. As you are pulling on your saddle, you notice the groundies pulling out a couple other ropes. You ask what those ropes are for and the climber looks a little pained. He tells you to pull a saw out of the saw box and he does seem to perk up a bit when you tell him you brought your own saw. His face falls as you pull out a handsaw.
The crew adjourns to the backyard while you spend the next fifteen minutes fiddling with your gear. As you enter the yard, you notice that it looks like the climber has started chain smoking. You set your line on the third try and quickly get up the tree. You are pleased with yourself and notice the climber is even smiling a bit now.
You get positioned to make your first cut. The climber asks if you want to rope it since there is a garage partially underneath the tree. You reply that a rope isn't needed, you'll just cut everything small enough to be handled, just like they taught you in college. The climber has stopped smiling.
A couple hours go by. You feel you are making good progress. The groundies have had to run for cigarettes twice now for the climber. You're feeling thirsty, so start to come down for a water break. The climber asks what's up and when you reply, he says to stay put, water will be sent up. You are kind of irked-you really need a break since you have never spent more than two hours in a saddle before, but you decide to just suck it up.
You keep working. Noon rolls around. The 300 pound owner shows up and starts yelling, wanting to know why you are still on a job that should have been done hours ago. The climber steps in on your behalf, calms the owner down and sends him on his way-maybe the climber is not such a jerk after all. You are feeling hungry so ask when lunch is. The climber replies you'll get a lunch when you've done a half a day's work. Ah, there's the guy you've come to dislike. You keep working but soon the groundies are complaining because you are cutting everything to the size of a pencil. You think they must be crazy-those uneducated apes don't know what they are talking about. You lay your handsaw on a piece of dead oak thicker than your thigh and the climber suddenly loses it. He tells you to get out of the tree, he'll finish the job. You think to yourself that you can finally take a break. But that dream is soon dashed when the climber tells you to start dragging brush. You angrily go to work, thinking to yourself that you were hired to climb. You are at first a little afraid of the chipper, but soon get into the swing of things, until you plug the chipper completely up. The groundies growl at you as they work to unplug it. Quicker than you would have believed possible, the climber is back on the ground and the tree is done. As the last of the wood gets chipped, he hands you a rake. You look at him dumbly wondering what you need to rake. You then get a very loud lesson on how to clean up yards. You think you hear him mutter a few words about the rake handle and your rectum, but you can't be sure.
You and the crew arrive at the next job. It's a medium sized box elder in the back yard that the owner wants taken down. As you and the climber are checking out the job, you realize that this may be a good time to impress him. You start rattling off the latin names and characteristics of the maple family. You see he isn't impressed, so you decide to pull out the big guns and start in on a lecture about the evils of removals that was very popular in college. He tells you the tree is just a weed and walks away from you while you are still talking. You are a little hurt, but soon see another target you can try the lecture on-the homeowner. You go running over and state your piece, proud that you've done your part to save this noble tree. You smile as you see the homeowner go over to talk with the climber but are surprised when the homeowner tells the climber that he still wants the tree down and if you guys don't want to do it, he'll find a different company. You think it was a little cruel when the climber tells the guy that you are an idiot and to just ignore you.
You do perk up though when the climber tells you to grab some spikes and go ahead and do the half of the tree that isn't over the fence. Maybe he thinks you aren't a total waste! You get the gear on in twenty minutes, record time for you. You see huge pieces of the tree are already on the ground so you hurry into the yard. The climber takes one look at you from up the tree and tells you to take your gear off and help the groundies. You are crushed, what did you do wrong? One of the groundies snidely ask if you were planning on climbing a hollow tree. That's when you realize your spikes are on the outside of your feet. You cover up you embarrassment by telling the groundie that since the proper way to climb trees was without spikes, this was only the third time you've worn them. The groundie may have muttered something about having to put up with another one who uses antigravity to chunk down stems.
After hanging the gear in the truck, you reenter the yard. The climber asks if you can run a rope. You have to honestly tell him no, so he tells you to start dragging brush. After your thirtieth trip to the curb, you begin to wish that someone had taught you to run a rope-it looks so much easier than dragging brush. Your daydream is rudely interrupted by the climber yelling at you to stop being a wuss and haul more than one piece of brush at a time. A dozen trips later and you are in the yard when a piece is roped almost right at your feet. You jump in to untie the know, but are having problems. The branch has rolled over and the bowline is not loosening up. After struggling for a few seconds, one of the groundies nudges you aside and with a quick wrist flip the knot is undone. Another thing you wished you had been taught.
The job goes smoothly, you have learned the tricks of the chipper and brush dragging from the last job. Plus you feel a burst of energy because it is almost 5 pm and you know the day is almost over. As you are putting the last of the ropes away, you excitedly mention to the climber that it's time to go home. He just looks at you and laughs.
(continued)