Hey Northman,
I'm in NJ, too, in Hunterdon County. I installed a cast iron Jotul F3 in my 1400 sf ranch last November and am very happy with it. I second the advice you received above-- make a drawing (doesn't have to be pretty, just get the measurements close) and take it to a stove dealer near you. The structure of your house, access to exterior walls, etc., will affect your options to some degree.
I went to SOS Stove and Fireplace in Warren County and was very happy with them. I compared Lopi, Jotul, and Morso wood stoves and also looked at pellet stoves and discussed the pros and cons of all with the owner. They answered all my questions, explained how to operate the stove properly and safely, and then gave me everything I needed to do the installation myself. (No comparison to buying a stove off the floor at Tractor Supply, for example, though that's a fine store otherwise.)
Your questions about cast iron vs. steel, which brand, etc., can be answered by your dealer specific to your budget and needs. I wanted cast iron for the durability, heat-holding ability, and the look. I chose Jotul for their excellent reputation and solid construction. After a season of burning, I am thoroughly pleased with the F3.
I had to do the full installation at my place: pre-fab UL-listed hearth, stove, stovepipe, ceiling support kit, and double wall stainless chimney. It's true that the chimney cost almost as much as the stove. That's for about 16' from the top of my stove to the top of my chimney.
At the time, I was wondering if the whole project would be "worth it." After using the stove all winter, that would be a definite Yes.
It's more work heating with wood-- wife and I cut and split our own-- but we keep the house much warmer than we could afford to with oil heat and we save money. Enough money, at these oil prices, for my stove installation to have paid for itself by the end of the second heating season in spring 2009.
A good place to start would be the Lopi , Jotul, and other manufacturers' web sites, then a visit to a couple of dealers. (There should be a few to choose from up your way.) You can find more stoves and information on heating with wood at
http://www.lehmans.com
Also, start thinking about your supply of firewood. Even if you're going to cut your own, you'll need to get it cut and started seasoning ahead of time... like, now, if you're going to be ready for winter.