For the climbers

[Tree Machine]

Nowthere's a smart client!

 

[TREETX]

Originally posted by Stumper
"My_______ (insert husband,brother-in-law, nephew, neighbor,etc) cut most of it except the part over the house.It shouldn't be too much since they cut most of it ,should it?"

Love this one, especially after I have already bid the work before they started. They want me to waste more of my time to give them a lower number - No thanks.

Climbers

Last night I dränk so much........until so late.....

I don't need to tie it off

I don't need to be tied off

We can just get that 6" limb that is forty feet high with the polesaw

Oh, that, .......the customer won't notice that......

I don't need a leash for my chainsaw....(followed later by) I dropped the chainsaw, the handle is cracked that always happens I fix it with some wire......

Last week I was working in a tree on 8th street and was 120 feet high.......man was that wind scary. (there is not a tree higher than 50ft in the whole neighborhood.)

I don't need to learn footlocking - (followed by them spending the next 20 minutes airhumping.)

 

[John Paul Sanborn]

Originally posted by Treeman14
And then last week, "I made a carrot cake and some fresh lemonade. Do you want some?" Guess who got the extra special clean-up?

Oh yes, and on cold winter days when they bring you hot soup! The old guys with a beer can think their canny, but it's the women who've raised a passle of boys who know what to do!

Sandwiches, I've had a few people in the inner city light up the barbie for our lunch...

 

[treeman82]

I try not to remember the bad ones, too much grief and insanity

Gotta love the ones that offer you cold sodas, water, iced tea, etc. Then there are the ones which offer to buy lunch, or even better yet the ones who make lunch themselves (the little, old Italian ladies are the absolute best at this.)

The one I really love is "Here is a little something extra for you and your crew" and then they proceed to hand you and your crew members $20 cash each

 

[ramanujan]

"Are you really gonna climb up there?"

"Just make it so that no leaves will fall on my roof."

"Some guys I've seen have these spike things on their boots."

"I've got a 60' ladder if you need it."

"Will you teach me how to sharpen a saw?"

"I changed my mind, I do want that limb out."

After a day of technical rigging:

"Yep, so now that the tree is gone we can get the excavator in here to demolish the house and start digging the foundation."

 

[treeman82]

"Aren't you going to use those metal things on your feet?"

 

[geofore]

How are you going to pay for that if it goes through the skylights?(Tree limb over the roof being removed to replace the leaky roof and leaky skylight) From the owner of the home. The carpenter doing the roof called me to do this job.

Do you know how much that air conditioner costs if you hit it? (costomer had to replace it twice, dead elm limb got last time, that's why I'm here to remove the tree) The guy who replaced it lives two houses down from me and warned me about this lady, she stands around the work area all day telling you how to do the job and she did yell at me the cuts to make next to do it her way.

How can you pull that over with one little rope and not hit the house? Tree leans away from the house the rope is there so the tree doesn't hit the car in the driveway they can't find the key for.

How much are you charging him (customer) for this? From the nosey neighbor who doesn't have any trees.

 

[timberfell]

We all know that arrogant homeowner type who has it all figured out:


"It'll be a piece of cake. I mean a real easy one. You just gotta climb all 4 of those 90' maples and trim a half dozen or so limbs out of about a bizzilion that are up there. Yeah just the ones going toward the house, you know that one, that one and.... I'll direct you when you get up there. No big deal. What am I looking at, a couple of hundred bucks?"

Yeah okay buddy!

Kurt

 

[John Paul Sanborn]

No big deal. What am I looking at, a couple of hundred bucks?"




Oh sure...per tree.

 

[oldugly]

Some great ones all of you.
Here are some of the ones I really love:
I know I said you had the job, but another guy was right in the area and said he could do it cheaper, guess I should have called you before you came out. If I need anything in the future I'll be sure to call you first.

Last week I had to rearrange my schedule for a customer who said he needed his black walnut out right away before it "stained his deck again". As the tree is almost on the ground the cell-phone rings and my partner picks it up....
Customer....I decided I would have someone else do that walnut tree, he said he could do it for about half the price you quoted me. But could you take out those two big elms your price was alot lower on them.

Customer....Hey Red remember me, you did some work for me about eight years ago, you remember that big tree don''t you?

Customer...You gave me a bid on a tree removal..a dead elm about three years ago, well I think I'm about ready to take it down now, you can still do it for the same price right?

Customer...You mean grinding the stump is extra?

 

[ORclimber]

groundies refering to cleanup. "It's good enough" when they know it isn't.

"Sure it'll clear the primary" Bzzzzt.

"I can't jump that fence" But you can climb a tree???

"Yes, the (fill in the blank) got put back on the truck" At the next job the (fill in the blank) got left behind.

 

[MasterBlaster]

This happened to me today.....

I was supposed to trim 4 live oaks for this strange lady. I finished up two of them, and she comes outside and tells me how good they looked. As I was preparing to get in the third tree, she tells me to stop and not trim the other two. She wanted to see how her and her husband liked the first two for a while. Then, she asks if it will be half price now - sheesh!

I dunno, maybe she was having financial difficulties, or something. She WAS driving a Cadillac Escalade, though. All four of these oaks were in a row in her front yard. It looks like crap, two trimmed, and two untrimmed.

Oh well. I guess I'll take an early day today.

 

[John Paul Sanborn]

The truck is overflowing with chip and the groundei says "Oh I forgot to get those tools out of the back before we started chipping.

or

"where's the shovel?"

"Oh, probably in the chip pile."

 

[TimberMcPherson]

"Please come, my neighbour started cutting the 30 year old pine tree behind my house, hes cut most of the way through it but the saw broke, you can use the same powercord!"

(you guys know this job, no scarf cut made, saw jammed and imbedded in tree, tree leaning the wrong way, neighbour nowhere to be found but everyone else is there to look.)

"I have a phoenix palm......"

"Dear, the gardener is here!"Grrrrrrrrr

"it doesnt look like youve cut it, take more off"

"I know a guy who could just cut this from the bottom."



"That was put there in memory of my dear (insert name here) its all I have to remember them by" normally tiny little sickly plant that was not mentioned at all in the quote but gains incredible significance once a twig on it is broken.

Questioned by nosey neighbour
"So how are you going to cut that tree down"
"oh I have a chainsaw in the truck."I say slowly
"What about my house?"
"Oh I hadnt noticed that, that makes it tricky, is it worth much?"
Ah back in the days when I was a free to be sarcastic employee....

(to climber 2 weeks ago) "Are you sure thats alright, we dont need to rig it anymore? its not going to hook the lines?"
"nope its sweet"
"I can put a rope on it."
"No its sorted"
Yeah you know what happened, 2 power lines down, little kids from neighbours place cussing us for killing the power to there playstation. Me kicking myself for not pulling rank on a climber with 10 more years experience than me.

"I thought I had done the oilcap tight"

(in a cloud of smoke) "So its not 500ml to 5 litres for fifty to one?"

 

[John Paul Sanborn]

"Ummm, wich one was the oil again??"

 

[Tree Machine]

Client reply...

I got this one yesterday:

"Wow! I thought it would be so much more expensive!" (At which point I'm kicking myself for underestimating the job). -TM-

 

[NeTree]

And then you get the other extreme....the one's who can't understand why you can't pay 3 guys, keep fuel in the truck and chipper, and pay overhead on $200 for a day's worth of work...

which goes along with "Yes sir, I realize you're on a fixed income, but that's my price, and it's a fair one."

 

[John Paul Sanborn]

Well to start with W/C is xx% of gross payroll. So for every 100 my guys get paid XX goes to insurance....This is not easy owrk and we get paid well.