Gigs on craigslist

[lostcoastland]

I have been picking up a small job here and there with the gigs section of craigslist. I just emailed two people about work then i found this ad and i dont even know where to start about replying....

The title says..." Looking for someone to move a tree".... or heres the link... http://losangeles.craigslist.org/lac/lbg/2862459047.html

......."Just like the title says. I have a tree in my front yard that needs to be moved. It speaks to me at night and thus needs to be eradicated from my property immediately. It's about 40 feet tall, and my hands don't even come close to touching when I hug it. Weather permitting, I would like this done within this week. The tree is gentle, so I just ask that you show it the same respect that it shows you.

I have already purchased a saw, hatchet, and wheel barrow so you shouldn't have to worry about tools. Just need someone with the time, experience and possibly a truck to haul the lumber away. This isn't a deal breaker though if you can't hack and haul. You might want to bring a pair of gloves, but that it up to you. I tried to take the tree down while wearing a pair of latex gloves and they were rather ineffective (what's the point of those, anyway?). I am looking to have this tree moved sometime in the next week as its incessant talking is preventing me from getting a good night's sleep. The sooner, the better, the more you get paid.

Please respond with an appropriate resume and list of references. If you have any before and after photos of similar jobs that you have completed, please feel free to include those as well. If a fantastic job is done with this tree I have a few other friends I would gladly recommend you to that are dealing with the same issues I am."



:msp_tongue: I at this moment am just piling on so many things to say this person I think i may just be really polite to get there number

 

[Tree Pig]

Run dont walk but run away from that ad and anyone else that is that friggen nuts. Nothing good can come from that. Son of Sam killed all them people because his dog told him to.

 

[Stihlasaurus]

I don't always conceal carry on job sites, but I would probably be packin' if I was to take that tree down.

BTW, be very gentle tearing that tree apart with your saw. Maybe you could sing to the tree.

 

[ddhlakebound]

Umm yeah......

Just send 'em this in response, and you'll be all good.



Hi there,

I can help immediately with your gentle tree eradication.

I've already sent word to my tree whisperer via psychic messenger, and he should be replying shortly. Do you have a neighbor who wants your tree? Geddy, (the tree whisperer) can coax your tree to a new suitable spot within a quarter mile of it's current position where it can then live gently and talk to someone else at night.

You'll need to tell all your neighbors to be ready to move all their cars and help with traffic control when Geddy gets there. I'm sure you can imagine that walking a forty foot too big to hug tree down the street to it's new home messes up the traffic flow for a bit.

Now for the details....

It'll cost you $85, a bag of cheetos for each hundred yards of distance the tree will be walking, (Geddy uses them to show the tree where he wants it to walk) two gallons of fresh coffee for Geddy ( it's tiring and mentally taxing whispering to trees ), the use of your wheel barrow to haul the coffee and cheetos, and last but certainly not least, Geddy will have to stay a couple nights with the tree (to ensure that it's happy in it's new home), and a couple more nights in the spot that it left, (to help heal the land from it's loss of the tree).

You'll have to negotiate with Geddy on the cost of the re-plantation time and the land healing time, as well as what he'd like to eat and drink while he's there. You'll probably want to order in a porta-potty too.

Oh, one last thing....You CAN NOT sell tickets for people to view the tree walk, or advertise it in any way. Geddy likes trees and dirt, but he don't care much for a whole forest of people. If there's too many around, he'll just camp under the tree until the coast is clear, but then he'll be mad and charge you a bunch more.

Please reply quickly to confirm acceptance for your gentle tree eradication, tree's everywhere need whispered to, and Geddy's schedule fills up quickly this time of year.

 

[fishercat]

typical.

no surprise from craigslist.

 

[beastmaster]

You can't forget this is Calif. and the ad doesn't seem that strange to me. There is a chance you can name your price if your sensitive to this HO's feellings. Go there, comment on what a wonderful tree it is, Bond with the tree and see if there is anyway the HO could some how coexist with this tree(your new buddy)Look sad, then she says it has to go. Reluctantly allow your self to be swayed to do the removal, while shaking your head and muttering what a shame.
Refer to the tree in the third person as "she"
Avoid using works like hacking down, chopping, better off gone etc. Commenting on the spirit of the tree couldn't hurt. Suggest replacing it with another tree more suited to offset the lost of fue shua(or what ever they call that Chinese stuff)
I'd get that job. I could go bid it for you if you want:msp_biggrin:

 

[sgreanbeans]

Just make sure that u are wearing a tie dye

We see crazy adds all the time on there, like "free wood" then they have a pic of some massive narly tree over a house, "all you need to do is remove the tree and I will let you have the wood"

HOWEVER, for what it is worth, I got my sugar momma from there! 12g's of work since Dec! Going back today to look at more prunes.
The local crack hacks put adds on there all the time, so, since it is free, so did I, giving the general public a choice, plus I get to rant in my adds on there about the hacks!
I put adds titles like "You got Joe Dirt as your tree guy"
The way I look at it, craigslist is the new solitary, when peeps are in their cubical, skating there responsibilities, instead of playing solitary, they cruise craigslist, it free and u can put up what eva, so why let the hacks have it. Granted, you get some calls from some morons, but then you get suga mommas too. I say go talk to the hippie, like beasty said, hug the tree before you pull out your saw and kill it

 

[flushcut]

I am guessing an older cat lady with no life.

 

[ClimbinArbor]

Id go for it...

The guy isnt a mental case, hes just not smart..... lol. Anyone who trys taking down a tree with a pair of latex gloves has common sense problems, this being california too, go figure. The speaking tree bit is probably just the tree rubbing his house. And I think by "moving" he means removing.

It would be worth looking into...

Keeping Betsy loaded in the front seat isnt a bad idea either though lol.