I can cobble together some green alder for him. I've even got some wire that is just like baling wire. That and duck tape ought to be enough to build a wonderful ladder/walker/help/and optional cup holder contraption. I'm also thinking it needs shiny streamers on it somewhere, and glitter. Oh, and a squishy horn.
If you build that can I try it out at your house? How's your homeowner's insurance?