mile9socounty
Two-Stroke Swope
(This is an actual memo handed out to us at work today.)
Dear Employees:
It has been brought to management's attention that some individuals throughout the company have been using foul language during the course of normal conversation with their co-workers.
Due to complaints received from some employees who may be easily offended, this type of language will no longer be tolerated. Therefore, a list of 18 New and Innovative 'TRY SAYING' phrases have been provided so that proper exchange of ideas and information can continue in an effective manner.
#1
Try saying: I think you could use more training.
Instead of: You don't know what the f__ you're doing.
#2
Try saying: She's an aggressive go-getter.
Instead of: She's a f__ing bit__.
#3
Try saying: Perhaps I can work late.
Instead of: And when the f__ do you expect me to do this?
#4
Try saying: I'm certain that isn't feasible.
Instead of: No f__ing way.
#5
Try saying: Really?
Instead of: You've got to be sh__ing me!
#6
Try saying: Perhaps you should check with...
Instead of: Tell someone who gives a sh__.
#7
Try saying: I wasn't involved in the project.
Instead of: It's not my f__ing problem.
#8
Try saying: That's interesting.
Instead of: What the f__?
#9
Try saying: I'm not sure this can be implemented.
Instead of: This sh__ won't work.
#10
Try saying: I'll try to schedule that.
Instead of: Why the f__ didn't you tell me sooner?
#11
Try saying: He's not familiar with the issues.
Instead of: He's got his head up his a__.
#12
Try saying: Excuse me, sir?
Instead of: Eat sh__ and die.
#13
Try saying: So you weren't happy with it?
Instead of: Kiss my a__.
#14
Try saying: I'm a bit overloaded at the moment.
Instead of: F__ it, I'm on salary.
#15
Try saying: I don't think you understand.
Instead of: Shove it up your a__.
#16
Try saying: I love a challenge.
Instead of: This f__ing job sucks.
#17
Try saying: You want me to take care of that?
Instead of: Who the f__ died and made you boss?
#18
Try saying: He's somewhat insensitive.
Instead of: He's a pr_ck.
Thank You,
Management.
(Most of this comes out in the brush. Normally we don't say too much to anyone around the compounds. That's how you get noticed.)
Dear Employees:
It has been brought to management's attention that some individuals throughout the company have been using foul language during the course of normal conversation with their co-workers.
Due to complaints received from some employees who may be easily offended, this type of language will no longer be tolerated. Therefore, a list of 18 New and Innovative 'TRY SAYING' phrases have been provided so that proper exchange of ideas and information can continue in an effective manner.
#1
Try saying: I think you could use more training.
Instead of: You don't know what the f__ you're doing.
#2
Try saying: She's an aggressive go-getter.
Instead of: She's a f__ing bit__.
#3
Try saying: Perhaps I can work late.
Instead of: And when the f__ do you expect me to do this?
#4
Try saying: I'm certain that isn't feasible.
Instead of: No f__ing way.
#5
Try saying: Really?
Instead of: You've got to be sh__ing me!
#6
Try saying: Perhaps you should check with...
Instead of: Tell someone who gives a sh__.
#7
Try saying: I wasn't involved in the project.
Instead of: It's not my f__ing problem.
#8
Try saying: That's interesting.
Instead of: What the f__?
#9
Try saying: I'm not sure this can be implemented.
Instead of: This sh__ won't work.
#10
Try saying: I'll try to schedule that.
Instead of: Why the f__ didn't you tell me sooner?
#11
Try saying: He's not familiar with the issues.
Instead of: He's got his head up his a__.
#12
Try saying: Excuse me, sir?
Instead of: Eat sh__ and die.
#13
Try saying: So you weren't happy with it?
Instead of: Kiss my a__.
#14
Try saying: I'm a bit overloaded at the moment.
Instead of: F__ it, I'm on salary.
#15
Try saying: I don't think you understand.
Instead of: Shove it up your a__.
#16
Try saying: I love a challenge.
Instead of: This f__ing job sucks.
#17
Try saying: You want me to take care of that?
Instead of: Who the f__ died and made you boss?
#18
Try saying: He's somewhat insensitive.
Instead of: He's a pr_ck.
Thank You,
Management.
(Most of this comes out in the brush. Normally we don't say too much to anyone around the compounds. That's how you get noticed.)
