Spent the morning cleaning off my desk and watching Sons of Anarchy, I built a fire with all the tax documents and was actually thinking Peg Bundy was kinda hot but it passed so I split some wood until the mailman came and was depressed that nobody sent me any money, especially the chubby chick up there who had the scrapers cleaning up her homosexual ex-husband's place all day.
Around 2 I took what checks I had to the bank where yet another homosexual was completely obsequious making me more and more paranoid about the way life is conducted and I wondered just how many times he said the same thing over and over again with such exuberance to so many people every ****ing day.
From there I went to Shep's and sat on his golf cart drinking his beers and watching him load about a million yards of black dyed til he finally pulled himself out of his Bobcat and came and sat next next to me so I sung him a song, it went like this:" You think yer all about the ***** but I see you checking out my lily white tushy" then stomped the pedal to the floor and tried to jump over the pea gravel which was a no go considering it was just and old golf cart.
His wife came out complaining about people and her sciatic nerve then started bending and stretching for awhile so having enough of that I came back home, put the teeth on the bucket and indiscriminately tore out a redbud that I had plopped over the gas line a few years ago. I stuck it in a pile of chips hoping it would die because although they are cute little trees they proliferate like rabbits and usually next to the foundation.
I was jerking off up there for awhile pissing around in the garden til my wife came home and put on some pink see through yoga pants and started raking leaves, I was pretty drunk by then but managed about 4 minutes with her then fell asleep.
I woke up feeling pretty ****ing groggy so I sucked down a few more cans and reseeded the lawn that I had torn up in my drunken antics and took down the back catch because my neighbor told me he found arrows and bullet holes in his camper.
What did you do today?
