lack of acorns
there have been sightings in new england and the midwest this year of an abomination of nature. a giant 4' tall, 20' long squirrel has been seen devouring whole trees worth of acorns by simply shaking the trunk and opening his mouth. the squirrel is nocturnal and its fur is identical to mossy oak breakup camoflauge. authorities are asking people not to try and intervene with the squirrels habits, as it may defend itself visciously and aquire a taste for blood. However, due to the almost impossible odds of even seeing the squirrel, loss of life is not expected.
lol sorry guys, its one of those days lol