Here's what you do.
hang your normal central-big-keychain from the center bit
stuff the mess in your pocket
if you want to hang it from your neck, do
if you want to hang it from your belt loop, do
if you don't want to do either, let it sit on the counter; sooner or later, you'll need to open a bottle
Snarkiness aside: lots of workplaces (several of my former ones included) require an ID badge to be prominently displayed at all times. A lanyard is the preferred method of display. A cool lanyard sets you apart from your drab cubicle-bound co-workers. Oregon makes chains for chainsaws. An Oregon lanyard is pretty much indisputably cooler than any other lanyard in whatever office you may find yourself in.
Even More Snarkiness Aside: that's a pretty good design for a bottle opener, and the ruler printed inside the lanyard isn't bad either. This is pretty good swag.
