customers say the darndest things

[imagineero]

Was out doing my quotes yesterday when it just seemed like one after the other customers were saying the funniest stuff. It got hard to keep a straight face by the end of the day. One lady said of an evergreen tree;

"I'm a tree person, I love trees, but this tree is just awful"

"Really 'mam? How so?"

"You wouldn't believe it, but the leaves fall off. Then I have to go clean them up. Seems like I never get a moments rest. I'd like it removed and replaced with a tree that doesn't drop any leaves"


I bet you guys have some hum dingers, lets here 'em...

 

[TimberMcPherson]

Oh just the classics

"I love trees but...." Normally followed by the request to get rid of every standing plant on the property and within view from said property or prune them to below waist height

"this tree just doesnt do anything" Oh unlike the one that walks the dog and carrys 3 gigs of music

 

[2strokenut]

lol subscribed opcorn:

 

[2treeornot2tree]

Had the last two customers bad mouth my compition. Its hard not to say anything bad, but it dont look professional, and looks bad to the customer. Good thing is they are calling me now.

 

[brokenbudget]

had an older fellow come in about a year or 2 ago with a stihl 025. no airfilter.
he says: " i don't like airfilters, they're just dust collectors. i don't run em on any of my stuff".
thats exactly what he said.:taped:

 

[sgreanbeans]

Ya gotta love the peeps who want trees that dont make a mess. I get that all the time, I usually suggest a 8x8, treated post to plant, then they will have very little maintenance.

 

[treeman82]

A while back I was looking at a job for a regular client. She points to a part of her property and tells me she wants me to prune "that tree."
"which one?" There were many in that area.
"The leafy green one."

 

[Buzzkill]

last week a Lady shows me the leaf buds on an elm. "It didn't have as much of these disease lumps on them when it was young, you need to cut it down."

 

[what-a-stihl]

Removed a 14" diameter red oak limb above a homeowner's garage that was about 20' long and about 25' above the garage roof and the homeowner insisted on me to drop it on his roof instead of rigging it, said he thought it could support the fall. The house was brand new so it wasn't because he wanted an insurance claim, he really thought it would take the load. After swaying him to let me rig it and refusing to let it land on his roof, I got the limb to the ground and he then realized it would of destroyed his rafters.

 

[tree md]

Pasted from an email I received from a lady in reply to a message I had sent saying that I had removed her trees while she was at work last week.

Yes, I was home for lunch and saw that they were gone. You brute! Well, thanks, I guess. We'll settle up on Monday?

 

[flushcut]

Yes, I was home for lunch and saw that they were gone. You brute! Well, thanks, I guess. We'll settle up on Monday?

Priceless!

 

[Zale]

Pasted from an email I received from a lady in reply to a message I had sent saying that I had removed her trees while she was at work last week.

Yes, I was home for lunch and saw that they were gone. You brute! Well, thanks, I guess. We'll settle up on Monday?

She likes you.

 

[tree md]

So I get a call from a lady yesterday that says her tree is creaking and she just wants me to make it stop... So I promised her I would make it stop. Lol.

 

[Youngbuck20]

So I get a call from a lady yesterday that says her tree is creaking and she just wants me to make it stop... So I promised her I would make it stop. Lol.

tell her something like its her crotch creaking and the wood needs lubrication, see where that gets ya lol good luck

 

[HappyTreesLLC]

Sears sales this trees never drop leafs. Any were $100 to $300.

 

[Groundman One]

I got the weirdest - and saddest - call we ever got about three-weeks ago. My boss gives me all the French callbacks on his answering machine, and one was an old lady who wanted to know, since we work with trees, if we could hep her cure her breast cancer. She asked if we knew about any tree bark or "tree herbs" that might help. Oh my Lord. I think that poor woman was just sitting there going through the phone book calling anyone and everyone. We talked for about 15 minutes, and it was obvious she was old and alone and afraid, and by the end of the call I felt as useless and depressed as could be.

The other weird one was a woman who called and asked if we cut trees for free. She said we had cut trees for one of her neighbours and he told her we'd work for free. I told her if she made us really excellent coffee we'd consider it, otherwise, no.

 

[KenJax Tree]

A few weeks ago i went to a customers house and gave a quote i bid $1100 for the removal,chip all brush,grind out stump, and clean the site well i got the job so this past friday i did the job, i got all the limbs off and started chunking it and the groundie were loading the wood in dump truck and the homeowner comes out and calls me down from the tree and says "you're taking the wood? I think you should knock some money off if you're keeping the wood" so i said "i will gladly leave it here its less work for me and i don't have to pay to dump it" then the HO says "well i don't want the wood" :msp_confused: ok so what do you want me to do??? I was totally stumped (no pun intended). Im not sure what part of the word REMOVE tree from front yard he didn't understand, but the kicker is he ended up keeping the wood but i still got the $1100 for the removal job.

 

[tree md]

Got to my second job today and the customer surprised me by being there. Said she took a half day of vaca so she could be there for the job (she was so freaking hot!). She said so you are going to leave the wood for me??? I said well ya!!! Showed her the saw logs I had on the truck already from the previous job and told her she could have them too. She said " you rock"! Then I told her I could drop by and give her another load of free wood the next time I did a job in her neighborhood... She said "hell yeah"!... Cannot wait to see her fine ass again... I might drop her another load in the morning on my way to the dump...

 

[KenJax Tree]

Got to my second job today and the customer surprised me by being there. Said she took a half day of vaca so she could be there for the job (she was so freaking hot!). She said so you are going to leave the wood for me??? I said well ya!!! Showed her the saw logs I had on the truck already from the previous job and told her she could have them too. She said " you rock"! Then I told her I could drop by and give her another load of free wood the next time I did a job in her neighborhood... She said "hell yeah"!... Cannot wait to see her fine ass again... I might drop her another load in the morning on my way to the dump...

You should be there right now dumping a load lol

 

[HappyTreesLLC]

You should be there right now dumping a load lol

Yehhh:hmm3grin2orange:

A few weeks ago i went to a customers house and gave a quote i bid $1100 for the removal,chip all brush,grind out stump, and clean the site well i got the job so this past friday i did the job, i got all the limbs off and started chunking it and the groundie were loading the wood in dump truck and the homeowner comes out and calls me down from the tree and says "you're taking the wood? I think you should knock some money off if you're keeping the wood" so i said "i will gladly leave it here its less work for me and i don't have to pay to dump it" then the HO says "well i don't want the wood" :msp_confused: ok so what do you want me to do??? I was totally stumped (no pun intended). Im not sure what part of the word REMOVE tree from front yard he didn't understand, but the kicker is he ended up keeping the wood but i still got the $1100 for the removal job.

Awesome.