Firewood Pet Peeves.You know you want to vent...

[matt9923]

With my tree farm this year selling cristmas trees one guy said they diditn smell the rite way??? WHAT.
You wouldnt belive teh calls i get, I have about 4000 trees peopel call and say do you have any trees left? No they all blew away?
One guy calls and asked me if i grow realy trees? what in teh worald no i grow dead trees or plastic ones!!!
I could go on for hours but ill spare you, can belive how dumb these city folk are.
Iv had worse but i dont feel like thinking about it. One guy walk up to teh stream and says how do i get across, "theirs a bridge rite their" oh thats what that is for??? wth walk across the damb thing! or walk thew the water in 20degree weather idk.
Ok im done Matt

 

[arhillbilly]

had call @ 4.30 pm sunday, ya got any wood, no i'll have some tommorrow, but i am completely out , i have to have it today, sorry , guess ya should have noticed before now.

 

[woodchopper]

woodbooga: (WOOD-boog-ah), n. regional dialect, common to areas of New Hampshire and Maine including the towns of Ossipee, Alton, Farmington, Acton, and Lebanon; one who attempts to obtain free firewood to fuel woodburning appliances in an effort to mitigate expenses related to home heating with fossil fuels. Frequently used as a term of derision by non-woodburners who mock the presence of loose bark and other wood waste in the beds of their pickup trucks.

I used to live in two of these towns. Funny you should be talking about them.

 

[BaldSawRunner]

"You mean you are not going to take it in back (maybe 100 wbarrow trips) for that high price?"

Sale over....now I got a load of splits on my dump trailer and cannot use it for tree work. You gotta love em , they are so adorable. And each and every one of the male of this species used to be a tree person and take down big trees prior to becoming president of their Widget company.

Reminds me of a couple of people my dad delivered to when I was a kid.

My dad's old boss calls and says,"I need wood, how much you getting for it?"

Dad tells him $50 thrown out of the truck, $65 stacked. Guy says ok, bring it and stack it.

Deliver the wood, my brother and I are tossing the wood out of the truck, dad is stacking it up. Guy brings out the check for....$50. Dad said,"I told you the price is higher for stacking the wood." Guy starts throwing a fit (he was so tight he squeaked when he walked, a real ###hole anyway.) Guy says I'm not gonna pay that...Dad said ok boys, throw it back in the truck. We start loading the truck back up, guy finally relents and pays dad the $65.

Other story, one my my sister's high school friends calls and says her and her hubby need wood. She calls later that night and says they don't need it afterall. Seems her husband told her he could get the wood himself with his college buddies. About 3-4 days later, she calls wanting firewood again. We drive to where she wants it at, and there in the back yard, was a stump that looked like a blind beaver had chewed on it for a month. Come to find out, college boy bought a chainsaw and cut down that tree. Her wife told him she was calling dad for her firewood before he killed himself:monkey:

 

[modn]

I personally get a kick out of the folks who think they've got it over you because your the one doing the delivering. I don't understand their logic though...You just gave me $200-$400 dollars and I'm the sucker? HA!

Especially when I could put a couple of their houses inside of mine and build a few more on my front lawn. HAHA!

Not to mention how much I love making the little soft men look like little soft men in the presence of their women. HAHAHA!

Then there is the handshake that makes him question his own manhood. You know what I mean; He does his best to give you a "firm" handshake but even if his dainty little fingers can make it all the way around your palm, his soft effeminate hands don't have the were withal to dimple the meat between your thumb and index finger. These testosterone deficient metrosexuals can't seem to let go fast enough to save themselves the psychic emasculation that comes from having their baby soft flesh violated by the callous and scar tissue of a mans hand. HAHAHAHA!

Or maybe I've just got an over-inflated ego that imagines it all and I really am just a poor schlub servicing my betters.

That is one of the funniest things I have read in quite some time!!!! And so true!!! I hate freaking noodle hands, then I get to hear their knuckles crack!!

 

[matt9923]

+1
Jezz learn to shake a hand, limp risted little........... :censored: :censored: :censored: :censored: :censored: :censored: :censored: :censored:
Matt

 

[GrizzlyAdams86]

opcorn: My friend telling me I'm cutting the pieces "too short" or "too long" all the time when cutting with him. Finding out there are ground hornets around, the hard way, of course. Or having to fight though a wall of thorny crap (vines or those bush/sappling things) and working around Buckthorn: long story short, don't get stabbed by their "thorns". I'll have to post a picutre of the kind we have around here sometime. And driving across what looks to be a "innocent looking patch of dirt" but it's mud. Friend got his 1/2 ton buried up to the axles w/half a box full of wood in that spot. And that's all I have to vent right now.

 

[StihltheOne]

No good piece of **** auto NON locking hubs son of a bit my tounge just in time stuck sumbeeee in 2 in of snow truck.
I feel better. Thanks