firewood sales, i thought i had heard it all

[logbutcher]

Whiskey Tango Foxtrot....

SO MANY DUMB CUSTOMERS, SO LITTLE TIME, SO LITTLE $$$$$$.

Why am I in this business ? Everyone is just soooooooo stupid.opcorn:

 

[Locust Cutter]

Whiskey Tango Foxtrot....

SO MANY DUMB CUSTOMERS, SO LITTLE TIME, SO LITTLE $$$$$$.

Why am I in this business ? Everyone is just soooooooo stupid.opcorn:

All the more upholding the observation, that common sense - isn't common!!!!!:monkey:

 

[logbutcher]

All the more upholding the observation, that common sense - isn't common!!!!!:monkey:

Oh yeah.

"Firewood, it's Just Common Proctology":deadhorse:

 

[Kingsley]

Another one,

Sold a few facecord this fall. Advertised at "$90 a facecord, delievery available" and no calls. So then we decided to go with "$70 a facecord, delivery options available" and received all kinds of calls. We had intended to deliver the wood within a reasonable distance for free when selling the wood at $90, but at $70 we charged $1 a loaded mile. So we ended up delivering all but one facecord, which averaged $90, with no complaints.

Kind of funny that the intial price is the selling factor.

Love the stories on here. I actually printed them off and showed them to my firewood cutting buddy who isn't on the web.

Thanks,
Marty

 

[banshee67]

I actually printed them off and showed them to my firewood cutting buddy who isn't on the web.

thats gotta be the funniest thing ive read in this whole thread!
tell him its almost 2011...:hmm3grin2orange:

 

[Kingsley]

thats gotta be the funniest thing ive read in this whole thread!
tell him its almost 2011...

He isn't going to budge on that one. He has cut himself off from progressing down that tech road. Same as I have. I refuse to get into the Facebook, my space, twitter craze that has completely brought down society a few notches in socializing skills.

IMO,
Marty

 

[Echo Kid]

sdfsjfjsdfs

 

[banshee67]

He isn't going to budge on that one. He has cut himself off from progressing down that tech road. Same as I have. I refuse to get into the Facebook, my space, twitter craze that has completely brought down society a few notches in socializing skills.

IMO,
Marty

well looks like youll have to start charging him for ink cartridges, they aint cheap! lol

 

[firewood guy]

I had a good one today. Now in southern california people can be kinda snobbish, not alot of beater mobiles on the road. I got a 79 f250 4x4 stakeside krylon black paint job. I pull up to the light at an off ramp loaded with wood and a bum that was asking for money says, " Hey buddy sorry bout the hard times , don't worry things will get better, beats bein me! I about sharted my pants. That amused me. People always give me dirty looks and don't get too close to me on the highway driving that thing, I love it.

OH so funny! I forgot I still had my camo chaps on, walked into a CVS pharmacy at about 7 p.m. on monday looking for some lubrication material on my way back to the yard. The Salvation Army bell-ringer gave me a mournful look and said " hang in there brother, things will get better!" Of course, was covered in that thin layer of dirt, mud , and wood chips. Cologne of the working class!! You're story is better because of the truck.. mine is an 07 dodge 3500 4x4, but is looking getto cuz of all the mismatched rims/ tires from flats.. as long as it gets to and from the the wood, I'm a happy camper. Still, it's funny to see the reaction from those SOB's who haven't done EVER a days worth of physical work when they see us walk into a store leaving a gingerbread trail of forest material along the floor.. I just love it.

 

[firewood guy]

I was out there once in my hunting vehicle, a 69 bronco. A car pulled alongside on the freeway, flipping me off, cussing, swerving, and generally really pissed. I hadn't changed speed in miles, hadn't cut anyone off, so I couldn't figure it out, until she went on past and the rear of that volvo was completely covered with 'save the whales' and the like of stickers.

Then I knew, it was pretty funny. (Wonder if she was packing? :biggrinbounce2::biggrinbounce2::biggrinbounce2

Did it also have an "O" bumper sticker?:hmm3grin2orange:

 

[tnxm]

Had a guy yesterday call and ask for 32 inch sections of live locust, so of course I go out and do a truck load of it. He picks it up and after I help him load it he tells me he only has half the money, I politely say well then i guess you only get half the wood. Got right up in the truck bed and unloaded half his truck, took the 50 bucks and told him not to call me again. The nerve i tell ya

 

[firewood guy]

You all have probably heard something similar. Get a call for one cord delivered. Got settled on specifics including price. Customer was excited, wanted a quick delivery. Said no problem, We can get you're delivery taken care of on our third load (about two hours from the the tell call) Then the fun begins!! Cust is a single (divorced ) Woman that has a special need--her sons car is in the driveway in front of the gate to the back yard. It gets better.. the car won't start....do you know anything about cars? do you think you can get it started? If not , maybe you can just move it. If that doesn't work, can you just back up the dump truck behind the car and hand-carry the wood around the car, through the gate, and stack it back around the corner of my house next to the back door so I don't have to carry it so far?? Sometimes the most fulfillment from a hard days work is the entertainment value from our customers. But GOD bless them! they pay the bills. Also had another "do you guarantee you're wood?" Said with a straight face " Yes sir , this is genuine wood , made here in America.. no Chinese stuff here!! And yes , IT WILL BURN!!!!!

 

[firewood guy]

Makes me very thankful that I have plenty of property to cut my own wood and not selling any of it! People can be a challenge. We are all so....... imperfect! Imagine that!

To those of you who make a living by selling wood.... I have a ton of respect for you! Don't let the turkeys get you down---they need heat too!

We southern cali's have to fight for wood. Having said, I still enjoy the firewood season even w/ all the the turkeys out there. Gives me the the opp to loose a few pounds and fire up the big saws..MS 660 x2 MS 066 MS 880 pullin' a 59"!! Stihl RSF / RSC/ RSL chain is the ONLY way to go in MY humble oppinion. FYI also came across some Stihl RD chain loops at a great deal. We cut burnt wood out of the NF's and it will blowout you're chain in about 2-3 hours. Using the Stihl RD we can run the chain for 2-4 days w/o sharpening. .P.S. you do not need the Stihl "shaped diamond grinding wheel" on their machine.. anyone with a good steady hand and a quality diamond point can touch-up these chains quickly. Hope this is usefull.. Mike

 

[Suz]

http://tricities.craigslist.org/wan/2073469408.html

Note that they'll take donations for firewood - since chainsaws are a no-no

These are the same type of people who think meat comes from a grocery store, and the electricity for their electric car comes out of a plug.

 

[spencerhenry]

but then there are good deliveries. back the truck up to the porch, unlatch the tailgate and hit the button. wood comes out, bed comes down, i drive away with a check and a cash tip.
was actually a very famous person's daughter, grateful that i could deliver on short notice, and also polite.

but i really get tired of taking phone calls from people that think they know more about wood than i do. it is possible, but i really doubt it. yesterday a guy calls about the logs i have for sale, wants to know where they are. reasonable enough question, i tell them they are along the side of my driveway and that i will park my log loader in the driveway, and his trailer on the driveway next to me and load the logs. "oh, ok, i didnt know it would be so difficult. i thought you had a stack of logs i could pull right up to" ???? i said "they are right next to the road, if you arent paying attention you will run your truck into the pile. after explaining the situation for 10 minutes or more, he has the typical firewood buyers response, " ok, i will get back to you". he didnt "have time" this year to cut his own wood. so now he wants to buy logs to cut and split for firewood for this year. nothing like waiting until the last minute.

 

[Rickochet]

Sometimes the most fulfillment from a hard days work is the entertainment value from our customers. But GOD bless them! they pay the bills. Also had another "do you guarantee you're wood?" Said with a straight face " Yes sir , this is genuine wood , made here in America.. no Chinese stuff here!! And yes , IT WILL BURN!!!!!

Guaranteed wood????............ That was a great response! So far, you have the smile for the day!
:hmm3grin2orange:

 

[logbutcher]

Finale:

Those damned customers.....they're all soooooooooooooooooooooooo
stupid. They don't know what I know.:spam:

Why oh why do I even bother with such dumb people ? :censored::censored:

Gee, I know all about proctology, why don't they know what I know.

:jawdrop:

(What an attitude Msr Gump )

 

[Pulp Friction]

.............Also had another "do you guarantee you're wood?" Said with a straight face " Yes sir , this is genuine wood , made here in America.. no Chinese stuff here!! And yes , IT WILL BURN!!!!!

Mine's almost as good as that one......... Last week I was delivering bundles to a new account and the store owner asked me "what's the shelf-life of that oak"

I felt like telling him that I had some 15-year old solid oak furniture at home that hasn't expired yet!

 

[logbutcher]

Mine's almost as good as that one......... Last week I was delivering bundles to a new account and the store owner asked me "what's the shelf-life of that oak"

I felt like telling him that I had some 15-year old solid oak furniture at home that hasn't expired yet!

A good one, yessirreeebob. Those customers, don't know nothing.

So the other day Pulp went to his Urologist................................:hmm3grin2orange::hmm3grin2orange:

 

[Brushwacker]

I had 1 lady if she could smell a piece of wood she would say it smelled like puke or sometimes dog sh#t. If 1 piece smelled , it was the whole load. I'd unload it with her husband and ask him if he smelled anything offensive, no problem until later. Bought most of her wood off me though for years until they moved.
I usually pre inform people of the condition of the wood when I take the order and have very few complaints. Some people come up with compaints to use an excuse to try and get out of the payment. Small cons ...