Forgive me, for I was cocky....
It was the second day of the TCI Expo and my wife was badgering and trash talking me into doing one of these competitions that were put on for the involvement of the attendees. We we going by the belayed speedclimb for the third or forth time, and she starts trashing me again, "C'mon wussie-Boy. You know you can roast those guys! You should climb that rope for my honor, and my glory."
My advice to you is, don't bring your wife to TCI.
So anyway, I got signed up, and you get matched up with another climber to sort of race, y'know? The climber I'm matched against was last year's female world champion, from Germany, Ohh, my wife continued the ribbing, "You should be a man, and let her win. Be the gentleman. Show some foreign diplomacy and tact. Don't steal her thunder..."
Remember what I said about not bringing your wife.....? Double that.
So it's our turn. I am truly honored to meet this climber and almost feel bad that I'm about to leave her in the dust. I give her a big international hug. Then I put on my blue rubberized wondergloves and start rigging my prussik. I heard someonoe in the audience, said, "Hey, heh, that dude's wearing gloves". I appeared not to even hear it. Slowly, kinda like a sloth, I pulled my way up the rope, just so my feet were a few feet off the floor. Then I let one hand fall to the side, body motionless, gripping the doubled rope and hanging by one hand. I hung there for a few seconds, checking out the looks on the faces of the crowd, released just so, and came slowly back to the floor. Then I toasted the German chick.
