Humor in the Woods

[slowp]

The family loggers told me of a plan to do away with their whistles. They want to cut more trees, then use their cell phones to text instructions back and forth. Won't they need a cell phone tower nearby? Or maybe they plan to have long antennae on the phones as they get coverage by walking over to the unit edge and holding a pickup antenna up.

The elder was telling me about falling (or not falling) on a fire. This would have been in the 1970s. Now, that was when they cut the big trees around here so he and the crew would have had large saws. He told me that they were led out to the woods during the fire, put in a rock pit and told to stay there and wait for instructions. Nobody came. They got bored so cut a small tree and carved a rough baseball bat with their saws. They made a ball out of electrical tape and played baseball for a few days and got paid.

 

[2dogs]

I don't know about the first paragraph but completely believe the second one. Gov'mint agencies specialize in "hurry up and wait". I remember when I was first hired I was tailboard along with another firefighter. We were second in to a structure fire and a supply had already been layed. The captain told us to stay on the engine till he came and got us. We sat there 20 minutes while other engines arrived and drove around us. At the critique a few days later our captain was ripped and threatend with demotion. BTW we lost a big piece of that motel from that fire.

 

[bullbuck]

The family loggers told me of a plan to do away with their whistles. They want to cut more trees, then use their cell phones to text instructions back and forth. Won't they need a cell phone tower nearby? Or maybe they plan to have long antennae on the phones as they get coverage by walking over to the unit edge and holding a pickup antenna up.

The elder was telling me about falling (or not falling) on a fire. This would have been in the 1970s. Now, that was when they cut the big trees around here so he and the crew would have had large saws. He told me that they were led out to the woods during the fire, put in a rock pit and told to stay there and wait for instructions. Nobody came. They got bored so cut a small tree and carved a rough baseball bat with their saws. They made a ball out of electrical tape and played baseball for a few days and got paid.

two years ago,we broke our own personal records for slacking on a fire,hit the woods at 7,after an ample breakfast of course,dozer assisted a small backburn till maybe 830,was told to stay put,we sat there and b.s.till 6 p.m.i think that might have been the longest day of my life

 

[Roy M]

In 1988, I drove a fuel truck chasing a helicopter on fires in northern CA. We worked with the CDF and air guard helicopter crews.
We Canadians were amazed at the way things were done. Nobody hit the deck until 8am. We were ready but did not start flying until around 11. The firefighters took a coffee break at 10, an hour for lunch at noon, another break at 3 then back to the motels at 5. The fire will still be there in the morning, don't worry about it.
I was up early and we had the a/c refueled ready to go by 7. I had to stay there for the day, after 5 I had dinner then drove sixty miles for another load of fuel and returned. The truck was underpowered, that was a three to four hour trip. The CDF boss made several comments about our work ethic.

 

[Gologit]

In 1988, I drove a fuel truck chasing a helicopter on fires in northern CA. We worked with the CDF and air guard helicopter crews.
We Canadians were amazed at the way things were done. Nobody hit the deck until 8am. We were ready but did not start flying until around 11. The firefighters took a coffee break at 10, an hour for lunch at noon, another break at 3 then back to the motels at 5. The fire will still be there in the morning, don't worry about it.
I was up early and we had the a/c refueled ready to go by 7. I had to stay there for the day, after 5 I had dinner then drove sixty miles for another load of fuel and returned. The truck was underpowered, that was a three to four hour trip. The CDF boss made several comments about our work ethic.

I was on fires here in NorCal in 88 also. You and I must have been on different fires. Our birds were in the air as soon as they had a horizon and the kids on the line sure as hell weren't taking any coffee breaks that I ever saw.
The fuel tanker would run to Richmond or Sacramento every night, at least a 300 mile round trip depending on what fire we were on, fill up and be back at
the staging area before daylight. We didn't own or run any underpowered equipment.
Did I see slack time and waste of equipment resources? Sure. But when we worked we flat out worked.

 

[bullbuck]

I was on fires here in NorCal in 88 also. You and I must have been on different fires. Our birds were in the air as soon as they had a horizon and the kids on the line sure as hell weren't taking any coffee breaks that I ever saw.
The fuel tanker would run to Richmond or Sacramento every night, at least a 300 mile round trip depending on what fire we were on, fill up and be back at
the staging area before daylight. We didn't own or run any underpowered equipment.
Did I see slack time and waste of equipment resources? Sure. But when we worked we flat out worked.

guess i left out that we actually put in some good long hours pushing line also,i dropped off the lowboy at 330 in the afternoon,and pushed line for 29 hours with only a two hour break,just long enough to cease the knees up,the only reason i had to stop pushing line is a gubmnt "safety guy"just had to know how long i had been on that cat?eventually i had to tell him,and thats when the job went to shirt for me...

 

[Gologit]

guess i left out that we actually put in some good long hours pushing line also,i dropped off the lowboy at 330 in the afternoon,and pushed line for 29 hours with only a two hour break,just long enough to cease the knees up,the only reason i had to stop pushing line is a gubmnt "safety guy"just had to know how long i had been on that cat?eventually i had to tell him,and thats when the job went to shirt for me...

LOL...darn safety guys get in the way of getting the work done sometimes.

There wasn't anything wrong with Roy M's post, I just didn't want people to start thinking that everybody just goofs on on fires. Most of us know better but some of the people on AS haven't really had a lot of exposure to what really goes on.

I'll admit that there's a lot of waste sometimes, both manpower and equipment. But the average person never sees the guys (and gals) out cutting line or punching roads or falling. All they see is the loungers around the firebase and the equipment on standby.

I've done the bop-til-you-drop thing on Cats, too. Ain't no fun. But you stay at it until you're done or until some safety dweeb makes you quit.

 

[slowp]

Most of the fires I've been on, we worked long hours that they won't let you do anymore. Lost 15 pounds in 3 weeks on one tour. But then there's the time (Thanksgiving fires) in S. Collyfonia that they wouldn't let us work overtime, they were trying to save money? Our biggest day was 14 hours when we built 3 waterbars and then waited to get picked up.

Those 30 hour shifts are killers. We usually got a short nap (which is no no) in the dust on the fireline, but then it was up and go after a few minutes. The mind and body become pretty stupid. That's when the trivia starts, to try to keep morale and spirits up. Name the entire Brady Bunch, or Seven Dwarfs, etc.
Stupid songs are made up. Anything to keep moving and going. Then you drag your butts back to camp and look at the new arrivals. And hope they make some progress. Eat, shower--if there is one, and collapse in your bed on the ground. Being a side sleeper, I always tried to make or find a hip hole in the ground for part of my "bed."

 

[bullbuck]

LOL...darn safety guys get in the way of getting the work done sometimes.

There wasn't anything wrong with Roy M's post, I just didn't want people to start thinking that everybody just goofs on on fires. Most of us know better but some of the people on AS haven't really had a lot of exposure to what really goes on.

I'll admit that there's a lot of waste sometimes, both manpower and equipment. But the average person never sees the guys (and gals) out cutting line or punching roads or falling. All they see is the loungers around the firebase and the equipment on standby.

I've done the bop-til-you-drop thing on Cats, too. Ain't no fun. But you stay at it until you're done or until some safety dweeb makes you quit.

you are right i always forget alot of users are looking from the outside in,as a matter of fact i would call myself a fire rookie,i have been on maybe a dozen incidents,usually operating dozers,you just have to take a differen mindset on fires for me,they definately will work a machine for twelve hours a day and maybe more if they can come up with work for you,and i like that,i feel accomplished then,but if i sit around waiting to me that is the hardest work there is...

 

[bullbuck]

Most of the fires I've been on, we worked long hours that they won't let you do anymore. Lost 15 pounds in 3 weeks on one tour. But then there's the time (Thanksgiving fires) in S. Collyfonia that they wouldn't let us work overtime, they were trying to save money? Our biggest day was 14 hours when we built 3 waterbars and then waited to get picked up.

Those 30 hour shifts are killers. We usually got a short nap (which is no no) in the dust on the fireline, but then it was up and go after a few minutes. The mind and body become pretty stupid. That's when the trivia starts, to try to keep morale and spirits up. Name the entire Brady Bunch, or Seven Dwarfs, etc.
Stupid songs are made up. Anything to keep moving and going. Then you drag your butts back to camp and look at the new arrivals. And hope they make some progress. Eat, shower--if there is one, and collapse in your bed on the ground. Being a side sleeper, I always tried to make or find a hip hole in the ground for part of my "bed."

sounds like you have paid you dues out on the line,firefighting sure has a way of taking up all of your time,and us operators we got it pretty good,but we do take a beating on rocky terrain

 

[Roy M]

I should clarify a couple of things. We were working at the air base on the Shelter Bay fire near Garborville. I am sure the ground crews were working their tails off, I have been there and know full well what that is like, but we were not involved with them.
We had our S-61, an Erickson Skycrane and several National Air Guard Bell mediums. The big ships were being used for initial attack and the Huey's for spot fires and mop up. It seemed the military guys were treating it like a training exercise but in all fairness, they had absolutely no experience firefighting or long lining and there seemed no sense of urgency. We offered to help set up their bucket and refuelling station but they refused.

 

[redprospector]

Since this thread is titled "Humor in the Woods", and the talk has turned to fires......................
The last fire I worked on I was a faller, and stayed through the rehab. We were putting good size (for this area) trees across some draws that were prone to washing. We were told to limb them on the top and the uphill side, then the hand crews came in and stuffed the slash under them and put landscape cloth over them.
After the 1st rain they were doing fine, and catching a lot of silt. But it was time for a change of bosses. The new bosses decided that the way it was done was wrong, and the trees should be cut almost in half at their highest point off the ground so that they would be touching the ground all the way across the draw.
Everyone was complaining, but I decided what the heck, it all pay's the same.
Hand crews dug out silt and uncovered trees, and we went in and cut untill they touched the ground, and the hand crews recovered them. Someone said to look at the bright side, there would be some easy to get to firewood right next to the road after the next rain. Sure enough, it rained a couple of days later, and there was a big pile of Doug Fir, and Pine at the bottom of each draw right next to the road.

If it's working, it don't need to be redone.

Andy

 

[Metals406]

I have a funny story. . . Non fire related.

When we used to finish a set, and tare down to move over, a lot of the times it was at the end of the day. We'd pull the sky up, and be ready to move in the morning.

I worked on a three man crew, and we rotated. . . If you were down in the brush, you broke down. We'd often have competitions with the skyline. You'd hold on to the end of it, and see how many gears the yarder could grab.

I had the pleasure of breaking down at the end of a shift one day. I hollered over the radio that the sky was loose, and he could start reeling in. I think I got up to 3 or 4 gears, and man you are flying!

I was holding on to that skyline, running as fast as my legs would carry me. I got about halfway up the 1,000 foot set, and tripped. . . This is where it gets funny!

I was too blooming tired to walk the rest of the way, so I decided to just hold on. Right as I made that decision, I hear Dave grab another gear. . . As I was being dragged up the hill, I couldn't reach the radio to tell him to go slower.

I was being drug through piles of limbs, over stumps, rocks, etc. It didn't hurt per se--well--until later. The closer I got to the yarder, the more lift I got, and soon I was flying high. I finally got to the top and he lowered me to the ground.

I must have been quite the sight of scrapes and dirt. . . Cause all the guys started laughing their asses off! Dave came out'a the yarder, and asked me why I didn't just let go?? I said, "I wasn't walking that last 500' for nothin'!"

The whole crew laughed their butts off for quite a while on that one.

 

[Jaredm]

I heard a pretty good one the other day a guy was telling me he was up in the mountains near duncan bc and looking down some of the Macmillan Bloedel guy had clearcut "MacBlo" into the bush down below. This would have been probobly 20 years ago.

 

[slowp]

I think it was the East Wind that was blowing good today. I went over to check on the falling of trees for "lizard/bug/critter logs. One of the fallers missed their crew rig by a mere 6 feet. He had cut a tree, which hit a snag, which hit a snag (unintended domino effect) and landed in the road near the parked pickup.

I walked up just as they were finishing. The one guy pointed out that they were purposely planning the trees to land pointed to a food source for whatever little critter would use it. He said they were also cutting trees close to the little dens/holes so the little critters could step right out, climb on the tree and head for food.

I tried to ruin this story by pointing to a tree that had the butt portion hanging in the air about 3 feet. Without batting an eye, the other faller said, "That's for when there's deep snow." :greenchainsaw:

 

[bullbuck]

heard a story from back in the 80's,in this area they have threatened salamanders here,and apparently they migrate or whatever they do?so they guys on the logging crew thought it would be a good prank to use a core from a roll of carpet,cut it in two,and stuff one end on either side of the elevated road,and topped it off with little signs that said salamander x-ing,apparently the biologists crew passed through later that morning and did not find the humor in it,but i thought it to be hilarious!