Boys, I just want you to know, as of this very moment in time, I am now considered by multitudes, hosts and throngs of folks to be The Reigning Chapeene Of ALL The World Of All Chainsaw Chain Sharpeners Of All Time-- Bar None! I have been elevated to a new and sublime level of achievement and expertise achieved only by one mortal human being, Yours truly.
Soon, the crowds beseeching me for my extraordinarily expensive, esoteric and eclectic communications, instructions and legally qualified expert opinions and advice, will be hounding me, breaking down my door, even more than all my former wives and multitudes of children, grandchildren, great-grandchildren, great-great grandchildren, great-great-great grandchildren and their first, second, third and fourth cousins, aunts, uncles ad infinitum, combined, for a mere whiff of my genius.
WHY?
I, by hand, using my vast and concentrated study in this field, so sharpened a chain for my own personal chainsaw that wood got cut. Not much, no indeed. but a little did seem cutted. Not foolin. Do you have any idea what this means, what the implications are for such a miraculous demonstration of DIY ingenuity? It means, gentlemen, that not one moron or complete idiot or total doofus out there can continue to excuse himself from doing his own chainsaw chain sharpening. If I can make a tear in some wood, ANYBODY CAN SHARPEN CHAINS!!! I'm gonna save people millions of dollars.
I CAN'T BELIEVE IT. I WAS EXPECTINGT THE THING TO FLY OFF AND HIT ME IN THE HEAD. GLORY, BOYS. GLORY!!!