banshee67
Poulan Wild Thang
sounds like youre the only reasonable person in this "youth ministry group"
i would have just left
i would have just left
I have decided I am a heathen at heart.Forgive me!
- Thread starter avalancher
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blacklocst
ArboristSite Guru
If Avalancher wins the bet he might have to hand that box of doughnuts to that lady
avalancher
Arboristsite Raconteur
She really doesn't have a connection to the church, our youth ministry coordinator happened past her house some time ago and saw her laying on the lawn, passed out.Some type of freak occurrence with a new prescription drug.She felt sorry for the old gal after talking with her, and regularly sends her husband over to mow her lawn and take care of odd things around the place.
What prompted the cleanup was her homeowners insurance expired, and she dropped them after the rates went up drastically, and the new insurance company sent a rep out to photograph the place and had a cow at the condition it was in.Ivy grown all over the siding, etc and refused to cover her until it was cleaned up.
As for the sympathy, I neither posted expecting any, nor do I want any. #### like this happens all the time, and I expect it. What bothered me more than anything else was the feeling that I was the ONLY one that felt shafted in the deal, and kinda made me question my purity of heart. I always considered myself a helpful kinda guy with no thought of favors being returned, yet yesterday was another example of how I feel taken advantage of, and the others working just as hard were alright with it all.
I have tried most of my life to change how I deal with folks.I have always operated under the mode of, "I will help you out and be your friend, but the second you deliberately shaft me we are over.Your name goes in my little black book, and there are no going back with me.Shaft me by accident, out of ignorance, or just dont know any better, you had better apologize and I will keep an eye on you for awhile. If you continue to mess with me, I will look for an excuse to make you miserable." Not a real good way to live your life, I know.
I try and surround myself now with folks who are a little more forgiving, and I find it real puzzling.How much do you have to get screwed before you call it quits?I have no idea. While these folks are good people,it just appears to me that they are just asking to get screwed.Which leads me to question, "who is right here?"
Just think about it for a minute.We had six adults there, from all walks of life.A FedEX driver, a contractor, a businessman,a lawncare guy, a lawyer, and a retired truck driver.Twenty odd teenage kids, and me. Out of the whole bunch, I was the only one that felt screwed over, and thoroughly messed with.How in the hell could I be the one that had good enough judgement to say, "okay, enough is enough.No more work over here, this lady is taking us for a ride, and just wants free help because she wont pick up her trash and rake her yard.Its a sign of laziness, and in six months this place will look just as it did when we showed up.There is no helping lazy."
Cant help but think I had to be wrong here.Too many over on the other side of the fence.
TermiteBuffet
ArboristSite Guru
Avalancher, i feel your pain, i've got into similar situations helping via the church, others in the group know i have a short fuse for people who won't even try to help themselves, the group tells me that i need to do it for the right reason, it apparently doesn't matter to the group that we're helping a human sponge or vacuum , and nothing is good enough till you dang near adopt them. I ain't got no money to give them ,but i can work and they should at least try to help, at least bring a fellow a glass of water .People like that steal the joy i get from helping truly needy people out . Sorry for the rant. TB
Hedgerow
HACK
You may be on to something there... The others may not have been doing it for the lady's benefit. Maybe it was for someone else's....:msp_wink: Scratch a little deeper there Ed...
I think ProMac knows what I'm referring to...
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robfromaz1977
Addicted to ArboristSite
I agree with Promac that karma is real. Even though you feel like you got shafted on this deal, you will someday get paid back. I know how frustrating it can be to try and help someone that is taking the help for granted. I hope this doesn't sour you from helping others that may actually need the help. You sound like a great guy and someone who is a value to society.
and took a box,,of THEIR pizza,,on top of it..thats when the fire would have flew...........
take your politics,,to the politcal forum.........
Avalancher stop feeling guilty or bad you did nothing wrong at all but help what she did was inexcusable taking the pizza and gatoraide.I wish i had more people like you around not many want to work.
freemind
ArboristSite Guru
Avalancher, I think you are a good egg.
I am a Christian man too, and not ashamed to admit it. I don't attend church. Partially for this very reason.
I will go out of my way to help just about ANYONE in need. However like your example, I would have walked off MUCH sooner than you did.
I think you were alot more gracious than I could have mustered to be. I belive you are absolutely right on all your points of contention. The "older lady" showed absolutely NO grace or appreciation for the work you, and all the others have done.
To be honest, after a stunt like that, with all the blank stares and condecending replies from the others, I would have disassociated myself with the lot of them. Your time, like anyone else's, has value. Your skills have value. You were asked to put your business and financial well being at risk, fo the sake of her greed. That doesn't bode well with me.
I would in the least, not offer my "free" services in the future, unless I had discussed it with the one receiving the "free" services. I wouldn't let anyone goat rope you into another corner again and leave yourself feeling foolish.
I am a Christian man too, and not ashamed to admit it. I don't attend church. Partially for this very reason.
I will go out of my way to help just about ANYONE in need. However like your example, I would have walked off MUCH sooner than you did.
I think you were alot more gracious than I could have mustered to be. I belive you are absolutely right on all your points of contention. The "older lady" showed absolutely NO grace or appreciation for the work you, and all the others have done.
To be honest, after a stunt like that, with all the blank stares and condecending replies from the others, I would have disassociated myself with the lot of them. Your time, like anyone else's, has value. Your skills have value. You were asked to put your business and financial well being at risk, fo the sake of her greed. That doesn't bode well with me.
I would in the least, not offer my "free" services in the future, unless I had discussed it with the one receiving the "free" services. I wouldn't let anyone goat rope you into another corner again and leave yourself feeling foolish.
avalancher
Arboristsite Raconteur
Trust me, I dont feel guilty for feeling that way, just made me question if I am just to hardboiled or something.Stop and think about it.If you are with 25 plus different folks,and they all feel different than you do, wouldnt you wonder if you were the oddball?
I know I look at many things different than a lot of folks, and I can accept that.I figure if you ask me to come help, then I should be helping, not doing for you.you oughta be right out there pulling brush along with me.Only exception I take from that is if you flat out cant do it because of some physical limitations.
I have been exchanging a few emails from one of the guys that was there yesterday about the whole deal, he started the emails with, "hey, you gonna be out there on Saturday and help chip paint" and I flat out said I aint. I related again how I felt about the whole deal, and he was rather flabbergasted.As he put it, he thought i was just cranky after busting ass all day pulling brush.
Over the coarse of the day today, I tried to outline how I felt that I, along with everyone else, shouldn't be enabling a person to take advantage of a group of folks willing to help another, but he felt that this is a person who cant afford to maintain a property of that size.My response was, "Well, then she should move to a condo or an apartment. Property takes time and money to maintain, and even though I own property I wouldn't ask anyone to help me.If I couldn't take care of it, I would move to something that I could.
His response was more or less I need to take some time to think about it all, that nothing is more noble than helping another human being through some tough times.My response was this.
"Well, you know, I thought about that last night, and here is my spin. Almost a third of our time was spent hauling trash that had been thrown out into the backyard, and because I was curious I walked it off.It was 17 paces out into the woods for her to throw her trash at the furthest point. It was 14 paces out to the road where the county comes by and picks up trash.It was actually more work for her to haul the trash out into the woods than it was out to the curb. That flat out tells me that in six months the place will be exactly as we found it, and we will be back to pick it all up again."
His response?
"Well, that may be, but if that is the case then she wont have anyone to blame but herself.The right thing to do is help when and where we can.Are you serious?You actually measured it?Why?Are you looking for fault in someone?We can find fault in just about anyone.At least if we paint the place, that wont get undone, and we can drive by anytime we want and take some pride in what a difference we made in the place."
I replied,
"Well, if you want a nice place to drive by and see some difference, then come out to my place this weekend and paint my house.Its in good shape, we just hate the color. The yard is neatly taken care of, there is no trash, we take pride in how our place looks, and I can promise a nice clean bathroom for everyone, some burgers on the grill, and a cooler full of drinks for everyone. I will shake the hands of everyone when done, thank them from the bottom of my heart, and will even wear underwear.
On second thought, scratch that.I can paint my own house"
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Actually I would be the odd ball if I was there.Hey we are tree cutters not hair cutters dont worry about it man!!!You did good I dont know what all this other stuff is about can you explain better?Sounds to me like the Charity case is the Heathen!!!Would not give you some rusty old half of a tiller that you found buried in the vines that there is ridiculous just like the Gator aide and pizza BTW once she took the Gator Aide i would have left!
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You/I don't need your church to help you get ####ed on a charity/good deed..... We can do that on our own being considerate and kind.
You described ten other folks who were idiots, your daughter eventually understood, which is a plus.
Don't give up your religion, but work at saying no to requests- and only giving when its your idea....
You described ten other folks who were idiots, your daughter eventually understood, which is a plus.
Don't give up your religion, but work at saying no to requests- and only giving when its your idea....
25?
MAN! How did 25 like minded Churchies dupe you into all that work without you getting suspicious? Were they wearing disguises or was it a flash mob?
25 peoples worth of trees and brush through high weeds....
I mean, come on, you had to give that you knew some of these folks were light on their feet-
But, they had give in their heart, right?
Odd? Not really. Naive yes.
Wrong? No.
Find some new friends or at least say no.
mga
wandering
well, no matter what, avalancher, you are my hero.
you're a wise man with a good heart, so, at least feel good about that.
you're a wise man with a good heart, so, at least feel good about that.
TermiteBuffet
ArboristSite Guru
No one in that group should fault you ,or give you grief for the way you feel about the situation . You must stand up for your beliefs, and what you feel in correct..... Like the song says you've got to stand for something or you'll fall for anything.... I think you handled it very well ...You did what you promised ,,,,,nothing else owed TB
Sagetown
Farmer and a STIHL
avalancher; you stated you're a church goer. You profess Christianity. That puts you in candidacy for testing your character as a son of the Almighty. Those results give airs to your conscience, whether to be obedient to the Father's wishes or rebel against them. Think it no strange thing to come under such scrutiny. For a son will a father chastise that one day he can say " this is my son in whom I am well pleased."
Hang in there.:msp_tongue:
Hang in there.:msp_tongue:
Another possibility.
Being a true heathen, I listen to the evil NPR whilst driving. Today, they were taking phone calls from you poor folks east of us and one woman called to say that she was taking care of a grandma, but had a hard time herself as she was on medication that makes her very sensitive to heat and sunlight.
Perhaps the woman also had some psychological problems? That's the only explanation I could think of for the pizza taking.
Just as we should not think that people who look perfectly healthy should not use handicapped parking. There are lots of problems that may not be visible...like pain.
I will confess, while listening to you folks calling about how hot it is, I had the pickup heater on. Temps were in the 50s and we were having our winter drizzle.
Be careful in that heat and move slowly.
Being a true heathen, I listen to the evil NPR whilst driving. Today, they were taking phone calls from you poor folks east of us and one woman called to say that she was taking care of a grandma, but had a hard time herself as she was on medication that makes her very sensitive to heat and sunlight.
Perhaps the woman also had some psychological problems? That's the only explanation I could think of for the pizza taking.
Just as we should not think that people who look perfectly healthy should not use handicapped parking. There are lots of problems that may not be visible...like pain.
I will confess, while listening to you folks calling about how hot it is, I had the pickup heater on. Temps were in the 50s and we were having our winter drizzle.
Be careful in that heat and move slowly.
MiracleRepair
ArboristSite Guru
I would have to give you more credit than the rest of the adults there. They were there because they actually believed it was the christian thing to do. You, on the other hand, kept your word about helping even though you had figured out how the homeowner was. You even did more than you agreed to. I know many people who have never set foot in any kind of church who are the most charitable people you would ever want to meet. On the flip side, I see child molesters and thieves that go to church every sunday. Religion has no bearing on what type of person you are. You, by your actions have proven that you are a thoughtful and honorable person. You set out to help someone you thought truly needed it, but you feel like you bought a chinese knock off, at full husky price from your best friend on AS.:msp_rolleyes:
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