Is my Girlfriend a Moron...?
- Thread starter BlackenedTimber
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John Paul Sanborn
Above average climber
I skimmed the thread. Sounds like GF should be called affianced, FWIW. Also it sounds like she knows herself and does not feel she is suited for it.
Yes the Italian (Greek, Irish, Jewish or whatever dominate ethnic block dominates a local industry) thing does have a an influence on the politics, it is not necessarily a shady thing. Though you never know if there is a history. Maybe she is aware of a skeleton or two and does not want to discuss it? Probable? No, but possible.
Are you still with the utilities construction outfit, and hate it?
Doe future FIL trust you?
Could you move in and start taking the reins so that your wife could be moved in as a cardboard CEO when it is official?
Yes the Italian (Greek, Irish, Jewish or whatever dominate ethnic block dominates a local industry) thing does have a an influence on the politics, it is not necessarily a shady thing. Though you never know if there is a history. Maybe she is aware of a skeleton or two and does not want to discuss it? Probable? No, but possible.
Are you still with the utilities construction outfit, and hate it?
Doe future FIL trust you?
Could you move in and start taking the reins so that your wife could be moved in as a cardboard CEO when it is official?
gr8scott72
Addicted to ArboristSite
If you're not sure, the answer is NO!!!!
arbor pro
Addicted to ArboristSite
I can't blame you for thinking she's nuts at not jumping at this opportunity. I'd be thinging the same thing. However, ask yourself this - if she wasn't your girlfriend; rather, just a good friend who happens to be a girl - would you still be so adamant about her taking over dad's business if you didn't stand to reap the monetary rewards from it?
If she has a problem with responsibility then the best thing you can do for her is to encourage her to work harder to earn her own way. While taking over dad's business might be the quickest and easiest solution for you to get her to grow up and take some responsibility, it may not be the right path for her. You're probably drooling over the idea of owning and operating all that equipment and I don't blame you as I would likely be thinking the same but, think about what makes your GF happy. While owning a trucking business might bring her quick cash, will it bring her happiness and fulfill her dreams?
Maybe dad could sell some of that equipment and help finance her own restaurant if that's where her dreams lie? Has she thought about that option and approached her dad about it?
If she has a problem with responsibility then the best thing you can do for her is to encourage her to work harder to earn her own way. While taking over dad's business might be the quickest and easiest solution for you to get her to grow up and take some responsibility, it may not be the right path for her. You're probably drooling over the idea of owning and operating all that equipment and I don't blame you as I would likely be thinking the same but, think about what makes your GF happy. While owning a trucking business might bring her quick cash, will it bring her happiness and fulfill her dreams?
Maybe dad could sell some of that equipment and help finance her own restaurant if that's where her dreams lie? Has she thought about that option and approached her dad about it?
John Paul Sanborn
Above average climber
I guess that says it all, you both know that she is not up to the job. Daddy took care of her every need, now you do. She grew up expecting to become a well to do housewife, not a business woman.
Screw the gender preference work for now, talk to GFD and tell him you would love to take it over, slowly, so that it is only finalized after the wedding.
If you are posting a thread entitled, "is my GF a moron?", then I think you may have bigger issues than a trucking company. Show the lady more respect, and your future FIL might think you deserve the company yourself.
LOL I forgot all about that, let me clear my schedule. I was suppose to start a belly dancing class next week but that will have to wait now.
John Paul Sanborn
Above average climber
AI kinda felt that way too, but I took his age into consideration.
:agree2::agree2:
I doubt your GF is a moron. Sounds to me like she may have reasons you don't know about. If it really is lack of motivation then you need to be careful pushing her into it; she may drop the ball down the road, could just be setting her up to fail.
I know you didn't ask for opinions on this, but if she is good enough to be with for seven years you should have married her. Sounds like the GF isn't the only one who is unsure about what she wants in the future.
Mr. HE
I know you didn't ask for opinions on this, but if she is good enough to be with for seven years you should have married her. Sounds like the GF isn't the only one who is unsure about what she wants in the future.
Mr. HE
you're the moron
Sort of... She is supported by you and Daddy, and you think SHE is the moron? Why should she work so much harder in running a business when she's got you and Daddy there to support her?
Dude - after 7 years, s**t or get off the pot. Do that, and this issue will resolve itself.
Sort of... She is supported by you and Daddy, and you think SHE is the moron? Why should she work so much harder in running a business when she's got you and Daddy there to support her?
Dude - after 7 years, s**t or get off the pot. Do that, and this issue will resolve itself.
John Paul Sanborn
Above average climber
Wow, seven years? Yeah, get it over with. i think we were together seven months...but then we were in our early forties.
dingeryote
Blueberry Baron
She grew up in the businsess and knows full well what it entails.
Maybe she dosn't like or want any part of it for reasons she dosn't care to elaborate.
The $$$ might be there in spades, but obviously it dosn't mean everything to here.
Ever heard of a 3rd Generation septic service company owned and operated by a Woman? LOL!!
She might view it the same way.
Stay safe!
Dingeryote
Maybe she dosn't like or want any part of it for reasons she dosn't care to elaborate.
The $$$ might be there in spades, but obviously it dosn't mean everything to here.
Ever heard of a 3rd Generation septic service company owned and operated by a Woman? LOL!!
She might view it the same way.
Stay safe!
Dingeryote
Blakesmaster
Addicted to ArboristSite
This is a tough situation for sure. I've worked for family businesses my whole life and my serious relationships have both been with daughters of business owners and I've always envied their opportunities in life and am completely dumbfounded as to why neither daughter has invested their time and energy into their father's business and reaped the rewards. When daddy's in charge they have a carefree lifestyle full of options with a big safety net and you're asking them to give that up and work harder. She might be a dreamer that wants to scale everest, write a book, or visit every country on the planet and once you start running a business...sorry honey, you got commitments. Why would she want that? If daddy sells, she still has her safety net, a ####load of money and nothing to tie her down. Guys like you and me who came from nothing see more value in this than she ever could. Good luck chief.
TreeClimber57
Addicted to ArboristSite
Rather than trying to push her, have you tried to discuss it with her?
Why does she not want it. There must be a reason. Does she have unpleasant memories of it and her dad? Does she think it will keep the two of you apart, does she think it is too much work or headache? There must be some reason..
Get to bottom of it first or you will be sorry trying to push otherwise.
Once at bottom.. think long and hard. There may be a good reason then to try and change her mind, but at least you know where to begin.
Or, maybe if you get to the bottom.. you might change your mind!! Doubt it.. but none the less think it through.
From what you have said, I think it may be a good opportunity.. but think long and hard.
Another point.. does her dad want to give to her with no strings.. or will he keep his fingers in it.. that may be another issue she is worried about as well.
Good luck either way.
Why does she not want it. There must be a reason. Does she have unpleasant memories of it and her dad? Does she think it will keep the two of you apart, does she think it is too much work or headache? There must be some reason..
Get to bottom of it first or you will be sorry trying to push otherwise.
Once at bottom.. think long and hard. There may be a good reason then to try and change her mind, but at least you know where to begin.
Or, maybe if you get to the bottom.. you might change your mind!! Doubt it.. but none the less think it through.
From what you have said, I think it may be a good opportunity.. but think long and hard.
Another point.. does her dad want to give to her with no strings.. or will he keep his fingers in it.. that may be another issue she is worried about as well.
Good luck either way.
arbor pro
Addicted to ArboristSite
If she's a democrat, that would explain everything and no more would need to be said on the subject.
BlackenedTimber
ArboristSite Operative
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After intense discussion today with my girlfriend, and her father, this is where we are at:
My GF will be taking over control of 2 trucks (Pete tractors and 35-yd East dump trailers) within the next month. I am going to help her with the field operations (which will be minimal, given its only 2 trucks) and her father will be guiding her in regard to the day-to-day operations. She will be setting up meetings with the SBA to get her WBE status and 8A certifications set up, allowing her to take on govt and municipal contracts.
She, her name is Gina, is going to give the 2 trucks a shot, and see what she thinks. Gina is gradually becoming more open to the idea, but I think what worries her the most is the responsibility, and more so the chance for failure. I think she is also realizing that although she may not be head over heels about owning some trucks, those trucks can potentially make her the money that she would need to persue other business ventures about which she is passionate, ie: the restuarant biz.
As for ####ting or getting of the pot, we are planning on starting a family and getting hitched. The only thing that has kept us from doing this thus far is the fact that I work over the road, and have rarely been home in the last few years. As some of you may know, I have been employed for the last 3 years a Project Manager, building renewable energy and transmission projects around the country. Recently, due to a cancer scare on my part (thought it was colon cancer, but its not...) and a slow-down in work on the company's part, I have been laid off for the winter season. This has allowed me to get back into the tree biz (which I am happy about) while still keeping my options open for the power industry, and hopefully having some new options with this trucking biz coming to fruition. Living on the road is a really stressful thing for me, and we are not always kind to one another when I am gone. However, when we are together, things are good, real good, and we are working towards developing a lifestyle that will allow me to be around alot more often. Besides that, I dont want to end up being the daddy that never sees his kids because he is halfway around the globe 11.5 months out of the year. Its not fair to her, and not fair to our future children.
I have worked for her father previously, for about 2 years, running all types of projects big and small, and he knows what I am capable of. He has told me that my involvement gives him an elevated level comfort with the idea of his daughter taking over his business.
As for on the home front, my girlfriend is going to be taking over half of all of the bills, once she gets the ball rolling with the trucks and has some MCI (a fancy term for "money coming in").
Overall, its amazing what a difference 24 hours makes. Things are looking up, and I am thankful for that.
I appreciate everyone's input, good, bad, or indifferent. As far as referring to my girfriend as a moron, well, I don't mean to offend her or anyone else, I was just having trouble fathoming how anyone could turn down such an opportunity. She and I have a good relationship, and we playfully harrass one another all the time, calling each other things far worse than "moron"...
Again, thanks to everyone for the input.
Stihl-O-Matic, where's that belly-dancing class bro? I gotta hit that up...
My GF will be taking over control of 2 trucks (Pete tractors and 35-yd East dump trailers) within the next month. I am going to help her with the field operations (which will be minimal, given its only 2 trucks) and her father will be guiding her in regard to the day-to-day operations. She will be setting up meetings with the SBA to get her WBE status and 8A certifications set up, allowing her to take on govt and municipal contracts.
She, her name is Gina, is going to give the 2 trucks a shot, and see what she thinks. Gina is gradually becoming more open to the idea, but I think what worries her the most is the responsibility, and more so the chance for failure. I think she is also realizing that although she may not be head over heels about owning some trucks, those trucks can potentially make her the money that she would need to persue other business ventures about which she is passionate, ie: the restuarant biz.
As for ####ting or getting of the pot, we are planning on starting a family and getting hitched. The only thing that has kept us from doing this thus far is the fact that I work over the road, and have rarely been home in the last few years. As some of you may know, I have been employed for the last 3 years a Project Manager, building renewable energy and transmission projects around the country. Recently, due to a cancer scare on my part (thought it was colon cancer, but its not...) and a slow-down in work on the company's part, I have been laid off for the winter season. This has allowed me to get back into the tree biz (which I am happy about) while still keeping my options open for the power industry, and hopefully having some new options with this trucking biz coming to fruition. Living on the road is a really stressful thing for me, and we are not always kind to one another when I am gone. However, when we are together, things are good, real good, and we are working towards developing a lifestyle that will allow me to be around alot more often. Besides that, I dont want to end up being the daddy that never sees his kids because he is halfway around the globe 11.5 months out of the year. Its not fair to her, and not fair to our future children.
I have worked for her father previously, for about 2 years, running all types of projects big and small, and he knows what I am capable of. He has told me that my involvement gives him an elevated level comfort with the idea of his daughter taking over his business.
As for on the home front, my girlfriend is going to be taking over half of all of the bills, once she gets the ball rolling with the trucks and has some MCI (a fancy term for "money coming in").
Overall, its amazing what a difference 24 hours makes. Things are looking up, and I am thankful for that.
I appreciate everyone's input, good, bad, or indifferent. As far as referring to my girfriend as a moron, well, I don't mean to offend her or anyone else, I was just having trouble fathoming how anyone could turn down such an opportunity. She and I have a good relationship, and we playfully harrass one another all the time, calling each other things far worse than "moron"...
Again, thanks to everyone for the input.
Stihl-O-Matic, where's that belly-dancing class bro? I gotta hit that up...
John Paul Sanborn
Above average climber
If the chick goes for a guy with full sleeves, then she probably has heard worse, oh and daddy is in trucking?
I doubt your GF is a moron. Sounds to me like she may have reasons you don't know about. If it really is lack of motivation then you need to be careful pushing her into it; she may drop the ball down the road, could just be setting her up to fail.
I know you didn't ask for opinions on this, but if she is good enough to be with for seven years you should have married her. Sounds like the GF isn't the only one who is unsure about what she wants in the future.
Mr. HE
Its better to have tried and failed, then to never try at all.
Lawnmowerboy48
ArboristSite Operative
PM I will be more than happy to take over the business.
