Lambertized? Beware!!

[dbabcock]

So anyway, John's off on a tear lamenting about how the weather's messed up his harvesting workflow, or lack thereof. He says that he's been examining the work that our man Ken has Dunn to several of his saws and has figured out that it's no big deal. Well, he boasts the he's smart, so he's going to start off slow and just do simple things to saws to "get his quad wet" and gradually work up to full blown monsters to eventually challenge the master himself. In a moment of double vision sympathy, I agree to send him the big boy. He promised that he wouldn't touch the insides other than a quick inspection and that I'd get the saw back with some external mods that would make the saw even better. Because the information gleened would be value added for him, he stated that he wouldn't be charging me his "usual" $100 per hour ($3.50 per hour US). This is what I got back...

 

[dbabcock]

So obviously, when I get the saw back I'm sober and furious. I called him that night and he was shocked that I would be so angry with his "gift" of machining down my 24" bar to a more "East Coast-Like" 6 inch .325 "competition" unit. After listening to many and varied excuses and burps he agreed to make it right. I'd have to pay the shipping, but he'd make it right.
Well I got it back today after a month.

I give up...

 

[Gypo Logger]

Hey Doug, sorry about the misunderstanding, but I thought you wanted a debarker for when you built your cabin. Since it was a prototype I included, at no extra charge, the hedge trimmer attachment with shoulder strap. Boy its hard to get good customers over the net!
Anyway, just to show you that I am a decent sort, i will be sending you my new invention so you can test it out. It comes with both a pusher and puller type propellor. This baby not only keeps sawdust out of your teeth, but it scatters mosquitoes and blackflies as well, however in balmy weather use the puller prop as it has quite the airconditioning effect.
For your very own Gyrosaw, please send 249.99 U.S. to:
Humphry Dumbrouski
Box 3,
Saskatchewan, Canada

 

[Methoss084]

you guys are to much!

 

[Kevin]

A guy I work with has a home built ultra light that looks a bit like that.
He say a parachute weighs too much so he just wears a body bag when he`s flying it.

 

[Dennis]

If I could just have half of the time (or is that alcohol?)you guys put into these posts..and half of the time it takes Gyro to type them..(which is an hour each)...I would never be pressed for time...

I am going to have to come up with something.....

Ps John...loved the "chainsaw"

-Time flies like an arrow
Fruit flies like a banana.

 

[kdhotsaw]

porting problems

Hello Doug,
Before you run your 3120 husky you just got back from john you may want to wear extra safety gear. I got a call from john and he was asking all kinds of questions about engine porting. said he had a big husky he wanted to port and how should he go about it and this was his first attempt at enging modifications. I told him if he just increased the duration on all the ports 1/4 of a inch it should run better. also told him to increase the compression and lower the squish, hope he does'nt get this backwards. also sent him my dremel, some carbide bits, a file and a copy of porting for dummies. I think john will do ok but wear some extra safety gear when you run the saw.
ken

 

[tony marks]

just cut the s--t an tellus where to order them ..

 

[dbabcock]

Ken,
I hear ya bud! That John is a handful, but at least he means well. Someone once mentioned that Lambo might actually be from another planet. I wonder if it's the same as Roger's and mine?

 

[Gypo Logger]

Hi Ken, thanks for the starter kit you sent me for doing motor mods. I especially like the book you sent about porting.
I am glad Doug liked the work I did for him on his saws. He didnt mind that they are only gauranteed for 7.5 seconds.
Anyway, the motors are coming along fine and here's a picture of the head I am working on now. I figured I would add a pipe that would have some resonance for the times I go Elk hunting.
P.S. I appreciate the Nevr Dull compound you sent me for my self sharpening chain.
Thanks Ken,
John

 

[kdhotsaw]

lambert's tool kit

hello john,
glad to see you read the book. dougs first barrel that you have in the photo doesn't too good but that was your first attempt to lighten a 3120 barrel. I'm sure your second attempt was a lot better.
ken

 

[Dennis]

John...glad to see you are starting out on the left foot...Ken did a great favor to the saw builders of the world by sending you that kit...there are more builders like yourself needed out there.

Ken I thought you were keeping the nevr dull a secret between us??? Now I am going to have go dig out a rusty old file and sharpen my chain to beat John..

 

[Gypo Logger]

Hey Dennis I got it all figured out after reading Kens book and the kit he sent, but I had to call him at least 15 times today with questions, so i could get Dougs 066 just right.
Here's how far the saw has come as we speak:
1: I lined up the finger ports with the quad loops.
2: honed out the boost ports
3: filled the auxillary ports with JB weld and rehoned so the duration would advance the timing on the intake stroke.
4: I decreased the duration by 1/4".
5: decreased the compression and raised the squish factor by 2:1.
Anyway, it should be one wicked saw when I am thru, but Babcock better not be shy when I send him the invoice.
Oh by the way, can I borrow your degree wheel for a bit? I clumbsily broke the one that came with the kit when the dremel got loose at 33,000 rpm.
Thanks in Advance,
JD Hotsaw.

 

[firedoctor]

No wonder you guys are all "Senior Members". Do you ever have time to actually go out and cut wood, or does that cut into posting time?

 

[Gypo Logger]

Hi there, i think some of us Log in more than we log out, ie.- cut wood, however Darin may make a ruling that one cannot log out in order to save the trees. If Darin lets us mention other forums we can get more members by 'cross pollenating'.
John

 

[dbabcock]

I don't buy that 33000 RPM load of excrement for 1 nanosecond, Lambert. Robyn just called to tell me you were using my 066 L for edge trimming her sidewalk using the degree wheel for a blade. I can't for the life of me understand why you would ruin a completely good wheel running it through dirt and rocks when you're perfectly adept at doing the same thing with your Art Martin chain.

Also, I specifically told you that I wanted a 2.73:1 squish ratio and to do that you'd have to stuff the dome and fly cut the piston. Secondary flame front propagation would suffer, but on alcohol you don't have to worry as much about that. Certainly not as long as the alcohol is grain rather than isopropyl.

I also think you are mis-stating the units for duration. In this case, duration is not represented in a lineal distance such as inches, but in time, as in anything greater the 7.5 seconds.

Jeez, will you get your mierda together already?

El burro sabe mas que tu.

 

[Dragoon]

Hi Firedoctor,

Well, if you listen to some of the guys long enough, and read between the lines, "What do you think I'm doing with my other hand" comes to mind.

Can you say "2-stroke Laptop"? Do JR's or Stihl's come with Pentium 4's yet?

Sean

 

[dbabcock]

Firedoctor and Dragoon,

Actually, the only stroking I do is pen strokes writing checks to a certain inept saw mechanic in Toronto. Other than that, I do sometimes work, but mostly mindless stuff. I really don't know anything about saws, computers or anything mechanical or technical. I'm basically unmotivated and boring in real life. Lately, however, I've found that I've become somewhat interested in numbers and math for some reason. Why don't you guys drop me a line sometime so I can bounce some ideas off you in regard toward my present thoughts about skew-symetric tensors. Interesting stuff for sure, but it has no place taking up space on this board.

 

[Dragoon]

Doug,

You talk about your motivation & work habbits like they are abnormal. You are merely providing further analytic data supporting the Laws of Inertia. As for your cheque writing, I have always felt that I never actually have any money at all, I'm just holding some for somone else. (Usually the Revenue Canada)
Look on the bright side, you do end up with some functional bark strippers, and power spades, so all is not lost. There may be a booming market for exhibition shows using those short bar, eastern nail clippers that I see so proudly posted every now and then.

As for the math thing, well...... they say it's good to have a hobby.

Cheers, & keep the pointy end forward!

 

[Gypo Logger]

Hi Doug, how's it going? I must appologize for being so hammer fisted with the 066L, but it was my first saw and I think it has more sentimental value than practical use.
Robyn got things turned around. I was using an Art Martin chain to trim around her rose bushes but as usual i had it on backwards and applied some Never Dull as prescribed by Dunn.
Regardless, I am exercising more of a light touch on your next motorsycle dirt bike cylinder, so you need not worry this time.
Anywho, could you issue me a check in advance for the work?
I would think that 2000$ U.S. should suffice. There is a money back unlimited gaurantee on all my work, plus you get to keep the motor.
Please send funds to: John David Lambert Box 74 ballinafad Ontario Canada N0B1H0