Well.. I guess that I should start with my own story.
"Back in the day", which wasn't really that long ago, We were cutting down Ash trees in the GTA ( Toronto), that had been infected by the Asian Ash Beetle. Once we had a job set up, and the crew was working, I'd take my partner and walk the neighbourhood looking for work. We came across a 3 acre property that had at least 20 plus Ash trees on it, so we went up and banged on the door. Out comes this old guy.. older than Christ's diapers, and we proceed to dance.
It started out O.K... We realized that we'd have to explain stuff to him, and give him price and service options. It went well at first, then he proceeded to keep moving the goal posts. Every time he moved the "goal posts", we had to re-calculate the quote.
First it was a complete job.. Drop the trees, not damage the lawn, remove all brush, split the wood and pile it .. grind the stumps and sod. Then it was drop the trees, damage the lawn, remove all brush, and leave the stumps at 6 inches.. Etc.. etc.. etc.. We'd been there over an hour, and I'd had enough of his crap. I'm giving my partner the hand signs to just let it go, leave him a card and to call when he was serious about dealing with the issue. Randy wasn't having it.. He was determined to land the fish. And truthfully, what we were quoting him wasn't putting huge payday on our plate. We realized that, for a homeowner to suddenly have an unexpected bill for tree removal, for 20K to 30 K, was a bit of a kick, and it wasn't covered by insurance.
Usually, I've got a ton of patience, but, when I get to the end of my rope, yeah.. I can be a ****. The straw that broke the camels back, was when he looked at me and asked me "How long does it take to drop a tree?".. I couldn't believe it! I asked him what he would do with the trees once I dropped them. His answer was " Well, I've got a chainsaw, I'll just deal with it myself."..
Seriously, the guy was probably in his mid 70s'.. He had the look and build to him like he'd never dealt with anything heavier than a calculator. I asked him what kind of chainsaw.. Maybe I mis-judged him.. " Oh, it's a corded electric"
I'm giving Randy the hand signals to " let's get out of here." Nope.. Randy still wants to dance with this idiot.. Darn..
The tipping point was when he said.. " Show me how long it takes you to drop a tree. Maybe I'd be better off just to pay you by the hour to drop them." I bit my tongue, and pretended to walk around a bit, looking at the 20 plus trees, as if I was trying to make up a new quote for him. Inside, I was seething. I was , at this point, planning revenge.
There was one Ash tree near his driveway. A good 70 to 80 ft tall. He had a circular driveway in front of his house, and there was a decent gap between the house and the garage. His Mercedes was more towards the house, in the circular section of the driveway . I smiled and looked at him, and said " You know, that's fair.. I've never been paid just to drop them and go away.".
I walked over to the truck, and got out the Echo 590.. The look on Randy's eyes was priceless. I sparked it up, and lined up the big Ash.. Yup.. Drop it right, and it would miss the house, miss the garage, and seal his Mercedes in the driveway.
I could see Randy giving me the "no" sign, but at that point, I just didn't care.. at all.. Tossed the face cut in, popped out the chunk, and then flipped over to the felling cut. I got far enough into it, that I knew it was ready to go. As soon as I heard the first "snap , crackle , pop." I pulled the saw out of the cut. The old dude just kinda looked at me like " Well .. now what..?. I waved Randy over towards me, so that he'd be on my side of the tree, when it went down... leaving the homeowner on the house side of the tree.
I yelled at the homeowner.. " Ya might not wanna stand there!" You could hear the trunk starting to go. Not 30 seconds later, down she comes.. One of my better aims.. didn't hit the house.. didn't hit the garage.. didn't hit the Mercedes..
But.. here we were.. Me and Randy, standing on one side of this exploded Ash tree, and his sorry butt on the other.. His Mercedes wasn't leaving the driveway until that tree got removed. Sweet!!
Back to the truck, with the 590 in my hand, and Randy in hot pursuit.. We left like our butts were on fire. Homeowner was still in the driveway, with an open mouthed gape.. LMFAO
The old dude was still standing there in disbelief, as we bailed for the road.. Randy was like " He's gonna call the cops, we're gonna get sued!!." Nope".. I said.. He asked us to drop a tree, to "see how long it took." We didn't damage anything, we did as he requested for free, as in he wanted to see how long it took to drop a tree.
We never heard another word about it.. But, about three weeks later, we had the occasion to pass by that property on the way to another job.. There was some old Chinese guy up on a ladder, wearing flip flops, what looked like his wife and two kids on the ground who looked like they were maybe 12 to 14 years old, cleaning up what Dad had cut.. Gotta wonder what they quoted him.
But.. never heard another word about dropping a biggie across his driveway..
So.. What's the worst you've ever done to an idiot client??
