# PLS READ: Should make you laugh till you pee!



## gumneck (Dec 6, 2005)

http://cgi.ebay.com/CLIMBING-BELT-S...642858955QQcategoryZ26261QQrdZ1QQcmdZViewItem

If the link doesn't work heres the cut and paste version. I like this guy, he has a great sense of humor. Didn't know which forum to put it in so move if you must.

OK, HERE IS THE HISTORY ON THESE.FIRST, I AM 56 YRS OLD. I KNOW, I SHOULD KNOW BETTER.STORY AS FOLLOWS> I BURN WOOD DURING THE WINTER. I HAVE PLENTY OF TREES ON MY PROPERTY. IT IS A VERY THICK WOODS AND THE TREES HAVE LIMBS PRETTY HIGH UP. I HAVE BEEN ABLE TO USE A THROW LINE ON THE ONES I HAVE CUT DOWN. THERE ARE SOME REAL TALL ASH THAT I REALLY WANTED TO CUT DOWN. TO TALL FOR MY OLD ARM FOR A THROW LINE AND WERE LEANING TOWARD SOME OF MY BUILDINGS. I THEN THOUGHT BACK TO MY CHILD HOOD OF THE LOCAL TELEPHONE MAN GOING UP AND DOWN THE POLES WITH HIS CLIMBING GEAR. LOOKED EASY TO ME, SO I ORDERED ABOVE ITEMS. I EVENTUALLY FIGURED OUT HOW TO PUT THEM ON, AND STARTED TO PRACTICE ON SOME TREES. WELL, IT WAS'NT AS EASY I THOUGHT. I LOOKED LIKE A TWO-TOED SLOTH GOING UP THE TREE AND EVEN WORSE COMING DOWN.I PUT THESE IN STORAGE FOR SOME YEARS. ABOUT A MONTH AGO I HAD SOME LAND CLEARED TO MAKE WAY FOR ANOTHER BUILDING. I TOLD THE GUY TO LEAVE THE ASH TREES, THAT I WANTED TO GET THESE CUT DOWN SOMEDAY FOR FIREWOOD.WELL, AFTER INQUIRING AROUND ON PRICES TO CUT THESE ASH TREES DOWN AND BEING THE TIGHTASS THAT I AM, I DECIDE TO BREAK OUT ABOVE ITEMS AND PRACTICE A COUPLE MORE TIMES. NOT PRETTY, BUT I THOUGHT IF I TAKE MY TIME AND BE CAREFUL I COULD DO IT. UP THAT TALL ASH I WENT STOPPING TO CATCH MY BREATH ALONG THE WAY,SWEAT POURING OFF OF ME LIKE RAIN. I FINALLY MADE IT, ELATED, I TIED MY CABLE TO THE TREE HIGH ENOUGH TO BE ABLE TO PULL IT BACKWARDS AWAY FROM MY BUILDINGS. I WAS VERY PROUD OF MYSELF, AND COULD'NT WAIT TO TELL MY WIFE HOW MUCH OF A MAN I WAS. OK, I START DOWN THE TREE,SLOW BUT STEADY. I DON'T KNOW WHAT IN THE HELL HAPPEN NEXT, I FIND MYSELF FREE FALLING, IT FELT LIKE I DROP 100FT, ALTHOUGH MORE LIKE 10. AFTER I STOPPED FALLING, I JUST HUNG THEREFOR AWHILE TO GAIN MY COMPOSURE. MY KNUCKLES WERE SKINNED, MY FACE WAS SKINNED, MY BEER BELLY WAS SKINNED,THANK GOD THE BELLY STUCK OUT FAR ENOUGH TO KEEP MY GONADS FROM BEING SKINNED ALSO. NEEDLESS TO SAY I DID'NT TELL THE WIFE THE TRUTH ABOUT THE RASH BURN ON MY FACE AND KNUCKLES. I FELT BAD ENOUGH, WITHOUT HER TELLING ME HOW CHILDESS AND STUPID I WAS. ANYWAY, THERE IT IS. PLEASE FEEL FREE TO ASK ANY QUESTIONS, I WILL BE HAPPY TO RESPOND.


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## begleytree (Dec 6, 2005)

Thats pretty good.
I'll leave it here for some discussion about proper spur technique
-Ralph


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## skwerl (Dec 6, 2005)

We need a permanent link to this for every homeowner or landscraper that comes on here asking "what kind of gaffs should I buy to cut down trees?"


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## Dadatwins (Dec 6, 2005)

Sweet lesson learned, I am glad the guy did not get hurt and lived to tell the warning to others, Now if they would only listen.


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## chicken89 (Dec 6, 2005)

would that be a good belt to purchase? i only have an old utility linesman belt that my grandpa gave me. i am looking for an inexpensive belt to do housework with. i did not see utility loops along the back? is it possible to make some?


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## fpyontek (Dec 6, 2005)

Gumneck, great post. Besides being lucky, the guy is a good storyteller.

I wonder if someone could get a screen shot of the Ebay listing and post it in the Homeowner Forum.

Fred


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## fmueller (Dec 7, 2005)

My Gawd, like I said some of these posts would be good for a comedy show or stand up. A stand up tree climber??? no this guy was apparently a fall down tree climber. Arrgh.


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## jamie (Dec 7, 2005)

and to think had he got a climbing line to come down on he may still be trying to kill himself.

jamie


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## NickfromWI (Dec 7, 2005)

What are you guys talking about? That shows exactly why you SHOULD try to do it yourself. He accomplished what he wanted for a mere fraction of the cost that the pros wanted to do the same thing. He did things horribly wrong and only sustained minor injuries.

That listing says, "don't hire a pro, use this stuff like I did and do it yourself and save tons of money!"

love
nick


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## notahacker (Dec 26, 2005)

That was good.


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## BlackenedTimber (Jan 10, 2006)

atleast this guy realizes that there is a need for people like us. I have been called out on several occasions where the tree (or trees in some instances) have already been felled by the homeowner.... directly onto thier house, or boat, or SUV (note to self... land rovers are not tree proof...) ... point is, at least this guy gets it.


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## OutOnaLimb (Jan 12, 2006)

I have seen Harry Homeowner do some pretty bone headed things. My fav was watching this bone head with a extention ladder and a Sawz All to take down some spindly elms That were right next to the power lines on his property. I was across the street taking down a huge storm damaged elm, always trying to keep an eye on this guy just incase something went wrong.

Kenn


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