# Tree Machine, one week deal



## Tree Machine

My wife is going house hunting in Florida, leaving Wednesday, April 20, coming back April 27. During that time I'll be here in Indianapolis doing my normal tree work, probably working 6 or 7 days straight.

I'm a one-man operation, and I don't really need help, but I thought it might be fun to have an apprentice for a week. I haven't had a helper since about the middle of last Summer.

The ideal guy would be someone motivated to (currently or eventually) running their own business. I'll be doing all the climbing, your responsibility during the day will be picking up sticks (I'm not going to sugar-coat it). 

You don't need any gear, just a few days change of clothes. Actually, you could come with nothing and we'll get you all you need at the local thrift shop, about two minutes from here.

You should want to come for the instruction; customer relations, doing estimates, record keeping, contact tracking, some gear maintenence, sharpening, etc., recycling of all wood material, clean-up strategies and, of course, everything from fine pruning ornamentals to hairy scary technical aerial work. PPE will be provided.

Don't come for the pay, it's only $15 an hour, figure 10 hour days, for 6 of the 7 days. You should be passionate about trees and tree care and want to start your own tree business as a solo / small-team operation when you go back home. This would be a fast-track business training with a core of actual tree operations. It's feasable to even have two guys in for the week, though we'd have to get more beer. You'd be staying here at Casa de Tree Machine and we eat well. We'll need to go canoeing part of one day (tree pruning from a boat in swift current), hunt (yellow) morels if it would hopefully rain (part of the canoe trip), and Thursday morning we deliver food to homeless shelters. Other than that, it's 100% tree work

WHERE TO START: Reply here, tell us why you feel this one-week stretch would benefit your future in arboriculture. Sell me on what's in it for me (remember, I've got a business to run). Tell us what you're doing now, and what you hope to learn. Also (insider tip) play on the fact that I'm all about making the work as fun and entertaining as is humanly possible and you're more likely to get an invite.

It doesn't need to be a full 7 days either. It can be 2, 3, 5, whatever. Like I say, I don't particularly need help, I just want to stir it up a bit and have some fun. You just have to leave before Elizabeth gets back.

The application process starts now. GO!http://www.arboristsite.com/attachment_22876.php


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## Old Monkey

Tree Machine said:


> My wife is going house hunting in Florida, leaving Wednesday, April 20, coming back April 27. During that time I'll be here in Indianapolis doing my normal tree work, probably working 6 or 7 days straight.
> 
> I'm a one-man operation, and I don't really need help,.......
> ...... Like I say, I don't particularly need help, I just want to stir it up a bit and have some fun. You just have to leave before Elizabeth gets back.
> 
> The application process starts now. GO!http://www.arboristsite.com/attachment_22876.php



So one of us lucky dudes gets to be Elizabeth for a week? What other responsiblities will we have at Casa de Tree Machine? :Eye: :Eye:


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## Tree Machine

Old Monkey said:


> So one of us lucky dudes gets to be Elizabeth for a week?


That is not exactly what I had in mind.

One guy called me today and left a message that went something like this: "Hey Tree Machine, I'll come in and work with you for a week. I'd love to get $15 an hour to go canoeing."

This also is not what I had in mind, although I have always paid my guys if they're expecting to work and I change the plan. I'm very fair that way.

Other responsibilities.... if the ice cream truck comes down the street and I'm up in the tree, it would be your job to flag him down. That's the only company rule; Ice Cream Man comes, we stop work and the boss buys the treats. 

I've never been real big on rules, so I figure if I have to make them, then they might as well be cool rules.


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## MasterBlaster

Hahahaa. This is gonna be good.


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## texasnative

Working with trees is almost as fun as canoeing. Sounds like a week that I could benefit from, as I am, for the most part, a struggling one man band. Firing my wife and getting divorced have broken me in more ways than one. The timing is off, though, as I have responsibilities here in East Texas that I cannot get away from (living on a farm, owner going on vacation), such as fishing, hunting mushrooms, gotta prune two water oaks, many white oak seedlings to transplant, and there are alot of critters to feed. If it were week after next....


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## Chris J.

*Wish that there had been more notice.*

I don't know what your response would've been, but it sure sounds interresting.

What you describe sounds just about like something I've been thinking about trying to put together. Work outdoors  , look/listen/learn :Eye: , get paid as well  , & get away from my routine existance  for a week or so. Hmmm.....


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## Tree Machine

Texasnative, I'm sorry bout your exspousal unit. That's never any fun for either side. The following week would be less than ideal. Elizabeth would be back, and we couldn't be party boys at night.

Knot Whole, it'd be great to have you up here and get you out of your routine existence..... wait a minute.... routine existence? I'm getting the feeling that you're not a treeguy. That's one of the benefits of our profession; it's anything but routine. No two trees the same, no two properties the same, no two clients the same, a job for any mood. 

If anyone is pricing flights, come in early early morning or at night and I'll come get ya. During the day, I'll pay your shuttle or cab to the jobsite and I'll keep a cell phone on me up in the trees.

Looks like some blessed rain tonight, which will make the yellow morels pop. It's that time. We just need to get the ground good and soaked.

Come play in my hardwood wonderland!


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## Tree Machine

texasnative said:


> I am, for the most part, a struggling one man band.


This is what I'm hoping for, noobs who really want to establish themselves as a profitable business. If you're struggling, you shouldn't be. We can straighten that out. We just isolate where it is you're having problems and we go to problem-solving.

Starting up a business properly shouldn't be a struggle. You shouldn't have to suffer, not with a resource like Arboristsite here to answer any question you could possibly have. Ideally, if you are clueless and deficient in whatever area, you'd see how I do it, first-hand, and go home and do it better.

I'm pulling together some <i>really</i> cool jobs. Also, I just did a major job for the local brewpub, and my tab there is at a record high. Treating you to dinner and beer is the only way I can knock it down at least into the three-figure range.


OK, I'm buying the ice cream, and treating you to dinner and brewskies, and taking you through all aspects of the business, and offering to pay you to go canoeing with me and hunt mushrooms.

The benefits are stacking up. I'm putting an opportunity out there, but I'm not begging. All I want is to have more fun than I otherwise would  

Elizabeth leaves tomorrow morning, April 20. I've almost forgotten how Bachelors live.


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## Tree Machine

Ya don't have to be a noob, either. You seniors could come in and teach me stuff. I've been meaning to learn a bowline, and I know some day, just for fun, I'd like to actually climb with a Blakes hitch, or a distel. I know how to tie those, but have politely passed on actually using them in a tree.

Tom Dunlap, why don't you come in? That would be fun. You're a swift climber and good with a Silky. Maybe I could be the ground guy. Now <i>that</i> would be an experience for me. I have been groundguy for another climber only twice in my life, and that was about 12 years ago when I was an ultra-noob. 

Master Blaster, why don't you come up and do a few climbs for me? I promise I won't heckle you from the ground.  

Brits and Swedes would be awesome. Kiwi climbers WELCOME. Aussies, come take a working vacation. Teach me how to drink beer like a Big Dog, Woo Hooo! BTA; Bachelor Treeguys Anomynous.


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## Chris J.

*Tree Machine:*

I'm certain that you would've received many more replies if you'd given some more planning time. Sounds like you're wanting tree guys, newbies or experienced. Maybe the next time that your wife heads south you could give a little more advance notice? 

Just some comments from a harry homeowner weekday desk jockey weekend warrior saw mechtech wannabe.


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## MasterBlaster

Tree Machine said:


> Master Blaster, why don't you come up and do a few climbs for me? I promise I won't heckle you from the ground.



Heckle away, I'll have my earplugs in. I would like to meet and work with all the regular members here, that would be neat. If I was younger, I just might do that, but in my old age I wanna sleep in my same bed every night.

Hey! Enjoy that bachelor's life for a week, eh?


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## Tree Machine

I can agree with Knot Whole, maybe some more advance notice would've helped, but there's still lots of time, I take her to the airport this morning. It was sort of a spontaneous idea, Elizabeth's actually. She thinks if I have help, I'm more likely to actually work, which is true. She worries about me during morel season because I get a lot of calls to lead forays, and i'll just go out by myself at the drop of a hat. She's been with me on big finds and knows that all priorities get shelved if the mushroom hunting is good.

Also, all our caving friends know she's leaving and she's rightly concerned that I'll go camping and drop some big pits over the weekend with my buddies. Then there's a couple home projects I've got going; installing the marble mosaic floor in my outdoor shower and the final trim phase of a timberframe deck I put up last year. Then there's the noises I've been making about going and buying a MIG welder (set up for Aluminum) and bustin out a long talked about project. Then there's the canoe thing and of course, the time I spend here at Arboristsite

Basically, she's afraid I won't work while she's gone. I just got slammed with taxes and insurances and like all of you, I'm perpetually chasing the bills. A helper would ensure I actually do some tree work in the next week. Smart girl.


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## vharrison2

Tree Machine said:


> My wife is going house hunting in Florida,.
> 
> 
> 
> Where in Florida?


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## Tree Machine

Here.


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## Tree Machine

My friends, it hasn't even been a day yet.


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## Tree Machine

I miss my Mrs. Tree Machine.


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## Tree Machine

Here's where you are, and where my wife is doing house reconnaisance, and where I am.


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## Tree Machine

Remember.....


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## rivahrat

just found this thread. wish i found it sooner. i would love to do this. just cant afford the ticket from va to indianna


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## Tree Machine

*Not such short notice*

Right now we have six full days to work with. You would be amazed how much you can take back with you in a day's time. As well as $150 a day, and food, you could pay for your flight and go home with a couple hundred bucks in-pocket, in just a few days. Go home intent and empowered to launch your own profitable business.



I appreciate that you like the idea, anyway.


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## rb_in_va

Tree Machine said:


> Here's where you are, and where my wife is doing house reconnaisance, and where I am.



TM,
Home prices should be cheaper at hurricane ground zero. At least for awhile anyway. Later, Roger.


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## rivahrat

i dont have the money for the ticket my current job is a whitewater river cuide and season just started so i think i have about 20 bucks to my name


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## rb_in_va

rivahrat,
What rivers do you guide on?


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## Tree Machine

Yea, North Port and Port Charlotte were where the eye of Hurricane Charlie passed while a Category 4. It would be probably a very good business potential there, as far as being a treeguy goes. 

Still, we'd sorta like to be plopped between her parents and mine, which would be just north of the Sarasota airport area.

Now, moving down there is just an idea we're entertaining. I'm not going anywhere for now, as my business is so well-established here. It's like a treeguy Shan-gri-la, tens of thousands of trees in about a three neighborhood area, one nearby lake community, and established chip recycling sites nearby the work zones.

I'm terribly spoiled here. After 10 years in the tree bi here, jobs come spontaneously to my phone with zero advertising, all word-of mouth. or I get jobs by virture of just being out there doing treework, no signs or phone numbers on my truck. This is the hardwood belt, here, and the people really do care about their trees and can afford to have them cared for. All the work I do is within a 4 minute radius of where I live. Efficiency is high. Everything is closeby and convenient. It is like a treeguy dream come true, and now we're talking about moving

I hate to leave this ideal business setting. A thousand regular residential customers who refer me on without me even asking. Consistent work through the Winter which I start booking in July.

You guys wouldn't believe how spoiled I am. I'm greatful for the environment here, the multiple chip recycling sites I have established here and there, the alliances that allow me to put chips on somebody's property that is not my own. And in a cool city, especially if you're into sports, or Auto Racing. For me, it's just the sheer number of trees, it just staggars me. Tens of millions in just the city limits. Hundreds of thousands in just the local zone I live in.

I miss it already, and we haven't even decided if we're gonna go.


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## Tree Machine

rb_in_va said:


> rivahrat,
> What rivers do you guide on?


Yea, are you on the Gauley or the New River? Guide community is pretty tight. Do you know KC, or Chicken Head?


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## Tree Machine

My little city creek here would not impress you, unless it was swollen to it's finest levels after a strong rain to the north. It's a stream that flows into the river, about three minute from here. That is the takeout site. We put-in about three or 4 miles away from here, and paddle down to that point 3 minutes from home. It's about an hour and a half trip that's about 2 1/2 hours from beginning to end.

The key is working within windows of opportunity. After it rains, the creek swells. If it Reallly rains, the creek can <i>really</i> swell. But shortly after the rains let up, the the creek levels go down. To have a really awesome trip, you catch the times when the current is really rockin. You get class 2 rapids and a lot of winding, tight bends, and some log obstacles. It is an absolute GAS! I usually only get a couple of REALLY prime opportunities a year where you get both the rains, the ability to not work that part of the day, and you also must find a paddling partner, groundguy, wife, complete stranger, anybody. 

You can go if the water level is lower, but then you bring Silky saws so you can prune ofme of the snags and overhangs, in prep for the high-water action. ANOTHER one of the things I'll miss about living here. That, and all the morel mushroom sites I've collected over the years. For me to move to something that is <i>better</i> would be quite a stretch, in my opinion.

The pic is of a groundie from 3 years ago on his first day at work. It kept raining, and we went again the next day.


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## Tree Machine

Fastwater experience in the city, minutes from home. I love that.


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## Tree Machine

Glen, are you gonna come in for a day or two or three? I've got some really cool jobs coming up in this current week, one that is more along the lines of commissioned art than it is tree care. A bunch of really good climbs.

Today is Thursday the 14th. I just got called out on contract for another company for the rest of the afternoon today. I'm ready to accept anyone, tomorrow, Friday. Let's ROCK!

Call me, 317-257-6667


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## rb_in_va

Tree Machine said:


> Yea, are you on the Gauley or the New River? Guide community is pretty tight. Do you know KC, or Chicken Head?



Do either of you know Steve Crawford?


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## rivahrat

at the moment i guide on the james in richmond. but have done many others in the east. Steve crawford sounds familiar


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## rb_in_va

rivahrat said:


> at the moment i guide on the james in richmond. but have done many others in the east. Steve crawford sounds familiar



I don't know if he even guides any more, but I would guess so. He was very into and would definitely stay in the loop just to be able to get on the river occasionally. He was somewhat of a legend among the WV guide folks.

A whitewater guide should recognize these lines:

Lewis: The first explorers saw this country, saw it just like us.
Drew: I can imagine how they felt.
Bobby: Yeah, we beat it, didn't we? Did we beat that?
Lewis: You don't beat it. You don't beat this river.


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## Tree Machine

Is that from the movie<i>Deliverance</i>?

It rained here last night and this morning. On my way to the contract climb I looked at the creek, and it was up a bit, but not to adrenaline levels.

The contract climb today was almost adrenaline level. The company was attempting to go up and knock out some big-diameter dead in a big Beech, and some big and extensive dead in a really large maple, lightning struck, but still alive. 

The beech stopped the company. They got a shot bag caught up there. They had a second shotline, and hit a higher crotch. They had a snap tied into the eye on the rope's end, and the shotbag and line was hooked to that. The whole thing got wedged in a crotch, so they were down two shotlines and a climbing rope. Four guys on site, and no way to get up into the trees. It was a beech and the owner said "No" to using spikes.

I just happened to be available because I was screwin around on the computer and said I'd be there in 20 minutes. I showed up wearing my saddle. The Beech was a par three, and I aced it. The maple, also, I set at par three and aced that shot. I did both trees SRT, climbing on Velocity. I had them both done in 3 three hours, and I had a three man ground crew, which was different for me.

I could love to do that all day, every day. One of the 'ground guys' was the company's top climber. He's a spike climber though. I don't think he'd ever seen single rope technique. I had to attach a second rope to the 120 footer because the shot was higher than 60 feet.

That would have been a good one for a noob to see, but I would have had to pay you, even though the need for a groundie was not there, so better I didn't have anyone in today. Tomorrow, though, is going to be a really cool day, where we'll be able to combine a tree job with a morel hunt on the slopes along a river.

Glen, come on in and let's work together tomorrow. Let's have some fun. Fun jobs also coming Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Monday and Tuesday, possibly Wednesday. Saturday maybe an exceptional morel hunt. The rains came last night, it was cool and cloudy today and I think it'll b e cool and moist through to Saturday, by which time the yellows will be FAT! Conditions are optimum.


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## MasterBlaster

So, no strip clubs in yur area? :angel: 

J/K!


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## Tree Machine

*Don't mess with her, Ayatolla*



Blaster said:


> So, no strip clubs in yur area?


 Yes, but....


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## a_lopa

very cool TM, any takers on the work?


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## MasterBlaster

Hahahahahahahaaa!!!

And she looks so sweet and innocent! Ha!


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## tophopper

up that pay to about 65 per hour and Im yours, Ill do all the climbing
and you can still buy me ice cream


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## Tree Machine

See, though, the 65 an hour is for me, of it I pay 15 an hour to the subject, patient, sucker.


Lopa, this guy named Glen is coming in for today and tomorrow.

Last night it poured rain for hours, and though my creek is up, I'd almost rather just do trees today because I've got some good ones. I've gotta decide in the next hour, though, whether we play for the morning and then work, or work all day.

Hmmmm.......


Morel Mushrooms should be up because of the rain and cool of the last two days, and it's getting even cooler, which will help preserve the shrooms and extend the time window of their season. I could hold off til Sunday or Monday and they'll be whoppers by then.

It's all about strategy.

I'm thinking canoe for the morning, hunt morels DURING the paddle, then do a job later today that has a woodlot so we can foray whilst working and getting paid. If I could show Glen how to do a float trip, find morels for dinner and pull down some respectable income in the course of the afternoon, then that would be a good apprentice day.

Gotta show the noob the art of balance.


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## rb_in_va

TM,
That sounds like a great day! And yes, those lines were from Deliverance. That movie is sort of a classic among river guides (for the awesome whitewater scenes of course). Later, Roger (the non-Woodmizer owning Virginian).


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## Tree Machine

Glen is supposed to show up at 9 am. It's been raining all night, all morning, and it is still raining right now.

We could go out and make a living, despite the weather, or we paddle. Just given the current conditions, and all things considered, I must vote for the whitewater canoeing this morning. Isn't that how you break in an apprentice? Play all morning, then go out and make a day's income in an afternoon, while hunting mushrooms.

If I was an apprentice, I'd wanna see that.


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## a_lopa

crap weather is the best to work in!_just not windy_


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## Tree Machine

I'm taking Glen out today. It's rained for two days, it got cold overnight and they're talking about flurries.

Perfect


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## vharrison2

Tree Machine said:


> Here.



That is a fast growing area. Lots of traffic but good investment area. A couple of friends of ours moved over to El jobean and lots in 1 1/2 years have gone from 7,000.00 to 15,000.00. Hot area. Did she find anything?


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## Tree Machine

She's still down there. Hasn't found anything yet. The 'sticker shock' has her knees wobbly. Clearly, the hurricanes didn't scare anyone off.

She joked with me last night about instead of actually moving down there, that I should contract climb in different cities, like we could roam around like tree gypsies. 

Is this a LOL?


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## vharrison2

Are you looking to move or is it just an investment? Nah, the hurricanes did not do anything to deflate prices. We are hiring as I am sure you know. It is like being in the caribbean down here. Small town people nice place. www.dotpalms.com


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## Tree Machine

We are looking to move, mebbe this coming Fall.


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## vharrison2

She having any luck?


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## Tree Machine

Nope. She'll be home tonight. Thanks for asking, Harrison.

My girl is one of those frugal, bargain hunter types who is so good at what she does, the bargains usually find her. However, Florida defeated her this week. I must say, I am quite surprised.

Bargains on housing and land are sparse. Prices are artificially high and that's not going to change any time soon. 

Last night she again brought up the thought of keeping our Indiana home, and getting an RV for next Winter and tooling the southern states. She and I really enjoy travel, and usually do some extended getaway in the Winter and she was really asking if I thought it would be possible to do contract work. I so love that woman.

I told her, with the internet and nationwide long distance on the cell phones, anything is possible. We would just have to put it out there, our intent. She knows I love making money for my contract bosses, working with new crews and sharing with other climbers, especially noobs. I speak real good Spanish, so I can do well in bilingual setting, and I have any gear I could possibly need for contract climbing, as well as my own insurance.

I could dig it.


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## Tree Machine

Well, Glen (known to all of you as glens) Came over and we did three days together. He became one with the chipper.

First day I took him out in the canoe. We have this fast creek, and it had been raining two days, and I knew the water level was up. We went to the normal put-in, and the water was really high, so we went a couple kilometers further up. The creek was smaller, but the water was still gushing, so we drove upstream yet some more. We got to this place where the stream was very near the headwaters. The stream was just over a meter wide and only knee-deep. We parked an put in.

Each of us had a Silky, so we pruned overhangs and snags, cut small trees laying across the stream and had a really cool trip. I had promised to pay him $15 an hour, so I honored that and he paddled like a big dog, at least for the first three hours. I have to admit, it was a pretty long trip, but Tree Machine was having the time of his life. 

We pruned the entire length of the stream, and somewhere near the fourth hour we converged into the big river. We only had about a kilometer to go, and it started raining. Then it started REALLY raining. Then it started hailing, kinda big, like marbles. We're in the boat with the paddles over our heads, getting pinged pretty good. There was really nowhere to go, but there was a bridge downstream. The hail was painful, but at the same time it was quite a hoot. It just kept coming and the surface of the river was filled with these little floating hail balls.

It started to ease up and we paddled like mad to get to the bridge. Just about the time we got under it, the temperature dropped very noticably. We were soaked, and had been for 4 hours. Now we were cold, and the hail kept coming. Now it was getting bigger, and coming down ferociously. I mean BIG hail, kinda like, thank God we're under this bridge-size hail. 3 cm diameter, around the size of ping pong balls. Definitely the biggest hail I'd ever seen. Every time one would hit the water, a splash would pop up about a foot out of the water. We watched tens of thousands of these things hit the water every second, I mean, it was coming down with sheer intensity. The water was dancing, the entire surface. It was surreal. Leaves and small branches were getting stripped out of the trees and depositied in the river and we were scooping up the big hail balls as they floated past. They were just huge. Had we been out on open water, it would have definitely been a painful experience.

We got to our take out, said "Screw working the rest of the day", went home, got hot showers and went to the brew pub. 

An exceptional day at work, I must say. Light on income, but maximum fun.


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## vharrison2

Tree Machine said:


> Nope. She'll be home tonight. Thanks for asking, Harrison.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> I thought it would be possible to do contract work. I so love that woman.
> 
> I could dig it.



I can't offer contract work wages but, can offer fair pay for a 40 hour week in one of the most beautiful places in the USA. See you next winter?


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## Tree Machine

Thanks, Harrison. Right now I'm charging $125 an hour, and I know that's the higher end, but I do that simply to prevent companies from calling me unless the absolutely need me on a bailout job.

My normal rate is $60-90 depending on technicality, but that's because I'm here and schlepp around $50,000 worth of gear, and all the insurances, to every job .

I understand team dynamics that if I were to come in and you pay me more than everyone else, it will piss a bunch of people off and you'd have upheaval in your company and they'd hate me from minute one, no matter what I have to contribute.

We would simply have to do something that works. My intent would be to enhance your company, not drag it down, and leave it better than when I came. 

I have no idea what's going to happen betwen now and then, but I am honored by the offer. Thanks, Boss.


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## vharrison2

Keep in touch!


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