# I decided to test my skills so I purposely got my chainsaw stuck in a dying 30 inch diameter Oak. I'



## Jackbnimble (Aug 21, 2015)

d like to see if you guys would be kind enough to provide your best guesses as to how to get it out--for the newcomer too embarrassed to ask. I'll be happy to tell you who offers the best answer--in case some too embarrassed Boob decides, anonymously, to find out what to do, in case he comes visiting this wonderful website.

I deliberately got it stuck in a very nasty fashion for this purpose, alone. My notch was a perfect V. My cut into the opposite side was angled from the middle of the wedge ending just below the lower wedge cut. Withdrawing the saw, the tree failed to topple and the chainsaw kerf narrowed. Therefore, I made another cut above that one. In perfect professional form, she got pinched, just as I intended.

Who would like to win, "Best Answer for the Too Embarrassed Boob Contest"? Oh yes, almost forgot. 100,00,000 bucks to the champion answerer.

Thanks fellas.


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## TheJollyLogger (Aug 21, 2015)

30 inches so plenty of clearance. Just grab your second saw, bore the kerf a few inches in the back and set a wedge.


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## BuckmasterStumpGrinding (Aug 21, 2015)

Take the power head off your saw Before you wedge it over.


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## Pelorus (Aug 21, 2015)

If you are feeling invincible, and have a Final Will, Power of Attorney, life and disability insurance coverage, and no little kids who want to grow up without a father, use an extension ladder to get a rope installed high enough that you can yank the sucker over with the help of some brutes, or a come-a-long, etc.
A throwbag w. throwline works nice, but if you don't have wedges, I doubt it's something you have on hand.


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## BuckmasterStumpGrinding (Aug 21, 2015)

If the bar is being pinched the tree is leaning the wrong way. When the tree set back it began leaning even further the wrong way. Do not make anymore cuts until you fix the balance issue. Wedges or a rope should work fine depending on the situation but both can cause hinge failure if you do not know what you are doing.


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## GrassGuerilla (Aug 21, 2015)




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## HuskStihl (Aug 21, 2015)

Ok. You've received good advice on freeing u'r saw. Now let's back up a bit.

Where you went wrong. First, you misjudged the lean. The back cut's kerf closed because the tree was leaning that way.
Second, if you aren't very sure of a trees lean, you should get a wedge into the back cut ASAP to avoid it sitting back.

Third, if a kerf closes, and the tree sits back a bit, putting in another back cut will either get you pinched, or worse, let the tree fall backwards.

Fourth, all the downward sloping back cut does is make your wedging less efficient. Try to make it level.

+1 on getting the power head outta there before you get cute. If it was me, I'd take another saw and horizontally bore from the back right in the original back cut all the way to the the hinge. Put a 12" wedge into the pocket and wedge it over
This one sat back, but I already had a wedge in the kerf


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## Jackbnimble (Aug 21, 2015)

BuckmasterStumpGrinding said:


> Take the power head off your saw Before you wedge it over.




Great minds think alike. Thanks. I'm sure EB (Embarrassed Boob) will appreciate your suggestion.


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## Jackbnimble (Aug 21, 2015)

Thanks. I have kids but they'd prefer growing up without me. Can't find anyone willing to sell disability. (None recognize good risk.) Have nothing to will anybody except a pinched guide bar and the extension ladder that caught the tree as she started to tip over, snapping the rope. Two trees suddenly got in the way, so after knocking the ladder out from under the beast, they are carrying most of her weight. I did remove the powerhead. Thought about boring the kerf, but chickened out. Should have made the back cut horizontal. True.
She's a beautiful old tree. Massive, from my humble point of view. Tall. Rugged. Heavy. Towering. Grizzly. Stood straight up. No limbs for 30 feet.
I seem to have a real gift for dropping these suckers right on the money. I am not worried about bringing her down the last 30 feet. 3 trees are better than one.


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## ropensaddle (Aug 22, 2015)

Easy peazy hook a 20 ton winch bit over head high pull the heck outta it, it will come if there is a thick hinge!


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## TheJollyLogger (Aug 22, 2015)

Had a feeling it wasn't hypothetical. For God's sake post some pics, we'll figure it out. STAY SAFE!


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## Jackbnimble (Aug 22, 2015)

ropensaddle said:


> Easy peazy hook a 20 ton winch bit over head high pull the heck outta it, it will come if there is a thick hinge!



My thoughts, too.


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## Jackbnimble (Aug 22, 2015)

Jackbnimble said:


> My thoughts, too.





TheJollyLogger said:


> Had a feeling it wasn't hypothetical. For God's sake post some pics, we'll figure it out. STAY SAFE!




Busted cold.


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## Jackbnimble (Aug 22, 2015)

Well, gentleman, thanks for your expertise and taking the time to share it with me. Sometimes I hate being so good at something like felling trees, you know? It is an overwhelming and awesome responsibility to have to be right all the time.

If you have a big monster resting on its stump and on two trees (that appeared out of nowhere) leaning at a 45 degree angle, what would you do next to bring her down all the way to the ground? Where would you make your next cuts? It looks like this /. I don't know how to include pictures and only my daughter knows how to take and receive them instantly--but she's out shopping for a life insurance policy--on me! Naming herself as the only beneficiary, I'm kind of flattered. I had no idea she believed I was worth $200,000,000.


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## TheJollyLogger (Aug 22, 2015)

Species? Height/girth? Height of stump? Accesibility? Equipment available?


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## HuskStihl (Aug 22, 2015)

I'm gonna say that if you have a big tree hung up on two smaller trees, and you don't have access to heavy equipment, I'd feel guilty about giving you encouragement. Time to call in a pro to clean up.


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## TheJollyLogger (Aug 22, 2015)

Honestly doesn't sound like the project's going too well, might be time to get some on-site expertise. I'd hate for your next post to be "What do you pro's do when your pinned under a tree, hypothetically?"


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## dor-moor hands (Aug 22, 2015)

Assuming this isn't a troll since you haven't answered any questions other members have asked you. I have one more for you. Where are you located besides in a bind? Maybe one of the good members here could help you out or set you up with someone in your area. I for one will offer only one piece of advise call a pro before you get dead or seriously injured.


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## TheJollyLogger (Aug 22, 2015)

Hrs answered


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## Jackbnimble (Aug 23, 2015)

TheJollyLogger said:


> Species? Height/girth? Height of stump? Accesibility? Equipment available?




Oak. 50 feet high. 30+ inches in diameter. 3 and 1/2 feet high stump. In densely wooded and large rock covered slope. used 044. 4 wedges. Sledge hammer. Come-a-long. Sore back.


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## TheJollyLogger (Aug 23, 2015)

**** buddy, post some pics. They call them widowmakers for a reason. When they go bad, they go bad quick.


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## BuckmasterStumpGrinding (Aug 23, 2015)

Dynamite, a long fuse, and a fancy certification showing that you are qualified to use explosives on a tree.


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## CanopyGorilla (Aug 23, 2015)

Wedges are fairly useless now that you have two back cuts.


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## Jackbnimble (Aug 25, 2015)

BuckmasterStumpGrinding said:


> Dynamite, a long fuse, and a fancy certification showing that you are qualified to use explosives on a tree.




Certification? Like it, but I just got done doing a stint for counterfeiting $100.00 bills. My manufacturing skills are on par with my felling expertise.

Will update you boys as soon as I figure out how to fix this disaster. At least I can't destroy anything else--well, except more trees. Kind a like playing dominoes-which was never my forte either. If I'm lucky, pummeled trees will be scattered about the premises, more than enough to heat the old cabin for the next 30 years. If not, well, I hope the tribe enjoys the death benefit.


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## Jackbnimble (Aug 25, 2015)

CanopyGorilla said:


> Wedges are fairly useless now that you have two back cuts.



I am learning that the hard way!


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## HuskStihl (Aug 26, 2015)

If you leave the pinched bar (in te second back cut) in place, you can wedge the original kerf if you bore it open.


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## square1 (Aug 26, 2015)

> If you have a big monster resting on its stump


No holding wood left?


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## Jackbnimble (Aug 26, 2015)

Well boys, four trees came down for the price of one. With two chainsaws stuck and fully fearing impending doom from a widow maker, I took out my little electric craftsman-which couldn't cut my leg- and plunged it in to remove another 1/4 inch of tree up to the hinge. It creaked, the monster creaked! and I bolted for safety behind another large tree. Silence. Waited. Creak. Silence. Creak. Silence. Back and forth like that for about four minutes-while I stayed put. I knew I was a dead duck if she didn't go all the way. Finally, she gathered a little momentum and then she cracked, dragging the first tree with her and smashing 2 more.

Next time, if WWIII let's me out of the house again, I will heed the excellent advice you've given me. 

Big Thanks guys!


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## TheJollyLogger (Aug 27, 2015)

Sweet jesus, tell me the saws are ok...

And on craigslist...


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## BC WetCoast (Aug 27, 2015)

You should be able to get a great deal on that electric craftsman.


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## jaystihl (Sep 3, 2015)

Definitely by far the funniest post ive seen here to date. Glad the to embarrassed boob is safe though. Could have been a bad ending. Although maybe not to the beneficiaries


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## Jackbnimble (Sep 12, 2015)

UPDATE

My would be beneficiaries were ticked. Since the trees came down without making a widow, I've found arsenic in my Mt. Dew, rat poison in my Shredded Wheat, radon levels through the roof in the dog house, cut brake lines on "the bomb" my 1989 Lincoln Town car, and broken glass in my mouth wash.

Been watching, It's A Wonderful Life, non-stop. Henry Travers (who steals the show with his bumbling mannerisms and quaint mumbling) has appeared in person three times, reluctantly informing me that all angels have received their wings. He whispers, "Enjoy the Dew."

O Momma

P.S. I bequeath my little craftsman to you boys


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## kyza (Jan 6, 2016)

I will use my first ever comment to say "This is the best thread... Ever."


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## Creeker (Jan 6, 2016)

Is the reward real $$$'s .....lol


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## Marshy (Jan 6, 2016)

I might as well be the first to say "good job, at the end of the day no one got hurt, all's well the ends well".


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## noodlewalker (Jan 17, 2016)

there should be a thread for posting vids of tree falls gone wrong, just the funny stuff though, call it hillbillies with saws or somethin


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## Jackbnimble (Jan 23, 2016)

Boys, I just want you to know, as of this very moment in time, I am now considered by multitudes, hosts and throngs of folks to be The Reigning Chapeene Of ALL The World Of All Chainsaw Chain Sharpeners Of All Time-- Bar None! I have been elevated to a new and sublime level of achievement and expertise achieved only by one mortal human being, Yours truly.

Soon, the crowds beseeching me for my extraordinarily expensive, esoteric and eclectic communications, instructions and legally qualified expert opinions and advice, will be hounding me, breaking down my door, even more than all my former wives and multitudes of children, grandchildren, great-grandchildren, great-great grandchildren, great-great-great grandchildren and their first, second, third and fourth cousins, aunts, uncles ad infinitum, combined, for a mere whiff of my genius.

WHY?
I, by hand, using my vast and concentrated study in this field, so sharpened a chain for my own personal chainsaw that wood got cut. Not much, no indeed. but a little did seem cutted. Not foolin. Do you have any idea what this means, what the implications are for such a miraculous demonstration of DIY ingenuity? It means, gentlemen, that not one moron or complete idiot or total doofus out there can continue to excuse himself from doing his own chainsaw chain sharpening. If I can make a tear in some wood, ANYBODY CAN SHARPEN CHAINS!!! I'm gonna save people millions of dollars.

I CAN'T BELIEVE IT. I WAS EXPECTINGT THE THING TO FLY OFF AND HIT ME IN THE HEAD. GLORY, BOYS. GLORY!!!


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## Jackbnimble (Jan 23, 2016)

Creeker, I'll gladly pay you Tuesday if I can find a way to get out of jail.


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## noodlewalker (Jan 23, 2016)

ummmm.... on account of all the ego massaging, I lost track of what actually happened there. you sharpened a chain???? or better yet, I know a guy who really, really enjoys sharpening them?? ill send you a pile of em, and for a minimal fee I will allow you to sharpen them for me


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## JeffGu (Jan 23, 2016)

Jackbnimble said:


> I'm gonna save people millions of dollars.



I see a flaw in your plan. Millions of people prefer to maintain the status quo... mainly, by remaining fat, stupid and lazy while complaining incessantly about dull chainsaw chains and the extra hassle of having to actually choke the carburetor when starting the saw when it is cold. Your plan ignores this huge sector of the market, and I fear that your hopes of enormous profits may be unrealistic.


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## Jackbnimble (Jan 23, 2016)

noodlewalker said:


> ummmm.... on account of all the ego massaging, I lost track of what actually happened there. you sharpened a chain???? or better yet, I know a guy who really, really enjoys sharpening them?? ill send you a pile of em, and for a minimal fee I will allow you to sharpen them for me



That is correct. Though I was quite certain there was no way on earth I could do it, after hours, days, weeks, months, ok years of trying, within the last few days I took a fairly sharp chain, touched it up, and it wasn't any duller.

What was I talking about, now that you mention it? Who knew?


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## Jackbnimble (Jan 23, 2016)

JeffGu said:


> I see a flaw in your plan. Millions of people prefer to maintain the status quo... mainly, by remaining fat, stupid and lazy while complaining incessantly about dull chainsaw chains and the extra hassle of having to actually choke the carburetor when starting the saw when it is cold. Your plan ignores this huge sector of the market, and I fear that your hopes of enormous profits may be unrealistic.




Actually, due to my business aplomb, by proving I could sharpen a chain without making it worse than before I started, I anticipate your below average boob out there will be inspired to save himself a buck or two, which, times a million or so such boobs, will save millions.


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## Marshy (Jan 23, 2016)

#SaveTheBoobs


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## Jackbnimble (Jan 23, 2016)

Marshy said:


> #SaveTheBoobs




SAVETHEBOOBS! glory


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## Creeker (Jan 23, 2016)

Jackbnimble said:


> ....... she's out shopping for a life insurance policy--on me! Naming herself as the only beneficiary, I'm kind of flattered. I had no idea she believed I was worth $200,000,000......



I figure jack that yr good lady was thinking it was only a matter of time before she collected.....hrs/days or weeks at most.....lol



Jackbnimble said:


> Certification? Like it, but I just got done doing a stint for counterfeiting $100.00 bills. My manufacturing skills are on par with my felling expertise.
> Will update you boys as soon as I figure out how to fix this disaster. At least I can't destroy anything else--well, except more trees. Kind a like playing dominoes-which was never my forte either. If I'm lucky, pummeled trees will be scattered about the premises, more than enough to heat the old cabin for the next 30 years. If not, well, I hope the tribe enjoys the death benefit.



They will jack, sort of like the weight of a truck has been taken from their shoulders.......



Jackbnimble said:


> Creeker, I'll gladly pay you Tuesday if I can find a way to get out of jail.



Cunning as an outhouse rodent jack, bit of a dag actually. (google dag.)

We think of you differently to the literal meaning of dag in Australian subculture slang which is ....." a dung-caked lock of wool around the hindquarters of a sheep – an abbreviation of "daglock "

Be safe out there jack


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## Jackbnimble (Jan 24, 2016)

Hey. I almost didn't ruin a perfectly good chain or three.

You know what's funny? Like a little kid, I've begun enjoying the feeling of pushing that file through the gullet, the top plate and the side plate at the correct angles, in the right direction, with a third or so of the file riding above the top plate, replacing a less than shiny surface with bright, polished looking, smooth and sharp steel. O momma


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## noodlewalker (Jan 24, 2016)

Ok we went from chains to boobs to poop on a sheep's butt..... Lol. Well done all!!!


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## Jackbnimble (Jan 24, 2016)

noodlewalker said:


> Ok we went from chains to boobs to poop on a sheep's butt..... Lol. Well done all!!!




Just wait until we start using new material. BTW, if you boys haven't seen Larry David pay tribute to Steve Martin, well, you haven't. Get on the stick. Genius.


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## Jackbnimble (Jan 28, 2016)

Jackbnimble said:


> Just wait until we start using new material. BTW, if you boys haven't seen Larry David pay tribute to Steve Martin, well, you haven't. Get on the stick. Genius.



I sharpened a chain and it didn't burst into ten billion bits of steel wool.


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