# Tree guy sayings



## sgreanbeans (May 17, 2011)

Collecting tree guy sayings, as we kinda have our own language

EX: Pile Polisher, Let er run, advocatus pro abora, etc.

Watcha got!


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## treeman82 (May 17, 2011)

$hit job. Catch it, duck, or bleed.


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## derwoodii (May 17, 2011)

Never leave the job empty handed 

Get ya spans

fuel em up sox em down

write em up


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## DDM (May 17, 2011)

Strip it N chip it.

HURRY UP!

Uh oh....


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## Ed Roland (May 17, 2011)

It's all wood.


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## stihl.logger (May 17, 2011)

"i wasn't trying to cut that down... i was simply testing it for stress factors and it failed"

"did that hit your truck?"

"buck it n' truck it"

"you do that on purpose?"

"TIMBER!!!!!!"


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## beastmaster (May 17, 2011)

headache, move or die!


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## Slvrmple72 (May 17, 2011)

Don't top it just drop it!


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## freeweight (May 17, 2011)

"we gettin deep in er now boys"

"let it run",(or eat)

"sling it" throwing a log,or fell

it varies from company to company


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## flushcut (May 17, 2011)

The end is near 
She's a hairy one 
Old snarly


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## flushcut (May 17, 2011)

Where do you want the chips?


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## flushcut (May 17, 2011)

Bombs away
Burn it to the ground 
Let it fly 
Batter up


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## TreeAce (May 17, 2011)

"Real pretty Bill" used after trimming an ornamental

"Banshee" to describe something thats big, tough,powerful. That is a banshee oak or a new chain on a ms660 is "cuttin banshee"

And my personal favorite...
"Atleast your workn!" used on jobs that are less than ideal.


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## Blakesmaster (May 17, 2011)

"Watch out fer landmines!"

"Sail it"

"Humpin' wood"

"Mother ####er, cock sucker, son of a #####!" ( When you hit a nail )

"Perfect!" ( When you almost hit something )


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## derwoodii (May 17, 2011)

er?? it'll soften up next spring, for an ops on a prune task..

lets get wood....


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## Grace Tree (May 17, 2011)

"Well, at least no one got hurt."
Translation:
"You guys are so stupid you're lucky you didn't kill someone."
Phil


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## Tree Pig (May 17, 2011)

Us part timer hacks are quite fond of 

"Hey watch this"


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## woodmans (May 17, 2011)

"Filet em and flambe' em"

"I'm sick a more tree jokes"

"Another one bites the dust"

"Cabasas arribas!"

" Yes. I'm done already."

"Set up the seismograph"

"What do we do after lunch?"

"It doesn't get any better than this."

"Now we're loggin "


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## Toddppm (May 17, 2011)

I think "headache" is pretty standard

Old foreman used to love " Run or die!"

My favorite is " almost finished" especially on a really crappy long hot day and you're only half way in.


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## Bigus Termitius (May 17, 2011)

Bucket B****!


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## Bigus Termitius (May 17, 2011)

"Brush dragger."

My favorite ROW sayin:

"Can't see it from my house!"


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## TreeAce (May 17, 2011)

An extra helper for the day...DRAG QUEEN


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## prentice110 (May 17, 2011)

This is going to be WAY too much fun...... #1, THAT TREES GONNA GROW BACK BY THE TIME YOU GET HER DOWN BOY!!!!!!!!!!! #2 IF YOU GET HIT ITS YOUR OWN DAM FAULT!!!! #3 IF A SAW AINT RUNNIN', YOU BEST BE DRAGGIN' BRUSH!!!! #4, (equipment related, a normal way to answer the phone) What broke? #5 If you think you got a good idea just stop right there! #6 JOUNIOR!!!!!!! #7 Theres no reason........ #8 Watch out boy, those trees'll kill ya. #9 10 11, Greenhorn, grunty, maggot, #12, I gotta run me down to the A-par-men-tos, and grab me a 6-pack of wild beans, these dam white boys dont know how to work or what a $'s worth.(a real helpfull motavational ploy) #13 I need a M.O.M. (My own Mexi) #14 THIS AINT GOIN FAST ENUFF!!!!!!!! (thats when they know I want both bull ropes, and hell is about to rain from above) XXXXXXXXXX give me a day and I'll fill this thread till you beg me to stop cuz you pee your pants laughin. To tired to think off all the good ones.----- oh yeah, @Biggy Termy, Looks good from my house.__________my personal fave, IF YOU CANT BUCKET, #### IT!!!!


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## sgreanbeans (May 18, 2011)

take 5 steps back, now you can have a running start to go F$%k yourself


GRAB IT.............NOT ME, THE ROPE, HOMO

I WAS HITTING THE LIKE BUTTON , BUT THEN REALIZED I LIKE THEM ALL! I will quit yelling now, my wife is wondering why i am typing real hard


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## 48"BAR PINCHER (May 18, 2011)

Were further than we ever been.

It's all over but the cryin.

It's easier to drag brush if you ain't cryin.

WHen I want your opinon i'll give it to ya.

Does your mamma always dress you like that for work?

Don't hate me cuz I'm beautiful. ( Perfect for that occasion when you somehow manage to pull something out of your butt in your favor that should have never happened or you were told it couldn't be done that way)

Hey! Thanks for comin in today! (in the most sarcastic tone you can deliver. Ususally reserved for the middle of the day when you are ready to choke your groundie but can be used on the climber with caution!)


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## highasatree (May 18, 2011)

"When in doubt, cut it out"

"Do as I say, not as I do"

"your on my time now"


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## jefflovstrom (May 18, 2011)

You cannot be so bored that you would start this thread! 
I'll play, :hmm3grin2orange:
:msp_w00t:
Why is there no paper in the printer?
No, I cannot give you a bid over the phone.
Ma'am, I am sorry , but the scratch on your car did not get there by us.

Oh, I get it now.
We called this one groundie 'deadwood'.
Jeff :msp_smile:


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## rmihalek (May 18, 2011)

Take a wrap!


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## jefflovstrom (May 18, 2011)

Dude! Don't pee there!!!!


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## Urban Redneck (May 18, 2011)

Do I have to put hair around that hole for you to hit it?


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## Bigus Termitius (May 18, 2011)

jefflovstrom said:


> Dude! Don't pee there!!!!


 
LOL! Of course, as soon as I get this puppy on the ROW trained where to pee a couple of years ago, he steps on a yellowjacket nest in the timber. 

Crap, now I have a lunatic dancing in front of me covered in yellowjackets. I'm knocking them off telling him to hold still, he breaks camp and heads through backyards getting naked heading for the river....easily one of the best ROW daze ever!


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## freeweight (May 18, 2011)

"get it fast or get it slow its all gota go"

"LOOK OUT ,RACOOOON!!" to the climber*(s)

"why is the tree that u guys were suppose to prune gone"?


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## jefflovstrom (May 18, 2011)

Bigus Termitius said:


> LOL! Of course, as soon as I get this puppy on the ROW trained where to pee a couple of years ago, he steps on a yellowjacket nest in the timber.
> 
> Crap, now I have a lunatic dancing in front of me covered in yellowjackets. I'm knocking them off telling him to hold still, he breaks camp and heads through backyards getting naked heading for the river....easily one of the best ROW daze ever!


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## freeweight (May 18, 2011)

urban redneck ,my grandfather says that alot when working on stuff


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## Urban Redneck (May 18, 2011)

Yeah. It's an old school saying. Doesn't really apply to most female's grooming habits today. HA!!


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## stumpjumper83 (May 18, 2011)

As we top out a 100' white pine, over top a garage, and power line, with a power drop to the house and a phone line all mixed in...
Everything was lowered type job...

"dude, you know they sell christmass trees, right?"


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## cuttenwolf (May 18, 2011)

it's going to be a little ****ed up today but that is the way it is going to have to be----never quite understood that but the guy who said it has been in business for 40 years.


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## c.willard (May 18, 2011)

Slack out, SLACKERS!!!

Take a wrap or ####'s going to snap.

You start the 880, and don't dig no trench!!

chipper friendly piles

Damn it! Was that a peeler?


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## prentice110 (May 18, 2011)

Something to do.... would you rather be at home playing video games?. ITS NOT ABOUT THE MONEY!!!! $800!!! I coulda sold this Oak for $1700!!!!, responds with--- Did it for the wood. You guys smoke your breakfast? You keep standing there , I'll show you why you shouldnt. WRAP IT THE OTHER WAY!!!!! Is that a trim?, yeah, the one cut pruning method. Trim it to the ground. What am I gonna tell your wife when you finaly get your self killed? Tell her it shoulda happened a long time ago(EFFIN John). The old man used to just reach out there and CUT IT!!! ---- If you listen to me , you'll make more money, ITS NOT ABOUT THE MONEY!!!!(again, Effin John-remember the bad bosses thread?) Big deer, tall deer.( rip or peel, I.E. deer scrape. also known as Jim Peel.) Watch out for Matt, he's a ###ing psycho!


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## freeweight (May 19, 2011)

are u on meth??^^^seriously gota b some kinda speed freak.....


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## Slvrmple72 (May 19, 2011)

That went pretty good for my first time climbing.:msp_scared:


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## Slvrmple72 (May 19, 2011)

How much is your deductible?


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## sgreanbeans (May 19, 2011)

"did you deadwood the deadwood" said after a idiot pruned a dead leader.

Jeff- yes, yes I am!


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## derwoodii (May 19, 2011)

Get ya dam boots off a ma climbin line


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## flushcut (May 19, 2011)

Oh look the sidewalk manager has arrived.


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## TreeAce (May 19, 2011)

Its cool..I watched a guy do this on the Discovery channel, I got this! 
OR
After getting a compliment from HO while climbing/roping...I watched a tree guy DVD last nite!....twice!!


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## loveroftrees (May 19, 2011)

Nobody died
No, but I'd stayed at a holidy inn last night


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## tree MDS (May 19, 2011)

Oh alright, I'll play:

Gonna make some money, or die trying.

It'll come back (or It'll fill in).

It'll spring back up.

The frost will push it back up.

Here we go again.

I've gotta be the dumbest mother####er that ever lived!

I hate this guy!

Is that a career tree?

Cut and hope.

You rake like a woman!

Put a little forearm in it!

Maybe Stop & Shop is hiring!

I just wanna get home to my beer!

I need a drink.

Never again.

You're fired!

Dude, you suck!


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## TREE_KILLER (May 19, 2011)

"Not that tree !"


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## tree MDS (May 19, 2011)

That thing was a piece of crap anyway!

You can do it! (heavy on the sarcasm).

Just like yesterday, just like the day before.

This guy's a cheap bastard anyway.

This broad's a whacko.

That thing will never cut again.

Shut up and get in the house #####! (always wanted to use that one)

It's what the guy wanted. 

I hate this place!


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## muddawg (May 19, 2011)

this one echo's through the neighborhood as the groundman thinks hes found a quiet and private place to pee

"GET OUTA THERE !"
(climber chuckling.....groundsman peeing on himself )


"HANGER ! " ....especially when there is NO hanger there


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## c.willard (May 19, 2011)

It will notch and drop. "Said sarcasticaly during very technical removals"


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## ozzy42 (May 19, 2011)

I'll play along .
Quote to cheap customers"it's TREE service ,not FREE SERVICE"

Quote to whining groundie"what's a matter ? your ##### hurting today?"


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## TreEmergencyB (May 19, 2011)

"Dont step on my tail" flipline draggin behind you 
"Fire that motha up" go start the chipper fool
"when in doubt cut it out" experienced pruners only
"any where from 50 bucks to 50 grand" ball park tree price
End of the day "see you back at the ranch"=shop or 'we meeting at the office?"=bar
"it is what it is" my mentors favorite for the big nasty backyard removal
"tie into the sky" another from my mentor in reference to a good TIP spot
"dont go planting potatoes with that saw" 
"dont throw no alley apples in my chipper" rocks


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## TreEmergencyB (May 19, 2011)

ozzy42 said:


> Quote to whining groundie"what's a matter ? your ##### hurting today?"


 
"pull string pad will follow"


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## TreEmergencyB (May 19, 2011)

*forgot 1*

"thats a big assh tree"


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## treeclimber101 (May 19, 2011)

Work ways ... your an idiot ..... she's a heffer ..... chipper blades are beat.... Headache.... wheres lunch ..... trucks full ..... chippers clogged...... Cats gotta a flat ...... Your late ......And my favorite" check please ".......


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## no tree to big (May 19, 2011)

"when you hear the Mexicans whistling RUN" best advise I got from my fellow groundie lol


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## tomtrees58 (May 19, 2011)

whoops:hmm3grin2orange:


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## zopi (May 19, 2011)

Yes, maam, I am one of those crazy bastards that climb trees with chainsaws...in answer to her question and just before her esimate mulitiplied. 

there is a charge for putting up with stupid people.


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## prentice110 (May 19, 2011)

freeweight said:


> are u on meth??^^^seriously gota b some kinda speed freak.....


 
Just curious, are you refering to me? Naturaly hyper sir.


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## prentice110 (May 19, 2011)

The best thing about this thread is seeing that some of these old saying are nation wide, like MD is east coast, but he knows the 'career tree' saying. I havent heard that one in a long dam time. That was an old line clearance one here. Frank Moewer had the best of em but I cant think of any right now. @Bigs, you ever work ROW with old Frank-O? Guy was a legend, someone on here has to of known him. So many good one I keep forgetting all day thinkin of this thread...., I told you squirls can climb pole saws dumbass!---- If you feel rain on your helmet, but it aint rainin' dont look up!-If you cant identify poison ivy, you best bring some T-P to work with ya!:hmm3grin2orange:


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## Bigus Termitius (May 19, 2011)

prentice110 said:


> The best thing about this thread is seeing that some of these old saying are nation wide, like MD is east coast, but he knows the 'career tree' saying. I havent heard that one in a long dam time. That was an old line clearance one here. Frank Moewer had the best of em but I cant think of any right now. @Bigs, you ever work ROW with old Frank-O? Guy was a legend, someone on here has to of known him. So many good one I keep forgetting all day thinkin of this thread...., I told you squirls can climb pole saws dumbass!---- If you feel rain on your helmet, but it aint rainin' dont look up!-If you cant identify poison ivy, you best bring some T-P to work with ya!:hmm3grin2orange:


 
No, I'm too far down state I think. 

Ran into my old mentor today out on the ROW though, he might know him or of him. He's been around this biz for 25 years and the utility forester down in this area for about 20 of those. I was in between estimates after lunch and about ready to see about knocking out a small job when I get this call.

"I just had the power company cut down a tree and they are leaving the wood, do you pick up wood and grind stumps?"

*"Yes I do, was it the power company or some contractors?"*

"Oh no, it was the power boys for sure. When can you come up and have a look?"

*"Are they still there?"*

"They just left."

*"I'll be right up."*

I missed them by a quarter mile. They saw me give them a wave as they turned down the big road headed for the shop, but thought I was just a happy wood grabber. Which was true..$$$.

I gave him a buzz and we are going to catch up next week. He wants some cards to give out to coop members looking for tree work. They've been taken care of my vermeer 1400 with a deere and a winch for me...I got dibs..lol.

I'll ask him. Where did Frank work mostly?


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## prentice110 (May 19, 2011)

Frank was an old ticket crew badass from way back. If hes still alive hes gotta be pushin 80. He was still tryin to do trees a few back, but his wife finally made him stop. Even the young bux had to eat there wheaties if they knew they were workin under Frank. Never saw him in action personally, but from what I heard from more than a few, the guy took down 3-4 100ft cottonwoods in and over phases all day everyday like they were flops. He was one of those sidework kings. Knocked on the door when my old man retired wanting to buy our 200+, had cash in hand, pops wouldnt sell him the machine cuz he cash raided him so much over the years. He worked the North shore and Lake and Cook counties mostly, to the best of my knowlage. I would have to ask my minions for more info. Every now and then, I still get customers of his calling me , just cuz hes not doing it anymore, guy was around a LONG time. Someone here must know him.


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## Bigus Termitius (May 19, 2011)

prentice110 said:


> Frank was an old ticket crew badass from way back. If hes still alive hes gotta be pushin 80. He was still tryin to do trees a few back, but his wife finally made him stop. Even the young bux had to eat there wheaties if they knew they were workin under Frank. Never saw him in action personally, but from what I heard from more than a few, the guy took down 3-4 100ft cottonwoods in and over phases all day everyday like they were flops. He was one of those sidework kings. Knocked on the door when my old man retired wanting to buy our 200+, had cash in hand, pops wouldnt sell him the machine cuz he cash raided him so much over the years. He worked the North shore and Lake and Cook counties mostly, to the best of my knowlage. I would have to ask my minions for more info. Every now and then, I still get customers of his calling me , just cuz hes not doing it anymore, guy was around a LONG time. Someone here must know him.


 
Reminds me of stories I've heard about an old man down this way, I'll ask, but I'll bet if my friend doesn't know him, his old boss might. The forefathers all had to be hardcore, they were the machines.


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## Oak Savanna (May 19, 2011)

-You got to know when to hold em, know when to fold em, know when to walk away and know when to run!

-Thats ok I did that my first day too!

- Do the best you can and I will be by to fix it up later!

- Gettin chippy with it

- Pecker pole

- Squirrel hotel

- Got the office with the view!

- One cut at the bottem is the quickest!

- "wow you guys sure know what you are doing" . . . Actually its our first job, howd we do?!

- Here is your price. . . "oh I was thinking like half that" . . well we also rent climbing gear by the hour but the crew and I get to sit, drink beer and watch!

- Why dont I pay you to take your tree down!

- "Tell you what if you take my tree down for free you can keep all the wood!"


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## prentice110 (May 19, 2011)

Bigus Termitius said:


> Reminds me of stories I've heard about an old man down this way, I'll ask, but I'll bet if my friend doesn't know him, his old boss might. The forefathers all had to be hardcore, they were the machines.


 
Those old timers would make these young punks go running and crying for a mini or a mexi. They didnt even have log carts when those guys started. ----- How are you going to get that big old thing down? I have a spray can of 'Tree 'B' Gone' in the truck. @ Big, nothing fazed tho old timers cuz they came up with old consrtuction copper primaries, they were almost all old Davey.


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## sgreanbeans (May 20, 2011)

terrorist topper

chipper queen- wont drag, just feed

do the good work

that was f'ing NINJA-whenever someone does a amazing/impossible move

gonna ride the bull- when ya launch something big off and you know the reaction forces are gonna give ya a big one

windshield warrior- that guy that always volunteers to "help" go pick something up or move a truck


this isnt mine at all, but I love "treetarded"

fakie 180- refers to the guy who convinces you he is a god of arboriculture , then sucks horribly bad


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## ronnyb (May 20, 2011)

Less jawing and more sawing.
How many five, tens, and twenties can you stuff in a pillowcase? (when someone asks how much it would cost to take a tree down and you know its not worth your time to give them an actual estimate)


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## zopi (May 20, 2011)

"Southern Green maple" In response to a nice old lady who asked what species of maple her sweetgum tree was...she was so proud of her garden skills, I didn't have the heart...except that of the tree...pretty lumber..


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## jefflovstrom (May 20, 2011)

We are getting overtime, right?
Jeff


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## jefflovstrom (May 20, 2011)

prentice110 said:


> Just curious, are you refering to me? Naturaly hyper sir.


 
How do you spell, 'nar sar cist?'.
Jeff :msp_ohmy:


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## flushcut (May 20, 2011)

This limb? No that limb. This limb? No that limb. ( Talking with elderly customers)


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## Frax (May 21, 2011)

Just cut it already!

Dendrocidal maniacs (tree hacks)


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## derwoodii (May 21, 2011)

When using wood chippers always think, never put ya hands we're ya wouldn't put ya ####.

Stop treatin the chipper like your girl friend, it don't need no fore play just shove it in, alright...


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## treeman75 (May 21, 2011)

"We are having a safety meeting" I used to say that when we were at the bar.


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## treeman75 (May 21, 2011)

stand in that crotch and cut it


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## prentice110 (May 21, 2011)

jefflovstrom said:


> How do you spell, 'nar sar cist?'.
> Jeff :msp_ohmy:


 
I think its spelled D O U C H E, ya chooch, ooooOOo , sorry


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## prentice110 (May 21, 2011)

treeman75 said:


> "We are having a safety meeting" I used to say that when we were at the bar.


 
SAFTEY MEETING!!!, yelled before everyone climbed into the back of the chiptruck. Then some little old lady would walk up and say, 'hello?, are you in there?, I need an estimate, and i think your truck is on fire." God I miss those days. Long time ago. We had so much fun before we had to grow up. I hope a log falls on me b4 im jeffs age,,,


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## jefflovstrom (May 21, 2011)

prentice110 said:


> SAFTEY MEETING!!!, yelled before everyone climbed into the back of the chiptruck. Then some little old lady would walk up and say, 'hello?, are you in there?, I need an estimate, and i think your truck is on fire." God I miss those days. Long time ago. We had so much fun before we had to grow up. I hope a log falls on me b4 im jeffs age,,,


 
Who is jeff?
Jeff :msp_w00t:


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## prentice110 (May 21, 2011)

jefflovstrom said:


> Who is jeff?
> Jeff :msp_w00t:


 
Some dinosaur, wink wink nudge nudge., obvioulsly some douche who never saw the real chit, blinded by palms and suncreen. Drag thru a foot of snow one day . EEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGG!!!! Id like to grab you by the hair and scearm 'do it #####!!!!'


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## jefflovstrom (May 21, 2011)

prentice110 said:


> Some dinosaur, wink wink nudge nudge., obvioulsly some douche who never saw the real chit, blinded by palms and suncreen. Drag thru a foot of snow one day . EEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGG!!!! Id like to grab you by the hair and scearm 'do it #####!!!!'


 
Dang! That sure is one miserable excuse for a human being! I am glad it not me! Right?
Jeff


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## derwoodii (May 22, 2011)

I only gotz a little ol 6inch bandit 65, so often I'd be heard to say. 

Gettin big wood into a small hole thats what I'm good at.


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## treeslayer (May 23, 2011)

prentice110 said:


> SAFTEY MEETING!!!, yelled before everyone climbed into the back of the chiptruck. Then some little old lady would walk up and say, 'hello?, are you in there?, I need an estimate, and i think your truck is on fire." God I miss those days. Long time ago. We had so much fun before we had to grow up. I hope a log falls on me b4 im jeffs age,,,


 
priceless, ####ing priceless...../..


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## sgreanbeans (May 25, 2011)

Trunk Hugger- the guy who wont walk branches, stays directly below his tie in, but still proclaims he is a experienced pro ,"the tree didn't grow right" so he couldn't climb it, using his "style"

Knee Knocker-same guy as above, who actually moves more than 5ft out on a branch

Im not sure what to call this, but looking for a cool description of the the guy who takes 30 tries to get his line in by toss bag, using all they different methods, instead of just shooting it up with a big shot( because he don't need that thing)


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## prentice110 (May 25, 2011)

sgreanbeans said:


> Trunk Hugger- the guy who wont walk branches, stays directly below his tie in, but still proclaims he is a experienced pro ,"the tree didn't grow right" so he couldn't climb it, using his "style"
> 
> Knee Knocker-same guy as above, who actually moves more than 5ft out on a branch
> 
> Im not sure what to call this, but looking for a cool description of the the guy who takes 30 tries to get his line in by toss bag, using all they different methods, instead of just shooting it up with a big shot( because he don't need that thing)


 
Uh,.... Uber line launcher?


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## flushcut (May 25, 2011)

Don't pull till I tell you too. 
Thats going to leave a mark. 
She's a flopper. 
Just cut a little more. 
Dude that hinge sucks. 
Really? 
Now that's how you do it!


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## pdqdl (May 25, 2011)

Bigus Termitius said:


> Bucket B****!


 
done around here, that would be "Bucket Baby".


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## BigUglySquirrel (May 25, 2011)

-Headache! 
-SarSar!! (To a groundie from the canopy, meaning "Tie my saw on")
-Bangadang! (Multipurpose positive expletive shouted at random. example .."BANGADANG!" Proper response being, "You dang right." or " 'ats right!" or "GITTIT!")
-Give it some love (beat the hell out of it)
-Wake it up (same as "give it some love")
-Give it!! (to a groundie from the canopy, meaning "untangle my line(s)"
-Stumpy (stump grinder)
-Bucky (bucket truck)
-Chipperator (the chipper)
-Let 'er eat
-beaterator (sledgehammer or maul)
-jerk saw (handsaw)
-sneak spot (the usual place we hide something. eg: truck keys, etc.)
-kooky-bird (difficult or nit-picky homeowner)
-2 honey (MS200T. also referred to as a "two hunnert")
-drive around guy (insult referring to the guy who has to leave the jobsite to bid, run errands, get supplies, etc. Example, "oooh...drive around guy's back to give us a break.")
-"B" crew (Same as drive around guy)
-JV squad (weekend warriors, part-timers, step-kids....all referring to guys that work on a part-time basis on their days off from their real jobs)
-JoeBob (a hack. "Did you see those JoeBobs with their ladder and polesaw?)
-"That's reeeeeal nice, Clark." (sarcastic comment regarding someones screw-up or equipment failure)
-Rigger, please. ("You gotta be kidding me" or "you're full of it")
-Feed the machine (lunch time)

I'm sure there's plenty more, but there's a start


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## jefflovstrom (May 25, 2011)

Do I get 'Over-time'?
Jeff


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## Urban Redneck (May 25, 2011)

Crew chief to the greenhorn "Hey run back to the truck and get the cable stretcher... oh and I need a can of slack... make sure it's the yellow can." I've seen guys look for an hour. Harmless hazing is always funny.


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## BigUglySquirrel (May 26, 2011)

Duck Dodgers (someone who's avoiding you)
Hump it (using body thrust to ascend)
squirrel it (swing to a new location)
Brush that up a little (file this chain)
Brooms (rakes)
Donnies Girlfriend (backpack blower)


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## oscar4883 (May 26, 2011)

This is gonna suck. (Usually followed sometime later with "this sucks")

Put a smile in it and throw it. (Notch and drop)

Did you put the pin in? (A question as to whether or not the pin is in that closes the pintle hitch. Usually occurs on the highway.)


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## prentice110 (May 26, 2011)

Snurg burg, snurg, the snuggeling beast. The 40 yard chip truck, old Dave(not slayer) didnt like to call it burg cuz he said he didnt want it to be Jewish. Lurch negisis, the old skyworker that had a bad pin in the main lift cyl, caused it to rock on you, and then you pee your pants cuz you thought you were about to die.


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## jefflovstrom (May 26, 2011)

What did I tell you about 'TUI' (typing under the influence), I bet I am the only one one that know's what you are saying! Watch!
:hmm3grin2orange::hmm3grin2orange::hmm3grin2orange:
Jeff


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## TreEmergencyB (May 26, 2011)

oscar4883 said:


> This is gonna suck. (Usually followed sometime later with "this sucks")
> 
> Put a smile in it and throw it. (Notch and drop)
> 
> Did you put the pin in? (A question as to whether or not the pin is in that closes the pintle hitch. Usually occurs on the highway.)


 
you must work for Oconner


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## prentice110 (May 26, 2011)

Well dude! Im not even drunk!!!


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## flushcut (May 26, 2011)

Is there a translation for that.


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## jefflovstrom (May 26, 2011)

Snurg burg means thinking back a long time ago when you thought things were great! 
Jeff


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## prentice110 (May 26, 2011)

jefflovstrom said:


> Snurg burg means thinking back a long time ago when you thought things were great!
> Jeff


 
 uhhhhh..... It was the short way of saying snurgulling beast. Those were the days. We lit a fire that didnt go out for 8 weeks back then. I think my record was 7 clam loads on that in one day. 45foot tall flames. Any hoo, back on topic, "are you gonna sign that?" When dinger gets the fence. "What do you got John?" 8,10,12 more jobbers. Little baby tree=100ft Cottonwood/SilverMaple/Willow. STOP HIM!!!!! Cut the back, go to Masses! Can you ####ing belive this guy?


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## TreeAce (May 27, 2011)

I know one saying I am tired of using...goes somethin like this.....HHHHEEEEYYYYYY..or EEEEEEHHHHHHHHH . trying to yell "hay" over that loud asz chipper. Not sure if they dont look up often enough or if I just have no paitence. I have started my saw just to get someone to look up cuz I need another rope or something. I should buy one of those whistles! lol...


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## tree MDS (May 27, 2011)

TreeAce said:


> I know one saying I am tired of using...goes somethin like this.....HHHHEEEEYYYYYY..or EEEEEEHHHHHHHHH . trying to yell "hay" over that loud asz chipper. Not sure if they dont look up often enough or if I just have no paitence. I have started my saw just to get someone to look up cuz I need another rope or something. I should buy one of those whistles! lol...


 
Aw man, you gotta know the classic treeguy "WHOOO, WHOOO"! It's kinda hard to type it out effectively, but that pitch can usually be heard (eventually) over equipment. The first time someone did that to me, I was like "what, you think I'm your ####ing dog now or something douche- bag??" it does work though. lol.

I actually have a brand new whistle, so I've had that thought too... just never bothered taking it out of the plastic. I guess that would be a little over the top.


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## flushcut (May 31, 2011)

My hands hurt. 
I can barely pick up this beer. 
Man, what a day!


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## chad556 (May 31, 2011)

"Stop making toothpicks!" Ground guy cutting up brush way too small, usually just for the pure joy of cutting stuff with the chainsaw.

"That was the biggest tree I ever sawed!"

"Will the truck pull the tree or will the tree pull the truck?" Luckily, it has always been the first one for me :hmm3grin2orange:.


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## soggyboots (Jun 2, 2011)

*this 1's great*

F*** no!

Don't just stand there and scratch yourself

"Yeah, it's a good mornin to go F*** yourself"


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## oscar4883 (Jun 2, 2011)

Tree was a grand, but the lawn damage was free.


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## TreEmergencyB (Jun 2, 2011)

Yes mam' there is holes in your grass now but we dont charge for lawn aerating . 

As the climber rips a huge log through the middle of smaller tree next to it...."that prune is on us..."


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## bomar (Jun 2, 2011)

my old foreman told me this along time ago(Question-whats the diffrence between a 100$ tree and a 1000$ tree. ANSWER-ones a 100$ tree and the other is a 1000$ tree. tree work is tree work now get your ass back to ####in work you worthless apprentice. lol oh how i used to love being the low man on the totem pole in the barrel every day


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## prentice110 (Jun 3, 2011)

TreEmergencyB said:


> As the climber rips a huge log through the middle of smaller tree next to it...."that prune is on us..."


 
Bad boss called that 'Free trimming'


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## prentice110 (Jun 3, 2011)

If you have time to lean, you have time to clean , so if you want a break, GRAB A RAKE!!!!


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## tree md (Jun 3, 2011)

If you don't pay me for this tree the next one is "on the house"...


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## mic687 (Jun 3, 2011)

Short and fat or skinny and tall sooner or later they all gotta fall. 
This is gonna suck.
I'll do a proper pruning cut on that apple tree when I get the rest of this ash down.


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## mitch95100 (Jun 3, 2011)

AW HELL...
Now we got some wood (dont want to know)
It was supposed to fall their...
ITs always the green horns fault.
it barber chaired cauz your a dumb ass (what i said to an idiot)


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## derwoodii (Jun 3, 2011)

How do I tell the back of a tree from the front of the tree boss? Well son, ya dont take piss at the front of a tree, do ya..


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## JRepairsK70e (Jun 4, 2011)

It aint colon surgery!! [instead of brain ]


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## Treetom (Jun 4, 2011)

Coma!: local climber warning. 

To client: Compare removing your tree to making an omelet. When you make an omelet a few eggs get broken. Think of your yard as an egg.


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## sgreanbeans (Jun 4, 2011)

Textition- the guy who cant put down his phone, give him a simple task, all is well till he gets a text, then forgets what he............................... LOL,OMG Idk brb...................was doing

Emotiontroll- guy who needs positive feed back (pats on the back) all the time, for doing the same thing everyone else is doing.

DEFLECTOR- guy who will come up with the crazy ascs excuse why, what he did, is someone elses (sp?) fault.

Pro Avoider- guy who will make himself look busy so he don't have to help the others, taken twice as long to put up his gear, timing it perfectly with the last log

Halfman- guy who does not have enough internal fortitude (balls) to own up to his f-ups.

All these came from me thinking about 1 guy!


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## flushcut (Jun 6, 2011)

If you could only see what I am seeing two houses away.


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## TreeAce (Jun 6, 2011)

Hows this for a saying.....GET YOUR ASS OFF THAT PHONE RIGHT NOW AND HELP THESE GUYS OR START [email protected]#$ING WALKING!!


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## sgreanbeans (Jun 7, 2011)

I said pull!!!!!!


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## zopi (Jun 7, 2011)

did that on purpose..as my wide eyed groundie stares at me after dropping six feet of pine between two shrubs...


oops....good thing I brought a hammer..after knocking the top rail off a cutomers fence when a hinge control drop didn't hang deep enough....she was all smiles and thumbs up though, after watching me barely brush her gutters with another slow moving half ton of oak branch..best customer ever..


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## LawnMoore (Jun 8, 2011)

How about:

I god it!

"You sir", "Yes, your going to have to move back farther than that.."

Id rather climb something God made, than man made..

You just never know, but with that big of a hole in it, I sure wouldnt stop thinking about it..

Snake!

Is this your first day on a job?

I see a bear down there..


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## prentice110 (Jun 8, 2011)

*Disneyland*

"Its Disney". Said from one seasoned tree guy to another when discussing or discribing an upcoming hell job due to an over landscaped postage stamp DZ. Disney can double or even triple the price of a normaly easy takedown. Possibly refered to as a typical Conn. yard:hmm3grin2orange:


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## Groundman One (Jun 8, 2011)

*"A peanut."* Small tree or job.

*"A Japanese job."* Quiet Zen work with no power tools and classical music playing on the truck speakers. Great Friday jobs.

*"It's okay, I'll carry if it's too heavy."* A snide remark we all say to each other when someone is spending too much time contemplating picking up and carrying a heavy piece of wood. 

The rest are slang French between me and my climber. They don't really work in English.


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## Rftreeman (Jun 8, 2011)

notch it and watch it

can't see it from my house

I quit, you bastards

and I was once called a "tree abortionist"

and the one that's been in my sig for 3 years now....


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## treeclimber101 (Jun 8, 2011)

Headache


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## jefflovstrom (Jun 8, 2011)

Go sit in the truck, you are off the clock. I will be back in a while to take you back. Good luck!
Jeff


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## TreeAce (Jun 8, 2011)

jefflovstrom said:


> Go sit in the truck, you are off the clock. I will be back in a while to take you back. Good luck!
> Jeff


 
I bet there was a cell phone involved:msp_biggrin:


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## jefflovstrom (Jun 8, 2011)

TreeAce said:


> I bet there was a cell phone involved:msp_biggrin:


 
Ha Ha, Good one, Ace! Nah, just a dumb-ass.
Jeff


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## ForTheArborist (Jun 8, 2011)

Keep working. Pain is only in your head.

Mind over matter.


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## Slvrmple72 (Jun 8, 2011)

Suck it up!


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## prentice110 (Jun 8, 2011)

This here is for those who posted after my last..... For RFT, when in doubt, rope it out(did I use that one already?) for for the action and silver 72, YOUR GOING TO HAVE TO LEARN TO LIVE WITH PAIN!!!!!!(old Bob, RIP) For Jeff, uh uh homes, here in the private sector, we get this privlage, "THERES THE ROAD #####!!!!, AND IM KEEPING YOUR CHECK!!!!"


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## lawrencetreeman (Jun 9, 2011)

Better be careful or someone might think I know what I'm doing! Followed by yes I meant for it to do that!
Just let her swing free!


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## Rftreeman (Jun 9, 2011)

an inch is a good as a mile


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## woodmans (Jun 9, 2011)

A little pain never hurt anybody.


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## Rftreeman (Jun 9, 2011)

I'm the fastest climber ever, just watch me when I fall


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## tree MDS (Jun 9, 2011)

Take a break, grab a rake! (awesome hint dropper for lazy bastards)

I think prentice mentioned that one already, but it's just such a classic.


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## TREE_KILLER (Jun 10, 2011)

Make it butt heavy


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## sgreanbeans (Jun 11, 2011)

When cool customers come out after the job, sometimes I will mess with them
HO-"that was so cool, I would never do that"
My reply- "Thought I did pretty good for my first time" Always gets a look!


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## flushcut (Jun 11, 2011)

Poof, gone, like it never happened!


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## treeclimber101 (Jun 11, 2011)

Holy #### did that go the way you planned ......


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## tree md (Jun 11, 2011)

Me to the groundy:

The idea son is to be smarter than the piece of wood you are cutting...

Me to the climber:

If you fall you are fired before you hit the ground...


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## tree MDS (Jun 11, 2011)

tree md said:


> Me to the groundy:
> 
> The idea son is to be smarter than the piece of wood you are cutting...
> 
> ...


 
You get hurt, just remember I have a backhoe! lol.


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## easy-lift guy (Jun 11, 2011)

"Like trees some clients or customers need more training than others"
elg


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## goneloco (Jun 16, 2011)

freeweight said:


> "why is the tree that u guys were suppose to prune gone"?


 
had to ask that a time before


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## jefflovstrom (Jun 16, 2011)

Quote,"What are we doing today?"
Jeff :msp_smile:


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## zopi (Jun 16, 2011)

You are going to drive me to drink..

My new groundie after catching his first top on the porty and watching me ride the spar like a bronco...

It is just like bunjee jumping...with a chainsaw...to the wide eyed HO right after I took the same top...

Got two more referrals from that guy.


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## keh10 (Jun 16, 2011)

Don't mind that cavity. I'm sure the cambium will hold you up.

There's your problem.

She's still throwin' sap.



Boss to ground crew: If it's on the ground with no damage by the time I get back, beer's on me.

Ground crew to boss when he returns: Well at least it's on the ground.


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## TREE_KILLER (Jun 18, 2011)

jefflovstrom said:


> Quote,"What are we doing today?"
> Jeff :msp_smile:


 When that is asked the reply is "Tree Work"


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## TreeAce (Jun 18, 2011)

jefflovstrom said:


> Quote,"What are we doing today?"
> Jeff :msp_smile:


 
Another reply I have used is..."F#@$in painting a house!"


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## derwoodii (Jun 18, 2011)

HO to any tree guy "I like trees, but."


And then you get the list of stupid grievance that means your gonna sox a real nice tree for no real reason, sigh..


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## tree md (Jun 18, 2011)

"headache" !!!


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## zopi (Jun 18, 2011)

derwoodii said:


> HO to any tree guy "I like trees, but."
> 
> 
> And then you get the list of stupid grievance that means your gonna sox a real nice tree for no real reason, sigh..


 
Automatocally add ahundred bucks to the estimate...


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## John Paul Sanborn (Jun 18, 2011)

sgreanbeans said:


> When cool customers come out after the job, sometimes I will mess with them
> HO-"that was so cool, I would never do that"
> My reply- "Thought I did pretty good for my first time" Always gets a look!


 
I'm afraid of heights, help me get down!


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## John Paul Sanborn (Jun 18, 2011)

Did anyone mention pruning tight crotches? The old HO's always chuckle with that.


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## tree md (Jun 18, 2011)

Some old timer sayings...

Throwing the pole

Collar it down

Ah ####, it just knocked a little bark off me...


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## John Paul Sanborn (Jun 19, 2011)

Climber trimming large tree as suit walks by in neighboring yard; "Are you taking it down?"

"Yes sir! one twig at a time!"


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## ch woodchuck (Jun 19, 2011)

After hitting a buried house water service.....Awwww don't worry,it'll rust over!


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## John Paul Sanborn (Jun 20, 2011)

There's a lot a rot in it, you should take it down. (I need the money for a boat payment)


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## gwiley (Jun 20, 2011)

- "Hand me the fine adjustment tool" (8lb sledge hammer).
- "Don't worry, that gives it character" (for example after ripping the mirror off the passenger side of the truck)
- Oops.
- "Get the rope - NOW!"
- HO: "Can't you just cut it down?" Me: "Do you want to keep the house?"
- "Can you just bring your tractor over for a few minutes?"
- "No problem, you can use my trailer." (a 1200# trailer to haul a 10000lb machine)


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## John Paul Sanborn (Jun 20, 2011)

Neighbor asks "I've a small pile in back, could you chip it up?"
"$25"
"I'ts just a small pile!"
"Would you give me something for nothing?"


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## tree MDS (Jun 21, 2011)

If I can't handle that thing, it's time to hang up the saddle!

There are no big trees, only small men!


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## treeclimber101 (Jun 21, 2011)

"I can run anything that blows smoke "


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## zopi (Jun 21, 2011)

ya might shoulda put another wrap on that eh? Well, at least it missed you...


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## tree md (Jun 21, 2011)

"If I have to come out of this tree to show you how I'm going to be pissed"


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## millbilly (Jun 21, 2011)

*sayings*

you wouldn't make a pimple on a groundmans azz
what, are you building a nest?
stop making all the dog ####s


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## John Paul Sanborn (Jun 21, 2011)

Was that piece a little big???

You were looking like superman for a few seconds there!


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## TreEmergencyB (Jun 21, 2011)

this thread is great we need to make a top 10 outa it


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## jefflovstrom (Jun 21, 2011)

TreEmergencyB said:


> this thread is great we need to make a top 10 outa it


 
Yeah, It will look great with all the deadwood out.


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## Slvrmple72 (Jun 23, 2011)

I really need to stop using this rope to lower stuff on.
I think its got one more in [email protected]#$%!


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## DeAvilaTree (Jun 26, 2011)

Feel like a bag of bashed a##holes


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## tree md (Jun 26, 2011)

You got luckier than a sissy with two a##holes on that one...


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## sgreanbeans (Jul 1, 2011)

New one-Just say NOT

This is your arse, this is your arse with a foot in it, any questions


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## TreeAce (Jul 1, 2011)

I am not yelling at you...I am talking load so you can hear me!!


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## prentice110 (Jul 1, 2011)

Working a tornado in the bucket with 2 newbies made me come up with this one last week...... GRAB AND RUN!!!!


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## sgreanbeans (Jul 2, 2011)

TreeAce said:


> I am not yelling at you...I am talking load so you can hear me!!


 That is so true!


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## flushcut (Jul 2, 2011)

Hay, is this going to clear the house?


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## beastmaster (Jul 2, 2011)

to trimmer: leave some for the birds. climb past that dog leg, and cut them donkey d- -KS. Then work on that schoolmarm. I didn't do it. Is this stuff mixed already? It'll go, for sure, maybe. Mucho trubajo, poco dinero. dumb tree trimmers, and old tree trimmers, but no old dumb tree trimmers. Stop screwing the pooch and get some work done. If your scared, their hiring at taco bell. want us to send your lunch up? We have one more small job after this. Put your purse down and finish the tree. I think they put the dog up


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## sgreanbeans (Jul 4, 2011)

beastmaster said:


> We have one more small job after this.



Love it


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## John Paul Sanborn (Jul 4, 2011)

They'll take it down and grind the stump for How Much? Check their insurance!


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## treeclimber101 (Jul 6, 2011)

Oh yea, Of course that sawdust and sap will wash right off your car .....


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## sgreanbeans (Jul 7, 2011)

You said you wanted a sky light


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## peregordusmc (Jul 7, 2011)

All we have to do is get the top out and its smooth sailing from there.

Will you do it for the wood?

Running Bowline is the only knot you need to know! (said to dad to get him all fired up lol)

It'll hold, should anyways.

This will work. In theory anyways.

This is stupid!!! Let's just cut it from the ground!!!


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## beastmaster (Jul 7, 2011)

Ho: Its kind of thin, don't you think? Yeah, hope it don't die.


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## TreEmergencyB (Jul 7, 2011)

I been known to sing a lil tune as i start up a tree not really a saying but,

Its a long way to the top, if you wanna rock n roll!


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## sgreanbeans (Jul 8, 2011)

swinging in the tree tops all day long, rocking out his little song (sumtin like dat)
Rockin Robbin, tweet tweet, Rockin Robbin, tweetle tweet................a tweet tweet


My F-I-L sings that song everytime I go up and he is there.
So know when I do climb, on the rare occassion, that song is always in my head.


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## flushcut (Jul 8, 2011)

sgreanbeans said:


> swinging in the tree tops all day long, rocking out his little song (sumtin like dat)
> Rockin Robbin, tweet tweet, Rockin Robbin, tweetle tweet................a tweet tweet
> 
> 
> ...


 
Well, you could crap on his car just to even things up.


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## sgreanbeans (Jul 9, 2011)

flushcut said:


> Well, you could crap on his car just to even things up.



ahhhhhhhhhhhhh! yur killing me, spit coffee again!


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## prentice110 (Jul 9, 2011)

I worked for this guy WAYYYYYY back when, that would start singing Aerosmiths Back in the saddle again EVERYTIME he put his saddle on. I was at that co for almost a year, and he did it I swear, almost every day.


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## oscar4883 (Jul 9, 2011)

Boss when looking at 1/2 inch rigging line: "We've used worse. Not much worse, but worse."

That lawn doesn't look as bad as I thought it was going to look when we got done.


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## John Paul Sanborn (Jul 9, 2011)

"Pull harder" "No!, You cut cut more!"


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## jefflovstrom (Jul 9, 2011)

John Paul Sanborn said:


> "Pull harder" "No!, You cut cut more!"


 
I can't, my 'man-suit; is at the cleaner's',
Mybe Monday.......................................
Jeff


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## husabud (Jul 10, 2011)

Notch it and Watch it.


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## prentice110 (Jul 18, 2011)

I cant believe I forgot this one. Boss-"WHERE NO BUCKETS BEEN BEFORE!!!!" Me-"Dont you mean where no bucket ever shouldve gone?". Often said before someone pays for a $300 winch out.


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## TreeAce (Jul 18, 2011)

Man its hot...Heard that alot today. Even said it myself a couple times.


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## sgreanbeans (Jul 20, 2011)

" I dont know what this thing is gonna do, so WATCH OUT" My F-I-L


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## no tree to big (Jul 20, 2011)

me to crane op/foreman every saturday we work "are you hung over again?" 
foreman" yea not feeling to good" 
ME" if you almost kill me one more time because your hung over I'm kicking your ass"


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## tree md (Jul 20, 2011)

Me after felling a butt puckerer... BINGO!!!


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## TreEmergencyB (Jul 20, 2011)

tree md said:


> Me after felling a butt puckerer... BINGO!!!


 
another one bites the dust


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## capetrees (Jul 21, 2011)

I tell everyone that works with me, short term or long, " keep in mind, you're guaranteed to get hit with something hard at least once a day" After the "hit", they wake up and pay attention. Usually happens before 10 am.


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## jefflovstrom (Jul 21, 2011)

If I see anyone with their hands in their pockets, they are off the clock.
Jeff:msp_sneaky:


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## flushcut (Aug 2, 2011)

Don't cluster #### it!


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## zopi (Aug 3, 2011)

Had a hinky pine top that I did not want to ride....notched, back cut, line out to the truck....waled out and set my gatorade on the ground in >that< spot....backed the yruck up three feet...walked over and set down in a chair next to the HO...."watch this." Ten seconds....twenty...crack...BOOM! The tips went either side of my gatorade...

"I love it when a plan comes together..."


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## zopi (Aug 3, 2011)

"Buck it up, and suck it up!"


----------



## iamdevildog (Aug 3, 2011)

my groundie to me (climbing) at least twice a day "man you got lucky on that one"
groundies to me "we were just thinkin' you should do it this way"
and it's always either "don't pull so F###### hard" or "F###### pull harder"


----------



## jefflovstrom (Aug 3, 2011)

Hey! What are you doing?
Jeff


----------



## UtahTreeGuy (Aug 4, 2011)

*"You almost got numb-chucked, Jim"*

After I snapped the top out of the top of 80 ft elm. The block and a 4 ft long 6" across chunk of leader literally tomahawked into the ground 3 ft in front of Duane. Chris was behind him and says "Uh... you almost got numb-chucked thar Jim" They were laughing and I was just shaking my head in shame :msp_scared: That thing was going so fast that it was just like it appeared at there feet magically! Thank you. God! I had taken out a section of vinyl fence for access to the backyard from a field and it landed in the opening, :msp_rolleyes:. Three onlookers from a ways back were watching and I was like :jester: Oh, well got get them experience points somehow, I guess. hmm..... why am I telling you this, 

Chris used to always say "Dear Lord baby Jesus" during the pucker factor stuff.


----------



## UtahTreeGuy (Aug 4, 2011)

*"What-cho tink dis izz, da mowvies mawn?"*

I was training a Jamaican kid named Reno how to climb. I am doing the usual trained monkey kinda stuff and was telling him "okay, tie that running bowline there now" So when it comes time for the " Now just cut it right there at your feet" Reno says "What-choo tink dis izz, da mowvies mawn?":biggrin:. I never did get him to cut it, I had to go up and be the star of the show.:kilt:


----------



## UtahTreeGuy (Aug 4, 2011)

*"Your either high, or stupid, and I don't think your stupid!"*

As I fired a guy that was not quite getting stuff. I had waited for an appropriate time and He denied being high, until I showed him the pipe that fell out of his car into my shop that morning and said "so you don't want this back then" I would have just warned him if he wasn't so stupid when he was high.


----------



## Job Corps Tree (Aug 10, 2011)

*Tree guy saying*

look up and live, Big and but heavy, Come Monday I will be working for you or your Competition how do you want it? New groundee Dumb as arock but he is learning


----------



## stihl.logger (Aug 25, 2011)

me: ahh, this ones not too bad
HO: well what about those power lines?
me: sure would be a shocker if i hit em wouldn't it?
HO: haha (half worried) but do you think anything will hit my house?
me: well if it does, you'll have a new sky light and i wont even bother charging you for it
HO: boy, i sure am glad you have insurance.... you do have insurance right?
me: oh dont worry i stayed at a holliday inn express last night

job went without a hitch and i even got a $150 dollar tip for my "sense of humor" so he says


----------



## tree md (Aug 25, 2011)

It's not the wheel that deals, it's the nut that cuts... :yoyo:


----------



## John Paul Sanborn (Aug 26, 2011)

Did i say "If you aint Bleedin, You aint Working!" yet?

HO today doing some back-yard throwball rigging. Wow, that's an art, not just a skill!"

I reply "the art and science of making do with what you have, to minimize your effort"

"you do make it look easy"

I counted the money a few hours after i left, thinking the cash in hand was an effort to wheedle me down. I counted it a few hour later while waiting for my Mom to finish up with a cardio-gram. I had to call him back 

"did you mean to tip me $40?"

"Yes i actually did, it was fun watching you work.

"Why thankyou very much!"


----------



## derwoodii (Aug 26, 2011)

Lefty loosey righty tighty, saw chain adjustment made easy.


----------



## ripplerider (Aug 28, 2011)

"You gonna get that done before I draw social security?" this from a 30 yr. old. "We're not cutting firewood" when you're cutting stuff too small (when climbing.)


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## oscar4883 (Aug 29, 2011)

"I knew there would be a friggin tree on a house at 3 o'clock." Muttered by my partner after the boss called us at 3:07 on an unusually calm post storm day.


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## lostcoastland (Aug 29, 2011)

*Tree Sayings*

Homeowners say.. Wow your like spiderman!, Where did you learn to do that?! I have freinds that have lots of trees you'd love it. What do you do with the wood? What a mess. Wow you guys really cleaned up good.

My old boss, Anjoe LiPuma always said, "I gotta warn ya , were gonna tip toe through the tulips; but i got some big feet. Also. "You gotta break a few eggs to make an omlette"..."get a couple fat guys on it" Get some 20 year olds on it." "2 cuts" ( for removals)..Everything was a saying for him..Bring the wood to Willy the Weasel's or Angry George..who ran a mulch yard and was super paranoid about fires and had tons of rules. Or " Buzzard Job's"quick cash side jobs... or the actual Buzzard who had the log loader and would grapple 1500lb chunks so we didnt have to load it by hand. "Buttercup"- stump grinder guy who didnt liek lacing his boots sometimes wore tennis shoes... had the big vermeer every stump was a buttercup cuz he "Ain't Afraid of No Stump" on his duramax with a circle and crossed out old stumpie face.

" Make a little Noise"
Favorite One to Hear Ever after good productive day...."Hey you guys want something to drink i got beer.


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## John Paul Sanborn (Aug 30, 2011)

You're like a squirrill up there!

I'm too big for a squirrill, more like a three toed sloth, kindqa slow, but work through it quickly with power and efficiency.

"Are you taking the whole thing down" the neighbor asks while I am doing a fine prune...

One twig at a time sir, one twig at a time...


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## jefflovstrom (Aug 30, 2011)

Hey Boss, can you bail me out and I will pay you back?


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## Toddppm (Aug 31, 2011)

John Paul Sanborn said:


> You're like a squirrill up there!
> 
> I'm too big for a squirrill, more like a three toed sloth, kindqa slow, but work through it quickly with power and efficiency.
> 
> ...


 

or "are you taking that tree down?" with nothing but the trunk left standing. Here's your sign.


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## climber338 (Aug 31, 2011)

At the old company i worked at one of the other old employees said. 

" It doesnt start, chain break doesnt work, nuts and bolts are missing, the bar is bent, the teeth that are on the chain are not sharp and he expects me to use this thing and hurry up??? Thats no saw thats a wheel chock i guess im felling this thing with your climbing saw!!!! 

needless to say we dont deal for them anymore.... 

This thread reminded me of that day. Sometimes large corporate companies are to cheap to buy the right tool for the job and then ask why there profits are down!!!!!!!!!


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## NORTREE (Sep 2, 2011)

"Lunch is at 5 o'Clock and its in a Red and White Can"


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## capetrees (Sep 4, 2011)

Toddppm said:


> or "are you taking that tree down?" with nothing but the trunk left standing. Here's your sign.


 
When they ask, my groundie always replies, "no, we're just taking the bottom half"

Even better, a neighbor has been known to come out and ask "do you have the owners permission to take that down?"


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## bomar (Sep 5, 2011)

"cant get a bucket to it #### it" more for line clearence guys


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## kcmo (Sep 6, 2011)

a tree trimmers hell.your in the middle of a forest tied in high, your devil looks at you with a butter knife and says top'em all.


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## treefaller25 (Sep 6, 2011)

RUN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:ah:


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## treefaller25 (Sep 6, 2011)

Its okay, stay in the truck I'll get this one!:looser:


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## ljhwolf (Sep 7, 2011)

"We gotta get THAT TREE into THAT TRUCK!"


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## jefflovstrom (Sep 7, 2011)

nathanQQ said:


> artificial trees and plants keep your home interior green in so few efforts.
> I am using it from last 1 year and Its just great to see even to maintain.


 
I will shut up for now. First post and can not even say 'hi', I will shut up.
Jeff :bang:


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## James_fr (Sep 7, 2011)

*I'm Done With That*

After a fart... you can have that i'm done with it


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## ljhwolf (Sep 8, 2011)

*"Look at me and I'll show you how to tie it!"*

When there is a rookie on the ground


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## sgreanbeans (Sep 8, 2011)

"DONT LISTEN TO HIM, LISTEN TO ME"

"Tell that crane operator he better know what the chuk he is doing, if not, Ill be pissed"- Matt M/Prentice110


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## k5alive (Sep 8, 2011)

HEADACHE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :bulgy-eyes:
never take sides against the climber !
Yank that sum a ##### !!!!!!!!


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## TreeAce (Sep 8, 2011)

After being rained out yesterday....I hear this today. "I didnt know we was working today cuz u didnt call n tell me we was workn today" WHAT????...."well...it was really cloudy so i figured we prolly not workn so i went back to sleep" ....


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## John Paul Sanborn (Sep 10, 2011)

You don't want to do that? Here's some bus money then, yer fired.


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## Timbit (Sep 14, 2011)

A tree climber always looks for the best crotch to throw a leg over.


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## sgreanbeans (Sep 15, 2011)

Tree Topping = Domestic Tree Violence, aka DTV, it is a very serious domestic issue, defenseless trees are often the beating post of several inbreed, meth head, sister dating individuals. If you know a tree that has been a victim of DTV please call the DTV hotline. You can also send a donation to the DTV prevention task force.


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## flushcut (Sep 15, 2011)

sgreanbeans said:


> Tree Topping = Domestic Tree Violence, aka DTV, it is a very serious domestic issue, defenseless trees are often the beating post of several inbreed, meth head, sister dating individuals. If you know a tree that has been a victim of DTV please call the DTV hotline. You can also send a donation to the DTV prevention task force.


 
I am guessing checks should be made out to sgreanbeans and mailed to your house. :hmm3grin2orange:


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## John Paul Sanborn (Sep 15, 2011)

Timbit said:


> A tree climber always looks for the best crotch to throw a leg over.


 
Tree chicks dig big wood...


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## flushcut (Sep 16, 2011)

John Paul Sanborn said:


> Tree chicks dig big wood...


 
And climbers like smooth crotches


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## stihl.logger (Sep 23, 2011)

people (buyers) come from miles to check out and put a scale on my hardwood. (something told to the greenies, not so much the log buyers lol)


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