# Help Me Mr. Wizards



## slowp (Sep 13, 2011)

Got my _*Game of Logging*_ info today. It doesn't say much. It says these scary words "come prepared to be actively falling timber all day."
But, they don't start at daylight, they start at 9AM. 

My list of preparations? 
Ibuprofen
Coffee
More Coffee
Whiskey for afterwards with more ibuprofen.

I only know how much it hurt when I was 20 something...for the first week.

Any other advice will be welcome.


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## paccity (Sep 13, 2011)

i would try to keep the snarky coments to a min,. keep us posted.


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## slowp (Sep 13, 2011)

paccity said:


> i would try to keep the snarky coments to a min,. keep us posted.



I don't know enough about falling to be snarky. I plan to use my Barbie Saw with short 28 inch bar.


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## madhatte (Sep 13, 2011)

"Short"? That thing's a Monster. Might want to pick up a 16" B/C if you're gonna roll with that crowd. Also consider Husqvarna-branded clothing and accessories. Now't I think about it, a 440 is really too big a saw for anything smaller than OG walnut; you owe it to yourself to pick up a 346 to match the rest of the Husky kit. You want the full "head condom" style helmet with the big, bright flap on the back. Oh, and you'll want to get really worked up when you "safely" fell your first 4" alder using a bewildering series of bore cuts that take a half an hour and use a half a case of wedges. 

(truth is, I actually intend to take a GOL course at my earliest convenience, as I'm curious if there's useful tricks to be learned, and I can always use another bullet on my resume)


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## slowp (Sep 13, 2011)

I guess I could take the 20 inch bar. I don't have as many chains for it though. I could also throw in Old Sparkless. But he weighs about the same as The Barbie Saw.


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## Rounder (Sep 13, 2011)

madhatte said:


> "Short"? That thing's a Monster. Might want to pick up a 16" B/C if you're gonna roll with that crowd. Also consider Husqvarna-branded clothing and accessories. Now't I think about it, a 440 is really too big a saw for anything smaller than OG walnut; you owe it to yourself to pick up a 346 to match the rest of the Husky kit. You want the full "head condom" style helmet with the big, bright flap on the back. Oh, and you'll want to get really worked up when you "safely" fell your first 4" alder using a bewildering series of bore cuts that take a half an hour and use a half a case of wedges.
> 
> (truth is, I actually intend to take a GOL course at my earliest convenience, as I'm curious if there's useful tricks to be learned, and I can always use another bullet on my resume)


 
What he said, and 20 wedges and lots of orange clothing, the more the better. Like that bright orange forester's vest that's probably tucked away somewhereumpkin2: - Sam


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## slowp (Sep 13, 2011)

mtsamloggit said:


> What he said, and 20 wedges and lots of orange clothing, the more the better. Like that bright orange forester's vest that's probably tucked away somewhereumpkin2: - Sam



It is smeared with green paint but would have lots of pockets to keep coffee and ibuprofin handy. It smells a bit too. I am a firm believer in never washing a cruising vest in the hopes that someday even the flies and mosquitoes would find it repulsive. :msp_wink:

I'll take the blue wedge. It will really help.


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## Rounder (Sep 13, 2011)

slowp said:


> It is smeared with green paint but would have lots of pockets to keep coffee and ibuprofin handy. It smells a bit too. I am a firm believer in never washing a cruising vest in the hopes that someday even the flies and mosquitoes would find it repulsive. :msp_wink:
> 
> I'll take the blue wedge. It will really help.


 
I've still got mine from college days, it's now the bird hunting vest......mosquitioes don't come near me......kind of a mix of old bird and wet dog smell.

Better go with an orange wedge......safety first!


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## slowp (Sep 13, 2011)

Here's the list. They aren't even supplying cookies or donuts! I'll take some peanut M&Ms. Those got me through several hours of engineer testing. 

_Start Time:

Each day of the workshop is scheduled from 9:00 am – 5:00 pm. Please plan to arrive at least 15 minutes early on the first day in order to unload your gear, get signed in and be ready to go by 9:00.



Food & Beverages:

You will be responsible for your own lunch, snacks and beverages. Please plan to bring plenty of water and fuel to get you through the day. You will be actively cutting timber both days, so please plan to bring enough nourishment to keep you going and in a good mood!



What to bring:

These items are required: chainsaw, file, oil & gas, safety equipment (helmet, chaps, ear & eye protection, gloves)

Additional items: food, water, camera, pen & paper, weather appropriate clothing, sturdy boots
_


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## Rounder (Sep 13, 2011)

No coffee or doughnuts....that's ####in' bull####! Don't go! At least they reminded you to bring a file.......the gas and oil will probably help too.........


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## forestryworks (Sep 13, 2011)

slowp said:


> Got my _*Game of Logging*_ info today. It doesn't say much. It says these scary words "come prepared to be actively falling timber all day."


 
A GOL brochure actually said the word *falling* and not _felling_?! Holy toledo, the world is ending, hell has frozen over and pigs have flown!


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## lfnh (Sep 13, 2011)

forestryworks said:


> A GOL brochure actually said the word *falling* and not _felling_?! Holy toledo, the world is ending, hell has frozen over and pigs have flown!


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## lfnh (Sep 13, 2011)

may i suggest a brandi-new barbie pen to sign in.

a battery powered chainsaw would be a _novelty_ 


i gots a whole roll of nickels for the parking meter on this thread.


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## Sport Faller (Sep 13, 2011)

mtsamloggit said:


> No coffee or doughnuts....that's ####in' bull####! Don't go! At least they reminded you to bring a file.......the gas and oil will probably help too.........


 
Cheap ass mother####ers, they prolly charge for parking too, and I bet that it's a "tobacco free campus"

also, having to wear ear protection is horse####, that should be a personal choice


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## slowp (Sep 13, 2011)

I'm toying with the idea of wearing my blue plastic hardhat to accessorize with the blue wedge. However, my Mac T has a bit of ancient orange on it that would bring out the fall tones of the orange wedges--and is more comfy.

Ooops, my bad. The write up uses cutting, not falling. We shall be cutters...easier not to get confused that way.


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## RandyMac (Sep 13, 2011)

Ferchristsakes don't punch any of them, no matter how dweby they are.


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## dancan (Sep 13, 2011)

slowp said:


> _
> What to bring:
> 
> These items are required: chainsaw, file, oil & gas, safety equipment (helmet, chaps, ear & eye protection, gloves)
> ...


 
I'm not picking on anybody's personal choice of PPE but I thought GOL was all about safety , where does "sturdy boots" fit in chainsaws and safety ?


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## slowp (Sep 13, 2011)

RandyMac said:


> Ferchristsakes don't punch any of them, no matter how dweby they are.



I don't want to hurt my hands. Maybe a tossed rock?


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## 2dogs (Sep 13, 2011)

How's about a nice blue Spencer tape to go with the wedge? I guess that might scare the instructors though.


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## Sport Faller (Sep 13, 2011)

slowp said:


> I don't want to hurt my hands. Maybe a tossed rock?


 
boxing somebody's ears with the blue wedge will also get their attention


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## lfnh (Sep 13, 2011)

big red lumber crayon to draw the felling[SUP]cuts[/SUP] and tally [SUB]the logs[/SUB].

can always resort to chewing on the crayons while studying the stump..


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## 2dogs (Sep 13, 2011)

Could you borrow someone's log truck to show up in?


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## LoggingEngineer (Sep 14, 2011)

Tin hat all the way! Got any pics of the barbie saw? Is it really pink??


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## RandyMac (Sep 14, 2011)

lfnh said:


> big red lumber crayon to draw the felling[SUP]cuts[/SUP] and tally [SUB]the logs[/SUB].
> 
> can always resort to chewing on the crayons while studying the stump..


 
Make sure those are new crayons, the old ones had lead in them.


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## lfnh (Sep 14, 2011)

RandyMac said:


> Make sure those are new crayons, the old ones had lead in them.


 
yup, miss those old sweet yelllow #2 pencils, lol!


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## redprospector (Sep 14, 2011)

RandyMac said:


> Make sure those are new crayons, the old ones had lead in them.


 
Well, ok then. That might answer a few questions that have been asked about me.

Andy


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## Gologit (Sep 14, 2011)

You want to borrow my old Mac-T? The one you wore when you were down here, with all the dents and dings? It's got character.

I know you don't use snoose but try chewing black licorice like we did when we were kids...the spit looks the same.

Mumble a lot. 

Practice your "logger stare". You know, the one that discourages further conversation.

Drop start your saw.

When you're not actually cutting stand the saw vertically with the bar tip on the ground and lean on the power head. Engine off, of course.

Use gypo jugs.

Wear the Kuliens.

I'll think of more later. Gotta go to the woods.


Oh...like Randy says...don't hit anybody. At least don't hit anybody _important_.


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## slowp (Sep 14, 2011)

I definitely have the mumble part down well. The stare is what we call "The Stink Eye". I think I have that down well too. Shall I yell, "Need a tool biatch." when I need help with saw maintenance? 

The Barbie Saw is not pink but has glittery Barbie Stickers of flowers and Barbies and BARBIE on it. The saw shop guys swarm around it laughing when I bring it in. I wanted to de-manliness it so nobody else would want to use it. 

No thank you. I will use my own Mac T as it doesn't have those red reflectors on it. Those would ruin the ensemble.

Perhaps the crayons, pronounced crens, are flavored now?


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## Samlock (Sep 14, 2011)

- Lots of orange is good. The orange flap on the back of a helmet certainly looks goofy, but actually it is practical - keeps the debris, rain and snow out of the (red) neck. A piece of an orange plastic bag should do it.

- A pair of LARGE earmuffs. Preferably orange.

- A pocket size first aid kit (a good stash for the gummy bears to be worn with the earmuffs).

- Safety distance: At least 2 X the length of the tree. Don't go any closer!

- Chain brake - always keep it on. Throttle - oh yes - click - throttle. Drives people crazy.


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## Joe46 (Sep 14, 2011)

+1 on the gypo jugs. Tied together with a leather boot lace(so you always have a spare).


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## lfnh (Sep 14, 2011)

Perhaps these might be helpful as a mental frame of reference. Kinda like a picture is worth a thousand words. Well then a movie _has got _to be better. Right ?

*Precision Boring Techniques*

[video=youtube;UZLBtFdmKKU]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UZLBtFdmKKU[/video]


*Dealing with Heavy Head Leaners*

[video=youtube;Xx7J3JMlZlU]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xx7J3JMlZlU&feature=related[/video]

On the otherhand, Flash Cards and some early ZZ Top might be more soothing after the 9-5 work out.

Just trying to be helpful...


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## 2dogs (Sep 14, 2011)

Is that video really demonstrating how GOL deals with a heavy head leaner?! Can you imagine if that were a 3' D-fir or redwood and you had the cut an open face notch 4' tall and two feet deep? What a crock! Does the wind not blow in GOL-land? Do you have to stop and touch yourself after each cut or can you just put the friggin tree on the ground? Those people don't what a heavy head leaner really is.

I have a leaning 6 dbh' goose pen redwood that is over 200' tall to take down any time now. I wonder what GOLiphiles would do in that situation. Any time and every time I size up a tree I use the best technique I can think of. I would never become a GOL votary!


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## lfnh (Sep 15, 2011)

...the "face" in the leaner was truely machete work. no wonder the clip board dude just walked away....he did look up though. just once.
the precision hinge one was just. something. else. and the exit from the stump was a perfect 90. look up. never. not even a quick glance. It should be put over in the wedges thread. I learned wedges are good for drawing lines on the stump. Never seen that one before. 
Maybe it's related to throwing rocks... 

(mods can we get a Darwin smilie ?)


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## 2dogs (Sep 15, 2011)

lfnh said:


> ...the "face" in the leaner was truely machete work. no wonder the clip board dude just walked away....he did look up though. just once.
> the precision hinge one was just. something. else. and the exit from the stump was a perfect 90. look up. never. not even a quick glance. It should be put over in the wedges thread. I learned wedges are good for drawing lines on the stump. Never seen that one before.
> Maybe it's related to throwing rocks...
> 
> (mods can we get a Darwin smilie ?)


 
Or maybe a GOL smirk.


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## lfnh (Sep 15, 2011)

GOL smirk.
that's it. one click answer.


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## dave k (Sep 15, 2011)

I assume you intend to stun them, the rest of the class, when you break out the Slopping back cut ?
Im feeling a bit sensitive now as I sit here at the visiting head of state residence in Dublin in my Husky protective trousers, orange Husky jacket and waiting to put on my orange Stihl helmet with back flap... just waiting for a passerby to call me a dweeb ! Still it's an easy day Im just here as rescue climber, HSE requirement, and will stand and watch my pal climb a Redwood to knock out a broken branch.


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## Gologit (Sep 15, 2011)

2dogs said:


> I would never become a GOL votary!


 
Not even if they gave you one of those ultra-chic GOL hats?


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## floyd (Sep 15, 2011)

You're braver than me.

I thought we decided they didn't give you a hat?

They won't even feed you food. Course a hat don't come with it.


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## slowp (Sep 15, 2011)

It looks like the Scandihoovian Candle making might have been good practice. 

Will I be OK with my green chaps??


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## Sport Faller (Sep 15, 2011)

slowp said:


> It looks like the Scandihoovian Candle making might have been good practice.
> 
> Will I be OK with my green chaps??


 
hmmmm, that's a pretty grey area Patti, if you bought some reflective tape and took a few wraps around your legs after you put the chaps on in would be prolly only be half smirked at, also a long strip of ref. tape and both sides of the Barbie saw's bar might be in order. If you really want get in the good graces of the powers that be you should get one of those deer-scare garden windchimes that have the long billowy reflective tails and hang it from the back of your tin hat :msp_biggrin:


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## Sport Faller (Sep 15, 2011)

floyd said:


> You're braver than me.
> 
> I thought we decided they didn't give you a hat?
> 
> They won't even feed you food. Course a hat don't come with it.


 
ohhh yeah, geeze, the hat only comes with the 5 part DVD series _Log safer, slower, harder_ that's only 5 easy payment of 19.99 plus s+h*




*shipping and handling is 29.95 even if you pick it up in person, because hey, it had to be shipped from somewhere and they've been handling it


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## slowp (Sep 15, 2011)

I've not seen one of those windchimes. Must be a Montaaaana thing?


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## Samlock (Sep 15, 2011)

dave k said:


> Im feeling a bit sensitive now as I sit here at the visiting head of state residence in Dublin in my Husky protective trousers, orange Husky jacket and waiting to put on my orange Stihl helmet with back flap... just waiting for a passerby to call me a dweeb !



Orange walk in Dublin??? I'm glad you had your helmet on, in case of some Molotov's cocktails (on the rocks).



> 2dogs
> Is that video really demonstrating how GOL deals with a heavy head leaner?! Can you imagine if that were a 3' D-fir or redwood and you had the cut an open face notch 4' tall and two feet deep? What a crock! Does the wind not blow in GOL-land? Do you have to stop and touch yourself after each cut or can you just put the friggin tree on the ground? Those people don't what a heavy head leaner really is.



Haha, 2dogs, this may not surprise you a lot, but I've actually used that cut ("beaver cut") maybe 3-4 times in real life. All face and no back cut it is. The idea was to make the tree to go over slowly in order to get the top past a wire or an eave without breaking it.


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## 2dogs (Sep 15, 2011)

Samlock said:


> Orange walk in Dublin??? I'm glad you had your helmet on, in case of some Molotov's cocktails (on the rocks).
> 
> 
> 
> Haha, 2dogs, this may not surprise you a lot, but I've actually used that cut ("beaver cut") maybe 3-4 times in real life. All face and no back cut it is. The idea was to make the tree to go over slowly in order to get the top past a wire or an eave without breaking it.


 
I have used the scooping beaver cut on springpoles but never falling.


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## slowp (Sep 15, 2011)

I'll probably flunk out because that tree, from what I could see, didn't even look like it was leaning. Maybe the camera was at the wrong angle. Maybe my head is tilted? Did it lean??:rolleyes2:


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## Metals406 (Sep 15, 2011)

I just watched another GOL video on TheTube. I don't have the energy to list everything I saw that was unsafe.

But I will say this: FER CHRISTSAKES!! SHARPEN YOUR DAMN CHAIN!!

Are dull chains a GOL requirement for "safety"?


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## Sport Faller (Sep 15, 2011)

Metals406 said:


> I just watched another GOL video on TheTube. I don't have the energy to list everything I saw that was unsafe.
> 
> But I will say this: FER CHRISTSAKES!! SHARPEN YOUR DAMN CHAIN!!
> 
> Are dull chains a GOL requirement for "safety"?


 
Makin her a little dusty instead of chips huh? :hmm3grin2orange: they're prolly using dull green label safety chain, hey it's got the word "safety" in the product name

the next step in the GOL evolution will probably be the guy who invented the "bearproof" metal suit sportin an eager beaver with rescue crew depth limiter installed


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## 8433jeff (Sep 15, 2011)

Flatlander subscription.


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## lfnh (Sep 15, 2011)

Metals406 said:


> I just watched another GOL video on TheTube. I don't have the energy to list everything I saw that was unsafe.
> 
> But I will say this: FER CHRISTSAKES!! SHARPEN YOUR DAMN CHAIN!!
> 
> Are dull chains a GOL requirement for "safety"?


 
Yup. and waiting for the one that shows up with a full face respirator..


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## lfnh (Sep 15, 2011)

slowp said:


> I'll probably flunk out because that tree, from what I could see, didn't even look like it was leaning. Maybe the camera was at the wrong angle. Maybe my head is tilted? Did it lean??:rolleyes2:


 
probly the pink sunglasses help with perspective.


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## 2dogs (Sep 15, 2011)

slowp said:


> I'll probably flunk out because that tree, from what I could see, didn't even look like it was leaning. Maybe the camera was at the wrong angle. Maybe my head is tilted? Did it lean??:rolleyes2:


 
GOLlum said it was leanining so it WAS leaning. slowp you are gonna be dern lucky if the GOLers don't tie you to a "post" and burn you as a heretic. You best not ask any questions.


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## Metals406 (Sep 15, 2011)

*Dude, tighten your chain more. . . It can still move. . . Barely. Oh, and nice framing hammer.* 

<iframe width="420" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/J4OWrJ5eHw8" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>


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## Metals406 (Sep 15, 2011)

That video shows safe sawdust production. . . Production of chips is a tripping hazard, and also less degradable.


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## lfnh (Sep 15, 2011)

Wonder if GOL'ers have GTGs and if so, what goes on ?


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## Sport Faller (Sep 15, 2011)

Metals406 said:


> *Dude, tighten your chain more. . . It can still move. . . Barely. Oh, and nice framing hammer.*
> 
> <iframe width="420" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/J4OWrJ5eHw8" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>


 
before I watched this video I didn't think I could actually hear a sprocket nose degrading and a chain stretching, but i was wrong, also the Greenies probably hate GOL, every tree they cut down also comes with a 1 acre circumference clear cut :jester:


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## slowp (Sep 15, 2011)

2dogs said:


> GOLlum said it was leanining so it WAS leaning. slowp you are gonna be dern lucky if the GOLers don't tie you to a "post" and burn you as a heretic. You best not ask any questions.



I am merely a retired forester type. My friends who pay me in hotdogs, beer, and I-Cut firewood, have a patch of Christmas Trees gone wild, that they want thinned. I hope GOL teaches limb unlocking techniques so we won't have to hook up the tractor to pull them down. I suspect it will be a lot of tractor hooking up. 

30 years ago, they planted regular Doug-fir for Christmas trees and found out that in our area, one has to plant Christmas Tree stock to get the beautiful trees. So, I have been invited to a thinning. Maybe I'll get some green firewood out of it or small Scandihoovian candles. It should be fun, we usually burn stuff and practice our recreational lying.


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## slowp (Sep 15, 2011)

I'm not too thrilled with all the reaching around, and walking around the trees that they do in those videos. It just isn't the same as the 
"Gotta tilt yer hat" then smoothly cut the big tree down in the Pat/Greenwedge video.


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## Metals406 (Sep 15, 2011)

A saying comes to mind with all this GOL stuff. . . "Gear Queer".

A Gear Queer, is all rigging and no yarder -- Or as Jameson says, "All hat and no cattle."

So, I think they should rename the course GQL -- *G*ear *Q*ueers' of *L*ogging.


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## lfnh (Sep 15, 2011)

the leaning over constantly checking where the tip was and the final in ur face look was a real gem.


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## Slamm (Sep 15, 2011)

bigskyjake said:


> before I watched this video I didn't think I could actually hear a sprocket nose degrading and a chain stretching, but i was wrong, also the Greenies probably hate GOL, every tree they cut down also comes with a 1 acre circumference clear cut :jester:


 
LOL, thats one of the things that I noticed, they cut every dammm thing down around the tree. If you can cut the 8.8-11.5" diameter tree from one side, why are they de-foresting the other side of the tree???? LOL.

I mean the "fence post" guy was cutting stuff that was 20 feet away that had nothing to do with where he was cutting or where he needed to go, LOL. I would have had the tree down in the time it takes them to de-sappling the forest floor, LOL.

Good stuff,

Sam


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## forestryworks (Sep 15, 2011)

Metals406 said:


> *Dude, tighten your chain more. . . It can still move. . . Barely. Oh, and nice framing hammer.*
> 
> <iframe width="420" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/J4OWrJ5eHw8" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>


 
I'm gonna have to start chewing nails to get through this...


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## Sport Faller (Sep 15, 2011)

Slamm said:


> LOL, thats one of the things that I noticed, they cut every dammm thing down around the tree. If you can cut the 8.8-11.5" diameter tree from one side, why are they de-foresting the other side of the tree???? LOL.
> 
> I mean the "fence post" guy was cutting stuff that was 20 feet away that had nothing to do with where he was cutting or where he needed to go, LOL. I would have had the tree down in the time it takes them to de-sappling the forest floor, LOL.
> 
> ...


 
Yeah, if it's a good sized tree on steep, ####ty terrain, with a bunch of underbrush then by all means, clear yourself a getaway but that guy was on ground that's about as steep and underbrushy as my front yard


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## slowp (Sep 15, 2011)

I wish he'd been along yesterday. I needed a trail cut through the 6 foot high huckleberry brush. The Used Dog and I foolishly fought our way though that stuff to get to a smelly pond. 

He could have cut it while I was picking berries. Except with all that peering around, it might have taken him too long to cut the trail. And the huckleberry brush was definitely leaning.


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## Metals406 (Sep 15, 2011)

slowp said:


> I wish he'd been along yesterday. I needed a trail cut through the 6 foot high huckleberry brush. The Used Dog and I foolishly fought our way though that stuff to get to a smelly pond.
> 
> He could have cut it while I was picking berries. Except with all that peering around, it might have taken him too long to cut the trail. And the huckleberry brush was definitely leaning.


 
Did you have a planned escape path from the Huckleberries? Were you wearing your Huckleberry vest and approved Huckleberry safety chaps? Did you approach the bush from behind, and assume the approved "prison straddle" position to accurately keep berries in lead?


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## hammerlogging (Sep 15, 2011)

I think you should ask the instructor how far he can run up the stem of a tree as its falling, of course jumping off just as it hits the ground. Cause you ain't #### if you can't get 35' up the stem with a nice fresh set of calks on. Closer to the topping too. 

Challenging, but a fun trick.


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## Joe46 (Sep 15, 2011)

You gotta admit the the hand lining up with the handle bar was a nice touch. Subtly understated, but nonetheless understood this is how a pro does it.


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## madhatte (Sep 15, 2011)

Joe46 said:


> You gotta admit the the hand lining up with the handle bar was a nice touch. Subtly understated, but nonetheless understood this is how a pro does it.


 
Gonna have to start doin' that myself, so folks might mistake me for a "pro".


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## teatersroad (Sep 15, 2011)

Do you chew? If not, seems like a pretty good time to start. Pee when you feel like it, and take used dog.


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## Sport Faller (Sep 15, 2011)

teatersroad said:


> Do you chew? If not, seems like a pretty good time to start. Pee when you feel like it, and take used dog.


 
Need to go with Copenhagen Snuff so the tiny particles get between every tooth and dribble everywhere or Beech Nut so you can spit water baloon sized dollops of juice on anybody's shiny new boots


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## lfnh (Sep 16, 2011)

bigskyjake said:


> Need to go with Copenhagen Snuff so the tiny particles get between every tooth and dribble everywhere or Beech Nut so you can spit water baloon sized dollops of juice on anybody's shiny new boots


 
and eye grease. black king pin grease. used. with grit.
cuts down on glare from all those shiney new bars and low cut stumps.
it'll match the plug chew. 

practice the "huh, i don'ts getcha ?" look..


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## madhatte (Sep 16, 2011)

Pfft. That's no way to fit in. Don't listen to these jokers. Whatcha gotta do is dress like a clueless bumpkin under the Husky swag. That way they'll never twig to the interloper in their midst.


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## lfnh (Sep 16, 2011)

Hmmm, sounds like a pitch to go incogmagneto.
but the boots. dead giveaway.


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## Sport Faller (Sep 16, 2011)

lfnh said:


> and eye grease. black king pin grease. used. with grit.
> cuts down on glare from all those shiney new bars and low cut stumps.
> it'll match the plug chew.
> 
> practice the "huh, i don'ts getcha ?" look..


 
Also, refer to any and everybody as "kid" while keeping a really annoyed look on your face

"listen, kid, that'll get ya killed quicker'n hell"

"awright kid, if you get that close to my leg with that saw again I'll wail hell outta ya with a piss elm club"


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## slowp (Sep 16, 2011)

There's a yarder engineer to emulate. He wouldn't talk to me much for two years. Just look and spit. The second year he talked minimally. Noted that I was wearing tin pants...spit. "Don't see those much anymore', spit. He just had to point and glare, and the rigging crew would scramble. The third year, well, he talked. He was/is like a ship captain--had the stink eye down pat. He is a good example of what one should strive to be at a GOL. spit. 

That was a good crew to work with. They could move wood.


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## slowp (Sep 17, 2011)

Now, to motel it or stay in The Wing. The motel will have heat and room to spread out clothes. The Wing will be cheap, and have a comfy bed. There is a state park, with bathrooms and showers, on the same exit. But it is also located next to I-5. There is a Motel 6 and a Safeway (yummy bakery:smile2. We don't have no bakery here :mad2:

The Used Dog will NOT be going, and he is the heater for The Wing. But maybe we'll have another heat wave? Decisions, decisions...


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## schmuck.k (Sep 17, 2011)

slowp said:


> Now, to motel it or stay in The Wing. The motel will have heat and room to spread out clothes. The Wing will be cheap, and have a comfy bed. There is a state park, with bathrooms and showers, on the same exit. But it is also located next to I-5. There is a Motel 6 and a Safeway (yummy bakery:smile2. We don't have no bakery here :mad2:
> 
> The Used Dog will NOT be going, and he is the heater for The Wing. But maybe we'll have another heat wave? Decisions, decisions...


 
i would wing it but i hate motels. jest stop at the bakery on the way there. have fun


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## Gologit (Sep 17, 2011)

I wish I could take the time off to come up there and watch the fun. I know you'll take lots of pictures but who's going to take pictures of you ?

Maybe Madhatte or Cedarkerf could do the deed.


I wonder what the GOL folks would say if you showed up dressed like this and used a Humboldt?


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## lfnh (Sep 17, 2011)

They'd be out classed.

but it might get them to re-think some of the bs. 

well ok, maybe a _few_ of them.


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## Gologit (Sep 17, 2011)

Yup.


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## madhatte (Sep 19, 2011)

Sounds dangerous. Probably get pelted with Peltor helmets, rocked with Rockman helmets, and even -- dare I say it? -- husked with Husky helmets. Is it un-manly of me to fear the wrath of the GOL crowd?


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## slowp (Sep 19, 2011)

I guess I better lay out my outfit so you all may comment. But it may be a few days. The huckleberries are ripe in a nice patch, and I must return there today. 

Will remember calks for todays picking. The Used Dog and I got soaked, except for my legs and feet, yesterday, but it was worth it.

I do not own a proper PNW axe for wedges, but from the videos, I guess I should take my little hammer? I am not sure where the broken baseball bat is.


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## lfnh (Sep 19, 2011)

a rubber mallet might be better. points for safety and it's gotta be color matching..

broken baseball bat ...that a laugh outta me !
hillarious analogy.

Corks vs Gamers


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## 8433jeff (Sep 19, 2011)

slowp said:


> I guess I better lay out my outfit so you all may comment. But it may be a few days. The huckleberries are ripe in a nice patch, and I must return there today.
> 
> Will remember calks for todays picking. The Used Dog and I got soaked, except for my legs and feet, yesterday, but it was worth it.
> 
> I do not own a proper PNW axe for wedges, but from the videos, I guess I should take my little hammer? I am not sure where the broken baseball bat is.


 
It should be not far from where the last hippie or huckleberry thief is laying. Some of that top secret marking paint would help you find it after use.


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## slowp (Sep 19, 2011)

The broken baseball bat is a fact. I was dumping a huge for me--18 inch willow in my yard, and needed to get a wedge in. This property has junk all over. There was a broken aluminum baseball bat handy, and I used it. It worked well for what I did. The willow went over, in the direction it was supposed to go, in spite of my crooked cutting. I think I took the bat to a gtg. It may be in the recycle some day pile.

Perhaps I should give a class on aluminum bat wedging?


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## lfnh (Sep 19, 2011)

why not. blue wedges of course...for beginners. mags for advanced _GOL graduates_.
oh, and the class can autograph your bat as a memento.
nice touch don't you think ?


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## Gologit (Sep 20, 2011)

madhatte said:


> Sounds dangerous. Probably get pelted with Peltor helmets, rocked with Rockman helmets, and even -- dare I say it? -- husked with Husky helmets. Is it un-manly of me to fear the wrath of the GOL crowd?


 
Yup. Fear not. Go forth and take pictures.


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## slowp (Sep 20, 2011)

I'm liking the idea of Gypo jugs but I have no empty antifreeze jugs. I could rig up my trail cutting stuff which is a little one gallon gas can tied with greasy rope to a 2 liter pop bottle for the bar oil. I'll need to go get some pop. :msp_biggrin:


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## k5alive (Sep 20, 2011)

orange marker tape tied on like tassels on that barbie saw ???


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## slowp (Sep 22, 2011)

Okay, time to choose accessories. 

I'm leaning towards wearing my "Got Rum?" hat for casual wear. The one with the feller buncher on it is not shown, as a representation of the machines may cause anger.






I have added an explosives sticker to my Mac T for bling.




View attachment 200182
View attachment 200183


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## Joe46 (Sep 22, 2011)

The Stihl hat may be appropriate. The Mac-T has far to much character for that group


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## Sport Faller (Sep 22, 2011)

Joe46 said:


> The Stihl hat may be appropriate. The Mac-T has far to much character for that group


 
The Mac T would blow their minds

"is that hardhat........metal?"
"umm ok I guess it might work but where is the face shield and neck flap, I don't understand why it doesn't have earmuffs on it?"


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## k5alive (Sep 22, 2011)

Duckboots!!!!!


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## flushcut (Sep 22, 2011)

What a good thread!


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## lfnh (Sep 22, 2011)

No BS, all kidding aside.

Well, slowp, I hope the trip and course turn out well for you. Maybe down the road it'll give you an edge on a job. Check list of things not to leave home.

In any case safe drive up and back and while there.

Lee


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## 056 kid (Sep 22, 2011)

I will never forget the GOL taught guy about my age that was asking my boss one afternoon, "You cannot be serious, he really cut twice the wood I did today?" haha I watched that dude cut his brains out every day, he worked so hard. Then one day he watched me swing a tree with 3 cuts and he saw the light. I tried to pass on what I know, I think it took, dunno though, he quit a few weeks later. .

I have no idea if I cut twice the wood haha, I don't see why boss man would make stuff up though.


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## Gologit (Sep 23, 2011)

I like that MacT with the sticker. Would a "Nuke the Whales and Baby Seals" bumper sticker be a little too much? 

Maybe we're all worrying too much. Maybe the group taking the class will turn out to be a bunch of closet red-necks and they'll all have a hell of a good time. Or, then again.....


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## slowp (Sep 23, 2011)

I saw a picture somewhere of a group taking the course. I think it was in Oregon. The students all looked normal, the instructor was the only one in the orange outfit with face shield, etc. 

I'm going to learn good stuff, because I don't know much.


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## 8433jeff (Sep 24, 2011)

slowp said:


> I saw a picture somewhere of a group taking the course. I think it was in Oregon. The students all looked normal, the instructor was the only one in the orange outfit with face shield, etc.
> 
> I'm going to learn good stuff, because I don't know much.


 
Hope you have a good trip, Ms.slowp, and don't show them all up, on day one anyways. Motel or camper?


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## wendell (Sep 24, 2011)

Is today the big day?


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## plasticweld (Sep 24, 2011)

I have never taken the GOL course, 34 years worth of practice cutting which I am sure will automatically mean I am sure to fail the class. The saw mill I am currently cutting for sent me a note that they would like all of there contractors be certified loggers before the end of the year. My insurance that I have to pay for does not require, the mill that does not pay my insurance seems to think it is a good idea. There is little chance that I will take the day off and lose a day in the woods. I have noticed that every guy who could not cut his way out of a paper bag is an instant expert in logging so I am sure I am missing the obvious. After a short two day coarse they have all the answers


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## Rounder (Sep 24, 2011)

I could get you a "hippie hater" sticker. Looks quite good on my truck - Sam

View attachment 200416


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## slowp (Sep 24, 2011)

I have been out slaying huckleberries. 

The class is on Monday and Tuesday. I am excited because there is a Safeway with a bakery in the motel town!! Love those cream cheese double sugar cinnamon rolls. 

It is supposed to rain.


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## dancan (Sep 24, 2011)

slowp said:


> I'm going to learn good stuff, because I don't know much.


 
That's a quotable quote !
I'm going to have to use that one  .


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## wendell (Sep 24, 2011)

slowp said:


> I have been out slaying huckleberries.


 
I miss huckleberries. :sad:


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## slowp (Sep 25, 2011)

Sounds like it will be rainy. Can GOL occur in rainy conditions?


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## lfnh (Sep 25, 2011)

nah, they'll postpone til the next sunny day.


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## Gologit (Sep 25, 2011)

lfnh said:


> nah, they'll postpone til the next sunny day.


 
WHAT ??!! Even in Warshington? Those people are used to being out in the weather.


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## 056 kid (Sep 25, 2011)

given that GOL spawned from the ease coast, I would say no. but you never know. I don't understand why a GOL class is being taught on the west coast anyway. .


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## Gologit (Sep 25, 2011)

056 kid said:


> given that GOL spawned from the ease coast, I would say no. but you never know. I don't understand why a GOL class is being taught on the west coast anyway. .


 
I thinks its a MONEY thing. They charge a pretty good price for those classes.


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## 056 kid (Sep 25, 2011)

Sounds about right.


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## slowp (Sep 25, 2011)

I'm taking my boot dryer. The one that fits in a small suitcase.


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## slowp (Sep 25, 2011)

If it rains like it is now, we'll drown if we look up at the top of the trees! :msp_ohmy:


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## Sport Faller (Sep 25, 2011)

slowp said:


> If it rains like it is now, we'll drown if we look up at the top of the trees! :msp_ohmy:


 
hahaha, isn't that what happens to turkeys?*








*either that or it was a complete BS story that someone told me when I was little and I bought it


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## 8433jeff (Sep 25, 2011)

bigskyjake said:


> hahaha, isn't that what happens to turkeys?*
> 
> 
> 
> ...


 
Not a BS story, they are that dumb. At least the domesticated ones are. Supposedly the wild ones are smarter, more aware for sure. Heard of young wild ones drowning in shallow puddles, but they are very plentiful here.


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## lfnh (Sep 25, 2011)

slowp said:


> If it rains like it is now, we'll drown if we look up at the top of the trees! :msp_ohmy:


 
Gee, didn't remember "looking up" in any of course desciptions or youtub video demos.
Bring windex.


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## Gologit (Sep 25, 2011)

*Question.*

Has anybody ever flunked the GOL course? Is it even possible? If so, what happens to you? Do they confiscate your little chainsaw, make you turn in your helmet, throw away your chaps, forbid you to ever again wear the color orange, and stamp *Unqualified* on your forehead?

Just wondering.


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## Sport Faller (Sep 25, 2011)

Gologit said:


> Has anybody ever flunked the GOL course? Is it even possible? If so, what happens to you? Do they confiscate your little chainsaw, make you turn in your helmet, throw away your chaps, forbid you to ever again wear the color orange, and stamp *Unqualified* on your forehead?
> 
> Just wondering.


 
They give you the Mad Max treatment, tie you to a horse while wearing a giant cartoon head and cast you out into the desert

Bust a deal, Spin the wheel


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## slowp (Sep 25, 2011)

Here's what is in the pickup.

The Wedges of Lewis County.






The Grapple Cat, watching me gather stuff. He's not going.





The girly pack o' stuff.




View attachment 200579
View attachment 200580
View attachment 200581


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## Sport Faller (Sep 25, 2011)

Those wedges are kindof cool, like a box of crayons or some skittles


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## lfnh (Sep 25, 2011)

Gologit said:


> Has anybody ever flunked the GOL course? Is it even possible? If so, what happens to you? Do they confiscate your little chainsaw, make you turn in your helmet, throw away your chaps, forbid you to ever again wear the color orange, and stamp *Unqualified* on your forehead?
> 
> Just wondering.


 
Probly get sent off to summer school with an assigned tutor.
Evenings are spent watching instructional videos about swamping out (clear cutting saplings)


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## forestryworks (Sep 25, 2011)

"You know how I know you're a GOL fella? You wear a _helmet_ and not a tin hat. And put that damn nancy boy hammer down and get a faller's axe!"


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## Metals406 (Sep 25, 2011)

Oh God, please tell me you're going to wear the Powerpuff backpack!


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## slowp (Sep 26, 2011)

It is my saw stuff bag. It's in the pickup. Don't know that I'll wear it, but it has nice compartments. There were some loggers that used their Aunt's old purses, yes real purses, for tool bags here. 

Hmmmmm. The weather report is for rainy and breezy. Not good for starting at 9AM.


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## RandyMac (Sep 26, 2011)

I should have sent you a 5 cube McCulloch, then there would have real chainsaw noise there.
No rain here, we did pick-up about 3/4" Saturday night and Sunday. The Pacific has been churning for the last three days, the swell is coming from the WNW, pretty much a direct hit, it is loud and tearing chunks off the coastline. Sunny today, got lots of chrome to polish, Annie repainted the grill.


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## LumberjkChamp (Sep 26, 2011)

I sure hope that slowp is able to give a mid-course update. That is if she's not too busy replacing the sprocket nose on her bar from all of that boring.

I have been reading this thread with great intrest.


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## 056 kid (Sep 26, 2011)

RandyMac said:


> I should have sent you a 5 cube McCulloch, then there would have real chainsaw noise there.
> No rain here, we did pick-up about 3/4" Saturday night and Sunday. The Pacific has been churning for the last three days, the swell is coming from the WNW, pretty much a direct hit, it is loud and tearing chunks off the coastline. Sunny today, got lots of chrome to polish, Annie repainted the grill.


 
3/4 seems to be the number, we got the same here, same on the Winchuck, same up behind waleshead as well.


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## slowp (Sep 27, 2011)

I'm back. There was no brainwashing, there was no boring is the only way, there was a lot of orange hardcaps with face screens and ear muffs. There was a logger there with a tin hat and bugz and I had my tin hat and bugz and the instructor said that tin hats were actually the best protection if you didn't have to worry about powerlines and electrical stuff.

I do think there were too many people for the class. There were 14 people. We each cut down one tree, and "planned" the falling for another person to do. It was hard for me to trust a complete stranger. In fact, I was planning my "escape" route as non faller (my job was telling my partner to stop cutting before he cut the hinge off) and it was to be throwing myself backwards into a blackberry thicket. The guy was successful and the tree swung around and did what it was supposed to do.

My tree, about a 12 inch Doug, sat back. I was told to do something different--put in the face cut, bore in and cut to the hinge width, then cut straight back on through. My tree sat back. I threw the Barbie saw down and started to sprint away, but the tree was held by the hinge. The instructor pounded a wedge in and over it went, in the right direction even. I can still sprint, if I have to. No leg muscles were torn this time. 

Most of the class was pretty new to chainsaw use. There were girls and guys. Most brought little saws. The logger had a 660? today. Dolmar sponsors the session. So, the instructor, who was a logger in Wisconsin prior to doing this, only has to fly in and the saws and saw kit are provided, as is a brand new Dolmar orange jacket.

I took a video of him cutting down a large oak. I'll download it eventually.

Home furniture always feels nice and soft after a stay in a Motel 6.


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## lfnh (Sep 27, 2011)

What was the class time versus outside felling time split ?
Was the cost a good value ?

(did ya get a GOL card or something saying passed ?)

good your back in one piece.


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## slowp (Sep 27, 2011)

I think we spent about 2 or 3 hours standing around a tailgate or near/sometimes inside a garage. The sky let loose bigtime this morning, so we had the saw maintenance part then. That is usually the first part of the course, but yesterday's forecast was for increasing wind and rain so he hurried us out to the woods. The storm held off so we went all day. It was go pick out a tree, clear an escape route, then we watched each tree get cut and looked at the stump and stuff. 

I learned a lot of stuff. 

We tried to teach the instructor to pronounce Oregon the correct way.


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## 8433jeff (Sep 27, 2011)

Ms. slowp, no disrespect meant, hope none is taken, but I have to ask.

Did you harvest any of the before mentioned blackberries for pie or ice cream usage?

Another question, is the wood used for something, other than teaching, or just left for firewood?


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## slowp (Sep 27, 2011)

The vines were berryless.

I believe the trees, except the cottonwoods, will go out on trucks. They will need to add some more to make a load or two or more. The logger, who had a tape, bucked up some of the trees to the desired lengths. I limbed one up...making sure to get the knots flat.


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## Gologit (Sep 27, 2011)

slowp said:


> I limbed one up...making sure to get the knots flat.


 
Hey...somebody does it right! I have an opening for a knot bumper...now that you're all certified and schooled and such. :msp_biggrin:


Did you get a hat?


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## slowp (Sep 27, 2011)

I'm a slow knot bumper. No hat. I got a Dolmar carabiner, key chain thingy. He did not even put in a plug for the GOL hats. 

A guy there used the term Poking, for instead of plunge cut, or boring. The new term stuck. The Poke Cut.


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## 8433jeff (Sep 28, 2011)

slowp said:


> The vines were berryless.


 


Kinda late in the year, I suppose.


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## hammerlogging (Sep 28, 2011)

SlowP, I'm glad it turned out to be a good expirament or experience all in all. Hopefully this won't be used to diffuse some of the controversy.

Dolmar, eh? It was so Husky before.


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## slowp (Sep 28, 2011)

Yup. Dolmar. I do not know of any Dolmar dealers out here. 

Should I post on the Chainsaw thread that one of the students was extremely pregnant? :msp_smile:

Oh, and the instructor also said that the plunge cut was another method and one should have as many methods as there are, because things are always changing.

Everytime I thought, how come he isn't mentioning this, like leave trees having tops break and thrown back, he seemed to read my mind and that was mentioned. 

Maybe the two day expert graduates just knew everything before they went? I saw nobody with that attitude and even the logger said he liked to keep up to date and learn new stuff. He ran a specialty business and runs a processor out in the woods. He cuts the big stuff by hand though, and kind of got thrown into doing that. 

The neat thing, which you guys probably know another way of doing, was that you can control the speed of the tree by the heighth that you cut the back strap off. I'll have to experiment with that, if I decide to thin the Christmas tree patch.


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## teatersroad (Sep 28, 2011)

slowp said:


> I'm a slow knot bumper. No hat. I got a Dolmar carabiner, key chain thingy. He did not even put in a plug for the GOL hats.
> 
> A guy there used the term Poking, for instead of plunge cut, or boring. The new term stuck. The Poke Cut.


 
bumping and poking... so it's a game after all.


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## madhatte (Sep 28, 2011)

slowp said:


> I do not know of any Dolmar dealers out here.


 
I'm pretty sure Wood's Logging in Longview and Sedro Woolley is a stocking Dolmar dealer.


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## 2dogs (Sep 28, 2011)

Patty I am glad everything went well in your GOL class. Yep, glad for you. Personally though I was hoping for some big blown up controversy the ended with you throwing your Mac-T like Oddjob and taking out the instructor. I had already made up my mind about GOL. I hate it when facts get in the way of a good fantasy.


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## lfnh (Sep 28, 2011)

More terminology. So, the Poke Cut = Plunge Cut = Boring Cut ? Or are there subtle differences of meaning between them ?

Was the Doug fir that sat back a useful demonstation of how that back boring cut straight through can go bad in a back leaner (trying to understand why the instructor didn't cut to a release strap, set a couple of wedges and then cut the strap from the outside) ? Maybe i'm missing some stuff.


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## 8433jeff (Sep 28, 2011)

lfnh said:


> More terminology. So, the Poke Cut = Plunge Cut = Boring Cut ? Or are there subtle differences of meaning between them ?
> 
> Was the Doug fir that sat back a useful demonstation of how that back boring cut straight through can go bad in a back leaner (trying to understand why the instructor didn't cut to a release strap, set a couple of wedges and then cut the strap from the outside) ? Maybe i'm missing some stuff.


 
Get some time, take the class. Can't be any worse than annual refreshers for MSHA, or first responders.


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## slowp (Sep 28, 2011)

lfnh said:


> More terminology. So, the Poke Cut = Plunge Cut = Boring Cut ? Or are there subtle differences of meaning between them ?
> 
> Was the Doug fir that sat back a useful demonstation of how that back boring cut straight through can go bad in a back leaner (trying to understand why the instructor didn't cut to a release strap, set a couple of wedges and then cut the strap from the outside) ? Maybe i'm missing some stuff.



I may have left to thick of a hinge on the fir. It went over with a wedge in it. I cut it the way he told me to. 

Those are all the same thing.


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