# Hope I don't regret this



## sgreanbeans (Apr 30, 2012)

So, this may not have much to do with tree work.......or maybe it does, yet to be seen. Yesterday, I rescued a 19 y/o kid that I have known since he was born. My wife's ex-best friends kid. Kid has had a horrible life. Has a mom who could care less what happens to him, as long as it doesn't cramp her style. Had to drop out of school because he couldn't take the bully's making fun of his clothes or lack there of. He was living in a garage in the worst part of town, hungry and cold. My wife couldn't take it anymore and we stepped in. He is still a 14-15 year old inside, never had anyone to teach him or guide him except for the sea lawyers that he was living in the garage with. Kid was totally abandoned, its not like he is a bad kid, hes not, not at all. He has little education, no living skills, but still has a positive out look on life! We went and got him out of there, he is here now, sleeping and well feed. Going to help him get his GED and teach him how to properly take care of himself. He wants to work, so we are going to bring him out and try to teach him the way of the Jedi. Give him skills that will be able to put food on the table. The goal is to get him re-booted, re-invented to a new, improved model. My boys pushed the issue, they have known him all their lives and he is like a long lost brother. They understand that this may mean sacrifices on their part and are good with it. Its sad, that people can abandon their kids, I cant see how this is done. It is not like he was a trouble maker and did bad things growing up, that is his brother, who still lives at home, in a warm bed. She booted him, but was still collecting welfare and food stamps for him. He went and signed up for then, which in turn cost her, as she no longer gets them for him, she, instead of worrying about her kid, told him to get lost, because he screwed her over! See, those extra food stamps, waz fedin her man, chyea boooooooi. Can ya believe that crap. So we have agreed to take him in as our own, no need for food stamps any more. Time to give the boy a chance. Going to teach him about Arboriculture, maybe it will save him and give him the ability to take care of himself. It was sad and funny last night. He was so happy, so relieved.


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## hanniedog (Apr 30, 2012)

Good for you, may you apply the wisdom and patience of Yoda on your new boy/man.


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## greendohn (Apr 30, 2012)

It's a good and kind act of humanity 'Beans. May you be rewarded in the end with the boy finding success from you and your family's influences.


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## derwoodii (Apr 30, 2012)

Good luck to you as you'll need it in bags of plenty. many of these interventions can fail, but when yer canna stand back and leave, you must try. I wish you the best 

give him a hard hat with his name on it, make him proud to wear it.


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## sgreanbeans (Apr 30, 2012)

derwoodii said:


> Good luck to you as you'll need it in bags of plenty. many of these interventions can fail, but when yer canna stand back and leave, you must try. I wish you the best
> 
> give him a hard hat with his name on it, make him proud to wear it.



Yeah, I hope it works. Good idea with the hard hat, thanks.


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## ozzy42 (Apr 30, 2012)

Good for you Beans.
I took off when I was 16 because I was tired of my fathers drinking and my mother's#####ing about it [chicken or egg problem my whole chidhood] got to the point where it wasn't my problem to solve anymore.
Lived with my aunt and uncle for a year or so ,but my uncle gave me guidance LONG after I went on my own.He stood by my side thru MANY screw ups.Not that he condoned my shortcomings,but that he loved me in spite of them.Eventually I learned right from wrong thru his examples.
All thru my 20s and 30s he and I worked and raced together,much to the envy of his own sons and my father.It was during this time that my own dad quit drinking and started walking the line and he and I patched up some old wounds.Life has a funny way of working things out sometimes.

Stick with him . He may have developed some bad habits that may rear their head from time to time from his upbringing but good influence will win over bad in the end if you stick with him.It did for me.


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## Islero (Apr 30, 2012)

Beans,
May God bless you for your kindness and compassion!! Rep for you!! Islero, :msp_smile:


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## Islero (Apr 30, 2012)

*Would Some Please Explain*

Have attempted to rep "Beans" but received this message: "This post has not received any reputation. You currently have 31618169 reputation point(s)." What does this mean? Why am I prevented from giving "Beans" a rep? Thank you, Islero :msp_smile:


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## climberjones (Apr 30, 2012)

sgreanbeans said:


> So, this may not have much to do with tree work.......or maybe it does, yet to be seen. Yesterday, I rescued a 19 y/o kid that I have known since he was born. My wife's ex-best friends kid. Kid has had a horrible life. Has a mom who could care less what happens to him, as long as it doesn't cramp her style. Had to drop out of school because he couldn't take the bully's making fun of his clothes or lack there of. He was living in a garage in the worst part of town, hungry and cold. My wife couldn't take it anymore and we stepped in. He is still a 14-15 year old inside, never had anyone to teach him or guide him except for the sea lawyers that he was living in the garage with. Kid was totally abandoned, its not like he is a bad kid, hes not, not at all. He has little education, no living skills, but still has a positive out look on life! We went and got him out of there, he is here now, sleeping and well feed. Going to help him get his GED and teach him how to properly take care of himself. He wants to work, so we are going to bring him out and try to teach him the way of the Jedi. Give him skills that will be able to put food on the table. The goal is to get him re-booted, re-invented to a new, improved model. My boys pushed the issue, they have known him all their lives and he is like a long lost brother. They understand that this may mean sacrifices on their part and are good with it. Its sad, that people can abandon their kids, I cant see how this is done. It is not like he was a trouble maker and did bad things growing up, that is his brother, who still lives at home, in a warm bed. She booted him, but was still collecting welfare and food stamps for him. He went and signed up for then, which in turn cost her, as she no longer gets them for him, she, instead of worrying about her kid, told him to get lost, because he screwed her over! See, those extra food stamps, waz fedin her man, chyea boooooooi. Can ya believe that crap. So we have agreed to take him in as our own, no need for food stamps any more. Time to give the boy a chance. Going to teach him about Arboriculture, maybe it will save him and give him the ability to take care of himself. It was sad and funny last night. He was so happy, so relieved.


Good for you this is a very big thing your doing for this kid just dont give up on him when he #####up cause he will from time to time ! People should take a page from your book much respect!!!!!!!


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## climberjones (Apr 30, 2012)

Islero said:


> Have attempted to rep "Beans" but received this message: "This post has not received any reputation. You currently have 31618169 reputation point(s)." What does this mean? Why am I prevented from giving "Beans" a rep? Thank you, Islero :msp_smile:



Rep worked for me .


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## tree md (Apr 30, 2012)

Good on you Scott. Good to know there are still good people out there like you and your wife.

My folks adopted one of my cousins when we were kids. We were raised together like brothers. He is an Army vet and has a great job with the railroad were he has worked for 20 years. Has a great family. He is still probaly the closest person to me in this world.


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## Sagetown (Apr 30, 2012)

Islero said:


> Have attempted to rep "Beans" but received this message: "This post has not received any reputation. You currently have 31618169 reputation point(s)." What does this mean? Why am I prevented from giving "Beans" a rep? Thank you, Islero :msp_smile:



For one thing, you don't have enough posts under your belt to give a Rep of value. You must make 50 posts before attempting to send a Rep. Generally, a neutral (Gray) Rep does not deduct from the recipients total reputation points, but sometimes counts as a (-1) negative point.
As far as the 'Message'; you may accidentally tried to Rep yourself, and it gave you info accordingly. 

Sgreanbeans: That's a mighty brave thing you've done. I hope the lad is gratefull to you for it. He may be the best son you could ever ask for.


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## Greystoke (Apr 30, 2012)

That's awesome Scott! Not too many folks around that would be willing to take that kid on. Good luck.


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## BlackOakTreeServ (Apr 30, 2012)

Scott, right on, its nice to know there's still good people out there that care for others.


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## superjunior (Apr 30, 2012)

Good on you man. My buddy did the same thing with one of his kids friends. Kinda the same situation. Think the kid was 17 not sure. Guess it's been working out real well for them. The kid is learning some good life skills, he's been helping around the house and even got a job and is helping out with bills and such.


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## Grace Tree (Apr 30, 2012)

That's a great thing you're doing. God bless you, Scott. People are worth something and too many kids are getting thrown in the trash can. 
Phil


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## Jed1124 (Apr 30, 2012)

sgreanbeans said:


> So, this may not have much to do with tree work.......or maybe it does, yet to be seen. Yesterday, I rescued a 19 y/o kid that I have known since he was born. My wife's ex-best friends kid. Kid has had a horrible life. Has a mom who could care less what happens to him, as long as it doesn't cramp her style. Had to drop out of school because he couldn't take the bully's making fun of his clothes or lack there of. He was living in a garage in the worst part of town, hungry and cold. My wife couldn't take it anymore and we stepped in. He is still a 14-15 year old inside, never had anyone to teach him or guide him except for the sea lawyers that he was living in the garage with. Kid was totally abandoned, its not like he is a bad kid, hes not, not at all. He has little education, no living skills, but still has a positive out look on life! We went and got him out of there, he is here now, sleeping and well feed. Going to help him get his GED and teach him how to properly take care of himself. He wants to work, so we are going to bring him out and try to teach him the way of the Jedi. Give him skills that will be able to put food on the table. The goal is to get him re-booted, re-invented to a new, improved model. My boys pushed the issue, they have known him all their lives and he is like a long lost brother. They understand that this may mean sacrifices on their part and are good with it. Its sad, that people can abandon their kids, I cant see how this is done. It is not like he was a trouble maker and did bad things growing up, that is his brother, who still lives at home, in a warm bed. She booted him, but was still collecting welfare and food stamps for him. He went and signed up for then, which in turn cost her, as she no longer gets them for him, she, instead of worrying about her kid, told him to get lost, because he screwed her over! See, those extra food stamps, waz fedin her man, chyea boooooooi. Can ya believe that crap. So we have agreed to take him in as our own, no need for food stamps any more. Time to give the boy a chance. Going to teach him about Arboriculture, maybe it will save him and give him the ability to take care of himself. It was sad and funny last night. He was so happy, so relieved.



Nice to see your helping the kid out. This world needs more people like yourself. Rep sent.


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## husabud (Apr 30, 2012)

Doing this shows you are a man among men, but what is best is that you brought your kids up well enough to see it and suggest it. I think it is a very noble gesture. Best of luck to you with the whole process. Awesome!


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## capecodtree (Apr 30, 2012)

*leading a horse to water*

My youngest son's friend was in a similar situation, father no good, mother doesn't care, a young man adrift with no education or moral direction. My oldest son, who will be taking over the business, gave him a job. taught him how to be an awesome ground guy, prepared him to get his drivers license, my wife made him a lunch everyday, my youngest son (our mechanic) fixed his scooter so he can get to work, etc. After two years of bending over backwards he's a no show. The straw that broke the camels back was that he did not show up on a day that we really needed him because his grand father was being let out of prison and he had to be there.??? It is a sad situation, we gave him more than a chance to learn a trade and establish a direction in life.
God bless you for your efforts with this young man, it is easier to build a man than fix a broken one. Please stay in touch and let us know how things work out. you are doing Gods work. Jim


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## Islero (Apr 30, 2012)

Sagetown said:


> For one thing, you don't have enough posts under your belt to give a Rep of value. You must make 50 posts before attempting to send a Rep. Generally, a neutral (Gray) Rep does not deduct from the recipients total reputation points, but sometimes counts as a (-1) negative point.
> As far as the 'Message'; you may accidentally tried to Rep yourself, and it gave you info accordingly.
> 
> Sgreanbeans: That's a mighty brave thing you've done. I hope the lad is gratefull to you for it. He may be the best son you could ever ask for.



Sagetown, thanks for the explanation. Islero :msp_smile:


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## TreeAce (Apr 30, 2012)

A very kind act indeed. I hope it all works out. I hope you keep in mind that it may not. It sounds like the kid has been through an awful lot and he may have a hard time with so much generosity. I dont mean to sound like a dik but I know of a case that sounds similiar. After a few weeks the family that took a young man in woke up and he was gone, along with some valuables from the home. I have no reason to think that your situation will turn out bad and I sure hope it doesn't. But keep in mind that you are doing the right thing and if it doesnt work out, well, you did your best. I just know that sometimes the people being helped react in strange ways.


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## mangleweld (Apr 30, 2012)

Beans, lot of good replies and advice, and things to cautious of. Good for you and good luck with the young man you will never regret trying to help this young man. Great deed on your part my utmost respect and regards..


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## squad143 (Apr 30, 2012)

Good for you and your family.

Offer to teach him our trade, if he doesn't take to it, don't take it personally. It's not for everyone.

If he does, all the better. Each child, given chances and opportunities will find their way.

Sounds like he may finally be on his path.


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## swyman (Apr 30, 2012)

I have been blessed in many ways and there were people that helped me and made me who I am and am thankful for it. It is people like you who make a difference and I hope everything goes well.


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## buzz sawyer (Apr 30, 2012)

Beans, I just have a feeling you wil be paid back many times over for this kindness. Great post and great action!


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## rmh3481 (May 1, 2012)

God Bless You Bean!


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## sgreanbeans (May 1, 2012)

wow, thanks guys! So far so good, but still too soon to tell. We had a easy peasy one yesterday and we brought him out. Did great. Kid could handle nasty brush pretty good, which we all know is a skill in of itself. He didn't have much clothes and we were getting ready for a garage sale. My kids GOTTA have name brand, so we had piles of Hollister, Aero and Ab and Fitch. Tons of jeans and shorts. He was in shock when we told him that he could have anything he wanted out of it. I gave him a company shirt and some combat boots, digi style. He shaved his head, had a mow hawk type of thing. Kid looked totally different and you could tell he felt good. He eats like a rabbit, which I guess he is used to. Keep telling him "EAT BOY, EAT!" His name is Austin by the way. I have the fear of god in him, always have. So I hope I don't have any problems as stated above, I don't think I will, but only time will tell. He told us that he had stolen from friends, but I believe it was a sit where he needed to eat and was too ashamed to say it. Take that need away, I think he will be fine. He liked working, ran him all day. Paid him and my middle boy took him to the store. Instead of buying junk, he wanted new underwear and socks. I wish he would have told us, I would have bought him that, but thought good on him for not blowing the money and using it to help better himself, even if it is just underwear, which made me realize what I take for granted............clean underwear. Drinks soda like a fish, gotta fix that, bad for his health (yes I am a hypocrite there!) I will say this, although I thank u guys for all the "ada boys" I throw this to my sons, they have really impressed me with their concern and patience. But most of all, their compassion. Austin would still be on the street if it where not for them. So the plan is to teach him the way of the Jedi, he wants to run a saw real bad,"in due time padawan, in due time!" He was beat up alot, ALOT. Kid has been jumped by his own thug brother and friends, that we can fix in the pit. I have my own in the basement where Brock, my youngest trains, being top kid at Miletich, Austin is in good hands, soon, no one will hurt him again. Already have a Gi. 
I also had a crap childhood, mom is a drunk...........bad drunk, dad ran off and then died. I was heading down the wrong road and was in the same sit that he was in, living in a flop house with a bunch of "lost" kids. The Marines saved me. Kinda looking at the same thing for Austin. Army or Navy, get him out of here and give him purpose.


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## beastmaster (May 1, 2012)

All to often we see situations like that and say how sad it is, then move on, It takes a hero to step up and be the solution. Everyone deserves a chance in life. 
I was a wild rebellious teenager with lots of issues, but some one put their faith and time in me, mentored me and got me involved in this business, probably saved my and others lifes.
Know there will be disappointments as well as victory, be understanding as well as patient. My hats off to you.


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## jerrycmorrow (May 1, 2012)

good on ya bean. got a good wife and kids to even consider doing that. being a gyrene i know you've faced and conquered trials. your training will keep you in good shape. proud of ya bro. semper fi.


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## ROPECLIMBER (May 1, 2012)

My Uncle and Aunt (here in SA) took me in when I got expelled from 8th grade in east texas, I will always be indebted to them, gave me a job sweeping parking lot, and later working for his western store and Rodeo Times news paper, he let me learn the sense of acomplishment of earning my own things at a early age, own clothes,boots,hat, this taught me how to care for and buy quality things,if some one had givin me eveything I would have been deprived learning the true value of every thing. Even little things easily taken for granted.
I like the labled hard hat Idea, just a plain one but with a little personal touch, teach him the value of buying quality built things from socks and underwear to climbing helmets, and don't deprive him of the opertunity to earn his own way. The sense of achievement when I purcased my first bike, motorcycle , truck etc was priceless. I think it good that he reliezes he is 19,and should be buying his own socks and underwear, I was taught to pay my own way at a early age, and when I took it for granted found out the hardway and have been paying my own rent too, since I was 18. 
As you build him up with Love, the gift you can't keep, he will surely have to pass it on. My Nephew just graduated Navy boot camp last friday and turned 19 on last thursday ,now is off to nuclear school, we are very proud of him and all the young men that serve our country, 
God bless You, Your Family, and Austin.
Paul


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## robfromaz1977 (May 1, 2012)

You are doing a great thing sgreanbeans. It's nice to see someone that can care for other people when they need it most. No telling where the kid would end up without you helping him. I believe you and your family will be blessed for this many times over.


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## Zale (May 1, 2012)

I commend you and your family for helping Austin. Good luck.


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## arborjockey (May 1, 2012)

Good news..... I'm up for adoption as well. I'm young at heart and I come with my own tools.


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## gtsawyer (May 1, 2012)

Regardless of the outcome, you're doing the right thing.


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## Tree Pig (May 1, 2012)

nice work beans. It was good that he bought the things he did with money he earned. The small lesson he learned in that one short day of work and trip to the store will be huge in redirecting his life. It may have been the first time he actually saw that hey I put in a good days work and I can go to the store and buy what ever the hell I want. Keep him going with the work thing but I would say keep letting him pay his own way here and there and give him more and more responsibilities. Sounds like he needs to be shown a little love, but not coddled. Seems like you are on the right track, good luck tell him that we on AS are all going to keep track and he better not let us down.


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## sgreanbeans (May 2, 2012)

View attachment 236604


Austin

@ SOM-Right on!
@ AJ, we got room!But you have to do your own laundry, wife is already overloaded.

Yesterday, we were out pruning, had t run and check the radar. Jon was getting ready to rope a small branch down. so I was going to hold off until we got it down (over a house) Nothing big, but big enough. Jon says "go ahead, I'll teach him how to handle it." I keep my ear on him and he proceeds to break it down to Austin, what he needs to do and when. Big roll and let it run. He nailed it. Jon gave him a "ada boy" and the kid gleamed with pride. Reminded me of when Forrest finally introduce Jenny to Lt Dan. I am being really strict with him. He is not going to run the streets. Making him read Outsiders, prepping him for the GED. Told him that I am not being A hole for fun. He said "your just being the dad that I know", f'ing killed me. He called me dad last night too, skittishly. Kinda set me back a bit, kinda weird, but I am cool with it. I think he wants, so bad, to call us mom and dad. Simple things like that he has missed out on and that's all he wants, to know what it feels like to have someone that is concerned about him. 

Someone from here called me, could not make out the message, think it was one of you fellow Iowegins, who was it?


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## derwoodii (May 2, 2012)

Att'a boy good job.. With out puttin pressure on the lad, you let him know there's a whole heap of blokes all hoping he does good. Many of us had rough or hard upbringings. I suspect the tree work trade has its fair share of life's battlers. Tis nice to see a young man gettin a break against the odds.


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## Bigus Termitius (May 2, 2012)

Awesome Austin.

My Brother's name is Austin, btw, and that's what they used to call him when we were racing bmx. We call him Aus for short, so dad put AU$$UM across the rear on his racing pants to kinda reflect the awesome amount of money we spent on the sport as well.

Anyway, what you are doing is Awesome. And no matter what, I don't think you will regret it. Nothing ventured, nothing gained, brother. You're investing in another young man's life, and that is the deep stuff that's not for the timid. Rare form in these days where we need it the most. 

Godspeed.


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## BigWill1985 (May 2, 2012)

I am sort of doing the same thing. My ex-wife's brother always admired me, my morals, and my personal drive. His parents never really educated him much, and he fell into the wrong crowd on multiple occasions. Wound up getting hooked on cocaine, and ran out of money. So, another buddy of his convinced him to join in some shenanigans and they all got caught stealing vases from grave sites (and selling them). Went to prison for grave robbing. 

Anyway, he just got out, and is going through rehab now. Once that's done, he's moving in with me and I will hopefully get him back on to the right track. He has no professional skill, very little in the way of living skills, and has never had any motivation to succeed since he has always had other people to move back in with. Once he moves in with me, he will be in a new place, around completely new people, starting a new life. I'm hoping it all goes well. I've made a fairly respectable life for myself, and have been successful so far (27 years old, bought a house, married with a son, all bills paid, have my own reputable tree service, doing the Navy thing, and have the means to work through almost any problem). I'm just hoping that he turns his life around and learns something from me that will hopefully get him back on his feet and off on his own. Just gotta keep him away from the damned drugs and teach the boy an honest trade.

~Will Courtier~


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## flushcut (May 2, 2012)

You sir are a true humanitarian!


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## hunthawkdog (May 7, 2012)

guys like u make me proud to be a treeman . be puttin yall on my prayers.


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## sgreanbeans (May 7, 2012)

It is NOT easy, as yall said, and I am finding out that there is a lot more to the story. Some people get handed a sh it sandwich in life and try and try to "change thier stars" Others just wanna get bye, by any means necessary. If that means lying to a family about what put you in the sit your in, then so be it.


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## tree md (May 7, 2012)

It's not easy Scott. I was trying to help a young guy out 4 or 5 years ago. Was teaching him to climb and let him stay with me. He got locked up for a small amount of pot and I gave him a second chance. The very next day he got locked up for stealing a car. That was it. I will not put up with having a thief around me. Too much liability when you are working at people's residences. Not to mention having to worry about your own saws and gear going missing.

Hope things work out for Austin.


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## jerrycmorrow (May 7, 2012)

sgreanbeans said:


> It is NOT easy, as yall said, and I am finding out that there is a lot more to the story. Some people get handed a sh it sandwich in life and try and try to "change thier stars" Others just wanna get bye, by any means necessary. If that means lying to a family about what put you in the sit your in, then so be it.



yeah i've eaten some of them samitches. i'm betting yall've already had the "come clean, come to Jesus" meeting and put him on notice that any further surprises will immediately result in him being persona non grata. hang in there bro. even if it comes to putting him out he will still remember you tried to help him. sometimes people have to literally hit the bottom before they can even begin to think about looking up. hope that's not the case. regards to ya.


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## Sagetown (May 7, 2012)

tree md said:


> It's not easy Scott. I was trying to help a young guy out 4 or 5 years ago. Was teaching him to climb and let him stay with me. He got locked up for a small amount of pot and I gave him a second chance. The very next day he got locked up for stealing a car. That was it. I will not put up with having a thief around me. Too much liability when you are working at people's residences. Not to mention having to worry about your own saws and gear going missing.
> 
> Hope things work out for Austin.





jerrycmorrow said:


> yeah i've eaten some of them samitches. i'm betting yall've already had the "come clean, come to Jesus" meeting and put him on notice that any further surprises will immediately result in him being persona non grata. hang in there bro. even if it comes to putting him out he will still remember you tried to help him. sometimes people have to literally hit the bottom before they can even begin to think about looking up. hope that's not the case. regards to ya.



No matter the outcome, Scott deserves all the credit for sticking his neck out to bring this kid up in a respectable home environment. In my experience they generally have a silver tongue, and quick hands, talking out of both sides of their mouth while robbing you blind. Until they have a complete change of heart, they'll continue to revert to their old self, and that's sad, considering the good potentials we can see in them.:bang:


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## sgreanbeans (May 7, 2012)

thanks guys, I am listening to him skype right now! The things they talk about! I dunno, its hard, but what you guys just described is exactly what I am dealing with right now. Was told, after the fact, that others have done this for him before and he stole from them or took great liberty's with what they allowed him to do(ran up a 1500 phone bill) Hope to god he don't try that here. He is not interested in learning anything, I have had him out and he does good with the small stuff, dragging brush, raking and such, try to explain anything in detail and he doesn't pay attention, as when told to do it, I have to explain it all over again, stayed out all night the other night. So still working out the bugs and trying to determine what is in that brain. He is literally a 14 y/o in mind.


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## tree md (May 7, 2012)

Well, at least he has the excuse of youth... I still have to deal with 30 and 40 something's that need to grow up...


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## Job Corps Tree (May 7, 2012)

GOOD on Yea, Having been somewhere just like Him , I can relate Well done


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## Sagetown (May 7, 2012)

sgreanbeans said:


> thanks guys, I am listening to him skype right now! The things they talk about! I dunno, its hard, but what you guys just described is exactly what I am dealing with right now. Was told, after the fact, that others have done this for him before and he stole from them or took great liberty's with what they allowed him to do(ran up a 1500 phone bill) Hope to god he don't try that here. He is not interested in learning anything, I have had him out and he does good with the small stuff, dragging brush, raking and such, *try to explain anything in detail and he doesn't pay attention, as when told to do it, I have to explain it all over again,* stayed out all night the other night. So still working out the bugs and trying to determine what is in that brain. He is literally a 14 y/o in mind.



When I was in NAM, I saw refugee boy's who smoked opium, and they had no desire to learn anything. Like maybe it destroys their brain cells. I don't know if 'pot' does that too.


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## sgreanbeans (May 8, 2012)

Sagetown said:


> When I was in NAM, I saw refugee boy's who smoked opium, and they had no desire to learn anything. Like maybe it destroys their brain cells. I don't know if 'pot' does that too.



NAM!Man, hats off to ya, screw that place. Have heard too many horror story's about that place from the"old guard" We had a Sgt Maj at my first unit that was there as a boot grunt. Stuff he would tell us, gave us nightmares.

Yeah, it may be that with him, not sure. If he does it, its not around here, I would smell it.


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## jerrycmorrow (May 8, 2012)

sgreanbeans said:


> ... If he does it, its not around here, I would smell it.



easy to tell without smelling. glassy eyes, sh!t eating grin, munchies, lethargic, slow-witted, giggles


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## HappyTreesLLC (May 23, 2012)

If you chosen to "teach him the way of the Jedi", number one you should change your name from Bean to OBean-Wan Kenobi.
Second, don't listen to "The boy is too old..dangerous it is..." it's bull poop.
Remember you promised to Qui-Gon Jinn.

Seriously, GOD BLESS YOU.


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## sgreanbeans (May 23, 2012)

Thanks, but he chose the way of the Sith. Lying, stealing and drugs. Taking off for days then coming back like nothing happened. Bringing crackheads over to my house (thought he was going to get his peeps hooked up via my fridge) He didn't want to conform to the house rules. Took my youngest sons Fender guitar from his room and tried taking it out of the house, while we where gone, we came home just as he was doing it, that was the last straw. Said he was going out just to "play with some friends" I guess asking was out of the q, I think he was going to pawn it. I tried, really hard even, but he is not interested in any kind of responsible life. His choice. Acuna matada.


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## sgreanbeans (May 23, 2012)

jerrycmorrow said:


> easy to tell without smelling. glassy eyes, sh!t eating grin, munchies, lethargic, slow-witted, giggles



His choice is actually meth and pills, he was busted in that garage he was living in, they had a bunch of the crap. Several went to jail.


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## derwoodii (May 23, 2012)

Sorry to hear, you gave him more than a chance, sigh sadly many are taken by the dark side.


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## jerrycmorrow (May 23, 2012)

sorry to hear of his bad choices. his stupidity is his choice. you just can't teach stupid out of someone; only experience can do that. 
you did what you could. now all you can do is maybe be there to help put the pieces back together when his seeds sprout and he reaps his bitter harvest. as i see it you have no further obligation (never could see that you ever had an obligation to this ingrate) except what you and your family agree on.
that being said you are a giant in my eyes. God bless you for your compassion and caring. carry on.


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## Sagetown (May 23, 2012)

sgreanbeans said:


> Thanks, but he chose the way of the Sith. Lying, stealing and drugs. Taking off for days then coming back like nothing happened. Bringing crackheads over to my house (thought he was going to get his peeps hooked up via my fridge) He didn't want to conform to the house rules. Took my youngest sons Fender guitar from his room and tried taking it out of the house, while we where gone, we came home just as he was doing it, that was the last straw. Said he was going out just to "play with some friends" I guess asking was out of the q, I think he was going to pawn it. I tried, really hard even, but he is not interested in any kind of responsible life. His choice. Acuna matada.



Don't feel all is at a loss. Your sons have learned a lot through this experience, and they will never forget how great their Dad is.


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## Yoopermike (May 23, 2012)

Good deal! There arent to many ppl out there like you with a kind heart any more! Broke the mold so to speak! I hope the kid learns well and does good! Now, I wanna learn the way of the jedi damnit!  Think I learned from "the dark side"  and it scares me! lol
Correction.. Didnt read your last post. You tried and thats what counts, You can lead em to the water but, if they wont drink then its all on them. I still wanna learn the way of the Jedi!


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## Gologit (May 23, 2012)

You did what you could. You did more than most people would have done. You can't make somebody better if they don't want to make themselves better.


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## tree md (May 23, 2012)

Have had to deal with something similar with a close family member in the past couple of weeks Scott. I know the frustration. Finally had to wash my hands of the situation as well. Somebody has to want to help themselves before you can help them. I choose not to get down in the street and run with a bunch of crazy drug addicts. I like having a nice, calm, profitable life. I'll be damned if I'm gonna let somebody drag me down in the street or bring it to my home. Hopefully they will choose a better path once they run out of gas.


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## Jace (May 23, 2012)

Sagetown said:


> *Don't feel all is at a loss. Your sons have learned a lot through this experience, and they will never forget how great their Dad is*.



*Right on.* 

sgb, Ya never can know if U can help or not, if ya dont/didnt try. Lotta guys would not have given him a chance... 
When ya think about all the junk some of the kids out there go thru as a child, like in your opening post, its no wonder its next to impossible to get them on the right track...


I have a similiar situation. Trying to help a 20 year old meth and mary jane user. Dont have a job, cant get a job. Dont have a grad diploma or GED (trying to get his GED) Living with 2 couples married in one house, and their all sleeping around on eachother(and drugs..). He has Hardly no clothes to wear. To top it off, I think he's having sex with a 14-15 year old girl, tho he claims theyre just friends! 
He want to do better, get a solid job, but cant get hired anywhere cause his teeth are rotted out from doing meth, plus he owes a jail bill of $375 still. No transportaqtion. Talk about a mess, where do I stop? 
He wants to do better, I really do believe that, but its a big rut to get out of EVEN if he REALLY wants to.

While he may seem like a lost cause of a loser...heres the deal... he has always had broken homes, and never had a "lasting" dad. His mom died 8 years ago, he was 12. She had been married either 3 or 4 times after being pregnant with him. He never knew or met his biological dad. Her first husband adopted him and they were only married a year, so that guy spent the next 17 paying child support on a boy that he only knew a year. He never saw him again. She got married three more times after that, and then she died. 6 months after she died, her latest husband and father figure to him, died of a heart attack. So the boy never had a lasting relationship with a father figure, and the closet to him(mother) died. The kids of the "father figure" that died, are on drugs, and he has been with them every since their dad died. (Hopfully this isnt completley confusing).

When kids go thru messes like this, its no wonder they end up hooked on drugs or in jail, untrustworthy and dont trust anybody, basically just wasting life away, and I think nothing short of a miracle from above can get them on track.

Anyway, kudos to ya bean for what you and your family have attempted to do for him...it is/was NOT a waste of time, (like what Sagetown just said)that is FOR CERTAIN.


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## Zale (May 23, 2012)

If someone is a active addict, you can't do anything until that person wants to change. All you can do is detach with love. The boy has a disease but is unwilling to acknowledge it. Don't enable him by giving him a second or third chance. You did your best. Have you changed the locks on your house? Thats not meant as a joke.


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## husabud (May 23, 2012)

Good on ya Beans! I am sorry to hear he went wrong again. I live in a community full of these types, no meth, but plenty of pills coke heroin weed, you name it. I have lost a friend every year for eight years to some drug or another. I even lost a close cousin. Once your brain is programmed to this crap, you're done. Too bad. Change your locks.


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## sgreanbeans (May 24, 2012)

I was thinking about what all of you have said and I have come to this conclusion. The youth of today is screwed. Not enough chiefs and way to many freakin Indians. I look at all the kids that grew up with my boys, all of them had the same story, no dad, worthless mom, drugs. I look at them now, they all think they are going to "hit it big" on you tube or be the next Idol. Instead of preparing for life, they wait for the free cheese. They learn the skills of theft and cheating long before they learn about Honor. Too many kids going the way of the Sith, it makes me sad. Not blowing smoke up my own, but then I look at my boys, all kickin' butt. Oldest has the highest GPA in his class at North Central. Where he gets it from..........I have NO idea, lol. My point is, they grew up with a dad, but that is no excuse for success. I didn't have a dad, mom is a drunk, I turned out ok I guess, I was pretty wild, but no punk druggie. I chose the Marines, they didn't recruit me. I found them. Ya gotta want it, and until u go after it, your just going to be a waste to society. Its something inside u. 
My boys want it real bad, they understand that I am not rich, that if they want to be, they gotta go after it, they are, with both guns loaded. Justification for Higher Education, remember those posters? I remind the boys all the time. 
BIG WEEKEND here at the house, as far as kids go. Oldest will be home for summer on Sunday, Middle graduates on Sunday from High school. The yunone is out already for the summer and is ready to get down to the gym. On Tuesday, I will have a full crew again, both older boys out, full time, cant hardly wait. I love working with them, they get after it pretty hard and like to out do each other. 
Austin will have a rough time in life, he will need to crash and burn before he wakes up.

Thanks all for the kind words, and back at cha. I know many of you are dealing with this same thing, hope yall have better luck. 

They should have a VocRehab class at the community college, called "how to grow the f up and be a man" taught by Bobby Booshay


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## himiler (May 24, 2012)

sgreanbeans said:


> They should have a VocRehab class at the community college, called "how to grow the f up and be a man" taught by Bobby Booshay



My Scoutmaster for the troop my son was in gave a talk one Saturday night about how life is tough and there are no shortcuts. You work hard and smart and you get what you put into it. I've probably used that speech on the young scouts more than a dozen times.
On a separate note, I can't help but think you've got a wife that backs you a hundred percent and holds those boys of yours to the mark. 
Steve
Oh, and I'm proud of ya for making the effort.


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## HappyTreesLLC (May 28, 2012)

Beans,
You did grate. It is very sad to hear bad outcome of situation.
"You can take a boy out of trailer park but you can't take trailer park out of boy" - "Swordfish"
Do not let this negative outcome discourage you from being GOOD MAN.


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