# You know you're an arborist when---



## Sunrise Guy (Apr 1, 2006)

you're out on a date, you reach into the pocket of your jeans at the cashier to pay your restaurant bill, and you pull out a mess of twigs and leaves with your wallet!

you're driving around town just trying to relax on your day off and you can't help but look at each and every tree you pass and wonder if you should stop at the business or home of the tree's owner and drop off a business card to try and get their business.

you get almost dizzy with excitement when a new supply catalog arrives in the mail.

you can have an hour long discussion with a professional blade sharpener about the various methods and gadgets available to sharpen chains.

(OK, feel free to add to this, guys and gals!)


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## beowulf343 (Apr 1, 2006)

When you know the names of the local saw dealer's five kids.


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## okietreedude1 (Apr 1, 2006)

When you drive down streets saying 'ive worked at that house, that house, that house, that house.....'


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## woodchux (Apr 1, 2006)

You visit arboristsite.com daily


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## lookingtoplant (Apr 1, 2006)

Instead of chaining yourself to a tree to protest clear cutting, your talking to the foreman telling him the best way to trim all the trees and what ones would be okay to take out.


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## 9th year rookie (Apr 1, 2006)

Driving down the street w/your wife, she hears you whistle and doesn't look for the blonde because she knows your looking at a nice tree.


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## beowulf343 (Apr 1, 2006)

You can spend an hour talking about tight crotches without it
becoming sexual.


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## Sunrise Guy (Apr 1, 2006)

beowulf343 said:


> You can spend an hour talking about tight crotches without it
> becoming sexual.


LMAO with my lady. Let's not forget about butt hitching, as well. When I tell her my daily tales, if I've done some butt hitching she starts giving me that look!


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## BigJohn (Apr 1, 2006)

Or how about butt itching cause you just took duece in the chips and dont have toilet tissue. Or how you burried your soiled underbritches under someone's rhodendrom because you couldn't burn out of the tree fast enough or just didnt want to come down. Or your cutting off the pockets of your co workers sweatshirts and the sleaves off their t-shirts to wipe your arse.


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## Jumper (Apr 1, 2006)

"you're out on a date, you reach into the pocket of your jeans at the cashier to pay your restaurant bill, and you pull out a mess of twigs and leaves with your wallet!"

Or in my experience this morning...the dryer lint trap is full of twigs, chips and evergreen chaff!


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## TreeLady (Apr 1, 2006)

A dogwood dies in your backyard and you videotape your kids first takedown (with their bare hands no less).


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## TimberMcPherson (Apr 2, 2006)

Infront of your toilet, shower, and back of couch contains enough mulch to cover a vege patch.

You wear chainsaw pants so much you sometimes put them on when your not working.

You had the best luck with women that like the smell of pine and 2 stroke oil. 

you can flick a beercan further with a rake than you can throw one

You use a blower to clean out your car/garage/some parts of your house (if you partners not about)

You keep an eye out for the perfect shovel

youve used a chainsaw to constuct things around the home

Youve dismantled saws in your living room

You trust trees more than you trust buildings

your fiance can name the models of saws you own


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## antigrassguy (Apr 2, 2006)

watch the dog chew sticks and wonder if I had 12 dogs could they shred more tree than our chipper?
Plan vacations around where the cool trees are.
Feel comfortable and excited about sharing your "wood" stories with strangers on the internet.


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## xtremetrees (Apr 2, 2006)

The inside of your arms are all scratched up. 

Your knees hurt constantly.

You constantly rub saw dust from your eyes.

You call other treeguys hack.

You go into any business and ask do yall have chainsaws


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## hobby climber (Apr 2, 2006)

You walk in the house after a tree job and instead of hello dear, your wife says: Ok, your home now...no more talking about trees,RIGHT!!!


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## darkstar (Apr 2, 2006)

*chainsaw chains*

You sit around trying to figure out new uses for old chains:jawdrop:


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## Dadatwins (Apr 2, 2006)

You have a tree in your own backyard that you know needs to be worked on, your wife knows it has to be worked on, your kids know it has to be worked on, the neighbors know it has to be worked on, yet you are never home to work on it, cause you are out working on everyone else's trees.


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## woodchux (Apr 2, 2006)

When "big wood" = dbh


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## murphy4trees (Apr 2, 2006)

When you have three lines set in the backyard... one for the kids and two for you...

When you wear peltor muffs to loud concerts, and then switch to plugs when you want to slow dance...

your dining room table has about $700 worth of climbing gear on it... (you know you're a bachelor then too)

When your best friend says that you're new girlfriend is trying to "get her hooks into you"... you explain it away by telling her it's a tree climbing term... and then make jokes about it the next time the three of you are together... HA HA john......


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## Bermie (Apr 2, 2006)

When most of your holiday photos are of trees and you didn't realize until your family were laughing at your different descriptions of each one and why it was special!


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## treeguy020 (Apr 2, 2006)

Dadatwins said:


> You have a tree in your own backyard that you know needs to be worked on, your wife knows it has to be worked on, your kids know it has to be worked on, the neighbors know it has to be worked on, yet you are never home to work on it, cause you are out working on everyone else's trees.




That is so true!


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## oldugly (Apr 2, 2006)

When you can't walk into your garage without tripping over dead saws...that are still good for parts

When your car sits outside in the rain, but you rush out and bring all your saws into the basement out of the pickup.

When you hope for warmer weather, just so the chain oil flows into the saws better.

When you spend all your "free" time reading posts on arboristsite, or looking through treetrader.com for equipment

When you drool over chippers 

When you can't remember your next door neighbors name, but can remember every tree in his yard you trimmed

(If you work powerlines) You drive to town and show your kids every tree that's burning, and plan your trip to drive another route, so you can check out more lines that are on your map.

You spend mega dollars on satellite tv...just to watch the local weather channel.


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## oldugly (Apr 2, 2006)

Oh yeah...and every tree in your own yard needs trimming, your woods are full of deadwood, and your wife is threatening to hire a competitor to get it done.


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## rebelman (Apr 3, 2006)

You and your mother have a falling out over mulching root zones.


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## woodchux (Apr 5, 2006)

You might be an arborist when...

You begin to understand "treespyder's " posts


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## TimberMcPherson (Apr 5, 2006)

You refer to the sherrill catalog more than any priest has every looked over a bible, and know it better

You give directions by trees and saw shops

when looking at buying a house you look for how easy it is to back into, how big the garage is, if it has a fireplace and how much space you have for keeping wood or mulch.


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## John Paul Sanborn (Apr 5, 2006)

You walk away from more bids because they want the trees butchered.

Your wedding photographer has you pointing at a name plaque (it was a Gymnocladus Dioicus)

Your spouse tells you to "go back outside and those close off where they wont get sawdust all over my clean floor!"


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## Lawn Masters (Apr 5, 2006)

you know you're an arborist when you get in your truck and cant see the floorboards under all the sawdust and old gatorade bottles. 

when you're covered in pine pitch and dont seem to notice till your wife/partner says WTF is THAT??


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## xtremetrees (Apr 5, 2006)

lol lawn masters

lol john paul

You the Ultimate Fightin Championship and think, Ha I could carry these puss boys on my sohulder as i slapped there daddy with a limb.


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## 1CallLandscape (Apr 5, 2006)

You know your an arborist when:

You own more saws than you wife owns shoes
You spend more time in the trees than on the ground
When you drop friends trees for free just to take the wood!
Your saw is worth more than your truck
You spend more money on chains than on food

I have a whole lot more!!!


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## ROLLACOSTA (Apr 6, 2006)

1CallLandscape said:


> You know your an arborist when:




When your upto your neck in debt paying for all those fancy machines..


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## ROLLACOSTA (Apr 6, 2006)

BigJohn said:


> Or how about butt itching cause you just took duece in the chips and dont have toilet tissue. Or how you burried your soiled underbritches under someone's rhodendrom because you couldn't burn out of the tree fast enough or just didnt want to come down. Or your cutting off the pockets of your co workers sweatshirts and the sleaves off their t-shirts to wipe your arse.




HAHAHA funny post BigJohn,i've been there and done all the above LOL


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## TreeLady (Apr 6, 2006)

You know your an arborist when...

the groom's cake at your wedding is a giant chocolate tree stump.


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## TreeLady (Apr 6, 2006)

You know you're an arborist when...

you understand that common sense isn't so common.


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## Bermie (Apr 6, 2006)

Your laundry line looks like this


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## 1CallLandscape (Apr 6, 2006)

you know your an arborist when:

you can climb on a big piece of wood all day and not be gay
LOL!!!! 
my brother made this up on a job today!


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## M.D. Vaden (Apr 8, 2006)

Yeah, 

Well other than the sore knuckles and shoulders, you know you are an arborist when the Honey Bucket driver sucks the citie's biggest presto log out of your septic tank after your few years of taking showers.


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## Jumper (Apr 8, 2006)

The highlight of your workweek is a Friday afternoon visit to Vermeer so the boss could buy some new "toys". Nice guy-he bought me a pair of sunglasses and two pair of gloves as well.

Or you gave your truck a thorough spring cleaning/detailing, and one week later the interior looks as bad as it ever did. Oh well giver another shot today.....


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## xtremetrees (Apr 8, 2006)

You point out hawks and birds of prey sitting in the tops of trees noone ever sees.


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## 1CallLandscape (Apr 8, 2006)

you know your an arborist when :

You go out to eat wearing the nasty clothes covered in pine pitch and stick to the bar stools!!!

The pile of wood in your yard is bigger than your neighbors house! ( thats true for me)


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## Tree Machine (Apr 9, 2006)

1CallLandscape said:


> you know your an arborist when :


All the waitresses at the local brewpub don't know your name, but they all know you as Treeguy.

Your Mom begins referring to you as Treeguy.

You use a laser pointer for things other than making the cat crazy.

You spend your days thinking up new treegear that hasn't been invented.

You've written to the Powerbar company asking if they can make em in flavors like Oak, Ash, Pine and Ginkgo.

You tell your wife, every day, how much you love your chipper.

Your ex-wife refers to herself as an Arboristsite widow.


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## woodchux (Apr 9, 2006)

You might be a redneck arborist if 

You've ever unloaded the truck...

By slamming on the brakes in reverse


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## rebelman (Apr 9, 2006)

You might be a redneck arborist if 

You've ever unloaded the truck...

By slamming on the brakes in reverse


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## Treeman14 (Apr 9, 2006)

*You know you're an arborist when...*

you can climb a tree without spurs.


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## Freakingstang (Apr 9, 2006)

When your user name reflects another point of interest (mustangs) and you have 5 of them, yet you have double the amount of saws than cars on interest....


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## Sunrise Guy (Apr 9, 2006)

xtremetrees said:


> You point out hawks and birds of prey sitting in the tops of trees noone ever sees.



It's amazing how people rarely look up these days. I think the whole blabbing on a cell phone thing has gotten folks to the point where they never are truly interacting with their environment anymore because they're too busy talking about mundane crap with their cell phone buddies. They miss out on things I think are far more important and/or interesting than, "Hey, whatcha doin'?"


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## Treeman14 (Apr 9, 2006)

Sunrise Guy said:


> It's amazing how people rarely look up these days. I think the whole blabbing on a cell phone thing has gotten folks to the point where they never are truly interacting with their environment anymore because they're too busy talking about mundane crap with their cell phone buddies. They miss out on things I think are far more important and/or interesting than, "Hey, whatcha doin'?"



You're absolutely right, and what's more... Oh, hang on, I gotta take this call.. I'll be right back.


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## notahacker (Apr 9, 2006)

*You might me an arborist when...*

You fix things around the house with old throw line.

Your kids practice knots on every single piece of thread in the home.

Your wife can ID trees as good as you can.

Your 5 year old says this while you are driving around, "That one needs a crane on it." Or, "I see one cut for that tree." (Referring to a tree in decline or a dead tree: removal).--My favorite.

I find that my lifestyle/profession is rubbing off on the family.


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## rebelman (Apr 9, 2006)

extreme and sunrise make good points. I spot alot of birds and critters when I'm checking out trees driving or any time. Thumbs up to treeman14, also.


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## Rob Murphy (Apr 10, 2006)

*save a tree*

.U know U R an arborist when.......in the middle of the sermon u get excited as u tell the congreation how u saved a tree.It was a Chinese Elm with sound branch attachments ...I gave it a massive lift but at least it got to live.


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## xtremetrees (Apr 14, 2006)

You might be Murphy if you think of 1000 thing that can go wrong .:monkey:


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## BRAAAP (Apr 15, 2006)

When you get more wood chips and sawdust out of the truck heater than heat that first cold fall morning.


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## Bermie (Apr 15, 2006)

When you make a post here:greenchainsaw:


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## TreeTopKid (Apr 16, 2006)

ROLLACOSTA said:


> HAHAHA funny post BigJohn,i've been there and done all the above LOL



I was doing one of the above when the customer came out with a tray of tea, and biccies (cookies). I would've got away with it too if it weren't for the lads I was working with!


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