# Hunting campfire stories.....and rules.



## deeker (Sep 20, 2010)

Well??? You guys better start telling us all the juicy pranks and stories involved in hunting camps....

When I was ten years old....hunting with ( dragging him down, slowing him down ) my father and brother....

I inquired as to the meaning of rule #3. Complaints about the cook, mean you are the cook until someone else complains....

I am still the camp cook. Had to learn early.

The first rule of hunting camp....rule #1 The first liar does NOT stand a chance.....


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## discounthunter (Sep 20, 2010)

not stories but tid bits of a guy named lloyd. lloyd is a friend of my dads. hes an older guy retired military,has no sones but a awesome cabin on a lake with access to hundreds of good hunting land. we would go for a long weekend once a year with lloyd to the cabin.these are some of the things that happened during those trips.

lloyd forgot his license, we drove to town the next day,lost a whole day of hunting.
lloyd forgot his ammo,its ok he and i both have 30-30's,mine a marlin his a winchester(that comes into play next)
lloyd had a new scope put on his rifle,while loading it up the next morning realizes winchester is a top eject,he needed an offset or risers on his scope,had to go to town later that day to refit it,lost o whole day.
lloyd is wearing gloves one cold morning loads his rifle,releases the hammer slowly(thats how older 30-30's saftey worked) couldnt hold the hammer with his gloved fingers and shot a round off thru a vacant trailer(that goodness!)
we spotted 2 nice bucks crossing a field too far for me ,but the deer were headed straight for lloyds spot,we waited,and waited,they were right in front of his stand,still no shot, my dad decided to take a shot as the walked to the tree line,they stopped as he fired,shot hit the dirt right in front of the leader,they walked into the woods.we walked down to lloyds stand to see if he is all right,hes not there.we head to the cabin,theres lloyd drinking coffee at the table.he said he got cold.well at least he made some coffee.


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## deeker (Sep 21, 2010)

discounthunter said:


> not stories but tid bits of a guy named lloyd. lloyd is a friend of my dads. hes an older guy retired military,has no sones but a awesome cabin on a lake with access to hundreds of good hunting land. we would go for a long weekend once a year with lloyd to the cabin.these are some of the things that happened during those trips.
> 
> lloyd forgot his license, we drove to town the next day,lost a whole day of hunting.
> lloyd forgot his ammo,its ok he and i both have 30-30's,mine a marlin his a winchester(that comes into play next)
> ...



That funny.


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## deeker (Sep 21, 2010)

Rule #4...when you put the "sack" from a buck on your uncles gear shift...go home BEFORE you find yourself in skivvies inside of the airborn sleeping bag into a cold and wet snowdrift.


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## deeker (Sep 21, 2010)

About 8 or 9 years ago....Walter ( I later dropped my inverted 4x4 Grizzly on his head ) was supposed to be at ridge "A" to be picked up by 5pm.

Heavy snow and I mean heavy snow....even for the 8500' elevation we were at....made him hole up under a big pine at the starting point.

9pm...we found him....under the same tree....freeeeeezing.....

He did make us laugh....or we laughed at him...he told us about "this squirrel was heading sideways toward my tree in the snow...then it got under the tree....turned out it was a weasel with a dead squirrel".

We did start laughing when my dad said..."Walter, you have a lot of nerve being sooooo ugly that you scared a weasel off of its last meal"....


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## discounthunter (Sep 22, 2010)

one Fall as we were brush hogging one of the fields near the cabin ,lloyd who was wearing those over sizes leathergloves that protect you from anything but prevent you from picking anything up, suddenly fell off his tractor(an old 8n) and was rolling around,he finnally got up ,ran to the tractor(which that goodness was just chugging away in lo) and stopped it. when we got up to him(he has a heart condition)to see what was the matter. he showed us his glove with a huge burn hole thru it. come to find out he was smoking a cigar and had forgot about it till it burned thru the glove!


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## ShoerFast (Sep 22, 2010)

This was some time ago, but remember it like it were last week, I tell you. 

Just a kid, and maybe a little to read up on the hunting stories, but some of the tactics sounded good. So I decided to give them a try, my first elk hunt!

Was a fairly damp year, hunting water would not be necessary, latter season hunt, the bulls would not be in rut. A tactic that seemed best was the idea that elk kind of go back to doing what they were doing before the rut, after the rut, that pre-rut scouting was a good idea. Made it the plan!

All summer long I rode everywhere I could scouting for tracks, looking for the biggest elk tracks I could find. Sort of lost one day, way back in the boondocks, seen some tracks that were the biggest I ever seen! Water swirling into the tracks as I come across them, I just missed him, but he was huge!

Quietly backtracking the area to not spook him, I noticed that the whole area was shadowed by a spur that over-looked everything. A ridge that I knew I wanted to be on the first day of my hunt. 

Studying topos, found a way up the mountain that would drop down to the area I wanted to be before first light, this had to work!

I could hardly sleep the night before, and way before first light found my way up the mountain and to the top of the spur that would bring me to the overlook. 

Quit as I could, hardly ever snapping a stick bigger then a pencil-lead, I froze if I did, got to the spur and slowly sneaked along, slight breeze in my face the whole way, nothing could have been better! 

Closing in of the area just as a very slight light was braking in the east, I could have swore I smelled elk? 

Leaning on a huge ol tree to steady myself, as I thought I could hear my own heart beat, but this was louder! Just as I noticed, that tree I was leaning on had hair instead on bark, the heart I was hearing was from the pulse in his front leg!! There he was, right above me!!!

Slipping my old Mouser off my shoulder, slowly raising the rifle right between his legs to punch a hole right into his heart, he hears the safety click off and rolls his head down to great me, it looked like a couple cottonwood trees for how big his antlers were as they blocked out the stars! 

Before I knew what happened, whoooosh with hollowed cheeks he sucked me up whole so fast I dropped my rifle. 

Well this looked like the end of the ol shoer, but somehow I had a plan, I knew I couldn't miss. Dropped my rifle, but I still had a box of bullets and a knife, I built a fire out of bark and sticks that were in there and tossed the box of bullets right in the fire, and hid behind the liver. 

Bam, Bap, Bam, Bam, Bam, and the bucking, pitching and rolling he did! 

Took me two weeks to cut my way out of him, living on venison the whole time!


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## deeker (Sep 22, 2010)

ShoerFast said:


> This was some time ago, but remember it like it were last week, I tell you.
> 
> Just a kid, and maybe a little to read up on the hunting stories, but some of the tactics sounded good. So I decided to give them a try, my first elk hunt!
> 
> ...


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## cassandrasdaddy (Sep 23, 2010)

*one group of boys were more drinkers than hunters*

all except willie he was a hunter. he was also a good cook and tradition was he'd get up first cook a big breakfast for everyone then he'd head out to his stand was always a good spot and he was always in it before first light. one year he went to bed early and the boys got hungry. lazy sob's they snuck into willies room and set his clock ahead so it went off at 1 am but said 4:30. willie rolled out fixed a big meal commented how shocked he was everyone got up so early. after he cooked and ate he headed to his stand. at 2:15 am 19 degrees in the wva woods. he got a great buck but we almost dies as he described how dogone long it seemed to take for the son to come up and how he was so cold he almost couldn't shoot.he was some kinda ticked when he found out that they sent h up that mountain 4 hours early that was a bad group for pranks i never went back and i definitely wouldn't have eaten his cooking unless he ate first


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## XD_Dawg (Sep 23, 2010)

Rule #1 in all of our camps: What happens in the mountains STAYS in the mountains. 

Seems some of the mothers and wives of the earlier guys were teetotalers so that rule was adopted so they didn't find out there was a little sipping at night around the fire.


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## luckycutter (Sep 24, 2010)

Pay attention to the old timers. They are not stupid.


I went on my first elk hunt with some neighbors who were kind enough to show me the ropes.I did not have a tag I just wanted to go on a trip first to see what it was all about. Their routine was to play cards and drink until the we hours of the morning, get a couple of winks then head out in the frozen snow covered mountains to get their stands before daybreak. I was a bit disappointed when I was assigned to "grandpa" as he was around 75 and I knew he could not walk far, if at all. The next morning the 40 year olds "sons of grandpa, got up, stumbled around a bit and headed off in the dark cold of morning to their areas. Grandpa told me to "go back asleep" I awoke again and it was light out. Grandpa leisurely cooked the two of us a full breakfast. As we got into his mini pickup he explained, "My sons are so stupid. They cheated themselves out of a good sleep, left with out breakfast, walked themselves half to death and have now been slowly freezing to death the last 4 hours in their stands. If they do get an elk they will nearly work themselves to death dragging that beast back to camp. Any fool that has hunted this area knows an easier way." By that time I thought the old coot had lost his mind. We then pulled over for a bit. To my utter amazement just like on que, a small herd came into the opening. Grandpa downed one just as the elk hit the embankment. He then backed the truck into the embankment and we rolled the elk down into the pick up bed. I could swear that elk was laying on a large "X". Our trip lasted all of 30 minutes. His sons staggered back to camp about an hour after dark. They were dead tired, freezing, starving and could not believe their dad got the first elk....again.


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## PasoRoblesJimmy (Sep 24, 2010)

On one of the Boy Scout camping trips that I was on, we were standing around next to the campfire and talking. All of a sudden, we heard a loud boom and scalding hot Chili con Carne sprayed all over my arm. The pain from the hot chili was terrible.

Turns out, a kid who was sharing my 2 man tent with me buried a sealed can of Chili con Carne in the hot coals of the campfire and didn't bother to tell anybody about it. The side of the sealed can facing me exploded and blew wide open. My burns could have been much worse.

The kid kept a low profile and hid out from me the rest of the weekend. I kicked him out of my tent and I was more than ready to pounce on him and kick his butt.

On that same weekend, the slow learner then caught a baby rattlesnake and was carrying it around camp in a glass mason jar. 

Everybody in my Boy Scout troop avoided him like the plague.


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## ShoerFast (Sep 24, 2010)

*Das Notten!*






Dis is true, cause here is da picture of the new world record whitetail. It was taken by the cousin of a co-worker's sister's, uncle's, best friend's, son-in-law's, niece's hairdresser's, neighbor's ex-boyfriend's oldest nephew. Reportedly it will score 2603-1/8 by B&C standard and was shot in the left side on a really windy day, 60-degrees downhill, around a curve, at 900 yards, with a handloaded 22 short-magum, rimfire bullet.



Supposedly, this deer had killed a Brahma bull, two Land Rovers and six Jehovah's Witnesses in the last two weeks alone. They said it was winning a fight with Bigfoot when it was shot. It had also been confirmed that the buck had been seen drinking discharge water from a nuclear power plant.

But I don't believe part of that, 6 Jehovah's Witnesses, come on, 4 maybe?


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## deeker (Sep 24, 2010)

Shoer, you know ya go to hell fer lyin????


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## deeker (Sep 24, 2010)

While building a log cabin in Scare Canyon above Hyrum Utah, with my cousin Tom. He is the building contractor, I am the log stacker...

For four mid September mornings, after fairly cool and rain soaked nights I would gather a few dozen puff ball mushrooms. The first three mornings, I would cook us breakfast of eggs/bacon and hash-browns. With a side order of onion/garlic butter fried puff ball mushrooms. 

For three days he would sneer and offer his opinion of my impending doom...

The fourth day I had gathered a couple of different colored puff ball mushrooms, they were about 8 inches across. I sliced them half an inch thick and fried them as usual.

He noticed they were a different color when I was slicing and cooking them.
He got brave and decided to eat one slice and then several....

Finally he said...."are you going to eat the rest of the slices"?. I said no, not till I knew if you would die or not.....

He kind of got gray around the gills......

Finally about lunch time I ate the rest of them.

He still has NOT forgiven me for that one.


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## deeker (Sep 24, 2010)

Another one, but I must warn all of you...my father and my cousin Tom are LIARS and both have severe dementia/Alzheimer's.

The part they seem to LIE about is the time of day this all began. I think they are confused as hell.

Several years ago....while leaving our hunting area southwest of Nephi Utah.
It is fairly steep hills and covered with juniper trees and sagebrush.

While driving my dads one ton dodge and 12' camper....Tom in the middle and my dad on the passenger side....

I could see deer off to the west on a bald knoll....I turned the truck toward them....spotted a fair sized 3x3 mule deer....

Hop from the truck and put a 165grn .30 cal bullet in the upper part of his neck.

My cousin and I go toward the deer and decide there were camps a bit closer than I was comfy with...so we grabbed the deer by the antlers...and started to run toward the truck/camper. Tom was playing for Snow College at the time, and I was in pretty good shape....

My dad opens the camper door and has a tarp on the floor....thinking I wanted to dress out the deer further from camps.

We put the buck in the camper....my dad tells me to hop in the camper...and he and Tom get in the truck and start driving....

About the time we get into Nephi, I hear the buck making a lot of noise. Any dead animal making ANY noise's is a LOT of noise...then he starts flailing around in the camper....

I stick my head through the trucks rear window/camper window and announce the situation...

My dad calmly tells Tom to shut the window as "Kevin started this mess"....

Ever been in a camper with a 3x3 mule deer that is trying to regain his composure??? Not much space....and only a knife.

I am glad he gave up the ghost BEFORE I did.

They seem to think it was very very very late afternoon. When it was only late afternoon.


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## outdoorlivin247 (Sep 24, 2010)

Boy, thank God deer camp can't talk....:jawdrop:


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## Timberframed (Sep 24, 2010)

PasoRoblesJimmy said:


> On one of the Boy Scout camping trips that I was on, we were standing around next to the campfire and talking. All of a sudden, we heard a loud boom and scalding hot Chili con Carne sprayed all over my arm. The pain from the hot chili was terrible.
> 
> Turns out, a kid who was sharing my 2 man tent with me buried a sealed can of Chili con Carne in the hot coals of the campfire and didn't bother to tell anybody about it. The side of the sealed can facing me exploded and blew wide open. My burns could have been much worse.
> 
> ...



Sooo...banish and humiliate him...or guide him and teach him. Doesn't help much when we reject the young ones for failure to ...teach our children well! personally I don't belong to that club where I never made a mistake at camp when I was a young'in. Boy got a rattlesnake in a jar? Trying to heat up a can of chile like a baked potatoe? This boy has potential!


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## PasoRoblesJimmy (Sep 29, 2010)

ShoerFast said:


> Dis is true, cause here is da picture of the new world record whitetail. It was taken by the cousin of a co-worker's sister's, uncle's, best friend's, son-in-law's, niece's hairdresser's, neighbor's ex-boyfriend's oldest nephew. Reportedly it will score 2603-1/8 by B&C standard and was shot in the left side on a really windy day, 60-degrees downhill, around a curve, at 900 yards, with a handloaded 22 short-magum, rimfire bullet.
> 
> Supposedly, this deer had killed a Brahma bull, two Land Rovers and six Jehovah's Witnesses in the last two weeks alone. They said it was winning a fight with Bigfoot when it was shot. It had also been confirmed that the buck had been seen drinking discharge water from a nuclear power plant.
> 
> But I don't believe part of that, 6 Jehovah's Witnesses, come on, 4 maybe?



More likely, them JWs committed suicide by OD from the lies contained in their own JW cult literature.


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## PasoRoblesJimmy (Sep 29, 2010)

Timberframed said:


> Sooo...banish and humiliate him...or guide him and teach him. Doesn't help much when we reject the young ones for failure to ...teach our children well! personally I don't belong to that club where I never made a mistake at camp when I was a young'in. Boy got a rattlesnake in a jar? Trying to heat up a can of chile like a baked potatoe? This boy has potential!



The "not so bright" boy dropped out of our Boy Scout troop right after this camping trip incident. 

This brilliant "wet behind the ears" loser then went on to become a white boy pretending to be a Pachuko. Got himself into lots of trouble with the authorities in high school.


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## derwoodii (Oct 2, 2010)

*Manners ethics & gun handling tips*

Rule #5. It is impolite to handle another man's ammo, rifle or wife.
One should never ask, even if offered.... Never accept the gun or bullets.


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## deeker (Oct 2, 2010)

derwoodii said:


> Rule #5. It is impolite to handle another man's ammo, rifle or wife.
> One should never ask, even if offered.... Never accept the gun or bullets.



Rule #6 Insulting or iritating anothers mans wife will get you a beating, insulting another mans bird dog will get you dead.


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## derwoodii (Oct 2, 2010)

Rule #7 Camp safety tip. You should assume all firearms are loaded. You can guarantee that of a rifle leaning against the car door in a shootin camp littered with empty beer cans. 
The safety catch, don't bother lookin it will be released.


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