# Pratical jokes in the woods.



## wowzers (Jun 29, 2012)

So we all work hard out there but sometimes it is fun to lighten the mood a little with some jokes. One good one is sticking a stick in the chocker bell and button as you close it so the landing guy can't open it. Anyone got some good ones?


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## sodbreaker (Jun 29, 2012)

One of the bosses I work for always talks about finding a "current bush" to plug a coffee pot into. So one day last winter I picked up one of those external speakers for a cell phone. Cut a slot in a stump just big enough for the phone, plugged the speaker in, turned it on, and filled the top of the slot with saw dust. The boss comes out to check the progress on the project. He hears the music and starts looking around til he sees the speaker, stares at it for a while, shakes his head, gets back in his truck and drives off to check on the other crew.:msp_tongue:

Sod breaker


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## Rounder (Jun 29, 2012)

Rock in the pack, grease gun windshield wipers or underside of door handles, grease pumped through exuast port on cutting pard's saw that juices your strip, half- melted snickers bar poking out from underneath a rock with some #### tickets scattered around in the middle of the next landing.......I'll stop while I'm behind.


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## Humptulips (Jun 29, 2012)

Never was much into practical jokes but this is one I got a kick out of and was the comeupance of a practical joker.

We were eating lunch out in the brush, nosebags having been sent out on the rigging. The rigging slinger, Bob, was always pulling a trick on someone. We were all sitting on a log and there happened to be a lot of sawdust there.
I was sitting next to Bob and his gloves were laying on the log between us. I picked one up and started filling it with sawdust. Now, Bob seen this but for some reason he thought it was one of the chokermans gloves. I picked up a stick and started tamping down the fingers tight. All the time Bob is snickering. I packed that glove tight clear to the top then picked up the other glove and did the same. About the time I was done lunch was over and the rigging was coming back to send in our buckets. About this time Bob starts looking around for his gloves and the realization sets in that the packed gloves are his.
Of course the first thing he said was you son of a #&**!
Everybody got a good laugh but it took Bob a few hours to appreciate it.

You can't win sending a fouled bell, a threaded choker or the like to the chaser. They can always get even in spades. Better to not start a war with the landing.


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## GASoline71 (Jun 29, 2012)

LOL! I can tell you it's not a good idea to fill the Siderods lunch pail full of bar oil!  With his lunch still in it! 

It was retaliation for filling my hard hat with gear oil... I had to dump that crap out and wear that stinky thing the rest of an August day. I had gear oil in my hair for a week.

Gary


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## Rounder (Jun 29, 2012)

Almost forgot...One of the hookers found a nice ripe elk ballooned up and sent it up to the landing once...

Talking last week with one of the heli-hookers at the motel, used to work with columbia. Got shipped down to Florida for a job. Hiking out at the end of the day, he and pard came across a medium gator. Wrestled it and got it's mouth tied shut with one of those rope chokers and threw another choker around a leg. Called the bird back and had him drop mister gator in the back of the PM's pick up. That's kind of tough to beat.


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## wowzers (Jun 30, 2012)

The glove finger full of grease is pretty cruel. One of the guys I work with is always getting food from his Grndma. One day he took a chunk of mud off the track of the yarder cut it into a square and put it into a sandwich bag. Come lunch he asked if anyone wanted some homemade fudge his Grandma had made. We're all BSing at lunch when the guy took a bite. Not sure if I have laughed that hard before.


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## imagineero (Jun 30, 2012)

We worked with a guy nobody liked over in NZ and started messing with him, it was nothing major, just small stuff. I emptied my money box out and took out all the 5c coins, was about $5 worth. Then I just started leaving them in not very obvious places where I knew he'd come across a bunch of them over time. Nothing real obvious like inside his saw air filter, just little stuff like put one every now and then under a fuel jug, in the door handle of his truck, near his lunch box etc... doesn't sound like anything major, but when you've got them all over it starts to add up. He was sharing a house with another guy and I talked him round to putting them in not so obvious places all round the house. He never said nothing about it, but you've got to imagine he started wondering where all the 5c pieces were coming from. Wondering if it was the same one, or a different one etc..

Then I started just casually slipping stuff into the conversation like;

me "man, drove into work this morning and fueled up and the price of fuel has gone up again"

him "####, really? they're always putting it up"

me "I know man! It's gone up by 5c a litre! The guy was saying it's going up another 5c at the end of the month!"

One of the best ones that happened was totally unplanned. I happened past the target guy and a greenhorn one day and picked up a 5c piece off the ground that I hadn't even put there. The greenhorn wasn't in on it, it just happened;

me "well, look at that... a 5c piece!"

greenhorn "must be your lucky day! Whats the odds of finding 5c out here?"

me "yeah but 5c is nothing really, what cna you buy with 5c?"

greenhorn "might not seem like much, but 20 5c pieces makes a dollar"

me "nobody's going to find 20 5c pieces"

greenhorn "yeah I guess your right, that would be some kind of luck"

All the while, the target guy was looking at us real weird!

We did some other more basic pranks to the guy too... got up to the office one day and emptied out all the 'punches' from the hole punch things. Had a bunch of them... got into his truck, stuffed them all down in the air conditioner vents. Then aimed all the vents at his face and turned the air con full on, and turned the radio on full blast too. Come home time, we were all watching.

Another trick that people use sometimes in aus is the old roadkill on the diff. If you find a small bit of fresh roadkill, get a bit of rope and tie it around the roadkill's neck, then tie the other end to the diff. Make the rope nice and long, 20-30feet is good. Coil all the rope up and bundle it and the roadkill up on top of the diff so you cant see it. When the guy drives off, the roadkill falls off the diff and he's towing it. Big crowd pleaser, especially if some law enforcement happens by.

Shaun


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## GASoline71 (Jun 30, 2012)

wowzers said:


> The glove finger full of grease is pretty cruel. One of the guys I work with is always getting food from his Grndma. One day he took a chunk of mud off the track of the yarder cut it into a square and put it into a sandwich bag. Come lunch he asked if anyone wanted some homemade fudge his Grandma had made. We're all BSing at lunch when the guy took a bite. Not sure if I have laughed that hard before.



AAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! That is damn funny!  

Gary


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## madhatte (Jun 30, 2012)

imagineero said:


> got up to the office one day and emptied out all the 'punches' from the hole punch things. Had a bunch of them... got into his truck, stuffed them all down in the air conditioner vents. Then aimed all the vents at his face and turned the air con full on, and turned the radio on full blast too. Come home time, we were all watching.



That was a regular one on the Boat. We called 'em "Dit-Dot Bombs". Ventilation, door jambs, shower stalls, anywhere somebody was likely to be was fair game.


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## k5alive (Jun 30, 2012)

We did some other more basic pranks to the guy too... got up to the office one day and emptied out all the 'punches' from the hole punch things. Had a bunch of them... got into his truck, stuffed them all down in the air conditioner vents. Then aimed all the vents at his face and turned the air con full on, and turned the radio on full blast too. Come home time, we were all watching.




we did something like that to a new guy, but all we had was sand. still pretty funny.


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## KenJax Tree (Jun 30, 2012)

I sent a saw down to a groundie for gas and oil and be also flipped my chain around:mad2:


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## mdavlee (Jun 30, 2012)

The copper anti seize in gloves is a good one but messy. I've heard of guys putting it on hard hat bands but that's beyond my level of a joke. At one power plant they were filling everybodys hard hats up with water if they were found sitting. you go to put it on and get doused. Then they started freezing them full of water. Stainless tig wire sharpened up like tungsten is another good one if you're around someone tig welding.


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## carym2a (Jun 30, 2012)

Never-seize or anti-seize, a little dab will do ya


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## 1969cj-5 (Jun 30, 2012)

GASoline71 said:


> LOL! I can tell you it's not a good idea to fill the Siderods lunch pail full of bar oil! With his lunch still in it!
> 
> It was retaliation for filling my hard hat with gear oil... I had to dump that crap out and wear that stinky thing the rest of an August day. I had gear oil in my hair for a week.
> 
> Gary



90 weight has a stink all it's own.


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## ChainsawmanXX (Jun 30, 2012)

Wasnt logging but in the family mill. 
Hired a greenie that was always worried about putting sun lotion on. Filled up his brand new suntan lotion bottle with mayonaise! Never laughed so hard. 

Orrr putting flour in my sisters hair dryer!


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## RandyMac (Jun 30, 2012)

Back in my Happy Camp days, I took a two week job cutting 36" DF for peelers. The loaderman was a crotch, he also kept the tally 'cause he owned the timber. That man could spot "defect" from 50 feet, deductions were liberal, there was no discussion. On my last day I came across some sort of oak, that kind with the spiny husks on the acorn, the bark looked very close to Doug Fir. I got to thinking about that wussy John Deere loader. I felled it, bucked a 30" 32 off it, mudded the ends. When the chokerman came by, a Karuk lad of 16, I borrowed one of his chokers. When I told him to take this one last, he just laughed. I made a dozen more stumps and walked up the hill, hung out on the landing with the truckdrivers and the other two fallers. 3 beers later, the old D7 pulls in with the oak log, Mr. Loaderman whips over, planning to snatch it up, turn and drop it on a dolly. Oh the look on his face when the backend came off the ground.


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## slowp (Jul 1, 2012)

Let me see. 

The rock in the pack has been mentioned. Ketchup packs with holes poked in them placed in boots works.
A mean trick, and only done as a last resort is sardine juice poured down the pickup heater vents. Then there's sending your new helper down to make sure the corner blocks have the slash cleared from around them on a standing skyline operation. The bees nest put in pickup and heater turned on must be done on a cold day. 

Enough for ya yet?


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## Gavman (Jul 1, 2012)

two mechanics up here playing the game a few years a go doing lots of things to each other, second to last was one guy screws a grease nipple to others tool box and leaves the automatic greaser on overnight, big mess in the morning....

A few mondays later the other guy comes in and hands the grease nipple prank guy the keys to a storage locker at LAX airport, if you want your tools back you need to fly down there and go get em..


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## wowzers (Jul 1, 2012)

The same guy who made the track fudge worked at a mill before he started hooking. At the mill he filled up a guy's romeos full of water and put them in the freezer.


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## Joe46 (Jul 1, 2012)

wowzers said:


> The same guy who made the track fudge worked at a mill before he started hooking. At the mill he filled up a guy's romeos full of water and put them in the freezer.



Is he still alive? Walking with a limp? Nervous twitch?


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## imagineero (Jul 2, 2012)

A canadian fireline worker I had grounding for me last year told me about a real nasty one. I haven't been game to try it yet, I think I'd have to be ready to go straight to punches.

This trick really only works with guys who have big asses, and is best left for summer. You pick up some of the sugar sachets they give you at coffee shops. Throw 'em in your pocket and keep 'em handy. Keep an eye on your target, and wait for him to bend over to pick something up like his saw. Guys with big fat asses are generally big fat bastards, so they don't bend at the knee to often and they move slow. You should see it coming from a mile away. As he starts to bend over, rip to tops off a couple of your sugar sachets. As his shirt lifts up and exposes his butt crack, pour the sugar down in there. 

In the heat with all that sweat... it wont take long at all until that sugar turns into sandy syrup. The stickiness and chafe must be enough to drive any man crazy. Apparently it's not unheard of in canada, all I can say is they must be real patient people. If anyone tried something like that in aus I think it would end with a burial.

Shaun


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## KenJax Tree (Jul 2, 2012)

imagineero said:


> A canadian fireline worker I had grounding for me last year told me about a real nasty one. I haven't been game to try it yet, I think I'd have to be ready to go straight to punches.
> 
> This trick really only works with guys who have big asses, and is best left for summer. You pick up some of the sugar sachets they give you at coffee shops. Throw 'em in your pocket and keep 'em handy. Keep an eye on your target, and wait for him to bend over to pick something up like his saw. Guys with big fat asses are generally big fat bastards, so they don't bend at the knee to often and they move slow. You should see it coming from a mile away. As he starts to bend over, rip to tops off a couple of your sugar sachets. As his shirt lifts up and exposes his butt crack, pour the sugar down in there.
> 
> ...



I think saw dust would be worse, imagine a hand full of saw dust in the crack.


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## imagineero (Jul 2, 2012)

KenJax Tree said:


> I think saw dust would be worse, imagine a hand full of saw dust in the crack.



As a full time climber it's not too hard to imagine that. Climbing all over trees and getting into some weird positions, cutting overhead etc... it doesn't take long before sawdust ends up in every conceivable part of your body. Sawdust in your butt crack isn't pleasant, but I think the sugar would be a whole lot worse.

Shaun


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## Spotted Owl (Jul 3, 2012)

imagineero said:


> A canadian fireline worker I had grounding for me last year told me about a real nasty one. I haven't been game to try it yet, I think I'd have to be ready to go straight to punches.
> 
> This trick really only works with guys who have big asses, and is best left for summer. You pick up some of the sugar sachets they give you at coffee shops. Throw 'em in your pocket and keep 'em handy. Keep an eye on your target, and wait for him to bend over to pick something up like his saw. Guys with big fat asses are generally big fat bastards, so they don't bend at the knee to often and they move slow. You should see it coming from a mile away. As he starts to bend over, rip to tops off a couple of your sugar sachets. As his shirt lifts up and exposes his butt crack, pour the sugar down in there.
> 
> ...



Seems to me that a guy caught doing this might find a good one played back. Something like the attractor goo in yellow jacket traps smeared inside the hard hat. My favorite is poison oak rubbed liberally into the hat band of your hard hat. But it's no fun when things escalate to such a level.

We used to remove all the nails off guys corks now and then in the crummy on the way up, or lace them up backwards, cut the little finger off gloves, take the TP out of the bag and replace with cones. Come quitting time we would send up piles of limbs with the turn until they figured out we knew that the time was getting moved some. Or we would save the biggest stick we had fofr last and beat it out of the brush and yell at the yarder what was taking so long. That had to be done just right to make it a pain in the butt and still be safe coming in.



Owl


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## Samlock (Jul 4, 2012)

Once we found a fresh snake skin hanging on a bush, it looked quite realistic, so we put in a mate's sleeping bag just to see how he might react. The joke went wrong in a way. He happily slept with the skin and never complained about it. Finally we had to suggest he should do the honorable thing and engage it.


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## Hddnis (Jul 9, 2012)

Had a know-it-all impatient jerk one time that needed a lesson. He parked his pickup truck in such a way that he had to back out, so we put a soccer ball size rock behind each tire. He gets in, throws it in reverse and goes nowhere, so he gives it a little gas and still goes nowhere. Thinking he must have parked in a rut he puts it in drive and pulls forward several feet. Then he engages the 4x4, puts it in reverse and guns it hard. He hit the rocks fast enough to catch some air and then hit the roof with his head. The pickup lurched a little sideways and he landed in a heap in the middle of the bench seat. He uprighted himself and stopped the truck and then sat there with a really funny dazed look on his face for a long time before very slowly and carefully backing up and then slowly driving off. I don't know if he ever saw the rocks in the grass or not.






Mr. HE


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## imagineero (Jul 9, 2012)

Sounds like concussion.


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## Eccentric (Jul 10, 2012)

Gavman said:


> two mechanics up here playing the game a few years a go doing lots of things to each other, second to last was one guy screws a grease nipple to others tool box and leaves the automatic greaser on overnight, big mess in the morning....
> 
> A few mondays later the other guy comes in and hands the grease nipple prank guy the keys to a storage locker at LAX airport, if you want your tools back you need to fly down there and go get em..



That sort of thing went on in the shop I worked in. Thank God I was only a spectator. Not in the woods, but in a saw/*** shop. One guy filled another's road tool box (top opening, with a single tray and no drawers) with water and put it in one of the freezers when the 'victom' had a couple days off . This was a Sears Service Center where appliances were serviced, as well as saws and lawn/garden equipment. The guy was giggling like a schoolgirl as he taped over the holes and seams on the box to make it watertight. Mr jokester got the box out of the freezer, peeled off the tape, and placed it back on the other guy's bench a few minutes before he came in...

Payback came with a grease nipple on the first jokester's roller toolbox. A long pumping session with the air grease gun (while the guy was out on road calls) filled one drawer to the point where it took GREAT time and effort to open it. What a mess...

Counter payback was hanging Mr Greasegun's roller box high up in the rafters of the storage warehouse (using the manlift). He then hid the keys to said manlift. Took the poor guy forever to find the box, and even longer to get the keys. Dangerous.........but I have to admit I laughed quite a bit at the time. The joker in that one had to make sure nobody walked under the box (for obvious reasons) without letting the management types get wind of it.....


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## northmanlogging (Jul 10, 2012)

buddy of mine used to work at at a place that built job shacks etc... had a guy kept messin with him, so he stabbed a bunch of holes in a couple few cans of spray foam and tossed em in the guys locker...


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## mile9socounty (Jul 12, 2012)

Coolade powder + dry gloves + rainy day = pink/purple/red/blue hands. Works good on the inside of sweat bands. I was cutting with a friend of mine out of Camas Valley. He had to go back to the pick up for some odd reason. Well the good thing about 3ft ferns, you can hide a saw pretty easy. Took him almost a half hour of ranting and kicking stuff to find it. Find a 30ft tall tree, something pretty bendible, climb it, pull it over and run the top through the gas tank handle of a saw, let it spring back up. Folks get mad when their saw is 25ft off the ground. Take a ziptie, put it around the rear drive line somewhere where the end of it will smack against something. They will hear it and it will drive a person nuts.


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## Hddnis (Jul 13, 2012)

imagineero said:


> Sounds like concussion.





Could be, but I really don't think so. See, a concussion is damage to the brain and so getting one would require having a brain to damage. I, unedumacated as I am in things medical, can safely say that there was no brain to damage in this fellows head. Now, his backside did hit the seat awfully hard... 




Mr. HE


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## gavin (Jul 30, 2012)

a friend of a friend bought a bigfoot costume to sneak up on his partner on the hike out.


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