# This was not my idea. Really...



## Philip Wheelock (Apr 17, 2015)

My buddy asked me to help out getting a good size oak felled, limbed, and bucked on his property. Said he didn't like working along when doing this type of work; now I know why.  He decided to set a rope 2/3 up the tree and tie off to his backhoe. Then set a ladder on his bucket tractor, make a back cut (no face) as far as he would reach, then go back and yank the tree down with the backhoe. I said why not make a proper cut on the ground, put the tree where it needs to go, and eliminate the risk. He said because of the proximity of power lines (visible in one picture) and his intent to do as little damage to trees near the felling line, he'd prefer to do it his way; said he'd done it this way lots of times. Thought he was going to cut his leg off trying to start the saw on the ladder. Anyway, I yelled at him to stop cutting when I saw the tree was starting to give. The backhoe wasn't far enough away and I figured the tree top would catch the cab, but the tree, with no hinge to control the fall, went its own way, smashing a couple of maples and cleaning off the lower branches of the pine he wanted to leave alone. Then he proceeded with the cleanup with a top handle saw, holding the small stuff with one hand and one-handing the saw with the other. You can't make this stuff up. Pictures tell the story:


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## chris zautner (Apr 17, 2015)

lol


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## cupar (Apr 17, 2015)

I'd have loved to set up a lawn chair and crack a beer and watched


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## Cope1024 (Apr 17, 2015)

He is a fortunate fool, no wonder he wanted an observer.


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## Poleman (Apr 17, 2015)

Glad you were there to dial the last 1 in 911 when he needed it..........OMG. 

That's hope people get hurt and killed. He shoulda listened to you and he would still have undamaged trees also....


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## SliverPicker (Apr 17, 2015)

Awesome! Did you get any video?


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## Zero_sum (Apr 17, 2015)

Good lord.....


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## Jed1124 (Apr 17, 2015)

Glad your friend didn't get killed.


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## fearofpavement (Apr 17, 2015)

Ladder + chainsaw = trouble. Ladder in tractor bucket is a multiplier of the amount and severity of things that can go wrong. Glad no one was hurt...


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## SliverPicker (Apr 17, 2015)

Seriously. What could happen?


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## Raganr (Apr 17, 2015)

Been in a bucket with a saw and did not like it. Cant even imagine a ladder in a bucket. Glad everyone made it home.


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## northmanlogging (Apr 17, 2015)

Is it kosher to call in the EMT's before they are actually needed... like for a sports event?


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## Joe46 (Apr 18, 2015)

No offense meant, but I question your choice of Buddies!


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## chucker (Apr 18, 2015)

Philip Wheelock said:


> My buddy asked me to help out getting a good size oak felled, limbed, and bucked on his property. Said he didn't like working along when doing this type of work; now I know why.  He decided to set a rope 2/3 up the tree and tie off to his backhoe. Then set a ladder on his bucket tractor, make a back cut (no face) as far as he would reach, then go back and yank the tree down with the backhoe. I said why not make a proper cut on the ground, put the tree where it needs to go, and eliminate the risk. He said because of the proximity of power lines (visible in one picture) and his intent to do as little damage to trees near the felling line, he'd prefer to do it his way; said he'd done it this way lots of times. Thought he was going to cut his leg off trying to start the saw on the ladder. Anyway, I yelled at him to stop cutting when I saw the tree was starting to give. The backhoe wasn't far enough away and I figured the tree top would catch the cab, but the tree, with no hinge to control the fall, went its own way, smashing a couple of maples and cleaning off the lower branches of the pine he wanted to leave alone. Then he proceeded with the cleanup with a top handle saw, holding the small stuff with one hand and one-handing the saw with the other. You can't make this stuff up. Pictures tell the story:
> 
> View attachment 419682
> View attachment 419683


this just proves "you can not stop or fix stupid"....... makes you wonder how some make it to the old age of senior?


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## _RJ_ (Apr 18, 2015)

Is this him too?


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## Philip Wheelock (Apr 18, 2015)

northmanlogging said:


> Is it kosher to call in the EMT's before they are actually needed... like for a sports event?


Yeah, I was snapping pix for the entertainment value, figuring I could call 911 and that he'd probably survive, up to the point where he was making his back cut (no face) with his head directly in the path of what I figured was a chair for sure. Also occurred to me that the stem might then hop backward and pile drive him into the ground. At that point I lost all interest in entertainment and started yelling at him for all I was worth. Too bad I lost my nerve; you would have enjoyed the photo of him making the back cut.

He's made mistakes in judgement before, like the time he made a riding ring out of 3' diameter boulders twenty years ago. Of course, a horse later bucked him head-first into one of the boulders. He still has a sore neck from that...


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## gary courtney (Apr 18, 2015)

_RJ_ said:


> Is this him too?
> 
> View attachment 419796


now that is funny!


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## tla100 (Apr 18, 2015)

Sooo either watch your buddy get hurt and laugh or take control of the situation ? Is this a professionals thread..........?


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## _RJ_ (Apr 18, 2015)

Philip Wheelock said:


> He's made mistakes in judgement before, like the time he made a riding ring out of 3' diameter boulders twenty years ago. Of course, a horse later bucked him head-first into one of the boulders. He still has a sore neck from that...



^^Epic


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## Gologit (Apr 18, 2015)

tla100 said:


> Is this a professionals thread..........?



Not in this particular case, no. This thread should probably be in the Firewood section.


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## chucker (Apr 18, 2015)

Gologit said:


> Not in this particular case, no. This thread should probably be in the Firewood section.


in the northern California loggers section of the firewood scroungers threads .... is this right gologit?? lol


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## Gologit (Apr 18, 2015)

chucker said:


> in the northern California loggers section of the firewood scroungers threads .... is this right gologit?? lol



Any place it will fit. Use your imagination. Just don't use too much of it.
Wheelock means well but I don't think loggers and foresters should be his prime target in this case. Most of us know better. All of us have seen people badly hurt and some of us have seen people killed. Sometimes people got killed because they did something stupid.
The Firewood section has a lot of newbies and weekend warriors who would probably try something like Wheelock posted unless they were cautioned against it. Hey, what could go wrong, right?
And in keeping with not getting any wars started or tender feelings bruised in the Firewood section I'll take it on faith that most of them would know better than to try something like Wheelock's buddy.
There's always a few who don't get the word though. They don't think things through or they don't think at all. They should put their chainsaws and ladders away and take up knitting doilys instead.


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## chucker (Apr 18, 2015)

truly stated like a professional!


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## pennsywoodburnr (Apr 18, 2015)

Gologit said:


> And in keeping with not getting any wars started or tender feelings bruised in the Firewood section I'll take it on faith that most of them would know better than to try something like Wheelock's buddy.



Absolutely. I would think 99% of the guys over there would've questioned if Wheellock's pal was smoking a crack pipe before he got into his set up like that. If you had gotten video of that, it could've been one of YouTube's 10 Best.


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## Philip Wheelock (Apr 18, 2015)

Gologit said:


> ...Wheelock means well but I don't think loggers and foresters should be his prime target in this case...


Right. This thread was originally posted for the benefit of the idiots in the chainsaw section, but since it didn't contain references to oil ratios, putting 36" bars on 50cc saws, ported saws, or soiled underwear (no lie), some moderator dumped it here. Not my idea. Really.


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## BeatCJ (Apr 18, 2015)

Oh well. No need for anyone to have a fit claiming their forum is superior or inferior. I had enough of the results of that InterWeb Commando stuff yesterday, I can't see any reason we can't just leave others alone.

In my mind, the Pics Forum would have been better, but I think everyone gets the idea it's bad berries.


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## Creeker (Apr 18, 2015)

Do enough stupid sh*t often enough and eventually.....................


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## Gologit (Apr 18, 2015)

Philip Wheelock said:


> Right. This thread was originally posted for the benefit of the idiots in the chainsaw section, but since it didn't contain references to oil ratios, putting 36" bars on 50cc saws, ported saws, or soiled underwear (no lie), some moderator dumped it here. Not my idea. Really.



We have some new moderators. They're tangled and stumbling in the robes of their Order.


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## Whitespider (Apr 18, 2015)

Gologit said:


> _*We have some new moderators. They're tangled and stumbling in the robes of their Order.*_


Yeah, maybe, that could be part of it... but don't discount we also have you.
I mean, c'mon... who exactly is it you think you are??
*


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## Gologit (Apr 18, 2015)

Whitespider said:


> Yeah, maybe, that could be part of it... but don't discount we also have you.
> I mean, c'mon... who exactly is it you think you are??
> *


 
What? I owe the likes of you an _explanation?_ That is really funny and I thank you for providing me...and quite a few other people...with a good laugh.
And for whatever it's worth...we're not laughing _with_ you, we're laughing _at_ you.

Better not move here either. You'd get laughed at even more.


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## Whitespider (Apr 18, 2015)

Gologit said:


> _*What? I owe the likes of you an explanation?*_


Owe me??  Really?? You think, that I think, you owe me?? 
And then... "_we're laughing at you_"??
How is I just knew you would think you could speak for others??
You're a funny man Gologit... you're surely "one-of-those".
Stop given yourself so much credit... it ain't warranted.
*


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## BeatCJ (Apr 18, 2015)

I think both sides are wrong. The instigation is long in the past, and I really don't care. I appreciate Whitespider' s point of view, and bickering like this I can get listening to my Mom and aunts.

As an ordained minister, I think all y'all should take it to Politics and Religion.

I could easily be wrong, but I suspect I speak for the majority. Won't be the first time today.


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## Gologit (Apr 19, 2015)

BeatCJ said:


> As an ordained minister....



Uh oh...does that mean that when you're around we can't cuss, chew, spit, or scratch where it itches?


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## bitzer (Apr 19, 2015)

Dammit now I gotta check my behavior?



Whitespider- you sir are what we call a cull. Too hot in Iowa to log. Thats funny. I spose it gets too cold there too.


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## BeatCJ (Apr 19, 2015)

As long as it's not on my keyboard, spitting is fine. And as for cussing, since a native language, that would be genocidal to ask that to go away. I never could figure out what the issue with scratching was, but since I'm pretty sure snoose is already known to The State of California to be hazardous to your health, I would be remiss in my responsibility to my fellow man if I were to condone that particular vice.


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## slowp (Apr 19, 2015)

One of the fallers I worked with is a minister. It seemed odd that he didn't cuss, or at least I never heard him although he has a pretty good grimace. No attempts at recruiting or saving either. I figured if I ever went to a church around here, I might try his. But so far I have remained a heathen.


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## northmanlogging (Apr 19, 2015)

well since we're on the minister subject... Ordained twice... Still a Heathen though. And as long as your scratching your itches and not mine everything is fine.


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## Whitespider (Apr 19, 2015)

bitzer said:


> _*Whitespider- you sir are what we call a cull.*_



Please don't call me "sir"... save that for the few here needin' a vanity boost.
It don't mean sour owl squat what y'all call me... but the fact ya' responded to that post does.
Now I get to laugh  I near spit my coffee all over the keyboard.
*


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## bitzer (Apr 19, 2015)

You are a sad individual. Good luck with whatever it is that you do.


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## Whitespider (Apr 19, 2015)

bitzer said:


> _*Good luck with whatever it is that you do.*_


I climb for livin'... well over the height of trees (yeah... there may be an extreme exception).
If I counted on luck... well... let's just say I ain't countin' on luck.
*


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## madhatte (Apr 20, 2015)

I think this is a fine place for this thread, mainly because I trust the good folks hereabouts to not get any ideas from the original post. 

Whitespider, on the other hand...


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## Whitespider (Apr 20, 2015)

madhatte said:


> _*Whitespider, on the other hand...*_


Hey‼
I had nothin' to do with puttin' this thread here.
*


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## Gypo Logger (Apr 20, 2015)

_RJ_ said:


> Is this him too?
> 
> View attachment 419796


Too funny! Note the beverage on the high stump in the fore ground. Lol


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## Gypo Logger (Apr 20, 2015)

Whitespider said:


> Yeah, maybe, that could be part of it... but don't discount we also have you.
> I mean, c'mon... who exactly is it you think you are??
> *


Maybe Bob the Bull Bucker would like to show us how its done.
Jack London was also a great novelist.


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## PJM (May 5, 2015)

Thought of your friend when I read this ...

*Man dies trimming from ladder*

A man was found dead after an apparent tree trimming accident March 10, 2015, in Zumbrota, Minnesota, about 25 miles north of Rochester. A friend notified authorities when Dale G., 73, of Zumbrota, didn’t show up for morning coffee on Wednesday. The Sheriff’s Office and Zumbrota Ambulance responded to G.’s residence home in Roscoe Township. G. had apparently been using two ladders and a tractor with bucket to trim a branch 20-25 feet off the ground. The Sheriff's Office said it appears the branch broke off while G. was cutting it with a chain saw. The branch hit the ladder G. was on, sending him to the ground. The accident is believed to have happened the day before he was found, according to the valleynewslive.com and KTTC Television report.
_
Source: TREE CARE INDUSTRY MAGAZINE – MAY 2015_


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## Stihlofadeal64 (May 5, 2015)

fearofpavement said:


> Ladder + chainsaw = trouble. Ladder in tractor bucket is a multiplier of the amount and severity of things that can go wrong. Glad no one was hurt...



TRUTH! I just visited a very dear friend in our largest regional medical center. He was trimming a limb from a ladder, with a chain saw. No one else was around to watch, help or make sure he was safe. Not knowing how he cut the limb -- we do know the limb came back or fell in such a way that it knocked him from the ladder. He broke his leg bone in two in the fall, and severely fractured bones in his face in the fall. He has had 2 surgeries -- and a long road to recovery. Safety is very important. The cost otherwise is very high! Be safe guys!


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## imagineero (May 12, 2015)

Whitespider said:


> I climb for livin'... well over the height of trees



That's a pretty good trick climbing well over the height of the trees and all. Once you get past the top of the tree do you just fill yourself up with hot air and keep on rising?


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## Whitespider (May 12, 2015)

imagineero said:


> *That's a pretty good trick...*


Ummmmm......
I climb communication towers (and any other structure taller than the trees)... high-speed point-to-point communications antennas ain't much good unless they're some distance above the trees. Luckily I don't live 'n' work where the Redwoods grow, them are some tall trees... typically something between 100' and 300' gets it done 'round here depending on the terrain between points.
*


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## imagineero (May 12, 2015)

I see.... so you're not a climber at all, you walk up stairs. That must be great for your butt. Maybe that's why your sphincter is so tight. Try some yoga and a relaxing herbal tea and get back to us.


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## madhatte (May 12, 2015)

^ What we have here is the "Zing Of The Day"!


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## Whitespider (May 12, 2015)

imagineero said:


> *I see.... so you're not a climber at all, you walk up stairs.*


Seriously?? The communications towers where you live have stairs??
Heck man, most of ours don't even have ladders.

I climbed trees as a kid... now I'm all grown up... I climb steel.


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## Gologit (May 12, 2015)

madhatte said:


> ^ What we have here is the "Zing Of The Day"!


 Yes indeed.


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## treeslayer2003 (May 12, 2015)

Whitespider said:


> Seriously?? The communications towers where you live have stairs??
> Heck man, most of ours don't even have ladders.
> 
> I climbed trees as a kid... now I'm all grown up... I climb steel.
> ...


i grew up with a guy does that........or he did, he fell and got banged up good, was tied in but still got some broke ribs. i thought he was nuts for doing it but he made good money.

what kinda chain can i use on them things?


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## northmanlogging (May 12, 2015)

carbide...

the mill will reject them for metal content though so its not worth it


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## treeslayer2003 (May 12, 2015)

scrap yard pays cash lol maybe we should wait till price goes up.


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## northmanlogging (May 13, 2015)

it's gonna be noisy!

Some of them have guy wires to work around, make a Hel of a Siz though, couple guy lines left on one side, should swing like no other...

Maybe we can be ambitious and take one of them old growth wind mill beasties, I hear they're like 16' dbh and 200' tall

hard to get a choker to stick to em though...


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## Whitespider (May 13, 2015)

treeslayer2003 said:


> *scrap yard pays cash lol maybe we should wait till price goes up.*





northmanlogging said:


> *Some of them have guy wires to work around, make a Hel of a Siz though, couple guy lines left on one side, should swing like no other...*



Things get to be a bit excitin' when guy wires break or get screwed up.
Usually happens when someone runs into the wires with a tractor... stretches 'em and/or pulls the guy anchor loose.
I've witnessed two of 'em come down while we were trying to save 'em.
Lot's of steel for the scrap yard when that happens.


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## olyman (May 17, 2015)

imagineero said:


> That's a pretty good trick climbing well over the height of the trees and all. Once you get past the top of the tree do you just fill yourself up with hot air and keep on rising?


 maybe you ought to come here,,and follow in his footsteps............


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## olyman (May 17, 2015)

Gypo Logger said:


> Maybe Bob the Bull Bucker would like to show us how its done.
> Jack London was also a great novelist.


 don't worry,,he WONT respond to you,,a REAL logger...


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## olyman (May 17, 2015)

Gologit said:


> Yes indeed.


 do bring your tude,,and keep up with spidey........nuwahhahahaaaaa


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## the GOAT (May 23, 2015)

What kind of saw was he using???


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## BeatCJ (May 23, 2015)

Whitespider said:


> Things get to be a bit excitin' when guy wires break or get screwed up.
> Usually happens when someone runs into the wires with a tractor... stretches 'em and/or pulls the guy anchor loose.
> I've witnessed two of 'em come down while we were trying to save 'em.


Just curious, how would you save them? Is it a situation where you can catch the end of a guy wire and get it tensioned again? I can't fathom sending someone up a tower that's nearing failure.


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## Whitespider (May 26, 2015)

BeatCJ said:


> *Is it a situation where you can catch the end of a guy wire and get it tensioned again?*


Yes... no one goes up a tower with broken or damaged guy wires... no one I know anyway.
If the tower is leaning hard... all it takes is the right gust of wind... or the remaining guy wire(s) to break from the strain.
Saving one is sort of a scramble... work fast, but watch your azz...

The common situation is the wires are hit with a vehicle, such as a tractor, close to the guy anchor. The wire stretches or breaks at the impact point, or the anchor is bent, pulled loose, or some such. Stretched wires can be re tensioned. In the case of a broken wire a length is spliced on and reattached to the anchor. If the anchor is damaged beyond repair a temporary one is put in place and the wires are moved to it (one at a time) by splicing on, attaching to the temporary anchor before detaching from the damaged one. Once the new permanent anchor is installed the wires are moved to it.

Only after all the wires are connected and tensioned (and the tower is standing straight/plumb) does anyone go up. At that point the wires can be replaced one at a time if warranted... the new wire is put in place and tensioned before the old one is disconnected.
*


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## olyman (May 26, 2015)

bitzer said:


> Dammit now I gotta check my behavior?
> 
> 
> 
> Whitespider- you sir are what we call a cull. Too hot in Iowa to log. Thats funny. I spose it gets too cold there too.


 WE??? you speak for the WHOLE forum???


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## olyman (May 26, 2015)

Gologit said:


> We have some new moderators. They're tangled and stumbling in the robes of their Order.


 one thing about it,,they could do everything wrong,,,and still be way better than you ever were,,with your condescending attitude,,and treatment of people on here the same...


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## olyman (May 26, 2015)

As an ordained minister, I think all y'all should take it to Politics and Religion.
QUOTE]
and you had to state this,why?? ordained with what religious order??


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## the GOAT (May 26, 2015)

Wow, and I thought all the trolls hung out in the firewood forum.


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## Whitespider (May 26, 2015)

Gologit said:


> *Can somebody please translate this gibberish for me? No hurry.*


Translation ain't needed...
*


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## BeatCJ (May 27, 2015)

Whitespider said:


> The common situation is the wires are hit with a vehicle, such as a tractor, close to the guy anchor.
> *



I've seen it done on power poles, but that's a significantly lower risk. I've had messenger lines come loose from my grip, but that's nowhere near the level of excitement, and had an 80' antenna tower pop a guy and come down, even that's a minimal impact. Can't imagine a big one coming down.


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## olyman (May 28, 2015)

BeatCJ said:


> I've seen it done on power poles, but that's a significantly lower risk. I've had messenger lines come loose from my grip, but that's nowhere near the level of excitement, and had an 80' antenna tower pop a guy and come down, even that's a minimal impact. Can't imagine a big one coming down.


 and spidey SOMEWHAT downplays the danger.......


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## BeatCJ (May 28, 2015)

olyman said:


> and spidey SOMEWHAT downplays the danger.......


As I would expect. I downplay the risks on my job, too. I suspect it means he is good at what he does. Calculating risk accurately is part of the reason I am well paid.


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## Marshy (May 28, 2015)

slowp said:


> Where are them wonnerful new mods?
> View attachment 427114


We are hear shaking our heads. Same old crap day in and day out. I swear if we locked them in a room together for ten minutes they would either tear each other apart or procreate. I think there's a 50:50 chance for either.
I'm just not sure what to do at this phase. You drop a hint and it lasts a day or two, if we're luck it last a week/week and a half. 
What's fair punishment this kind of misbehavior, @olyman, @Gologit, @slowp? Your all in the same boat, care to choose the waterfall or rapids?


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## Whitespider (May 28, 2015)

BeatCJ said:


> *Calculating risk accurately is part of the reason I am well paid.*


And not in a wheel chair... or worse, a coffin.
*


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## the GOAT (May 28, 2015)

Marshy said:


> We are hear shaking our heads. Same old crap day in and day out. I swear if we locked them in a room together for ten minutes they would either tear each other apart or procreate. I think there's a 50:50 chance for either.
> I'm just not sure what to do at this phase. You drop a hint and it lasts a day or two, if we're luck it last a week/week and a half.
> What's fair punishment this kind of misbehavior, @olyman, @Gologit, @slowp? Your all in the same boat, care to choose the waterfall or rapids?


Force Ignore

https://xenforo.com/community/threads/force-ignore-by-waindigo.51938/

Your welcome


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## Marshy (May 28, 2015)

the GOAT said:


> Force Ignore
> 
> https://xenforo.com/community/threads/force-ignore-by-waindigo.51938/
> 
> Your welcome


Well that's my point though. We have tools to ignore each other but they choose to fight like school children. That's why I said there a 50:50 chance they would procreate if locked in a room together.


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## the GOAT (May 28, 2015)

With force ignore they won't even know they are ignoring each other... For a while at least. Should be good for a laugh or two.


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## Marshy (May 28, 2015)

Gologit said:


> I wouldn't count on that. The thought of procreating with Oly kinda makes my skin crawl.
> Also, if you you have a problem with me personally there are tools at your disposal to take care of the situation. You know this, I know this.
> Use them or don't...I really don't care one way or the other. This is a good forum but I can live without it.
> But get off my back, okay? Stop with the lectures and the veiled threats. They're juvenile and definitely not necessary. I don't need the likes of you to lecture me on how to conduct myself.


You guys take all this stuff too seriously. I made the comment to give you a chance to cool off and walk away for a while, not to make personal attacks. I don't seek opportunities to remove people's rights on the forum. Why can't you just take the hint and go socialize in another area for a while. You seem to have no regard for your comments or the dismay you cause to the forum when bickering so maybe you do need some time away.
The irony of your no whining symbol makes good comedy.


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## HuskStihl (May 28, 2015)

Gologit said:


> "look at me I cut down a whole tree all by myself" section.


OMG!!! What I wouldn't give to have known about this earlier! I can finally find a place where I fit in!
Bob, as a gift to the other chainsaw forum, you should get urself banned. It would be like Christmas in May for my pathetic riff-raff buddies


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## KiwiBro (May 28, 2015)

Forum moderation is a hiding for noth'n kinda job. Most often filled by either power-tripping tossers so insecure in their intellect they wield the ban stick with about as much precision and objectivity as a drunk, pathological village idiot swinging at a piñata , or very well-meaning people who eventually get burnt out on all the grief and angst and lose all faith in mankind, and often found in a foetal position in a safe corner of a dark room.


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## KiwiBro (May 29, 2015)

Christmas Party

December 1...To All Employees

I'm happy to inform you that the company Christmas Party will be held
on December 23rd at Luigi's Open Pit Barbecue. There will be lots of
spiked eggnog and a small band will play traditional carols...feel free
to sing-along. And don't be surprised if our CEO shows up dressed as
Santa Claus to light the Christmas tree.

Exchanging gifts among employees can be done at this time. Please
remember to keep gifts to the agreed $10 limit.

Merry Christmas to you and yours,

Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director

------------------------------------------------------------------------

December 2...To All Employees

In no way was yesterday's memo intended to exclude our Jewish
employees. We recognize that Hanukkah is an important holiday and
often coincides with Christmas (although not this year). However, from
now on we're calling this party our Holiday Party. The same policy also
applies to employees who are celebrating Kwanzaa at this time. There
will be no tree or Christmas carols sung.

Happy holidays to you and yours.

Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director

------------------------------------------------------------------------

December 3...To All Employees

Regarding the anonymous note I received from a member of Alcoholics
Anonymous requesting a non-drinking table, I'm happy to accommodate
your request but please remember that if I put a sign on the table that
reads "AA Only" you won't be anonymous any more.

In addition, we'll no longer be having a gift exchange because union
members feel that $10 is too much money.

Patti Lewis, Human Resources Director

------------------------------------------------------------------------

December 7...To All Employees

I have arranged for members of Overeaters Anonymous to sit farthest
away from the dessert table and for pregnant members to sit closest to
the restrooms. Gays are allowed to sit with each other. Lesbians do not
have to sit with gays; each group will have its own table. And, yes,
there will be a flower arrangement for the gay men's table.

Happy now?

Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director

------------------------------------------------------------------------

December 9...To All Employees

People! People! Nothing sinister was intended by wanting our CEO to
play Santa Claus. Even if the anagram for "Santa" does happen to be
"Satan." There is no evil connation to our own little "man in a red
suit."

Patti Lewis, Human Resources Director

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December 10...To All Employees

Vegetarians! I've had it with you people. We're holding this party at
Luigi's Open Pit Barbecue whether you like it or not. You can just sit
at the table farthest from the "Grill of Death" as you call it, and
you'll get salad bar only including hydroponics tomatoes. Tomatoes have
feelings too, you know. They scream when you slice them. I can hear
them now. I hope you have a rotten holiday. Drive drunk and die, you
hear me?

The ***** from Hell

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December 14...To All Employees

I'm sure I speak for all of us in wishing Patty Lewis a speedy recovery
from her stress-related illness. I'll continue to forward your cards to
her at the sanitarium. In the meantime management has decided to cancel
the Holiday Party and give everyone the afternoon of the 23rd off with
full pay.

Terri Bishop, Acting Human Resources Director


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## Marshy (May 29, 2015)




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## svk (May 29, 2015)

A few of you just don't get it.

LOCKED


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