# good story...funny too



## yooper (Mar 17, 2009)

This is pretty funny. Actual letter from someone who farms, writes well, and 
> 
> tried this. 
> 
> 
> I had this idea that I was going to rope a deer, put it in a stall, feed it 
> 
> up on corn for a couple of weeks, then kill it and eat it. 
> 
> 
> The first step in this adventure was getting a deer. I figured that, since 
> 
> they congregate at my cattle feeder and do not seem to have much fear of me 
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> when we are there (a bold one will sometimes come right up and sniff at the 
> 
> bags of feed while I am in the back of the truck not 4 feet away), it should 
> 
> not be difficult to rope one, get up to it and toss a bag over its head (to 
> 
> calm it down) then hog tie it and transport it home. 
> 
> 
> I filled the cattle feeder then hid down at the end with my rope. The 
> 
> cattle, having seen the roping thing before, stayed well back. They were not 
> 
> having any of it. 
> 
> 
> After about 20 minutes, my deer showed up -- 3 of them. I picked out a 
> 
> likely looking one, stepped out from the end of the feeder, and threw my 
> 
> rope. The deer just stood there and stared at me. I wrapped the rope around 
> 
> my waist and twisted the end so I would have a good hold. The deer still 
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> just stood and stared at me, but you could tell it was mildly concerned 
> 
> about the whole rope situation. I took a step towards it, it took a 
> 
> step away. I put a little tension on the rope and then received an 
> 
> education. 
> 
> 
> The first thing that I learned is that, while a deer may just stand there 
> 
> look at you funny while you rope it; they are spurred to action when you 
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> start pulling on that rope. That deer EXPLODED.. 
> 
> 
> The second thing I learned is that pound for pound, a deer is a LOT stronger 
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> than a cow or a colt. A cow or a colt in that weight range I could fight 
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> down with a rope and with some dignity. 
> 
> 
> A deer-- no chance. That thing ran and bucked and twisted and pulled. There 
> 
> was no controlling it and certainly no getting close to it. As it jerked me 
> 
> off my feet and started dragging me across the ground, it occurred to me 
> 
> that having a deer on a rope was not nearly as good an idea as I had 
> 
> originally imagined. 
> 
> 
> The only up side is that they do not have as much stamina as many other 
> 
> animals. A brief 10 minutes later, it was tired and not nearly as quick to 
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> jerk me off my feet and drag me when I managed to get up. It took me a few 
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> minutes to realize this, since I was mostly blinded by the blood flowing out 
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> of the big gash in my head. At that point, I had lost my taste for corn-fed 
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> venison. I just wanted to get that devil creature off the end of that rope. 
> 
> 
> I figured if I just let it go with the rope hanging around its neck, it 
> 
> would likely die slow and painfully somewhere. At the time, there was no 
> 
> love at all between me and that deer. At that moment, I hated the thing, and 
> 
> I would venture a guess that the feeling was mutual. 
> 
> 
> Despite the gash in my head and the several large knots where I had cleverly 
> 
> arrested the deer's momentum by bracing my head against various large rocks 
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> as it dragged me across the ground, I could still think clearly enough to 
> 
> recognize that there was a small chance that I shared some tiny amount of 
> 
> responsibility for the situation we were in, so I didn't want the deer to 
> 
> have to suffer a slow death, so I managed to get it lined back up in 
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> between my truck and the feeder - a little trap I had set before hand...kind 
> 
> of like a squeeze chute. 
> 
> 
> I got it to back in there and I started moving up so I could get my rope 
> 
> back. 
> 
> 
> Did you know that deer bite? They do! I never in a million years would have 
> 
> thought that a deer would bite somebody, so I was very surprised when... I 
> 
> reached up there to grab that rope and the deer grabbed hold of my wrist. 
> 
> Now, when a deer bites you, it is not like being bit by a horse where they 
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> just bite you and then let go. A deer bites you and shakes its head --almost 
> 
> like a pit bull. They bite HARD and it hurts. 
> 
> 
> The proper thing to do when a deer bites you is probably to freeze and draw 
> 
> back slowly. I tried screaming and shaking instead. My method was 
> 
> ineffective. It seems like the deer was biting and shaking for several 
> 
> minutes, but it was likely only several seconds. I, being smarter than a 
> 
> deer (though you may be questioning that claim by now), tricked it. 
> 
> 
> While I kept it busy tearing the tendons out of my right arm, I reached up 
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> with my left hand and pulled that rope loose. That was when I got my final 
> 
> lesson in deer behavior for the day. 
> 
> 
> Deer will strike at you with their front feet. They rear right up on their 
> 
> back feet and strike right about head and shoulder level, and their hooves 
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> are surprisingly sharp. I learned a long time ago that, when an animal 
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> --like a horse --strikes at you with their hooves and you can't get away 
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> easily, the best thing to do is try to make a loud noise and make an 
> 
> aggressive move towards the animal. This will usually cause them to back 
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> down a bit so you can escape. 
> 
> 
> This was not a horse. This was a deer, so obviously, such trickery would not 
> 
> work. In the course of a millisecond, I devised a different strategy. 
> 
> 
> I screamed like a woman and tried to turn and run. 
> 
> 
> The reason I had always been told NOT to try to turn and run from a horse 
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> that paws at you is that there is a good chance that it will hit you in the 
> 
> back of the head. Deer may not be so different from horses after all, 
> 
> besides being twice as strong and 3 times as evil, because the second I 
> 
> turned to run, it hit me right in the back of the head and knocked me down. 
> 
> 
> Now, when a deer paws at you and knocks you down, it does not immediately 
> 
> leave. I suspect it does not recognize that the danger has passed. What they 
> 
> do instead is paw your back and jump up and down on you while you are laying 
> 
> there crying like a little girl and covering your head. I finally managed to 
> 
> crawl under the truck and the deer went away.. 
> 
> 
> So now I know why when people go deer hunting they bring a rifle with a 
> 
> scope to sort of even the odds. 
> 
> 
> All these events are true, so help me God... 
> 
> 
> Sincerely, 
> 
> Chuck O'Hearn


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## Thechap (Mar 17, 2009)

Omg, rofl


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## stihl sawing (Mar 17, 2009)

LOL, Seen That one a while back, Still hilarious. I know a guy that jumped on a bucks back and cut his throat with a knife. He had just shot it with a bow and it wasn't hit good. He rode that thing down and cut it. I never argued with him about anything after that episode.lol


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## M.R. (Mar 18, 2009)

One year Pop got a nice 4x5 mulie in a pole thicket that was blind in one eye.  When he reached in to cut its throat, he was lucky that one side of the horns were wedged under a downed pole. It wrapped all four feet around his hand, the knife went a flying and left a thumb nail hanging. Left that hand and forearm with the most prettist colors you ever did see.

When we were cutting it up [which btw was a half gallon job in those days], came across and old bullet wound that had a pocket of hair in it. We got to a ribbing him pretty hard about sneaking up on this old bucks blindside and being so old that the mice were building nests in him, and I have yet to this day see anyone make a knife flash as fast as he was a doing to finish that buck up.


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