# You know you heat with wood when.....



## jhoff310 (Nov 10, 2011)

This should be fun
You know you heat with wood when.....

You remember when you bought your first saw but not your anniversary
You know all the specs of your saw but none from when your kids were born
You spend more time on here than you do splitting or hauling wood
The person you admire most is Andreas Stihl

Jeff


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## svon89 (Nov 10, 2011)

Every time you drive by a downed tree you calculate how much wood is in it.

You have a collection of pallets behind the shed.

Hmmm... Those were the two that came to mind right away.


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## tomsteve (Nov 10, 2011)

ummm...argue about how a cord of wood is measured?
:eek2:


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## hearnoevil (Nov 10, 2011)

When you know it's a rainy day out but once you walk into the shelter of the tree's its fine....... till you cut them all down 

When you are more proud of the stack of wood you have then the house you will heat with it.

When the roar of the saw and the concentration needed to keep from getting hurt makes all your problems go away.


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## xrayman (Nov 10, 2011)

you tell people that it isn't firewood until it's bucked, split, and stacked and they still don't understand.

you laugh @ people that want you to pay them to take down their 50 yr old walnut because it's worth so much with a clothes line bar grown into it.

your buddies call to borrow one of your saws, and you respond to them with a no like they want to steal your wife/girl friend. 

you have half a forest laying on your yard.


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## D&B Mack (Nov 10, 2011)

jhoff310 said:


> You know you heat with wood when.....



...your wood shed is nicer than your house.

...your garage can't fit a car, but can fit a splitter, 10 saws, a chain grinder and a cord of wood.

...you use the household oven as a kiln.

...you don't want to $250 additional a month on electric/oil/gas; but you will spend $30,000 on tools to get firewood to your home.

..."Quality Family Time" is you splitting and the wife and kids stacking.

...and finally...

...you smell like mix gas/bar oil when you go to bed and don't shower because you are going to smell the same tomorrow. :eek2:


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## JRepairsK70e (Nov 10, 2011)

you gladly part with 800 for a saw ,but hate paying 450 to fill the propane tank


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## DFK (Nov 10, 2011)

Guilty as charged.
Of all the above.

David


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## olyman (Nov 10, 2011)

JRepairsK70e said:


> you gladly part with 800 for a saw ,but hate paying 450 to fill the propane tank



true dat,,but the saw wil last MUCH longer,,than the propane in that tank!!!!!


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## Chud (Nov 10, 2011)

When it looks like you have hardwood mulch floor coverings.


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## olyman (Nov 10, 2011)

when what started as, 1 chainsaw,1 mall, pickup[already had], buy the woodstove, and ancillary items,,is what got you started on the long road to none recovery,,cause now you have a bad case of cad...after all,,you NEED 16 chainsaws to get that firewood for the house!!! i will say tho,,it has saved EXTREME amounts of money,in the natgas bill on the house!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! MUCH warmer also..


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## Whitespider (Nov 10, 2011)

*You know you heat with wood when…*

every pair of gloves you own are worn clean through the fingertips.
putting change in the vending machine includes sorting through saw chips.
your lover mentions she’s interested in some “_wood_” tonight and you take her outside to look at your piles.
you’ve replaced more than one rear back-glass in your pickup.
you’ve pulled wood splinters from some pretty strange places on your body.
you’re totally comfortable with telling another guy he has “_nice wood_.”
you know the specific species of every tree on your property… and your neighbors property. 
your three-year-old can name all the parts of a chain saw, yet still can’t properly pronounce “macaroni and cheese.”
16 to 20 inches is just average in your mind.
there’s a scrench in the glove box of every vehicle you own.
you named your dog Woody, your cat Sassafras… and there was a big argument when you wanted to name your daughter Magnolia.
having poison ivy rash is just a way of life.
you’ve bent the axle on more than one trailer.
getting your “_wood wet_” is something you actually try to avoid.
the terms *hard*wood and *soft*wood no longer make you think of an X-rated movie.


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## CrappieKeith (Nov 10, 2011)

Whitespider said:


> *You know you heat with wood when…*
> 
> every pair of gloves you own are worn clean through the fingertips.
> putting change in the vending machine includes sorting through saw chips.
> ...




Those belong on Letterman's TOP 10

...and the number on way you know you are a wood burner....
You'll wave at every home fuel delivery truck with that tell tale"you're my #1 fan wave"


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## Constrictor (Nov 10, 2011)

I know i heat with wood becaused i personally went out and bought a wood stove, installed it, got wood and use it daily.


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## Laird (Nov 10, 2011)

hearnoevil said:


> When the roar of the saw and the concentration needed to keep from getting hurt makes all your problems go away.



My favorite so far.


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## D&B Mack (Nov 10, 2011)

Whitespider said:


> *You know you heat with wood when…*
> 
> putting change in the vending machine includes sorting through saw chips.
> you’ve replaced more than one rear back-glass in your pickup.
> ...



You know you heat with wood when...

You read a list on the internet and laugh because someone else is living your life.


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## gwiley (Nov 10, 2011)

You know you heat with wood....

- When you go to an estate auction and go straight for the wood shed filled with firewood, not the table with the gun collection (me, 2 weeks ago).

- When your daydreams during meetings at work revolve around time this weekend splitting and sawing.

- When you choose you next vehicle based on how well suited it is for hauling wood without considering how the rest of the family will use it.

- When 80% of the items on your birthday/christmas gift list can be purchased at Bailey's


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## Steve NW WI (Nov 10, 2011)

-More fenceposts are holding up stacks of firewood than actual fence on your property
-Not only do you know what thermal mass is, but you have room for 8 cords of it in the basement, and consider it a "finished" basement when it's full!
-You have a waiting list of friends that need trees taken out
-You're the most popular guy for miles around when the power is off in January. (Make sure to tell em BYOB and food!)
-5 of the pages on AS are on your browser's "most visited" list, and you home page comes in at #4.
-A craiglist search for "chainsaw" also makes that list.

Be back later when I have some rep to hand out, there's a lot of good ones on this thread!


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## cnice_37 (Nov 10, 2011)

gwiley said:


> - When 80% of the items on your birthday/christmas gift list can be purchased at Bailey's



Try 100%, and Christmas is coming up!



D&B Mack said:


> ..."Quality Family Time" is you splitting and the wife and kids stacking.



Got the 2yr old on kindling duty, but can't get the wife to buy into "family time." 2yr old is getting good!



Whitespider said:


> putting change in the vending machine includes sorting through saw chips.



Gotta remember to flip the pockets out before laundry time - otherwise those chips are lifers.


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## avason (Nov 10, 2011)

How bout this:
Back kills you and you still enjoy doing it.

Ruptured disc and you regret not being able to run a saw.


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## Bob95065 (Nov 10, 2011)

Last wekeend I was at a frined's house and when he was looking at a tree in his yard he said, "I wonder what kind of tree that is?"
My reply: "The kind that burns."

I think I fit in with you guys.


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## Wife'nHubby (Nov 10, 2011)

... you learn the "alternate" meanings for the following:

"Got Lucky" = (Got some great future firewood.)

"Scored last night = (Same as above.)

"Nice looking stacks" = (Not speaking about a body part, rather c/s/s firewood stacked up nicely.)

"Soggy piles" = (Again, not a body part. Meaning "My c/s/s firewood is wet!")

"Scored some Cherry last night" = (Get you mind out of the gutter, guys! Means they picked up some Cherry wood.)

Shari


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## avalancher (Nov 10, 2011)

You know you heat with wood when.....

When your wife can find you anywhere in walmart simply by following the trail of wood chips.

When the shoe salesman refuses to allow you to try on a new pair of boots without putting on a pair of disposable socks because as he puts it, "if you dont buy them, the next guy may not like all those wood chips in his new boots."

When you walk into your local saw shop and ask for a plug, the man replies, "is it for your 372 or 357?"

Every pair of work pants you own has the left thigh wore out long before the rest of the pants from holding rounds on the splitter.

You can never get that dang tailgate up on the first swing without raking all the wood chips out first. Nine times out of ten this will always happen in a down pour after you forgot to unlock the wifes door first, usually resulting in an extended stay on the couch.With the dog.And no pillow.And with the only blanket not locked behind the bedroom door, your daughters Spongebob blankie.Dont ask me how I know.


You startle everyone at the breakfast table with a war whoop after reading in your local paper that Tractor Supply is building a new store in your town and spend the next ten minutes scraping mini wheats off the floor, the table legs, and your daughters back.Again, dont ask me how I know.

You pick your teeth after dinner with the sharp end of a chainsaw file, neatly carried around in your back pocket. Dont do this at the inlaws table. The results were disastrous.


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## avalancher (Nov 10, 2011)

Wife'nHubby said:


> ... you learn the "alternate" meanings for the following:
> 
> "Got Lucky" = (Got some great future firewood.)
> 
> ...



Shari, you never cease to amaze me. That is quite a post coming from a female, and I highly appreciate your sense of humor. Sure are a lot of gals that just would not think any of that is funny!

Everyone, hand out some rep to the gal!


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## Wife'nHubby (Nov 10, 2011)

avalancher said:


> Shari, you never cease to amaze me. That is quite a post coming from a female, and I highly appreciate your sense of humor. Sure are a lot of gals that just would not think any of that is funny!
> 
> Everyone, hand out some rep to the gal!




Hey, Av, don't make me blush now. :redface: I've just had to learn the language of woodburning - I find humor in some of the 'alternate' meanings! 

Shari


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## zogger (Nov 10, 2011)

*browser*



Steve NW WI said:


> -More fenceposts are holding up stacks of firewood than actual fence on your property
> -Not only do you know what thermal mass is, but you have room for 8 cords of it in the basement, and consider it a "finished" basement when it's full!
> -You have a waiting list of friends that need trees taken out
> -You're the most popular guy for miles around when the power is off in January. (Make sure to tell em BYOB and food!)
> ...



Two of my home page starting tabs are craigslist chainsaws and this site.
And boy I certainly scope out trees all the time out and about driving around. I freak out at all the uncut wood out there hanging around folks yards, downed branches, dead trees, etc.


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## avalancher (Nov 10, 2011)

Oh, I forgot one other.....this came up just last week in fact.


While at the dinner table, my daughter was explaining all the virtues of her new boyfriend, even ones I dont care a flip about. Yeah, you know, "oh, and he has really nice wavy brown hair, and blue eyes, and even has muscles on his eye lashes".
After rambling on and on and I began to run green bean races around my plate out of boredom,(I aint rude, but once she gets that dizzy look on her face I could recite the Gettyburg address in my fruit of the looms while dancing the Cha Cha with a shaved cat on the table and she wouldn't notice) and just as we narrowly missed a fatal crash as #2 left the pit area and traded paint with #6, she finished off with, "oh, and daddy, he likes to cut wood too!"

My wife turned to me after noticing my head come up and the number three green bean died in the back stretch of lap six and said, "Well, guess he is alright in your book then eh?"

Yeah, maybe. Depends if he has enough sense to run a Husky I guess.


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## pickupporter (Nov 10, 2011)

_While at the dinner table, my daughter was explaining all the virtues of her new boyfriend, even ones I dont care a flip about. Yeah, you know, "oh, and he has really nice wavy brown hair, and blue eyes, and even has muscles on his eye lashes".
After rambling on and on and I began to run green bean races around my plate out of boredom,(I aint rude, but once she gets that dizzy look on her face I could recite the Gettyburg address in my fruit of the looms while dancing the Cha Cha with a shaved cat on the table and she wouldn't notice) and just as we narrowly missed a fatal crash as #2 left the pit area and traded paint with #6, she finished off with, "oh, and daddy, he likes to cut wood too!"

My wife turned to me after noticing my head come up and the number three green bean died in the back stretch of lap six and said, "Well, guess he is alright in your book then eh?"

Yeah, maybe. Depends if he has enough sense to run a Husky I guess. _

... I'm on the floor lmao here at work! Best one yet!


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## ponyexpress976 (Nov 10, 2011)

You know you heat with wood when....your late to the siter in laws house and the wife volunteers to drive....the reason she says is "we're already late and we are NOT stopping to ask about all the downed trees from the Halloween snow storm".


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## ponyexpress976 (Nov 10, 2011)

Once you read a thread you look at everyone's signature for equipment additions to the Christmas wish list.


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## chopperfreak2k1 (Nov 10, 2011)

you know you heat with wood when,

you wake up in the morning and it's raining entirely too hard to go to work, so you load up the saws and such and go cutting all day cuz "hey i can just change clothes everytime i bring a load home!"


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## olyman (Nov 10, 2011)

ponyexpress976 said:


> You know you heat with wood when....your late to the siter in laws house and the wife volunteers to drive....the reason she says is "we're already late and we are NOT stopping to ask about all the downed trees from the Halloween snow storm".



Kinda hardcore,aint she?????????? :hmm3grin2orange::hmm3grin2orange::hmm3grin2orange:


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## ponyexpress976 (Nov 10, 2011)

olyman said:


> Kinda hardcore,aint she?????????? :hmm3grin2orange::hmm3grin2orange::hmm3grin2orange:



She let me stop on the way home.....


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## TermiteBuffet (Nov 10, 2011)

You know you heat with wood when
There's 3 inches of wood bark in your truck
There's chips in or on everything you own
There's bar oil tracks on the outside of your tailgate
You smell like smoke all the time


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## Eilrahc83 (Nov 10, 2011)

hearnoevil said:


> When the roar of the saw and the concentration needed to keep from getting hurt makes all your problems go away.



Couldn't have said it any better!


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## calcommon (Nov 10, 2011)

the first thing you say when you walk in the door, "you let the stove go out!!"


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## Mo. Jim (Nov 10, 2011)

Thanks for the humor guys I needed a good laugh this evening. I have been 400 mile from home and catch myself checking out the wood,then reality sets in. Bummer.


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## OH_Varmntr (Nov 10, 2011)

You know you heat with wood when people come over and say it smells like smoke in your house and you don't smell a thing. :msp_wink:

...when you get excited about the town wide garage sales and you drag your wife to every one in search of chainsaws/parts and SHE is the one who is complaining and wants to go home.


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## dave_dj1 (Nov 10, 2011)

*You Know you heat with wood when"*

when you know exactly which "windowstats" to open and how much to moderate indoor temps 
when you don't mind getting up early to stoke the stove while having a coffee
coming in from the cold and "thawing" your hands over the wood stove
drying your boots over the stove


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## chopperfreak2k1 (Nov 10, 2011)

when you get mad at the ol' lady cuz she beat you to stoking the fire


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## loadthestove (Nov 10, 2011)

your child is ten years when he realizes,,"get wood" is not his name


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## rottiman (Nov 10, 2011)

You get home light the fire in the stove and run outside to watch the smoke pour out of the chimney....................................


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## MNGuns (Nov 10, 2011)

rottiman said:


> You get home light the fire in the stove and run outside to watch the smoke pour out of the chimney....................................



Some how I got into the habit of doing this with the shop stove. It's an old Fisher copy, and I always watch the chimney for the first few minutes to see if it needs attention.


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## russhd1997 (Nov 10, 2011)

rottiman said:


> You get home light the fire in the stove and run outside to watch the smoke pour out of the chimney....................................



I like to watch the smoke coming out of the stack on my OWB. :msp_thumbsup:


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## xrayman (Nov 10, 2011)

You see fresh c/s/s green wood piled next to someones door and remember where it is and wonder how long it's going to be till they have a chimney fire. (on local fire dept too)

your 10 yr old and identify oak/locust and ash from a mile away.

you have more bar and chain oil than motor oil stocked up

all of you back pockets in your jeans have holes in them from saw wrenches and wedges


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## rottiman (Nov 10, 2011)

you scour the ground in the area you just split 5 cords worth of wood, picking up all the rejects and putting them in a seperate pile to burn. NOTHING goes to waste..........................


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## chopperfreak2k1 (Nov 10, 2011)

rottiman said:


> you scour the ground in the area you just split 5 cords worth of wood, picking up all the rejects and putting them in a seperate pile to burn. NOTHING goes to waste..........................



ok then i got one for you,

you know you heat with wood when,

you shovel up all the crap around the splitter into a metal garbage can and spend days feeding it into the furnace cuz hey, NOTHING goes to waste!

you argue with your buddy about him leaving 3" and less diameter stuff in the woods cuz hey, NOTHING goes to waste!


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## unclemoustache (Nov 10, 2011)

You've ever woken up in the middle of the night wondering if you:
- drained the fuel out of your saw
- went more than __ weeks without getting a fresh load of fuel in your fuel can
- forgot to order more files from Baileys
- should check Craigslist one more time to look for that perfect splitter/saw/skid steer/trailer/truck before someone else gets it before you
- should get her the Christmas gift she asked for, or the saw that she needs you to use to heat her house
- should borrow money from her to get her some nice earrings for Christmas, and not tell her about the new saw you just bought for yourse---....(uh) for her.

You've had in-depth conversations about what to do with wood ashes.

You're sorely tempted to grow a moustache.

Flannel is a large part of your wardrobe.

You have stock in Tecnu, Tick-b-gone, chapstick, Orange hand cleaner, and Gatorade.

Your friends compliment you on your manly wood-cutting moustache.

You actually hope a tornado or violent storm will hit your town every once in a while.

You've made fun of Uncle Moustache while secretly envying his fabulous moustache.

You wake up early after such a storm hits, and drive through town looking to 'help' those with downed trees.

You slip the pastor a $20 to get him to put into the wedding vows, "and help him carry in firewood."

You've ever refused to talk to your neighbor for a week because he managed to scrounge some hedge before you could get to it.

You've ever laughed at a Craigslist ad of some guy giving away free trees - you fell them and remove all brush, and you'd better have insurance.

You know the exact location of the closest 20 dead trees to your home

Avalancher's story about the yuppy friend from the big city who becomes a firewooder brings a tear to your eye.

You're a rep-ho on AS.

When given the option to go to bed with your beautiful wife or continue sitting in front of the stove while browsing through AS on your laptop, you choose the latter.

You have an age chart for your kids:
Age 1-2 - stay out of the way of those bringing in the firewood
Age 3-4 - open the door for those bringing in firewood
Age 5-6 - cut kindling, neatly stick it in 5 gal. buckets
Age 6-10 - bring in firewood
Age 7-18 - expected to load the stove when it gets low
Age 8-12 - drive the (lawn) tractor that pulls the firewood out of the woods
Age 9-14 - operate the lever on the splitter
Age 10-18 - owns his own axe, and is expected to split a few rounds each day
Age 11-18 - helps you with tree trimming/removals - pulling on ropes, tying/untying loads on the trailer, etc.
Age 12-18 - able to start the fire in the stove without smoking up the house
Age 13-14 - able to operate your smaller saws with supervision
Age 15-16 - able to operate all your saws without supervision
Age 16-18 - able to do all the firewood work while you sit in front of the stove, wondering if you're going to fall asleep there again or if you should go to bed with your beautiful wife.


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## tr33thri11s (Nov 10, 2011)

*food for thought....*

While at the restaraunte you stack mini cords with the tooth picks.


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## PEKS (Nov 10, 2011)

You ask your son and his football friend's to help load up the fresh cut hard maple on your truck before they go out on their championship victory gig.. (true story tonight..)
Plus.. almost every other one listed on this post..


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## GM_DaddyMac (Nov 10, 2011)

When you drive by a vacant lot wondering who owns the property and if you can get permission to clean up the standing dead and dead fall.


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## Iron Head (Nov 10, 2011)

You know you heat with wood when you want to kill a firewood thief.:msp_angry:


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## old cookie (Nov 11, 2011)

when it is 10 degrees outside and you have windows open


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## Steve2910 (Nov 11, 2011)

Whitespider said:


> *You know you heat with wood when…*
> 
> every pair of gloves you own are worn clean through the fingertips.
> putting change in the vending machine includes sorting through saw chips.
> ...



You've put some thought into this response & pretty much nailed it!


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## chopperfreak2k1 (Nov 11, 2011)

unclemoustache said:


> You've ever woken up in the middle of the night wondering if you:
> - drained the fuel out of your saw
> - went more than __ weeks without getting a fresh load of fuel in your fuel can
> - forgot to order more files from Baileys
> ...



somebody rep this man for me!! oops i guess i gave it away, i am a rep ho! and while i'm admitting things, i do envy your fabulous mustache

fantastic post brother, this is being nominated for "post of the year"


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## Steve NW WI (Nov 11, 2011)

Only got part way through before running out of rep - lotsa good stuff here, keep em coming, I'll have more rep tomorrow night!



jhoff310 said:


> You know you heat with wood when.....
> 
> You remember when you bought your first saw but not your anniversary
> You spend more time on here than you do splitting or hauling wood
> ...



Yup



hearnoevil said:


> When you are more proud of the stack of wood you have then the house you will heat with it.



Yup



Whitespider said:


> [*]putting change in the vending machine includes sorting through saw chips.
> [*]you’ve replaced more than one rear back-glass in your pickup.
> [*]you’ve pulled wood splinters from some pretty strange places on your body.
> [*]you’re totally comfortable with telling another guy he has “_nice wood_.”
> ...



Yup



gwiley said:


> When your daydreams during meetings at work revolve around time this weekend splitting and sawing.
> 
> - When you choose you next vehicle based on how well suited it is for hauling wood without considering how the rest of the family will use it.
> 
> - When 80% of the items on your birthday/christmas gift list can be purchased at Bailey's





Wife'nHubby said:


> ... you learn the "alternate" meanings for the following:
> 
> "Got Lucky" = (Got some great future firewood.)
> 
> ...



Yup



avalancher said:


> You can never get that dang tailgate up on the first swing without raking all the wood chips out first. Nine times out of ten this will always happen in a down pour after you forgot to unlock the wifes door first, usually resulting in an extended stay on the couch.With the dog.And no pillow.And with the only blanket not locked behind the bedroom door, your daughters Spongebob blankie.Dont ask me how I know.



Tailgate? Wazzat? Oh, the piece that fell victim to a tree backing out of the woods. That tree will not bother anyone else now...



ponyexpress976 said:


> Once you read a thread you look at everyone's signature for equipment additions to the Christmas wish list.



Great idea!



TermiteBuffet said:


> You know you heat with wood when
> There's 3 inches of wood bark in your truck
> There's chips in or on everything you own
> There's bar oil tracks on the outside of your tailgate
> You smell like smoke all the time



Tailgate? See above. Bar oil tracks are on the passenger side floor mat.



dave_dj1 said:


> when you know exactly which "windowstats" to open and how much to moderate indoor temps
> when you don't mind getting up early to stoke the stove while having a coffee
> coming in from the cold and "thawing" your hands over the wood stove
> drying your boots over the stove



Guilty!


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## whatscooking (Nov 11, 2011)

You watch the weatherman at night and hope it gets colder than they say, on a day still warm enough to get a bike ride in with the wife you take off looking for new saw shops instead of new places to eat, you build a new place to store wood and fill that up too and still feel like a little more wont hurt, when you drive by someone burning wood and you try to guess what type of wood that is by the smoke smell, you call up someone you worked with a few years ago and most of the talk is about compairing how the both of you cut-split-store and burn wood= might get some good pointers !


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## ccarpen4753 (Nov 11, 2011)

*I cant stop!*

I cant stop checking this thread!!! These are so true, and so hilarious!!! Im in tears each time i check it. Keep them coming. 

Oh my 3yo daughter is my cheerleader when i split wood. "Hit it again daddy, you can do it!"


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## hoosier daddy (Nov 11, 2011)

*winner winner chicken dinner!!!*



unclemoustache said:


> You actually hope a tornado or violent storm will hit your town every once in a while.
> 
> 
> You wake up early after such a storm hits, and drive through town looking to 'help' those with downed trees.
> ...


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## ccarpen4753 (Nov 11, 2011)

You quote something from this site at LEAST once a day.


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## confused8122 (Nov 11, 2011)

New here, love everything so far, but here's my take. 
You know you heat with wood when... 
When your first child is born, you buy a new saw as a way to celebrate. 
When said daughter is two, she says, daddy, I'm cold, go check the fire. 
At Christmas when wife's whole family is in your house and its 80+ in the house, you get angry because windows are open. Thinking to yourself, i worked hard for that heat, and just imagine its summer. 
When above mentioned daughter is four, and you take delivery of a new owb, her biggest concern is, but it's outside, how are we going to stay warm? 
When younger daughter, 1 1/2 would rather ride in the old loud woods truck than anything else. 
When 1 1/2 is most concerned about getting all the splitter scrap and bark onto the wood stack.


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## greendohn (Nov 11, 2011)

you know you heat with wood...when the white trash neighbor who harbors/encourages ferral cats, commonly has raccoon,possums and the occasional skunk "problems". (could it be the food scraps she throws out"fer the KITTENS").. when that neighbor complains the laundry she has left out on the clothes line for weeks, smells like smoke from my stove,,,,and I respond, with derision, " sounds like ya' need a job and a clothes dryer"..."yer clothes line aint workin' fer ya"...


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## ponyexpress976 (Nov 11, 2011)

greendohn said:


> you know you heat with wood...when the white trash neighbor who harbors/encourages ferral cats, commonly has raccoon,possums and the occasional skunk "problems". (could it be the food scraps she throws out"fer the KITTENS").. when that neighbor complains the laundry she has left out on the clothes line for weeks, smells like smoke from my stove,,,,and I respond, with derision, " sounds like ya' need a job and a clothes dryer"..."yer clothes line aint workin' fer ya"...



that's to funy.


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## Garmins dad (Nov 11, 2011)

You know you burn wood for heat when your father calls ya and says " I think its standing dead and you should see how big this tree is" I took a drive 220 miles round trip to check out fire wood situation and for a pre hunting trip.. That tree is HUGE.. for these parts.  Dad figures we can cut in down in the spring once the snow is gone. It should be two cords.. 

You know your a wood guy when.. Wife is looking for a new to her suv and says "It will fit all your fire wood collecting tools in the back and pull a trailer with a cord of wood" Before she even tells me what she is looking at and asks me to go look at it for her.


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## CrappieKeith (Nov 11, 2011)

Everyone that knows you thinks you use bar oil for after shave lotion. 

You get a kick out of visitors #####ing about how warm your house is.


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## beerman6 (Nov 11, 2011)

...you have no hair on your hands.


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## avalancher (Nov 11, 2011)

CrappieKeith said:


> Everyone that knows you thinks you use bar oil for after shave lotion



Been doing that for years ever since my old aunty Peg came visiting one sunday afternoon and did her usual, "oh aint you cute, all dressed up like a lumber jack.And even a cute little hat too!Come here hun, let ole aunt peg give you some sugar"

I got some sugar all right. And she spent the next fifteen minutes clawing at her tongue trying to get the taste to go away. Kinda reminded me of my little girl when she was little.Anytime she ate something new she found she didnt like, she would just rake it right back out and heave it across the table.

Ole gal settles for a pat on the back now, but more than once I have caught her checking her hands out afterwards just to make sure!


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## Wife'nHubby (Nov 11, 2011)

Son & family stopped over for a bit last weekend. I was out on the driveway, splitting wood with the splitter.

Son waved to me & smiled.

I hollered back over the engine sound of the splitter: "I'm just finishing up some housework here. Be with you in a few minutes." 

Shari


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## Gavman (Nov 11, 2011)

When you have 3500 pounds of craigslist scored roadside wood in your truck and just as you are about to leave the scene you scan craigslist again on the iphone to see if theres more available....


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## wdchuck (Nov 11, 2011)

You'll go to extremes for some seasoned wood for this year: 


.
Lp guy asked what I'd give for his wood. So I stopped in yesterday but needed another look when it wasn't so wet.
Today I stopped in with a tape measure and determined the length was beyond my capacity as was the girth but I still made a deal with him and will let him know how big a load I could take.
I need to give advanced notice so he can unlock the gate at the rear entrance.


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## Chud (Nov 11, 2011)

You dont have to yell at the wife or kids for having the door open too long.


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## avalancher (Nov 11, 2011)

And the number one indication that you heat with wood?


























Your still here reading this thread, now into its fifth page!









yeah, I know. I am as bad as you are. Im still here too.


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## wdchuck (Nov 11, 2011)

Yes, but you are an enabler by selling the stuff, just keep folks hooked on it and coming back for more and enticing newbies with your tales of adventure in this splinter filled ongoing search for warmth and vitality.


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## jhoff310 (Nov 11, 2011)

you clean the ashes out of the stove more often than you clean out the inside of your truck
You take better care of your saws than you do your dog
your sweet little 85 year old neighbor lady has nicknamed you paul bunyan.. TRUE
You know who on what tree crew to shake a case of beer in front of to get them to drop off a load of wood at your house for free ...TRUE
You can tear down your saw and put it back together faster than any Marine can do to his gun

Your rigntone on your cell phone is a running chainsaw...available on stihl's website

Jeff


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## Woodomaker (Nov 11, 2011)

This is good stuff:
I know I heat with wood because I take pain medication at night to await the aches that are coming.
I load my OWB, and a splinter grabs my new glove which goes for a oneway ride.
I clog the shower drain with wood chips.
My disposable foam earplugs are everywhere.
I have more containers of 2 stroke oil than paint cans and motor oil combined.


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## wdchuck (Nov 11, 2011)

beerman6 said:


> ...you have no hair on your hands.



Eyebrows dude.


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## xrayman (Nov 11, 2011)

It use to take 3 hrs to mow your lawn. Now it's done in half the time due to all the wood piles.
Your wood shed is more organized than a bookcase, between different woods and shoulder season wood and cold weather wood.
A bad storm blows through and your phones is ringing more than it ever has before.


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## unclemoustache (Nov 11, 2011)

beerman6 said:


> ...you have no hair on your hands.




I assume you mean the back of your hands? I understand Woodbooga has fairly hairy palms, although I don't know why. :msp_biggrin::msp_biggrin:


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## Fifelaker (Nov 11, 2011)

Open the door on my owb you wont have hair above your waist. Don't ask me how I found this little bit of info out.:bang:


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## ccarpen4753 (Nov 11, 2011)

You pull splinters out big enough to use as toothpicks,

Thats courtesy of my BIL whos a logger


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## Richard_ (Nov 12, 2011)

you know you heat with wood when....

you smile and wave to the gas meter reader


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## russhd1997 (Nov 12, 2011)

Richard_ said:


> you know you heat with wood when....
> 
> you smile and wave to the gas meter reader



That's also true for the oil man delivering oil at the neighbors while you're admiring your stacks of wood and watching the smoke from your stove or OWB.


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## dhopkins55 (Nov 12, 2011)

You know you heat with wood when...........

:hmm3grin2orange: You'd rather ride your tractor to stack the logs for cutting (followed by playing with the Stihl,) than ride and play with mama! (and mama is still a great looking woman!! :biggrin :hmm3grin2orange:


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## beerman6 (Nov 12, 2011)

unclemoustache said:


> I assume you mean the back of your hands? I understand Woodbooga has fairly hairy palms, although I don't know why. :msp_biggrin::msp_biggrin:


:msp_w00t:


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## Chud (Nov 12, 2011)

You pity the neighbors that have heat pumps.


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## saxman (Nov 12, 2011)

dhopkins55 said:


> You know you heat with wood when...........
> 
> :hmm3grin2orange: You'd rather ride your tractor to stack the logs for cutting (followed by playing with the Stihl,) than ride and play with mama! (and mama is still a great looking woman!! :biggrin :hmm3grin2orange:



Now let's not get carried away with the spirit of this thread! I was ok with all of the comments up to this point. :msp_smile:


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## flyboy553 (Nov 12, 2011)

When the smell of smoke, bacon and eggs and coffee takes you back in time to Grandma and Grampa's home, thinking to yourself how nothing, and I mean nothing, makes a house smell like a home more than this!


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## 1project2many (Nov 12, 2011)

... you get "Woodshed Envy."

... you don't give good directions to your house anymore because your landmarks are all trees and downed wood you'd like to cut up.

... You drive by the left over butt of a 200 year old Sugar Maple in someone's front yard and before the house is out of site you've already worked out how to get it cut up and loaded by yourself without using the tractor. 

... you convince your co-workers to heat with wood so you will have something interesting to talk about during the day.

... the day before your scheduled back surgery you go around the property and cut up a bunch of standing dead then load it in the pickup. The wife's going to need some wood to burn while you're recovering.

... your surgeon looks horrified when you report that you're doing so well you're back out cutting and using the maul just a month after the surgery. ( That was 5 years ago. I eventually conceded and built a splitter. )

... you'll drive 3 hrs to spend a day cutting and splitting wood for someone else, because yours is finished and you miss the work.

... you feel like you're getting "the look" whenever your wife complains to her friends that you dented her truck the day you used it to get wood. But you laugh when you tell your buddies the same story. And you still haven't fixed the dent because it gives you pride to know the truck did some real work in it's life.

.. you were horrified to find your wife secretly using "fire starter" matches from Wally World. And while you may have come to accept that she can't start a fire with one match, you're surely not going to leave those "cheat sticks" out where they can be seen by friends or family.

... your 2 yr old builds "chainsaws" out of plastic blocks then "cuts down" and "stacks" the cardboard tube "trees" he made at daycare. 

... you take the family out picking apples at the local orchard and the wife asks if apple is good burning wood while the 2yr old keeps trying to drag dead branches to the truck to bring home.

... you've wondered why it's almost impossible to find good work gloves that fit a 2 yr old's hands. For some reason all you can find are toys.

... your wife wants to spend some quality time with you so she just comes out and starts running the splitter. And you've put a muffler on the splitter so it's quiet enough that she'll stay.

... you realize it's less painful to pull your own teeth than to see the AS Site "server is busy" message in the middle of this thread.


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## dhopkins55 (Nov 12, 2011)

saxman said:


> Now let's not get carried away with the spirit of this thread! I was ok with all of the comments up to this point. :msp_smile:



Sorry. *hiding face shamefully*


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## Ohioguychris (Nov 12, 2011)

You throw bacon soaked paper towels into the fireplace to let the kids outside playing know its time to eat breakfast.

You know that DCS7900 and PS7900 are just different colors

You know that 372 is bigger than 455 and 046/460 are the same thing


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## Bob95065 (Nov 12, 2011)

You would rather hear fingernails on a chalkboard than your wife running the furnace

I just hate that sound.


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## Ironworker (Nov 13, 2011)

You know you heat with wood when.....
Stuffing wood in a firebox has 2 meanings.


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## ponyexpress976 (Nov 13, 2011)

*You know you heat with wood when*

You know you heat with wood when...while on vacation out of state with no cutting/hauling/splitting ability/tools you still watch for scrounging opportunities just so you remain sharp.


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## PEKS (Nov 13, 2011)

ponyexpress976 said:


> You know you heat with wood when...while on vacation out of state with no cutting/hauling/splitting ability/tools you still watch for scrounging opportunities just so you remain sharp.



and when..
You never go on vacation cause the fire needs to be fed..


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## BrokenToys (Nov 13, 2011)

The Sunday Hurricane Irene blew through here and the sun was just starting to peek out ( mind you; it was still raining and windy! ) and my wife was wondering why the trailer wasn't hooked up and the saws weren't in the truck yet.
Than my friend called and wondered where I was :help: ...
Good/Bad part was running his MS880 for a half hour :help: ...


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## unclemoustache (Nov 13, 2011)

1project2many said:


> ... you take the family out picking apples at the local orchard and the wife asks if apple is good burning wood while the 2yr old keeps trying to drag dead branches to the truck to bring home.
> 
> ... you've wondered why it's almost impossible to find good work gloves that fit a 2 yr old's hands. For some reason all you can find are toys..





Shiptons Big R has them!

Kid rep for ya!


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## woodguy105 (Nov 13, 2011)

You know you heat with wood when...driving down the road there's a hot chick riding a bike on the left side of the road and a big pile of pallets out by the road on the right and you're eye balling the pallets.


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## an?qus (Nov 13, 2011)

*You know you heat with wood when....*

...you have to put on a sweater cuz it's a little chilly in here, and you find out the pilot's been out on the gas furnace for the past month!


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## Richard_ (Nov 13, 2011)

You know you heat with wood when....

when , woke up with wood is more than a ZZ Top song


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## olyman (Nov 14, 2011)

PEKS said:


> and when..
> You never go on vacation cause the fire needs to be fed..



aint that the truth!!!..winter,,projects come to a near stop,,and could get away,but like you said,furnace needs to be fed!! and i REFUSE, to support the gas co, of any flavor!!!


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## J1m (Nov 14, 2011)

...When the oil furnace kicks on for a minute and you and your wife look at each other in a state of panic - then frantically one of you runs to the OWB to check it and the other runs to the basement to check the water temps! True story, happened this weekend.


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## D&B Mack (Nov 14, 2011)

... you only keep a subscription to the local newspaper because you need something to start the fire with.


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## avalancher (Nov 14, 2011)

You know you heat with with wood when..


The doc gives you a new medication, and warns about certain "side effects" that makes the wife smile with a goofy grin, commenting on, "well, I reckon we can handle that side effect okay..."


And you wake up the next morning on the couch hugging three pieces of white oak.





That was the last time I took that friggin meds, and didnt really care that it made the headaches go away!


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## Ohioguychris (Nov 14, 2011)

when you go outside to "smell the smoke" to verify what kind of wood you are burning...:crazy1:


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## Somesawguy (Nov 14, 2011)

D&B Mack said:


> ... you only keep a subscription to the local newspaper because you need something to start the fire with.



I just keep the weekly free paper that comes in the mail. It's mostly ads, but works for starting the fire. 

I mostly cheat and use the torch :hmm3grin2orange:


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## gwiley (Nov 14, 2011)

Ohioguychris said:


> when you go outside to "smell the smoke" to verify what kind of wood you are burning...:crazy1:



To paraphrase one of my favorite movie lines:

"I love the smell of pine in the morning."


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## D&B Mack (Nov 14, 2011)

...you constantly scrub the glass on your wood stove to make sure you have a clear view, but there is 3-year-old bird crap on your bay window.

...when your non-firewood friends mention watching Axe Men, you snicker and remark "those guys aren't _REAL_ loggers"...

...you've learned how to google search craigslist for free firewood since the regional aspect of CL provides too little coverage.

...you consider "firewooding" a second job.

...you turn the "virtual fireplace" screensaver on your TV as a pre-firewood outing preparation.


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## dave_dj1 (Nov 14, 2011)

When a fellow Arborist Site member posts a link to a one day sale at the local tractor supply and you have to read every response before clicking on the link


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## DFK (Nov 14, 2011)

Dont know why I am just now remembering this....

You have given firewood as a Christmas present.

David


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## Richard_ (Nov 14, 2011)

DFK said:


> Dont know why I am just now remembering this....
> 
> You have given firewood as a Christmas present.
> 
> David



i have requested it as one before :biggrin:


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## shelbythedog (Nov 14, 2011)

...you come home from work and find rounds blocking the driveway, left by a neighbor who knew you'd want the wood the power company left in his yard. And then a few other neighbors are glad to do the same for you, just to clean up the "mess" from their yard.

...you have to call your boss and ask to come in late because the logger is running behind with your 20 cord load delivery.

...the dog doesn't want to lay on the couch from November-March because she would rather lay on the tile in front of the stove.

...you had to measure the width of your new wheelbarrow before purchasing to make sure it would fit thru the back door of the house, loaded with wood.

...you could hardly contain your excitement when your father decided it would be best if his splitter got stored permanetly at your house.

...someone you know expresses interest in using an alternative heat source and you make a long, detailed list about why cord wood is better than corn or pellets.

...you sort the mail by into 2 piles. Bills and firestarters.

...a girl at work desprately wants to take 3 cases of outdated, paper menus to a recycler rather than put them in the dumpster. You then have to explain to her that she won't be able to do so because you already have a plan to recycle them. She then argues with you that using them to start fires in the woodstove isn't actually recycling.

...you sit around the house all winter, dressed in shorts and a cutoff because you can do so, comfortably!


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## ponyexpress976 (Nov 14, 2011)

Your year has 4 seasons in but with different names 1) gathering 2)splitting 3)stacking 4)burning


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## Steve2910 (Nov 14, 2011)

When your friends stop by, look in your back yard, & say " now I know where to go if I want to steal firewood". 


When you have enough good wood that you can burn Oak in your fire pit & not worry about it.


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## Locust Cutter (Nov 15, 2011)

*You know you heat w/firewood when:*

1. Your neighbors look at your stacks with amazement and comment about the work you invested in getting that wood there and how you ought to have enough to last for years, and you reply that you don't have half pf what you should have had by this time of year,...

2. When you have hearing protection adjusted specially for your 2&3yr old children, so they can accompany you while sawing/splitting.

3. When you route the flue pipe through your upstairs bed room, to take additional advantage of it's heat (fan behind it).

4. When you contemplate declaring a business just to be able to more easily afford/depreciate bigger/better/faster/more capable/more efficient tools for wood processing.

5. When you drive 12+ hrs round trip to a GTG just to meet a guy named STUMPY and play with other people's cool toys (Sunfishes S.S, Hedgerow's 7900, Les's 084's, etc).

6. When it's easier to help friends maintain their own equip (saw chains) than it is to explain the nuances, (especially knowing that your a relative greenhorn compared to others). 

7. When your kids come and ask you if they can help "Put fire in the stove".

8. When your 2 & 3yr olds help you ferry hedge in the house, 1 split at a time. 

9. When your at the lake and a smile comes across your face, when the "neighbors" on either side of you can't understand why you have a bonfire w/relatively little smoke and they can't get their gas station pulp-wood to do anything more than smolder, if they're lucky,...

10. When you check the wood-recycle bins on base everyday after work for salvage pallets and can afford to be picky about they're quality while scrounging!

11. When you can afford to throw some hedge or Locust on a bon fire just to liven the party up a bit.

12. When you can admit to your CAD and your jealousy of UncleMustache's 'Stache:msp_w00t:

13. When your MS660 cost you more than your Toyota wood hauler did and you wouldn't part with either one of them.

14. When you can confidently complement another Guy on his long bar, w/o any sexual innuendo. 

15. When you can financially justify the purchase of more equip/wood-burners and back up your assertions w/logic, (while masking the emotion).


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## ccarpen4753 (Nov 15, 2011)

Locust Cutter said:


> 2. When you have hearing protection adjusted specially for your 2&3yr old children, so they can accompany you while sawing/splitting.
> 
> 7. When your kids come and ask you if they can help "Put fire in the stove".
> 
> 8. When your 2 & 3yr olds help you ferry hedge in the house, 1 split at a time.




Mines my best helper! Wish the older two worked as hard as her.


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## howard270 (Nov 15, 2011)

When someone says look at how pretty the leaves on that tree are, and when you look all you see is how to most efficiently cut the tree to get the most useable wood.

(I do this all the time when driving with the wife)


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## Chud (Nov 15, 2011)

You burn your arm on the stove and look in amazement at how the skin slid off.


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## Chris-PA (Nov 15, 2011)

J1m said:


> ...When the oil furnace kicks on for a minute and you and your wife look at each other in a state of panic - then frantically one of you runs to the OWB to check it and the other runs to the basement to check the water temps! True story, happened this weekend.


That used to happen now and again, but we fixed that problem - no more furnace!

You know you heat with wood when you're impatient to get through all the other jobs you have to do so you can get back to something to do with wood - preferably in the woods. Real work is about gathering firewood, everything else is just a chore.


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## D&B Mack (Nov 15, 2011)

...when your doctor asks you to track your eating habits and you include "wood chips" as part of your diet.


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## jerrycmorrow (Nov 15, 2011)

...when you have burn marks on the floor in front of the fireplace and don't really care
...when all the holes and crevices in your yard are leveled out with fireplace ashes
...when ruts in your gravel driveway are filled with wood ashes
...when you spend way too much time trying to get a free saw running cause its a challenge (dam CAD and saw, didn't want it anyway)


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## Steve NW WI (Nov 15, 2011)

...when you wonder if it's bad etiquette to cut and haul home a load of wood while up north deer hunting. Well, is it? Need an answer before Saturday...

Actually, depending on how much hunting activity there is up there, likely won't on opening weekend, but during the week I think it's fair.


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## Zale (Nov 15, 2011)

....when you laugh at your city friends as they try to start a fire with the wood they bought at 7-11.


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## howard270 (Nov 15, 2011)

For the deer hunters:

When you pass on the big 10 point and 12 point bucks you been eyeing on the game camera pictures all Fall long, even though they are at 40 yards and you have your muzzle-loader, cause the time you will have to spend butchering them could be spent cutting and splitting firewood.


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## an?qus (Nov 15, 2011)

Zale said:


> ....when you laugh at your city friends as they try to start a fire with the wood they bought at 7-11.


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## olyman (Nov 15, 2011)

howard270 said:


> For the deer hunters:
> 
> When you pass on the big 10 point and 12 point bucks you been eyeing on the game camera pictures all Fall long, even though they are at 40 yards and you have your muzzle-loader, cause the time you will have to spend butchering them could be spent cutting and splitting firewood.



THAT,,might be a BIT extreme!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:hmm3grin2orange::hmm3grin2orange::hmm3grin2orange:


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## olyman (Nov 15, 2011)

Steve NW WI said:


> ...when you wonder if it's bad etiquette to cut and haul home a load of wood while up north deer hunting. Well, is it? Need an answer before Saturday...
> 
> Actually, depending on how much hunting activity there is up there, likely won't on opening weekend, but during the week I think it's fair.



ex fil used to harange me,,about cutting firewwod,,in his woods..said it scared the deer..like h..they came within 50 feet of me,,running the chainsaw!!!


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## russhd1997 (Nov 15, 2011)

olyman said:


> ex fil used to harange me,,about cutting firewwod,,in his woods..said it scared the deer..like h..they came within 50 feet of me,,running the chainsaw!!!



The deer in my woods are used to hearing chainsaws and other equipment running. I see them all of the time when I am dragging out trees to buck up.


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## Dalmatian90 (Nov 15, 2011)

CrappieKeith said:


> You get a kick out of visitors #####ing about how warm your house is.



Corrolary: You find yourself needing a sweater whenever visiting someone who doesn't heat with wood.

Boxer shorts in January rule


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## wdchuck (Nov 16, 2011)

When splitting by starlight, like I was tonight, you pick up a round and set it on the beam and know just how it's going to split by the feel of it.....like a firewood whisperer.


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## SierraWoodsman (Nov 16, 2011)

You actually look forward to seeing your Gas Bill!


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## Whitespider (Nov 16, 2011)

olyman said:


> *ex fil used to harange me,,about cutting firewwod,,in his woods..said it scared the deer..like h..they came within 50 feet of me,,running the chainsaw!!!*


Deer are inquisitive creatures and will move in to investigate most any noise. Even if the noise is something they’ve heard a million times but is coming from an area they’re unaccustomed to hearing it. Several years ago I took my young son deer hunting (stand hunting) on an extremely cold December day. Lacking my body mass he was soon cold and shivering and I told him to walk back to the truck and start it up… run the heater for awhile (I driven the truck right down into the middle of the woods). Well, a few minutes later I hear the truck start… and quite some time later it’s still running. I finally decide, after near three-quarter hour, I’d better go see WTF is going on (figured he’d fallen asleep). When I get back to the truck I near fell over laughing… My son is sitting in the seat, truck running, and afraid to even blink his eyes… because over a dozen deer were standing around the truck staring straight at him. Two quick shots and I had the tags filled…


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## russhd1997 (Nov 16, 2011)

Whitespider said:


> Deer are inquisitive creatures and will move in to investigate most any noise. Even if the noise is something they’ve heard a million times but is coming from an area they’re unaccustomed to hearing it. Several years ago I took my young son deer hunting (stand hunting) on an extremely cold December day. Lacking my body mass he was soon cold and shivering and I told him to walk back to the truck and start it up… run the heater for awhile (I driven the truck right down into the middle of the woods). Well, a few minutes later I hear the truck start… and quite some time later it’s still running. I finally decide, after near three-quarter hour, I’d better go see WTF is going on (figured he’d fallen asleep). When I get back to the truck I near fell over laughing… My son is sitting in the seat, truck running, and afraid to even blink his eyes… because over a dozen deer were standing around the truck staring straight at him. Two quick shots and I had the tags filled…



Now that's funny!


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## JRepairsK70e (Nov 16, 2011)

using the kid as deer bait ...exploitation i tell ya !!!!can i rent him this weekend ?lol


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## olyman (Nov 16, 2011)

JRepairsK70e said:


> using the kid as deer bait ...exploitation i tell ya !!!!can i rent him this weekend ?lol



:hmm3grin2orange::hmm3grin2orange::hmm3grin2orange: if the dnr finds out what hes doing,,we will be visiting him in jail for baiting deer!!!!!!!!!!!!!


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## olyman (Nov 16, 2011)

Whitespider said:


> Deer are inquisitive creatures and will move in to investigate most any noise. Even if the noise is something they’ve heard a million times but is coming from an area they’re unaccustomed to hearing it. Several years ago I took my young son deer hunting (stand hunting) on an extremely cold December day. Lacking my body mass he was soon cold and shivering and I told him to walk back to the truck and start it up… run the heater for awhile (I driven the truck right down into the middle of the woods). Well, a few minutes later I hear the truck start… and quite some time later it’s still running. I finally decide, after near three-quarter hour, I’d better go see WTF is going on (figured he’d fallen asleep). When I get back to the truck I near fell over laughing… My son is sitting in the seat, truck running, and afraid to even blink his eyes… because over a dozen deer were standing around the truck staring straight at him. Two quick shots and I had the tags filled…



YUP!!!!! people get stuck in a mode,,that says if a pin drops, the deer will run 100 miles... your and my experience prove otherwise.......now about, that baiting of deer:hmm3grin2orange: AND, where was sons gun????


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## Whitespider (Nov 16, 2011)

L-O-L... his gun was laying in the box...


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## D&B Mack (Nov 16, 2011)

...when you buy your wife a bigger purse for Christmas so it can fit a scrench.


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## ponyexpress976 (Nov 16, 2011)

D&B Mack said:


> ...when you buy your wife a bigger purse for Christmas so it can fit a scrench.



or purchased a box of 10 screnches so you'll never be without one...ever!


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## D&B Mack (Nov 16, 2011)

ponyexpress976 said:


> or purchased a box of 10 screnches so you'll never be without one...ever!



+1 :agree2:


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## qweesdraw (Nov 16, 2011)

How about you have your Lab trained to help you bring in firewood!
(but your wood comes back to you from the splitter when you toss it on to the woodpile).
You know you split a lot of wood when your neighbor comes up with a front end loader every few weeks to get splitter chips for kindling.
You have become a great welder from breaking your splitter!
You drool at a super splitter video but wonder how fast will i break this one?


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## Ohioguychris (Nov 16, 2011)

You've seen this video and start playing the lottery because of it! 

Bob Cat wood splitter - YouTube
[video=youtube;YeanPDO-D6M]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YeanPDO-D6M[/video]


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## D&B Mack (Nov 16, 2011)

...when last year you had $10k in savings. This year you have none but a lot of stock.


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## whatscooking (Nov 18, 2011)

.... you give your stove a womans name and crack jokes to your wife like i'am going to put some hard wood into Barbra and make her hot.


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## Dalmatian90 (Nov 18, 2011)

> when you wonder if it's bad etiquette to cut and haul home a load of wood while up north deer hunting. Well, is it? Need an answer before Saturday...



I'm thinking etiquette is whatever the man who just quit smoking, and is now in the north woods equipped with a chainsaw and a rifle says it is.

:biggrin:


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## Garmins dad (Nov 18, 2011)

Steve NW WI said:


> ...when you wonder if it's bad etiquette to cut and haul home a load of wood while up north deer hunting. Well, is it? Need an answer before Saturday...



I hope so.. i cut a load of wood during the day and hunt in the evening right before dark.. or right at sun rise.. 
Every time i head out.. the saws and tools are in there waiting to be used. :msp_thumbup: Saws don't scare deer away...


----------



## Garmins dad (Nov 18, 2011)

You know your a wood burner when the first place you clear snow is from the shop door to the wood pile then around the wood shed. THEN you clean the wives parking spot and the walk to the front door.. :hmm3grin2orange: I got the evil eye for this today..:msp_tongue:


----------



## jhoff310 (Nov 18, 2011)

you have passed up a hunting or fishing trip to cut and split wood.

You open the doors and windows during the winter to cool the house off

Your saw costs more than your fiancee's engagement ring

You have more money invested in saws,files, splitter, chains etc.. than a brand new truck costs


Jeff


----------



## olyman (Nov 18, 2011)

Whitespider said:


> L-O-L... his gun was laying in the box...



 you sound,,like your trying to compete with avalancher!!!!!


----------



## PEKS (Nov 19, 2011)

D&B Mack said:


> ...when you buy your wife a bigger purse for Christmas so it can fit a scrench.



for the times she doesn't have her purse, you buy her a nice scrench necklace, bracelet and keychain..


----------



## meadowsuper (Nov 19, 2011)

When you hear your older child explaining to the younger who just started 1st grade that "although all of the work you do at school is beautiful, there is only so much room on the fridge, and construction paper starts a really good fire.

when you hear that dreaded sound of the furnace, you immediately go downstairs to make sure it is only the hot water, not a zone heating

you save a trash bag of christmas wrapping paper in the garage, b/c it is already balled up and will start the fire for the rest of the season


----------



## Garmins dad (Nov 19, 2011)

jhoff310 said:


> You open the doors and windows during the winter to cool the house off



did that this morning


----------



## an?qus (Nov 20, 2011)

Garmins dad said:


> did that this morning



Do it every day!!

You know you heat with wood when...

you open the back door to let a little heat out and the neighbor's chickens wander in to get warm and surf a little ArboristSite with your husband.


----------



## Garmins dad (Nov 20, 2011)

:msp_sneaky: Chicken soup comes to mind.. 

That's one of the greatest pics ever...


----------



## Steve NW WI (Nov 20, 2011)

You spend Saturday evening in the basement sharpening chains, in your swim trunks, with cold frosty beverages close at hand and AS up on the computer across the room.

5 freshly sharpened chains, one beverage per chain, got one cold one left for the end of the night check of AS.

Window above computer is open, BTW, 19°F outside, somewhere above 80 down here.


----------



## woodbooga (Nov 20, 2011)

avalancher said:


> You can never get that dang tailgate up on the first swing without raking all the wood chips out first..



Yeah, I hate that.

Corollary, you know you heat with wood if you read, enjoy, and relate to 11 pages devoted to this question.

We supplement with oil (70 gals ea. NH winter) but haven't bought in years. Yikes, that stuff is expensive! Up like 50% since last buy. Don't know how non-woodburners do it


----------



## Steve NW WI (Nov 20, 2011)

woodbooga said:


> Yeah, I hate that.
> 
> Corollary, you know you heat with wood if you read, enjoy, and relate to 11 pages devoted to this question.
> 
> We supplement with oil (70 gals ea. NH winter) but haven't bought in years. Yikes, that stuff is expensive! Up like 50% since last buy. Don't know how non-woodburners do it



Good to see ya again 'booga! Haven't seen ya in a bit...UncleFacialHair has been draggin your name thru the mud quite a bit...

Lose the friggin tailgate and ya fellas won't have that problem again. Just stack one row on the back and you're good, use a ratchet strap across it if John Law might question it. Don't even try to tell me you make your saws ride in the back, we know that don't happen on AS. My 7300 is learning to drive, so I can get a nap on the way to the woods!


----------



## woodbooga (Nov 20, 2011)

Steve NW WI said:


> Good to see ya again 'booga! Haven't seen ya in a bit...UncleFacialHair has been draggin your name thru the mud quite a bit...
> 
> Lose the friggin tailgate and ya fellas won't have that problem again. Just stack one row on the back and you're good, use a ratchet strap across it if John Law might question it. Don't even try to tell me you make your saws ride in the back, we know that don't happen on AS. My 7300 is learning to drive, so I can get a nap on the way to the woods!



Just enough room behind the seat for johnnyred and my little 210, which is perfect for the 3-6" pine I'm focused on now that the hardwood is up in the barn.

Uncle who? Is he an AS member?:msp_confused:


----------



## an?qus (Nov 20, 2011)

Garmins dad said:


> :msp_sneaky: Chicken soup comes to mind..
> 
> That's one of the greatest pics ever...



I was thinking roast chicken, but yeah, thanks!


----------



## an?qus (Nov 20, 2011)

woodbooga said:


> Yeah, I hate that.
> 
> Corollary, you know you heat with wood if you read, enjoy, and relate to 11 pages devoted to this question.



It's so cool to see how much alike we all are!!



woodbooga said:


> We supplement with oil (70 gals ea. NH winter) but haven't bought in years. Yikes, that stuff is expensive! Up like 50% since last buy. Don't know how non-woodburners do it



Another corollary: You know you heat with wood when you have to bite your tongue when your neighbors are complaining about their fuel bills and you don't want to rub their noses in yours...wait a minute...WHAT FUEL BILL?? :msp_wink:

Another corollary: You know you heat with wood when the oil in your tank is so old, the oil left in it is evaporated. Be careful if you open that tank, Booga! Nasty fumes!


----------



## bowtechmadman (Nov 20, 2011)

When you shoot a good buck and it happens to land next to a pile of split wood that still needs hauled to the house. Retrieve the deer w/ quad and trailer only to decide to load up the trailer w/ the wood (since your there) before throwing the deer on top. Only to find out that my father and I couldn't get the deer up on top of the load of wood. Had to make a second trip to get the deer.


----------



## unclemoustache (Nov 20, 2011)

anéqus said:


> you open the back door to let a little heat out and the neighbor's chickens wander in to get warm and surf a little ArboristSite with your husband.



That's a pretty intense gaze. Obviously looking at snackies on the WTF picture thread.





Steve NW WI said:


> Good to see ya again 'booga! Haven't seen ya in a bit...UncleFacialHair has been draggin your name thru the mud quite a bit...



The nasty jerk! How could anyone do that to poor booga??





woodbooga said:


> Uncle who? Is he an AS member?:msp_confused:



Nah - just some social-climber who's trying to worm his way into some old lady's will. Just ignore him and all will be well.


----------



## an?qus (Nov 20, 2011)

unclemoustache said:


> That's a pretty intense gaze. Obviously looking at snackies on the WTF picture thread.



Just went over to wtf and gave up. That's a big thread!! Gotta be wings, right??


----------



## olyman (Nov 20, 2011)

Another corollary: You know you heat with wood when the oil in your tank is so old, the oil left in it is evaporated.


> funny,,but NOT true...


----------



## an?qus (Nov 20, 2011)

anéqus said:


> Another corollary: You know you heat with wood when the oil in your tank is so old, the oil left in it is evaporated. Be careful if you open that tank, Booga! Nasty fumes!





olyman said:


> funny,,but NOT true...



It doesn't actually evaporate, I know. I didn't want to sacrifice humor for a technicality. It does break down, though. 

You know the guy next door DOESN'T heat with OIL anymore when the state department of environmental protection shows up because the fool finally decides to DUMP the old oil from his tank. The environmental police guy told us the ungodly fumes were from the old oil volatilizing into aromatic hydrocarbons and it contaminated the air in the entire neighborhood. Husband ended up sick at the doctor's and had elevated liver enzymes for a few months afterward. I had a headache and fatigue for two weeks and the kid across the street had a two-week long asthma attack. He was fined thousands. I would be careful.


----------



## 1project2many (Nov 20, 2011)

> He was fined thousands. I would be careful.


I would pour it in the tank of my old Mercedes diesel and burn it. It's dangerous and wrong on the ground, but it's perfectly legal as a dense, black cloud of particulate emissions.

-->You know you heat with wood when you have to discipline yourself not to burn the fuel for the backup heater in the daily driver "'Cause it's gettin' real old."

-->You know the bar you visited heats with wood when you notice a thermostat in the room with no wires connected, and the bartender tells you it's for the new guys who complain it's too hot inside. "Ya see, we just go over and turn it down for 'em and they're just tickled that we treat 'em that special. Then we get 'em real drunk and sell 'em their own boots."


----------



## olyman (Nov 21, 2011)

It does break down, though. 

You know the guy next door DOESN'T heat with OIL anymore when the state department of environmental protection shows up because the fool finally decides to DUMP the old oil from his tank. .[/QUOTE]

Doesnt break down...been there. Enviromental type..real winners, they are...And no, i wouldnt dump fuel oil that way either,,for the one that believes i burn old tires on this forum...It burns just fine..Mercedes or any other diesel..


----------



## ponyexpress976 (Nov 21, 2011)

*You know you heat with wood when*

...saw chips can occasionally be found on your person...AFTER you have showered.

...saw chips at your house are like sand at the beach...everywhere


----------



## olyman (Nov 21, 2011)

ponyexpress976 said:


> ...saw chips can occasionally be found on your person...AFTER you have showered.
> 
> ...saw chips at your house are like sand at the beach...everywhere



and in every front shirt,,and coat pocket. Never know,,when you might need a few pieces of fire starter......


----------



## an?qus (Nov 21, 2011)

*You know you heat with wood when...*



olyman said:


> Doesnt break down...been there. Enviromental type..real winners, they are...And no, i wouldnt dump fuel oil that way either,,for the one that believes i burn old tires on this forum...It burns just fine..Mercedes or any other diesel..



You know you heat with wood when...

Your (thankfully FORMER) next door neighbor...
who thought you were burning rubbish in your wood stove...
offers you the pallets his walkway stones came on, and you think to yourself...

" They'll burn!"

It was probably just some old locust! :bad_smelly: 
The walls and roof of that house are at least 150 year old wide boards and all rotted out. 
We got to see it when the PREVIOUS owners flipped the place 
and replaced a few shingles here and there just to patch it up.

So I guess that's why... 

You know you heat with wood when...
you need all these saws and a few more...
and the wood they're sittin' on...
and three or four more piles like it... 
to cut up all those plastic packages your stuff from WalMart comes in!!


----------



## IHDiesel73L (Nov 21, 2011)

You've stopped to pick up oak rounds stacked on the roadside. In a suit and tie. On the way to an important meeting for work. In July. :msp_tongue:

You rigged up a junker lawn tractor with snow chains on the rear tires, stripped the mowing deck, and added wheel weights to tow a cart because some fool rolled fifteen 30"+ ash rounds into a ravine.

In the middle of a snowstorm in January with the temperature approaching 0 degrees F, your wife (who is always cold) says, "Can you open the front door? It's a little warm in here." 

You look forward to visiting your in-laws because of the downed trees in the back of their lot. 

You keep running out of pallets to stack on because you can't resist burning them.


----------



## Chris-PA (Nov 21, 2011)

anéqus said:


> Another corollary: You know you heat with wood when you have to bite your tongue when your neighbors are complaining about their fuel bills and you don't want to rub their noses in yours...wait a minute...WHAT FUEL BILL??


I heat my house with a precise mixture of 2 stroke mix, bar oil and Motrin.


----------



## olyman (Nov 21, 2011)

WoodHeatWarrior said:


> I heat my house with a precise mixture of 2 stroke mix, bar oil and Motrin.



The motrin is what is important!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


----------



## Chris-PA (Nov 21, 2011)

olyman said:


> The motrin is what is important!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


You can substitute alcohol for the Motrin (but never mix them)! Of course, if I have enough to be effective I won't get anything done the next day.


----------



## Chris-PA (Nov 21, 2011)

anéqus said:


> Do it every day!!
> 
> You know you heat with wood when...
> 
> you open the back door to let a little heat out and the neighbor's chickens wander in to get warm and surf a little ArboristSite with your husband.


Awsome picture - our chickens would be only too happy to come in if we let them!


----------



## an?qus (Nov 21, 2011)

WoodHeatWarrior said:


> Awsome picture - our chickens would be only too happy to come in if we let them!



Ya know the back door's always open, right?? :msp_biggrin: They just wander in!


----------



## olyman (Nov 21, 2011)

WoodHeatWarrior said:


> You can substitute alcohol for the Motrin (but never mix them)! Of course, if I have enough to be effective I won't get anything done the next day.



I dont drink,,but i know what ibuprofen is!!!!


----------



## upsnake (Nov 21, 2011)

When "normal" people are inside watching MNF, you are outside working on the wood pile with the halogen lights.






View attachment 208140


----------



## an?qus (Nov 22, 2011)

IHDiesel73L said:


> You've stopped to pick up oak rounds stacked on the roadside. In a suit and tie. On the way to an important meeting for work. In July.



That's great!



IHDiesel73L said:


> ...some fool rolled fifteen 30"+ ash rounds into a ravine.


----------



## LFEngineering (Nov 22, 2011)

You've spent hundreds of hours at work reading this forum & even prepared a presentation grade photo describing your woodpile.





sorry for posting the picture in 2 threads, I'm just so damn proud of my woodpile. :msp_biggrin:​


----------



## olyman (Nov 22, 2011)

LFEngineering said:


> You've spent hundreds of hours at work reading this forum & even prepared a presentation grade photo describing your woodpile.
> 
> 
> 
> ...



:hmm3grin2orange::hmm3grin2orange::hmm3grin2orange:


----------



## unclemoustache (Nov 22, 2011)

LFEngineering said:


> You've spent hundreds of hours at work reading this forum & even prepared a presentation grade photo describing your woodpile.
> 
> 
> 
> ...




Nice! Now you need to organize it according to BTUs so you know what to grab according to the thermometer.


----------



## Locust Cutter (Nov 23, 2011)

upsnake said:


> When "normal" people are inside watching MNF, you are outside working on the wood pile with the halogen lights.
> 
> 
> 
> ...



Been there. Done that. My Main source of income is the KS Air Nat'l Guard and I work nights, so it's easier to split at night sometimes. Now you REALLY know that you heat with wood when you're about to engineer an all hours splitting area w/hardwired lights, a roof (rain/snow protection) and possibly a conveyor, to carry away splits when you don't have an extra set of hands to do it for you, (preparing to pick up a S.S.H.D. to compliment the Speeco). I'll bust the big rounds (20"+) w/the Speeco to make them manageable for my back, then finish them with the S.S. and save A LOT of time!!!!! View attachment 208338
Then I'll be able to make about 6x this amount in a lot shorter time!


----------



## Ohioguychris (Nov 23, 2011)

unclemoustache said:


> Nice! Now you need to organize it according to BTUs so you know what to grab according to the thermometer.




Whew.....I thought I was the only one that did that! :msp_lol:


----------



## Chris-PA (Nov 23, 2011)

Ohioguychris said:


> Whew.....I thought I was the only one that did that! :msp_lol:


OK, you guys who are - umm, a little too concerned with organization - are kinda scary to those of us who aren't!:msp_scared:

Seriously though, stacking wood is a huge logistical PITA sometimes. Since I never have enough stuff seasoned as much as I would like, I have to organize it so that the good stuff is accessible first. And while my wife is good with the stove, she doesn't have the level of interest required to learn what species are what, and which is the good stuff to burn now. And all this organization stuff gives me the willies.


----------



## Soby1 (Nov 23, 2011)

When you have soothed a burn on your forearm with a cold on after grazeing the door while trying to fit that last piece in for the overnight burn.


----------



## Wife'nHubby (Nov 23, 2011)

unclemoustache said:


> Nice! Now you need to organize it according to BTUs so you know what to grab according to the thermometer.





Ohioguychris said:


> Whew.....I thought I was the only one that did that! :msp_lol:




Haven't seen one of these yet: Here's my "Wood Map" from a while ago:







Shari


----------



## Chris-PA (Nov 23, 2011)

I thought I should give this organization stuff a try too. Here's my map:




Waddya think? I feel like I may be missing something here.


----------



## Wife'nHubby (Nov 23, 2011)

WoodHeatWarrior said:


> I thought I should give this organization stuff a try too. Here's my map:
> 
> 
> 
> ...




Heh heh heh! Not if you are ahead of the game! 

When we started didn't have much 'seasoned' wood - so - because sometimes I could get hubby to bring up the wood, I had to literally draw him a map as verbal instructions didn't work too well.

Now that we are somewhat ahead of the game, it's more like "Grab some wood from the right side stacks".

Shari


----------



## Chris-PA (Nov 23, 2011)

Wife'nHubby said:


> Heh heh heh! Not if you are ahead of the game!
> 
> When we started didn't have much 'seasoned' wood - so - because sometimes I could get hubby to bring up the wood, I had to literally draw him a map as verbal instructions didn't work too well.
> 
> ...


I'm a long was from "head of the game" - if I work really hard and get very lucky I may be able to get to just "grossly behind"!


----------



## chopperfreak2k1 (Nov 23, 2011)

Wife'nHubby said:


> Haven't seen one of these yet: Here's my "Wood Map" from a while ago:
> 
> 
> 
> ...



i think thats awesome that you were able to organize your wood that well. IDK if i'll ever go that far but the thought is nice.


----------



## Ohioguychris (Nov 23, 2011)

View attachment 208370


This is more like my pile of wood! I know, I'm not much of an artist....


----------



## Chris-PA (Nov 23, 2011)

Ohioguychris said:


> This is more like my pile of wood! I know, I'm not much of an artist....


LOL - I left off all that stuff too, including all the branches that came down and I'm just ignoring so far. I suppose I'll have to stop and eat Thursday, but I gotta keep moving. My goal is to have a nice rack of ready to burn wood when the next snow hits. I'm gonna make it.


----------



## Wife'nHubby (Nov 23, 2011)

chopperfreak2k1 said:


> i think thats awesome that you were able to organize your wood that well. IDK if i'll ever go that far but the thought is nice.



I didn't really try to organize it - that's just the way I received it. I was 'learning' the different types of wood, how they burned & how long they took to season properly. 

Now, 2 yrs. later - I don't care how it's organized except Oak is separated out, so is Box Elder, fruit tree wood and any soft wood.

Shari


----------



## an?qus (Nov 23, 2011)

WoodHeatWarrior said:


> I thought I should give this organization stuff a try too. Here's my map:
> 
> 
> 
> ...



Tarps??

You know you heat with wood when you have a pile that looks like this 
and you feel a special relationship with every piece of wood in it...
because with every load put onto it, it's covered with 
another tarp...and then another and then another.

When you get around to stacking it, 
you have to rescue the tarps by moving the pieces 
one at a time from corner to corner to corner.

When you go to to load the stove, and you say to the wood, "I remember you!!"


----------



## H-Ranch (Nov 23, 2011)

...when the thought of the propane truck coming is the only thing that will motivate you to burn your hard-earned stacks.

(By the way - if it's not a right angle it's a wrong angle!  )


----------



## Dalmatian90 (Nov 23, 2011)

You know you heat with wood when ... you didn't notice the elephant in the last picture? 

WTF?!?!?


----------



## Ohioguychris (Nov 23, 2011)

H-Ranch said:


> ...when the thought of the propane truck coming is the only thing that will motivate you to burn your hard-earned stacks.
> 
> (By the way - if it's not a right angle it's a wrong angle!  )




What the heck!?! Is that REALLY a freaking ELEPHANT standing there in the background??? :msp_scared:

Nice pile of wood by the way!


----------



## Chris-PA (Nov 23, 2011)

H-Ranch said:


> ...when the thought of the propane truck coming is the only thing that will motivate you to burn your hard-earned stacks.
> 
> (By the way - if it's not a right angle it's a wrong angle!  )


I love the elephant! I was looking at the picture and thinking wait, what IS that....


----------



## an?qus (Nov 23, 2011)

*You know you heat with wood when...*



H-Ranch said:


> ...when the thought of the propane truck coming is the only thing that will motivate you to burn your hard-earned stacks.
> 
> (By the way - if it's not a right angle it's a wrong angle!  )



You know you heat with wood when...
you photoshop an elephant into the picture of your wood piles to see whose attention is on the wood and whose isn't!! GOOD ONE!!


----------



## Ohioguychris (Nov 23, 2011)

View attachment 208421


You know you heat with wood when.... You have a trained monkey with a chainsaw!


----------



## artbaldoni (Nov 23, 2011)

J1m said:


> ...When the oil furnace kicks on for a minute and you and your wife look at each other in a state of panic - then frantically one of you runs to the OWB to check it and the other runs to the basement to check the water temps! True story, happened this weekend.



Guilty! :msp_ohmy:


----------



## artbaldoni (Nov 23, 2011)

...when you spend weeks trying to decide what the difference is between a hookaroon and a pickaroon and exactly which one you should buy! 

BTW I just read every word in this thread start to finish. :Eye:


----------



## Chris-PA (Nov 23, 2011)

Ohioguychris said:


> View attachment 208421
> 
> 
> You know you heat with wood when.... You have a trained monkey with a chainsaw!


That looks like a Wild Thing! That monkey knows value when he sees it.


----------



## 1project2many (Nov 23, 2011)

I'm just lost. How'd you guys get such nice, round piles of wood??? And where's the Elephant? All I saw was a skidder. I hate being the FNG.


----------



## chopperfreak2k1 (Nov 23, 2011)

1project2many said:


> I'm just lost. How'd you guys get such nice, round piles of wood??? And where's the Elephant? All I saw was a skidder. I hate being the FNG.



skidder!!! oh you're gonna fit in good here.

this has been nominated for funniest post of the year.


----------



## an?qus (Nov 24, 2011)

tr33thri11s said:


> While at the restaraunte you stack mini cords with the...



...French fries


----------



## Ohioguychris (Nov 24, 2011)

chopperfreak2k1

Quote Originally Posted by 1project2many View Post
I'm just lost. How'd you guys get such nice, round piles of wood??? And where's the Elephant? All I saw was a skidder. I hate being the FNG.




chopperfreak2k1 said:


> skidder!!! oh you're gonna fit in good here.
> 
> this has been nominated for funniest post of the year.




You know you heat with wood when.....

You are sooooo focused on the wood and DONT see the Elephant standing in the picture.:haha:


----------



## Locust Cutter (Nov 24, 2011)

Ohioguychris said:


> chopperfreak2k1
> 
> Quote Originally Posted by 1project2many View Post
> I'm just lost. How'd you guys get such nice, round piles of wood??? And where's the Elephant? All I saw was a skidder. I hate being the FNG.
> ...



Elephant Hell,... That's just a "GREEN" Skidder/Loader/tractor/Manure distributor,... LOL:yoyo: Fantastic Ground clearance and amazing low-range!


----------



## an?qus (Nov 24, 2011)

*You know you heat with wood when...*

...the gas company needs to change your meter every year or two
("just because" they do), 
till one year you get lucky 
and the gal who comes to replace it 
ends up buying a couple of cords,
and the gas company gets the message that 
you really DON'T have that much use for their product 
and finally leaves you alone!!


----------



## olyman (Nov 24, 2011)

anéqus said:


> ...the gas company needs to change your meter every year or two
> ("just because" they do),
> till one year you get lucky
> and the gal who comes to replace it
> ...



Was she good looking,,and built????:hmm3grin2orange:


----------



## an?qus (Nov 24, 2011)

olyman said:


> Was she good looking,,and built????:hmm3grin2orange:



You're gonna have to ask my husband....Cheeves???


----------



## cheeves (Nov 24, 2011)

anéqus said:


> You're gonna have to ask my husband....Cheeves???



Not bad.


----------



## an?qus (Nov 24, 2011)

*You know you heat with wood when...*

...you want to punch a guy in the head
because he just said "your saw sucks," 
and you thought he just said
"your kid's ugly!"issed-off:


----------



## angelo c (Nov 24, 2011)

when this is your "family grocery getter"-----http://www.arboristsite.com/attachments/firewood-heating-wood-burning-equipment/208491d1322168998-shrunkin-truck-jpg


----------



## olyman (Nov 24, 2011)

cheeves said:


> Not bad.



:hmm3grin2orange::hmm3grin2orange:


----------



## Davej_07 (Nov 28, 2011)

When, while enjoying breakfast at Cracker Barrel with the wife, you can't help yourself and just go poke up their fire because they wouldn't do it! Lol

Dave


----------



## Dalmatian90 (Nov 28, 2011)

You take a vacation day to clean the disgusting mess called your garage (two years of allowing the Law of Flat Surfaces to function without interruption)...

...and you're pondering if you can build a rolling rack for your saws.

(My garage is bigger then many, but not quite big enough...so I have to do the Chinese Puzzle often to move things around for projects).


----------



## jhoff310 (Nov 28, 2011)

Brings up memories of this thread

http://www.arboristsite.com/firewood-heating-wood-burning-equipment/150488.htm


----------



## ccarpen4753 (Nov 29, 2011)

jhoff310 said:


> Brings up memories of this thread
> 
> http://www.arboristsite.com/firewood-heating-wood-burning-equipment/150488.htm



That thread and this one are why I love this site. These should be made into a Firewooders manual under Standard Operating Procedures.


----------



## an?qus (Nov 29, 2011)

ccarpen4753 said:


> That thread and this one are why I love this site. These should be made into a Firewooders manual under Standard Operating Procedures.



Let's get AS' lawyers to settle up with Jeff Foxworthy and publish them!! Better yet, get Foxworthy and the boys to do the bit on Comedy Central!


----------



## tnichols (Nov 30, 2011)

beerman6 said:


> ...you have no hair on your hands.



Got to this thread late, and that's exactly what I was going to say! Just noticed it this morning, not a single hair from the knuckles to the tips.


----------



## jhoff310 (Nov 30, 2011)

While out for an evening walk with your wife you smell wood smoke. Your follow your nose to the house and check out the homeowners woodpile. and then decide if its worthy enough to strike up a conversation with the homeowner about wood heat

You can tell what kind of wood is burning and how seasoned it is by the smell of the smoke

You use the postcard from your propane supplier as firestarter




I cant believe this thread is still going...I love it

Jeff


----------



## Wife'nHubby (Nov 30, 2011)

jhoff310 said:


> You use the postcard from your propane supplier as firestarter




...and then you turn around and send him a Christmas card showing your woodstacks! :biggrin:

Shari


----------



## buildmyown (Nov 30, 2011)

You pass a stack of 10 pallets on the side of the road on the way to work but dont stop because your already running late then your pissed at yourself becasue they are gone by the time your on your way home. Happened today.:bang::bang:

Pass by a very wet area with 5 large oaks blown down everyday and you keep trying to fiqure out a way to get them out before knocking on the land owners door.


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## olyman (Nov 30, 2011)

buildmyown said:


> You pass a stack of 10 pallets on the side of the road on the way to work but dont stop because your already running late then your pissed at yourself becasue they are gone by the time your on your way home. Happened today.:bang::bang:
> 
> Pass by a very wet area with 5 large oaks blown down everyday and you keep trying to fiqure out a way to get them out before knocking on the land owners door.



8000 lb winch attached to something sturdy!!!!!!


----------



## SS396driver (Dec 1, 2011)

wdchuck said:


> You'll go to extremes for some seasoned wood for this year:
> 
> 
> .
> ...



when we all read it and not one of us make any snide comments....


You know you heat with wood when your neighbor yell over the fence "why do you have that damn woodstove going its 80 out" and your smoking a brisket


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## wdchuck (Dec 1, 2011)

SS396driver said:


> when we all read it and not one of us make any snide comments....



Your comprehension of depth is cordial.:msp_tongue:


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## Locust Cutter (Dec 1, 2011)

jhoff310 said:


> While out for an evening walk with your wife you smell wood smoke. Your follow your nose to the house and check out the homeowners woodpile. and then decide if its worthy enough to strike up a conversation with the homeowner about wood heat
> 
> You can tell what kind of wood is burning and how seasoned it is by the smell of the smoke
> 
> ...



On a similar note, when you stop by a "wood" recycling center after work each day to see if there are any decent pallets available and can afford to be picky (due to them being plentiful and free) when selecting them.... It's great I can dump branches and brush whenever I need for free and rifle through for pallets and various wood (2x4's, 2x6's, 4x4's, 4x8 plywood, etc... Being in the service has some fringe benefits.


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## an?qus (Dec 1, 2011)

*You know you heat with wood when...*

...you have to visit your husband out at the woodpile...
and when you get there you find him sniffing a length of red oak he just split and going,
"mmmmmmm."

The truth is stranger than fiction! (are we for real???)


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## Locust Cutter (Dec 1, 2011)

anéqus said:


> ...you have to visit your husband out at the woodpile...
> and when you get there you find him sniffing a length of red oak he just split and going,
> "mmmmmmm."
> 
> The truth is stranger than fiction! (are we for real???)



My wife doesn't understand either,... LOL


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## JRepairsK70e (Dec 1, 2011)

gotta love that fresh split walnut smell lol


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## Garmins dad (Dec 2, 2011)

Locust Cutter said:


> My wife doesn't understand either,... LOL



nor does mine.. she looks all over the house for me.. then my shop.. last place is the splitter hideout.. That SHOULD be the first place.. :hmm3grin2orange:


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## struggle (Dec 2, 2011)

Since we have to young kids 8 and 10 we have to tell their friends to dress light when they come over to play. Our home is considered the warmest one in the neighborhood:hmm3grin2orange:


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## logbutcher (Dec 2, 2011)

Maybe been said:

...when you are compelled to use Freudian innuendos for firewood desire ( e.g. "oak envy" ) when your woodlot has crap.

...when you find it difficult to keep your mouth shut when virgin wood burners all of a sudden 'know' all about wood heating ( "foot in mouth" disease ).

...when those virgin woodies TELL you that their stove ( e.g. The Ultra Ultra Ultra Testosterone) will last for at least 40 hours of high heating ( more sexual innuendos as in "last" ).

...when those in more tropical climes ( Ct, Tenn, Iowa, B.C. PNW ) boast of their high BTU species ( e.g. oak, hickory, hedge ) and you feel insecure ( more Freudian ).

...when you hear questions about the S.O.P. of wood heating that you do routinely, and feel superior ( Freud ).

..when you have a serious case of The Woodpiles, often snorting the stacks, or gazing lovingly at the woodshed, the racks ( more Sigmund ).

There is too much more for this compulsion. :msp_scared:


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## electiccottage (Dec 2, 2011)

When the first thing you buy for your new house that needs a complete renovation is a wood stove...followed by a splitter.

When you can have indepth conversations with your husband (or in most cases here I would guess wife) about burn times and types of wood (and not THAT kind either)

When there's a mini-race in the door after work to see who gets to stoke the stove

When you get up a few times a night and it's not because you were drinking green tea before bed (we can get overnight burns in our stove but until it gets really cold out it gets too darn hot to sleep when we do)

When you consider it a challenge to burn with the least smoke possible, even on start up with somewhat damp wood 

When you're in shoulder season and your dog lays on the couch sighing and staring at the cold stove

When you know what shoulder season is

When you want to call in to work because there's an overnight wind storm and there might be trees down somewhere

When you buy a dust buster specifically to clean the hearth pad...and you use it nightly

When you video tape your secondary burn to post on youtube, because you finally got it figured out and can replicate it when you want

When your computer wall paper is a photo of a fire in your stove

When you rip out a central heat system and don't replace it

When you plan your entire living room remodel around where the stove will be placed


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## Garmins dad (Dec 2, 2011)

Your a wood burner when you build a new house and the first thing in is the wood stove. Then you must move the wood stove to put slate down on top of cement board. Then reinstall the wood stove. :msp_sneaky: wife has no flooring in the bathroom or living room.. BUT the slate for the stove was done five years ago.. :msp_biggrin: 

Wife has stopped getting on your case about some wood chips and ashes in the living room..


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## electiccottage (Dec 2, 2011)

I forgot one..

When the ONLY place you went on Black Friday was Tractor Supply.


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## howellhandmade (Dec 2, 2011)

When you finally have a reason to like stupid, miserable, interminable winter.


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## Bob95065 (Dec 2, 2011)

electiccottage said:


> I forgot one..
> 
> When the ONLY place you went on Black Friday was Tractor Supply.



Guilty as charged. When I found the Black Friday ad I couldn't wait to post it here.


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## wat648 (Dec 2, 2011)

"When the first thing you buy for your new house that needs a complete renovation is a wood stove...followed by a splitter"

Glad I am not the only one!


----------



## chainsaw kid (Dec 2, 2011)

You go outside to fetch a couple of logs to get the fire going first thing in the morning in your boxers, T-shirt and slippers when it's -10 degrees....


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## an?qus (Dec 2, 2011)

Bob95065 said:


> Guilty as charged. When I found the Black Friday ad I couldn't wait to post it here.



ditto! Got in on that Wild Thing special!


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## an?qus (Dec 2, 2011)

*You know you heat with wood when...*

...you finally decide it's time to buy stock in ChapStik!


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## unclemoustache (Dec 2, 2011)

jhoff310 said:


> While out for an evening walk with your wife you smell wood smoke. Your follow your nose to the house and check out the homeowners woodpile. and then decide if its worthy enough to strike up a conversation with the homeowner about wood heat
> Jeff



Or rather, when you already know everyone within a 1 mile radius who heats with wood.


Thought I'd also post a layout of my setup.








View attachment 209614


Yes, I drive a used funeral limo. 7 kids, you know!


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## olyman (Dec 3, 2011)

...when those in more tropical climes ( Ct, Tenn, Iowa, B.C. PNW ) boast of their high BTU species ( e.g. oak, hickory, hedge ) and you feel insecure ( more Freudian ).

[/QUOTE]

IOWA??????? You got to be kidding!!!! Come out here,,in about the middle of jan,,and tell me of this "tropical" clime!!!!!!! NOTTTTTT!!!!!! Last year,,was the most recorded snowfall here, since i have lived at this address. Certain spot in yard, never had over 2 foot. Last year, it was 38 inches deep there. Its in a non wind blown spot........


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## olyman (Dec 3, 2011)

Yes, I drive a used funeral limo. 7 kids, you know![/QUOTE]

And you had a handlebar at that time???


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## 1project2many (Dec 3, 2011)

> IOWA??????? You got to be kidding!!!! Come out here,,in about the middle of jan,,and tell me of this "tropical" clime!!!!!!! NOTTTTTT!!!!!!



lol. I always look forward to midwinter snow. The temperature rises when a warm front arrives. Besides, snow's an insulator. Pile it high to stay happy and warm. 

unclemoustache, you're long way from that stove. Are you warm enough?

You know you heat with wood when your garden tractor has attachments and modifications just to help move logs around the yard.

You know you heat with wood when you look forward to rediscovering what hardwood mix you stacked in the woodshed 2 summers ago.

You know you heat with wood when you own a jar of stove black and know how to apply it.


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## upsnake (Dec 3, 2011)

1project2many said:


> unclemoustache, you're long way from that stove. Are you warm enough?



He wouldn't want his moustache to catch on fire now would he?


----------



## scottb (Dec 3, 2011)

When 76 degrees is to hot in the summer, and to cold in the winter.


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## Chris-PA (Dec 3, 2011)

anéqus said:


> ...you have to visit your husband out at the woodpile...
> and when you get there you find him sniffing a length of red oak he just split and going,
> "mmmmmmm."
> 
> The truth is stranger than fiction! (are we for real???)


LOL - I can still remember the look on the kid's faces when I brought in some fresh split red oak and had them snort it! But they had to admit it smelled good!


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## Whitespider (Dec 3, 2011)

logbutcher said:


> *...when those in more tropical climes ( Ct, Tenn, Iowa, B.C. PNW )…*





olyman said:


> *IOWA??????? You got to be kidding!!!! Come out here,,in about the middle of jan,,and tell me of this "tropical" clime!!!!!!! NOTTTTTT!!!!!!...*


Actually *logbutcher* is technically correct, the *mean annual* temperature for Maine is 7[sup]o[/sup] colder than Iowa (Maine = 41[sup]o[/sup], Iowa = 48[sup]o[/sup]). *BUT*, it ain’t so much ‘cause Maine has colder winters… rather it has very cool summers when compared to Iowa. Because of these (relatively) cool summers Maine gets ranked as the third coldest stated while Iowa is ranked fifteenth when comparing *mean annual* temperature.

Most other “cold winter” states (especially those in the interior) will see summer temperatures in excess of 90[sup]o[/sup] for several days each year, and many see over 100[sup]o[/sup] for at least a handful of days. The average summer high temperature in Maine is 64[sup]o[/sup], the average summer low temperature in Iowa is 65[sup]o[/sup]. Get it? During the summer, our average overnight lows are warmer than Maine’s average midday highs. It is possible for Maine to see frost 10 months of the year… the only other state that can claim that is Alaska.

Where *logbutcher* goes wrong is assuming that also means Maine has colder winters… which is an incorrect assumption. For comparison, the coldest temperature ever recorded in Maine was -48[sup]o[/sup] (Van Buren, 1925) and in Iowa it was -47[sup]o[/sup] (Elkader, 1996). And for reference, neither Maine nor Iowa even place on the top-ten list for coldest ever temperatures in the lower 48… In actuality, Maine is only slightly colder than Iowa during winter months (November – March)... where the northern third of Iowa is the same, or slightly colder than Maine.

But we can’t rank winter severity on temperature alone… the length of winter weather, the number of snow and ice storms, as well as wind must be considered. Maine surely beats Iowa on the length (compared to southern Iowa, winter never ends in Maine LOL). Maine may not always necessarily have more storms, but on average they certainly dump more snow and ice. Where Iowa out-steps Maine by a long-shot is blizzards and wind, and the average daily wind-chill temperature… most of Maine doesn’t even come close. And for reference, Iowa just barely makes the top-ten list for winter wind… heck, even Minnesota beats Iowa on that count.

Yeah, the winters in Maine are nasty… but Iowa winter sure the heck ain’t “tropical” by any stretch! And really, it is debatable whether-or-not one is worse than the other. If’n ya’ really want to experience horrible winter weather, spend a January in someplace like North Dakota or Montana… Rogers Pass, Montana hit -70[sup]o[/sup](without the wind-chill) in 1954… and the wind never stops blowing in Montana. The only U.S. location to ever record a colder temperature was Prospect Creek, Alaska at -80[sup]o[/sup] in 1971.


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## rottiman (Dec 3, 2011)

Yes, I drive a used funeral limo. 7 kids, you know![/QUOTE


Might be worth lookin @ getting the T.V. fixed..............LOL


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## artbaldoni (Dec 3, 2011)

...when you blew all the leaves out of the yard, put up Christmas lights outside, cleaned all the gutters and downspouts, brought all the boxes of Christmas decorations up from the basement, erected the 10' Christmas tree in the house, washed the windows in the great room and spent a couple hours cleaning the basement and feel like you didn't acomplish anything because you wasted a good wood cutting day... :msp_mad:


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## unclemoustache (Dec 3, 2011)

1project2many said:


> unclemoustache, you're long way from that stove. Are you warm enough?.





upsnake said:


> He wouldn't want his moustache to catch on fire now would he?




Yes, I'm close enough to the stove. That room gets nice and toasty. Sometimes even that is too close, and no, torching the stache would be bad - very bad for business to say the least!


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## Wood Doctor (Dec 3, 2011)

*You know you heat with wood when...*

Your neighbor asks you to sell him a load of firewood right after the first big snow of the winter falls.


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## spike60 (Dec 3, 2011)

......when you have a piece of hickory and a piece of cherry in the stove and you intentionally fan out some smoke into the living room because it smells great.


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## Steve NW WI (Dec 4, 2011)

When you keep a box full of wood in the pickup in the eventuality that someone will call wanting to haul something, and you can make them help unload it. Worked for me today!


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## electiccottage (Dec 4, 2011)

Your christmas list includes cast iron cookware and wood stove recipe books because you don't see any reason to use up propane in the kitchen range when the wood stove is right there and already hot...


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## Wood Doctor (Dec 4, 2011)

*You know you heat with wood when...*

... that hoard of kindling you saved for starting new fires somehow vanishes in December. :biggrinbounce2:


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## an?qus (Dec 5, 2011)

*You know you heat with wood when...*

...you start to yell at your husband for checking out the cute chick across the street 
when you realize he's just eying the stand of fallen locust behind her!!


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## Dons kids (Dec 5, 2011)

*You know you heat with wood when...*

When there are grass clipping on top of the snow because you used your snowblower in your yard to clear a path to your wood pile. Big snow storm, roads are closed, the power goes out in your neighborhood, your the only house with heat, stepping over neighborhood kids sleeping on the foor in the morning when you go to work. (Laugh at me now!!!!, lost power for 5 five days, was able to keep the house at 65-68 degees, no blowers, no fans, outside temp below 32. Never leaving outdoor cooking supplies (pie maker, marshmallow/hotdog forks...) at camp because you use them all winter.


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## CTYank (Dec 5, 2011)

Welcome to DonsKids. Good one- wood-fired rug-rats.


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## Ohioguychris (Dec 5, 2011)

avalancher said:


> and the number one indication that you heat with wood?
> 
> 
> 
> ...



*
Page 18!!!*


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## Garmins dad (Dec 5, 2011)

Dons kids said:


> When there are grass clipping on top of the snow because you used your snowblower in your yard to clear a path to your wood pile. Big snow storm, roads are closed, the power goes out in your neighborhood, your the only house with heat, stepping over neighborhood kids sleeping on the foor in the morning when you go to work. (Laugh at me now!!!!, lost power for 5 five days, was able to keep the house at 65-68 degees, no blowers, no fans, outside temp below 32. Never leaving outdoor cooking supplies (pie maker, marshmallow/hotdog forks...) at camp because you use them all winter.





Sounds like you belong here...


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## Garmins dad (Dec 5, 2011)

You "convince" your wife to park outside so you can stack wood in her bay in the garage.. 

Trust me thats a tough thing to do... BUT the couch is soft... :hmm3grin2orange:


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## Wood Doctor (Dec 5, 2011)

*You know you heat with wood when...*

... the wife replenishes your kindling supply and keeps the fire going all day while you're at work.


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## 1project2many (Dec 5, 2011)

You know you heat with wood when you finally install security lighting and the first test is "Does it sense people near the woodpile?"

You know you heat with wood when you're happy to learn your 4 month old daughter doesn't respond to the TV but sits quietly watching the fire burn in the stove. Mum thinks I'm sacrificing something by feeding the fire and the baby at 1:00 am. I wonder how long I can get the brownie points before Mum realizes the baby and I both like napping in the warm chair.


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## an?qus (Dec 5, 2011)

*You know you heat with wood when...*

there's no place to sit in the den (where the stove is) because the cats have camped out in all the comfy seats already.



1project2many said:


> You know you heat with wood when you're happy to learn your 4 month old daughter doesn't respond to the TV but sits quietly watching the fire burn in the stove. Mum thinks I'm sacrificing something by feeding the fire and the baby at 1:00 am. I wonder how long I can get the brownie points before Mum realizes the baby and I both like napping in the warm chair.



SWEET! How long will you keep getting the brownie points AND the warm chair! Good luck with that!


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## Locust Cutter (Dec 6, 2011)

*You know you heat w/wood when,...*

When you've put off replacing the motorcycle you sold when the babies came along, in order to afford a a kinetic splitter to augment your hydraulic one and a large trailer to haul them and the wood on. Also when seriously debating the finer points of having a skidder tractor to your wife (and you live on the plains) and are able to make the business case for it! Now if I could just win the lottery,... I also need a 40'x60' Butler Bldg to keep all of this in.:msp_thumbup:


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## an?qus (Dec 6, 2011)

*You know you heat with wood when...*

.
I didn't notice this one, 1:


1project2many said:


> You know you heat with wood when you finally install security lighting and the first test is "Does it sense people near the woodpile?"



You know you heat with wood when...the electrician who wires your new addition puts outside lighting on the woodpile WITHOUT YOU EVEN ASKING! I saw him on the ladder and said, "What are you doing up there??" 'cuz there was no inside lighting anywhere near there. He goes, "You want to cover the woodpile, don't you??" We'd never even thought of it. We paid him with wood, so it turned out he was putting the light in FOR HIMSELF so's he could grab the wood after work!!






These are so funny! The more you read them, the more you identify with them!


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## ponyexpress976 (Dec 6, 2011)

anéqus said:


> ...you start to yell at your husband for checking out the cute chick across the street
> when you realize he's just eying the stand of fallen locust behind her!!



you got rep for that one...since my wife just did the same thing a few days ago


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## an?qus (Dec 6, 2011)

ponyexpress976 said:


> you got rep for that one...since my wife just did the same thing a few days ago



Thanks, PE! I'd rep myself for not really being that jealous, but the rest of it is true.
Repping you back, but better give it to your wood widow!


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## Wood Doctor (Dec 6, 2011)

*You know you heat with wood when...*

... your dog, who loves to curl up near the stove, walks with you out to the woodpile and makes sure that a new supply of firewood arrives inside the house safely.


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## cheeves (Dec 6, 2011)

Wood Doctor said:


> ... your dog, who loves to curl up near the stove, walks with you out to the woodpile and makes sure that a new supply of firewood arrives inside the house safely.



My cats do the same thing. They're not stupid!


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## Wood Doctor (Dec 7, 2011)

*You know you heat with wood when...*

... the next door neighbor notices that the size of your wood pile is going down a little while their heating bill is going up like gangbusters. :tongue2:


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## xrayman (Dec 7, 2011)

1project2many said:


> You know you heat with wood when you're happy to learn your 4 month old daughter doesn't respond to the TV but sits quietly watching the fire burn in the stove. Mum thinks I'm sacrificing something by feeding the fire and the baby at 1:00 am. I wonder how long I can get the brownie points before Mum realizes the baby and I both like napping in the warm chair.



Did that last night, our 3yr old woke up from a bad dream. Nothing beats cuddleing with my girls in front of the fire. I did the same thing when they were babies I took the nite feedings.


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## OH_Varmntr (Dec 7, 2011)

...when you open the cold water faucet and have to wait for the warm water to leave the pipes before you get the cold water you need. :msp_biggrin:


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## redneck51587 (Dec 7, 2011)

WoodHeatWarrior said:


> I thought I should give this organization stuff a try too. Here's my map:
> 
> 
> 
> ...




you forgot the pile of dog poo...


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## jhoff310 (Dec 7, 2011)

your goal in life is to have enough wood piled in various places in the backyard that you run out of grass to cut....thats what my son is hoping for anyway

you are going to train your next dog how to pull a kids sled full of wood thru the snow


Jeff


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## electiccottage (Dec 7, 2011)

When you wake up exhausted because you stayed up to see how well a new way of stacking would burn and you wanted to get an exact burn time so you didn't dare fall asleep and not know the exact timing of the sticks turning to just coals...


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## Sprintcar (Dec 7, 2011)

You know you heat with wood when;

You finally admit to yourself your father in law can make you look like a fool when he has a single bit ax and you have a maul and he splits twice as much, takes breaks and tells your wife of 30 years, that boy will never learn will he.

You walk into your small engine shop after a day of cutting and the people are five deep at the counter. You can sell three MS250's, couple Echos and two Toro snow blowers for the owner while just BSing with the folks waiting in line.

You stop by the Gas & Shop for coffee and the yuppies in the BMW pay $19.99 for ten little sticks of wood for their fireplace. As they drive away, you just smile.

You start stacking chainsaws on the hood of your 1968 Camaro.

You move the 1968 camaro to the barn so you can have room for more chainsaws and the splitter in the garage.

A good friend from Dike Iowa stops by and you talk McCullochs for five hours. Before he leaves you give him a complete model 47.

Last but not least, your wifes maiden name has Wood in it.

Have a great night, 19 pages of laughing my :censored: off.


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## russhd1997 (Dec 8, 2011)

Sprintcar said:


> You walk into your small engine shop after a day of cutting and the people are five deep at the counter. You can sell three MS250's, couple Echos and two Toro snow blowers for the owner while just BSing with the folks waiting in line.




I resemble that remark. The line was only 3 deep and I only talked one guy into buying a new Stihl to replace his Wild Thing. 

You know you heat with wood when all you want to do is cut wood in your spare time.

You photograph pics of your wood pile with your dog in the pic.


----------



## upsnake (Dec 8, 2011)

Sprintcar said:


> You start stacking chainsaws on the hood of your 1968 Camaro.
> 
> You move the 1968 camaro to the barn so you can have room for more chainsaws and the splitter in the garage.
> 
> .




Sorry but .  :msp_angry::mad2::bang::angry2::msp_cursing: 
haha ok i am done.


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## Somesawguy (Dec 8, 2011)

Sprintcar said:


> You walk into your small engine shop after a day of cutting and the people are five deep at the counter. You can sell three MS250's, couple Echos and two Toro snow blowers for the owner while just BSing with the folks waiting in line.



That sort of thing happens to me all the time and not just at small engine shops. I don't mind helping someone figure out what they need. So, it's not a bad thing, but amusing at times. 

My wife and I must look very friendly or something because random people start talking to us or start asking questions all the time. We call it the "phenomenon".


----------



## Garmins dad (Dec 8, 2011)

Sprintcar said:


> You start stacking chainsaws on the hood of your 1968 Camaro.
> 
> You move the 1968 camaro to the barn so you can have room for more chainsaws and the splitter in the garage.



:msp_angry::msp_unsure: Sounds to me like you don't love it so your car should go to a new home.. I don't see it in the for sale listings.. so what gives..  68 Camero... It should be treated better then that.. Sorry.. but come on.. I hope your just joken.. To top it all off i'm not a chevy guy (love my cudas)...


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## electiccottage (Dec 8, 2011)

upsnake said:


> Sorry but .  :msp_angry::mad2::bang::angry2::msp_cursing:
> haha ok i am done.



x2

And I'm a Ford chick.


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## 362Hickory (Dec 8, 2011)

electiccottage said:


> x2
> 
> And I'm a Ford chick.



X3 but Im a GM Guy


----------



## wat648 (Dec 8, 2011)

people stop by the house during the middle of July and ask what you are smoking in the little shed(OWB). You then you spend the next hour explaining all the advantages of heating your domestic water and heating the house using wood. 

It has been over a year since the gas line has even been hooked up to the furnace, because, why bother, I have wood cut!

The breaker to the water heater has never been turned on, since it is just a storage tank anyway.


----------



## an?qus (Dec 8, 2011)

*You know you heat with wood when...*



Sprintcar said:


> ...You stop by the Gas & Shop for coffee and the yuppies in the BMW pay $19.99 for ten little sticks of wood for their fireplace. As they drive away, you just smile.



...you see those little bundles of 4 or 5 splits at the (in our area) Cumberland Farms and start to see $$$ flash before your eyes... Hmmmm. Think of all the $$$ we could make! yet you'd never have the heart to rob those poor yuppies like that! How CAN those people sleep at night?



Sprintcar said:


> Have a great night, 19 pages of laughing my :censored: off.



Make it 20 and counting!


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## Steve NW WI (Dec 8, 2011)

anéqus said:


> you'd never have the heart to rob those poor yuppies like that! How CAN those people sleep at night?
> 
> 
> 
> Make it 20 and counting!



The heck I wouldn't! I can sleep quite well knowing they got what they wanted.


----------



## cheeves (Dec 8, 2011)

anéqus said:


> Tarps??
> 
> You know you heat with wood when you have a pile that looks like this
> and you feel a special relationship with every piece of wood in it...
> ...


I did this this afternoon. Was loading the wheelbarrow with a load when recognized a piece of wood I had split last spring.


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## rottiman (Dec 8, 2011)

YOU KNOW YOU ARE A WOOD FREAK WHEN:

You stand there gawking @ a standing tree, cipering out how many stove loads it is going to convert to.


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## Wood Doctor (Dec 8, 2011)

*You know you heat with wood when...*

... the wife is worried that a few snowflakes will dampen the firewood in the woodpile and asks you to bring in more logs so that SHE can dry them out a little before loading them into the stove. :msp_tongue:


----------



## Gavman (Dec 8, 2011)

Riding around today with my structural engineer, (him driving) looked at almost 1 million dollars worth of work for the springtime, spotted a 5inch log about 4 feet long on the roadside and wished I was in my pick-up by myself so I could stop and snag that puppy... still thinking about it for some reason:smile2:


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## Dons kids (Dec 9, 2011)

*You know you heat with wood when...*

Kids play king of the mountain on your wood pile cause it is the the biggest hill in the neighborhood, your wife is sewing your pants again cause you just couldn't leave that last 300 pound round of oak that you didn't have time to split on the side of the road, but had just enough time to sumo deadlift it into the back of your truck. Your truck bed touches the cab of your truck, when same 300 pound round, you didn't think would move, picks up speed like the US Bobsled Team on your bedliner when the jerk in front of slams his brakes on for no reason. Kids look like old time wrestler "Polish Power" Ivan Putski from carring and loading firewood. You lose your lunch break at work cause you know the wood you saw on the side of the road while you where working, won't be there when you are done with work. When people look inside your truck they wonder if you are that guy from the Hitch Hiker movie or part of the Chainsaw Massacre clan cause of all the axes, mauls, and chainsaws in your cab. You keep an ax in your gun rack. Kids think the house got buzzed by a low flying airplane if the furnace comes on cause they are not use to hearing it. You have a 30 year old furnace in your house cause it is not used much. You automatically wake up in the middle of the night if furnce comes on, and can't get back to sleep till fire is restarted and stocked for the night. You get mad when you search the word "chainsaw" on eaby there are so many people selling Chainsaw Massacre junk.


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## Dons kids (Dec 9, 2011)

*You know you heat with wood when...*

People think you lifted your truck for looks, you know it was the best way to put the heavier springs on, better clearance, heavier loads of wood, and the ability to get to some rough areas. Wife wants you to shop vac the wood chips out of the mini van from the wood you just couldn't pass up. You choose trees to plant on your property by what you like to burn, cause you know someday they are just going to get too big. "Honey I think a nice red oak would look great here, I hear they are great for shade."


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## an?qus (Dec 9, 2011)

Gavman said:


> Riding around today with my structural engineer, (him driving) looked at almost 1 million dollars worth of work for the springtime, spotted a 5inch log about 4 feet long on the roadside and wished I was in my pick-up by myself so I could stop and snag that puppy... still thinking about it for some reason:smile2:



You know you heat with wood when you can't let your husband drive because he's not watching the road...you guessed it! He's looking at the downed trees along the way!

You know you heat with wood when you can't have a car in the family...trucks only!!


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## an?qus (Dec 9, 2011)

Dons kids said:


> People think you lifted your truck for looks, you know it was the best way to put the heavier springs on, better clearance, heavier loads of wood, and the ability to get to some rough areas. Wife wants you to shop vac the wood chips out of the mini van from the wood you just couldn't pass up. You choose trees to plant on your property by what you like to burn, cause you know someday they are just going to get too big. "Honey I think a nice red oak would look great here, I hear they are great for shade."



You know you heat with wood when your truck is in the shop getting new leaf springs right now


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## cheeves (Dec 9, 2011)

Gavman said:


> Riding around today with my structural engineer, (him driving) looked at almost 1 million dollars worth of work for the springtime, spotted a 5inch log about 4 feet long on the roadside and wished I was in my pick-up by myself so I could stop and snag that puppy... still thinking about it for some reason:smile2:



There is a section of a about 3 acres near the Lowell exit off I 93 that is nothing but dead standing trees. Looks like swamp maple. Every time we drive by I fantasize about having some time in there with my nmurph built Whamma Jamma 79cc Makita!!! :smile2:


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## benp (Dec 9, 2011)

There are multiple holes in the snowbanks piled up by the boiler that resemble someone plunging their "lit" arm into it. 

Look close enough, and you might find a hole that has the side of a face imprinted above it.


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## an?qus (Dec 9, 2011)

benp said:


> There are multiple holes in the snowbanks piled up by the boiler that resemble someone plunging their "lit" arm into it.
> 
> Look close enough, and you might find a hole that has the side of a face imprinted above it.



Ouch!! That's when you know you're LITERALLY getting heated with wood!


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## 1project2many (Dec 9, 2011)

> There is a section of a about 3 acres near the Lowell exit off I 93 that is nothing but dead standing trees. Looks like swamp maple. Every time we drive by I fantasize about having some time in there with my nmurph built Whamma Jamma 79cc Makita!!!



You know you heat with wood when you've considered buying an old orange and black state truck and an orange safety vest so you can grab wood along the highway without anyone looking twice.


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## CrappieKeith (Dec 9, 2011)

Whitespider said:


> Actually *logbutcher* is technically correct, the *mean annual* temperature for Maine is 7[sup]o[/sup] colder than Iowa (Maine = 41[sup]o[/sup], Iowa = 48[sup]o[/sup]). *BUT*, it ain’t so much ‘cause Maine has colder winters… rather it has very cool summers when compared to Iowa. Because of these (relatively) cool summers Maine gets ranked as the third coldest stated while Iowa is ranked fifteenth when comparing *mean annual* temperature.
> 
> Most other “cold winter” states (especially those in the interior) will see summer temperatures in excess of 90[sup]o[/sup] for several days each year, and many see over 100[sup]o[/sup] for at least a handful of days. The average summer high temperature in Maine is 64[sup]o[/sup], the average summer low temperature in Iowa is 65[sup]o[/sup]. Get it? During the summer, our average overnight lows are warmer than Maine’s average midday highs. It is possible for Maine to see frost 10 months of the year… the only other state that can claim that is Alaska.
> 
> ...



In the lower 48 states though, which state is the coldest depends upon the time of year. North Dakota tops the list of coldest states in winter and fall, based on state-wide average temperatures. During spring, Maine is coldest, while in summer it's Wyoming.
Some states are among the ten coldest states year round. Consistently cold throughout the year are Maine, Vermont, Montana and Wyoming.
Other states make the list of ten coldest in every season but summer. Wisconsin, Minnesota and North Dakota are states that get a break in summer from ranking in the ten coldest.
It is because Minnesota and North Dakota get so exceptionally cold in winter, that they place just behind Alaska for the lowest annual average temperature. The north-central states have temperatures in December and January that average about six degrees Fahrenheit (3 °C) below those of the next chilliest states.


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## Wood Doctor (Dec 9, 2011)

*You know you heat with wood when...*

... you read CrappieKeith's post word for word. Good show!

However, average temperature is only one dimension of coldness. You also have to factor in wind chill, precipitation, cloud cover, and even the terrain. I suppose that's why the discomfort index was concocted.

Regardless, take a look at the population density of North Dakota. That just about says it all. :msp_razz:


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## CrappieKeith (Dec 9, 2011)

Wood Doctor said:


> ... you read CrappieKeith's post word for word. Good show!
> 
> However, average temperature is only one dimension of coldness. You also have to factor in wind chill, precipitation, cloud cover, and even the terrain. I suppose that's why the discomfort index was concocted.
> 
> Regardless, take a look at the population density of North Dakota. That just about says it all. :msp_razz:



Do you know why it is soooo windy in Mn......No Dak blows and Wisconi sucks....bahahahahahahahaha!

sorry guys...here's one on me....
Why do the Mn. Vikings have purple jerseys...cause you'd be purple too if you had choked for 30 years.


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## Job Corps Tree (Dec 9, 2011)

*You know you heat with wood when*

May have been said but wood will warm you Three times, when you cut it, when you split it, and when you burn it. most of these saying go with any Tree Person


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## Ohioguychris (Dec 9, 2011)

.....you use a beer coozie to keep your beer *from *freezing.


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## russhd1997 (Dec 9, 2011)

1project2many said:


> You know you heat with wood when you've considered buying an old orange and black state truck and an orange safety vest so you can grab wood along the highway without anyone looking twice.



Does that old state truck come with a couple of workers with shovels to lean on? :biggrin:


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## Ohioguychris (Dec 9, 2011)

*You know you heat with wood when....*

You have cooked baked potatoes in their fireplace??? Or is it just me? :biggrin:


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## 1project2many (Dec 10, 2011)

> Does that old state truck come with a couple of workers with shovels to lean on?



If those shovels have wooden handles they're liable to get stacked right up with the firewood. Those workers can find something a little less valuable to lean on.


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## ponyexpress976 (Dec 10, 2011)

Job Corps Tree said:


> May have been said but wood will warm you Three times, when you cut it, when you split it, and when you burn it. most of these saying go with any Tree Person



when you load it into the truck to bring it home. 

and when you stack it.

and when you move it from stack to house. 

My wood warms me at least 6 times.


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## Steve NW WI (Dec 10, 2011)

...Buying a bottle of Aleve has a direct impact on your heating cost.

...You wonder if beer is an allowable deduction on your taxes under "heating expenses".


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## ponyexpress976 (Dec 10, 2011)

Steve NW WI said:


> ...Buying a bottle of Aleve has a direct impact on your heating cost.
> 
> ...You wonder if beer is an allowable deduction on your taxes under "heating expenses".



No, you can't write it off under heating...but the aleve and beer get counted as medical expenditures. I find that they fit well in either pain management or mental health.


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## wdchuck (Dec 10, 2011)

You're a diehard when the cold weather creates that 40lb block of ice feeling in your chest and you keep plugging along with transferring it from outdoors to the basement via a hole in the wall.


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## wdchuck (Dec 10, 2011)

Steve NW WI said:


> ...Buying a bottle of Aleve has a direct impact on your heating cost.
> 
> ...You wonder if beer is an allowable deduction on your taxes under "heating expenses".



I thought beer was in the entertainment column and congac was under medicinal needs column.


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## 603doug (Dec 10, 2011)

when you buy paper logs for the "wife's" decorative glass front wood stove because cutting any wood less than 20 inches is a waste


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## Steve NW WI (Dec 10, 2011)

wdchuck said:


> You're a diehard when the cold weather creates that 40lb block of ice feeling in your chest and you keep plugging along with transferring it from outdoors to the basement via a hole in the wall.


Cmon now Mike, it only got down to 3 here last night, must be colder down there in deep south WI!



wdchuck said:


> I thought beer was in the entertainment column and congac was under medicinal needs column.


Cognac? Sounds spendy, must be medicine. If I'm feeling like splurging, it's a $25 bottle of "good" vodka.

Gotta run, lots of chains to sharpen tonight. Had a chain changing marathon in the woods today, I think I mislabeled my "sharp" and "dull" boxes, took 4 chains on the 5100 to find a good one. MUST get a better system!


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## benp (Dec 10, 2011)

Steve NW WI said:


> Cmon now Mike, it only got down to 3 here last night, must be colder down there in deep south WI!
> 
> 
> Cognac? Sounds spendy, must be medicine. If I'm feeling like splurging, it's a $25 bottle of "good" vodka.
> ...



If I am going to be sharpening quite a few chains at one sitting, I mark the chain when I am done with one of those little display tags (cardboard tag, string loop) that it's sharp. 

So, all of the sharpened chains have tags on them. Those in need of sharpening do not.


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## Dons kids (Dec 10, 2011)

*You know you heat with wood when...*

You get so many splinters in your hand that the doctor says your blood type is Oak negative, Oak negative.


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## cheeves (Dec 10, 2011)

ponyexpress976 said:


> No, you can't write it off under heating...but the aleve and beer get counted as medical expenditures. I find that they fit well in either pain management or mental health.



I'm in real pain management. DEA just got involved. Have to see the Dr. once a month now. Before it was once a year. Been seeing the same Dr. since 1976. The longest of anyone of his patients. Almost like a father now.


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## Wood Doctor (Dec 10, 2011)

*You know you heat with wood when...*

... you welcome north winds and high pressure centers because that means the woodstove will burn hotter and supply more heat to the house. :msp_smile:


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## MNfarmer (Dec 11, 2011)

You have cut and split a load of firewood under a full moon on a clear night in Feb. just because!!


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## promac850 (Dec 11, 2011)

...you love the idea of firing up a big yellow saw to make noodles and chips...

and when you think lifting big chunks of maple onto the splitter bed is good exercise... (it is!!)

and when you love going outside of the house to smell the wood being burned... apple wood is nice... piss elm not quite so... :hmm3grin2orange:


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## scottb (Dec 11, 2011)

Steve NW WI said:


> ...Buying a bottle of Aleve has a direct impact on your heating cost.
> 
> ...You wonder if beer is an allowable deduction on your taxes under "heating expenses".



My accountant told me that beer went under entertainment or labor. But my receipts were too excessive to use.


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## djones (Dec 11, 2011)

*you know you heat with wood when*

you find bar oil on sale at tractor supply and put it on your Christmas list.

your work gloves have creosote drippings on them

the glow from your chimney lights up the backyard

you pray for wind from the west so your neighbors on the north side don't b***h

1" sapplings are no longer ground up in the chipper


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## woodbooga (Dec 11, 2011)

Wood Doctor said:


> ... you welcome north winds and high pressure centers because that means the woodstove will burn hotter and supply more heat to the house. :msp_smile:



No kidding!

I've been cutting sead pine to have fast burning wood during these unnatural warm temps. Did the same lat 2 years. Even hitting the wood pile I been shuttling off my good oak and maple hoping against hope to find punkey pieces to feed a stove during increasingly warmer winter onsets.

We finally seem to be entering a cycle we should have been in in central NH a week before Thanksgiving.

So I guess the takeaway here is, you know you heat with wood when you have to rejigger the pile and recut fast btus to comply with shifting warming trends.


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## promac850 (Dec 11, 2011)

woodbooga, why don't you got no avatar?

Go find an avatar before you get bunned for not having an avatar... 

I gots Darin on speed dial... if you don't get it up by the time I visit here tomorrow, I'll have him can yer azz... 


No, not really, but at least put an avatar back up for us to see.


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## woodbooga (Dec 11, 2011)

promac610 said:


> woodbooga, why don't you got no avatar?
> 
> Go find an avatar before you get bunned for not having an avatar...
> 
> ...



LOL! Been a few weeks since stopping in to say hello.

Reckon you know u heat with wood when you have no time between work and cutting to stop in to AS and they revoke avatar privilges:hmm3grin2orange:


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## whatscooking (Dec 12, 2011)

*You know you heat with wood\collect chainsaws when*

You drive by a place you have spotted that you are sure they must have an old saw or two they might sell since there is so much STUFF in the yard and falling down barns.


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## Somesawguy (Dec 12, 2011)

When you have wood you planned on cutting, and splitting, but couldn't refuse spending a Saturday cutting some more "free" wood. :msp_unsure:


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## cnice_37 (Dec 12, 2011)

Dons kids said:


> You get so many splinters in your hand that the doctor says your blood type is Oak negative, Oak negative.



Where's the damn boo button?


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## Wood Doctor (Dec 12, 2011)

*You know you heat with wood when...*

... a path forms between your house and the woodpile because the wheelbarrow has rolled on the turf a few times and the squirrels have used the path for a playground.
:biggrinbounce2:


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## GrizzlyAdams86 (Dec 12, 2011)

Your truck cab, in particluar the storage shelf (back seat), has almost as much sawdust/bark as the box does.
You can figure out off the top of your head how many truckloads it will take to to fill a row for someone you help cut wood for.
You can guess how many truckloads tree tops left over from logging are.
You can fill a grocery bag with gloves from your truck that have holes worn in 2 or more fingers.
You practaly have VIP status at the local saw shop.
You go to the saw shop just to look at the used saws and bs with the owner, even when you don't really need to go there for anything.
You go deer hunting in a woods that has been logged and spend more time figuring out a plan of how to process all the wood rather than think about hunting.
You become freinds with someone who heats with a OWB, and become even better friends when they get a M35A2 as a firewood truck.
You watch 6" and smaller dia. oak, elm, ash, cherry and maple getting fed into a chipper and think "what a waste".


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## an?qus (Dec 12, 2011)

MNfarmer said:


> You have cut and split a load of firewood under a full moon on a clear night in Feb. just because!!



Sounds romantic  !


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## 1project2many (Dec 13, 2011)

When the cat is too warm to be cool.


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## chopperfreak2k1 (Dec 13, 2011)

cnice_37 said:


> Where's the damn boo button?



aww, come on! i thought it was good... ish



anéqus said:


> Sounds romantic  !



you're too much!!!



1project2many said:


> When the cat is too warm to be cool.
> 
> 
> 
> ...



hey, hey, hey! we're dog people


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## hanniedog (Dec 13, 2011)

When you think about how much it costs in propane to be gone for a few days and not use the wood burner.


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## an?qus (Dec 13, 2011)

You know you heat with wood when...



hanniedog said:


> When you think about how much it costs in propane



.natural gas


hanniedog said:


> to be gone for a few days and not use the wood burner.



.

...and cringe!! 
.
$15 a month _just to keep the pilot going_...last time we checked. That was before the rates went up!


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## GrizzlyAdams86 (Dec 13, 2011)

A few more:

The township/county shop has you on speed dial when they remove trees in the right of way.
You know the new and/or used saw inventory at the local shop by heart.
You know the average shelf life of a used saw by model at the local shop. (ex.: 044/440 sells under 1 week, rarely 2)
You get free biology lessons from nature about all of the fun critters, such as the ground hornets living right under the 3 yr old oak blowdown, and finding out what a milk snake is after find one inside of the rounds as split them, etc.
You wonder why someone would ever pass on piles of cull logs/butt cuts that you eventully get 10+ truckloads from, even though you had to hack through 5 ft high stinging nettles to get to it, find snakes the fun way in the pile, and get this stuck and wraped around twice in one of the knuckles on the front drive shaft of your 4-wheeler:






and have to borrow a power inverter to use a dremel tool to cut it out in the dark after driving your truck as close as you dare to the 4-wheeler.
You consider an old manure spreader an excellent wood trailer.


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## Dons kids (Dec 18, 2011)

Neighbors think you are training for the olympic shot put team when they see you throwing wood to the top of your pile. You have years of newspapers and old bills piling up in a box cause you always want to be prepared to start a fire. (Very little is ever used cause the fire never goes out)You think high heat black paint, fire starting squares, wedges, chains, sparkplugs, and screnches make great stocking stufffers. Kids can't hang their stockings on the mantle cause the chocolate turns into little tinfoil blobs. Need to water the fresh Christmas tree three times a day cause the woodburner is sucking all the water out of the room. Your the only house on the the block Santa takes his coat off before he comes down the chimney. You know you can put away your chimney brush and poles after December 25th cause Santa knocks down all the soot. Reindeer stop to take a break on your roof to warm up. Santa has to knock on your front door cause the heat from the chimney is too much to handle. Merry Christmas!!!


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## Dons kids (Dec 18, 2011)

You don't mind when Santa brings coal, you just hope he brings a few tons to get you through winter.


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## Wood Doctor (Dec 18, 2011)

*Coal?*



Dons kids said:


> You don't mind when Santa brings coal, you just hope he brings a few tons to get you through winter.


You like shoveling coal rather collecting and burning wood? Interesting. I suppose we could start a coal thread. Dad used to shovel and burn it back in '49 and '50.

Nearest coal mines to me are in Wyoming and Colorado. On the other hand, dead or dying trees are everywhere.


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## Dons kids (Dec 18, 2011)

I burn a few five gallon bucks a year, only at night when I don't think I am going to up in time time to reload the stove and don't want it to go out. I throw a few lumps in on very cold nights, just for a little extra insurance that I will have some coals for a restart if needed. I burn wood 99.9% of the time, just said it for the ha ha effect cause unfortunately Santa don't bring wood.


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## Wood Doctor (Dec 19, 2011)

*Santa does bring wood heat*



Dons kids said:


> I burn a few five gallon bucks a year, only at night when I don't think I am going to up in time time to reload the stove and don't want it to go out. I throw a few lumps in on very cold nights, just for a little extra insurance that I will have some coals for a restart if needed. I burn wood 99.9% of the time, just said it for the ha ha effect cause unfortunately Santa don't bring wood.


On the contrary, I'm Santa Claus to several of my best customers and friends. I drop off about three wheel barrows full of wood to them right before Christmas and charge them nothing. That means that I do it now.

Usually the lady of the house gives me a big hug, a smile, and says "Thanks". That's all that I need.


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## fubar2 (Dec 20, 2011)

They film a fake moon landing in what was at one time your woods.


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## chopperfreak2k1 (Dec 20, 2011)

Wood Doctor said:


> Usually the lady of the house gives me a big hug, a smile, and says "Thanks". That's all that I need.



pervert!! LOL


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## boilerwood (Dec 20, 2011)

You have more pictures in your phone of wood you've cut than pictures of your kids. (me)


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## russhd1997 (Dec 20, 2011)

boilerwood said:


> You have more pictures in your phone of wood you've cut than pictures of your kids. (me)



Like These...


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## OH_Varmntr (Dec 20, 2011)

...you've improved the water drainage in your backyard because the tracks that you're fully loaded diesel truck and wood trailer (~15,000lbs) made comes from the woods, which also happens to be the low ground.

...it's 80* in your living room and you get a little chill when you walk into the back room that's _only_ 70ish.

...you spent about an hour splitting kindling only to come home in the morning after work to find a cold wood burner and your entire kindling stash gone because your beautiful newlywed wife couldn't get a fire going because she used wood off the wrong pile. Hey, she's learning 

...when getting the word out about family Christmas plans includes the phrase "dress lightly".


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## djones (Dec 20, 2011)

*You know you're heating with wood when.....*

you have splitting mauls in each outbuilding
you have more than a dozen saws
your wood splitter has 2 ft chip piles around it
the doctor looks at you and asks, " Are you smoking again ??"
Your wife asks,"Can you see through those glasses ??"
You think you have tinitis but it's just the hum from the OWB circulator.
:hmm3grin2orange::hmm3grin2orange::smile2:


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## olyman (Dec 21, 2011)

djones said:


> you have splitting mauls in each outbuilding
> you have more than a dozen saws
> your wood splitter has 2 ft chip piles around it
> the doctor looks at you and asks, " Are you smoking again ??"
> ...



tinninitis. more than a dozen??? your right,,and most on here,,started with one saw,,then the cad hit!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


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## Somesawguy (Dec 21, 2011)

When you're slowly making your way to work over ice covered roads, and you still seem to notice all the blowdowns near the side of the road. :hmm3grin2orange:


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## 1project2many (Dec 21, 2011)

... when you've got the family looking for old splitting wedges at swap meets and flea markets 'cause that new Chinese steel just doesn't last as long.

... when your wife says she tried to find laundry detergent with "fresh wood smoke" scent because anything else is just wasted during the winter.

... when you stop by to visit the home where you grew up and keep remarking about how much more firewood is around the property than you remembered.

... when you gladly bust up a few pieces of apple wood by hand just to sucker the "tough guy" BIL from the city into giving it a shot, then spend the next two days of his visit saying "It's not as easy as splitting Apple" any time a job needs to be done.


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## jerrycmorrow (Dec 21, 2011)

1project2many said:


> ... when you gladly bust up a few pieces of apple wood by hand just to sucker the "tough guy" BIL from the city into giving it a shot, then spend the next two days of his visit saying "It's not as easy as splitting Apple" any time a job needs to be done.



sounds like you had a good time. its always fun handing someone the splitting maul and then watching them try to split something. i personally like to give them some sassafras to try to split. then when they give up i tell them i always do it with the motorized splitter. ha


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## highrisen (Dec 21, 2011)

boilerwood said:


> You have more pictures in your phone of wood you've cut than pictures of your kids. (me)



HAH! was just sendin pic mails yesterday!


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## sawkid15 (Dec 23, 2011)

*wood*

when the family goes to dinner and you ustay home to feed the fire


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## chopperfreak2k1 (Dec 23, 2011)

1project2many said:


> ... when your wife says she tried to find laundry detergent with "fresh wood smoke" scent because anything else is just wasted during the winter..



this one had me rollin'!!! :msp_lol:

tried to rep ya but i gotta wait


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## Wood Doctor (Dec 24, 2011)

*Kindling...*

... You bring 50 lb of kindling packed in a box to an old friend who heats with wood. He tells you that's the best Christmas gift he received this year. Hmmm...


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## Garmins dad (Dec 24, 2011)

Your dissapointed to not see any saw shop receipts on the bank statement... :msp_mad:


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## GrizzlyAdams86 (Dec 25, 2011)

You can eyeball how many optiomal length rounds you can get from a log.
You then eyeball how many pieces of split wood you can get from 1 of those rounds.
You can figure out off the top of your head how many of those rounds you need to split to make a truckload.
Your maul/fiskars SS has split more wood than your hydralic splitter. 
You go to the saw shop christmas eve day for no other reason other than to shoot the breeze with the owner and tell them merry christmas.

Merry Christmas folks.


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## Steve NW WI (Dec 25, 2011)

GrizzlyAdams86 said:


> You go to the saw shop christmas eve day for no other reason other than to shoot the breeze with the owner and tell them merry christmas.
> 
> Merry Christmas folks.



Did that! Actually did need a couple chains for the little saw, but I spent more time shooting the breeze and checking out his reorganization, complete with a "shelf queen" shelf along a whole wall. His quote of the day, after giving me the "cash and carry" price on chains, "We don't want ya going to Bailey's on us!"


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## Steve NW WI (Dec 28, 2011)

You get home from work, at midnight, decide it's nice out and a bit too warm in the house, so you spend the next hour carrying wood down to the basement from the woodshed.

AS bonus: You get the tape measure out to get an accurate cordage to report to the boys and gals on AS: .39 cords, give or take. That's about all I like to do in a day with the stairs. Used to have a steel chute I threw in the window, but too messy. This gives me some excersise, needed to get rid of the 10lbs I've put on between quitting smoking and holiday eating.

I hope to have the basement full before long, I've got room for maybe a cord and a half more right now. Full, it will give me 2+ months of midwinter burning without opening the back door when it's -30. What I brought in tonight is good for about 2 cold weeks, maybe a month if it stays as warm as it has so far.


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## benp (Dec 28, 2011)

GrizzlyAdams86 said:


> You go to the saw shop christmas eve day for no other reason other than to shoot the breeze with the owner and tell them merry christmas.
> 
> Merry Christmas folks.





Steve NW WI said:


> Did that! Actually did need a couple chains for the little saw, but I spent more time shooting the breeze and checking out his reorganization, complete with a "shelf queen" shelf along a whole wall. His quote of the day, after giving me the "cash and carry" price on chains, "We don't want ya going to Bailey's on us!"



Count another in on visiting the saw shop on Christmas Eve. :smile2:

I picked up a 24" .058 bar for a screaming deal because I found out my dealer had a alot of bulk .058 chipper chain. I went in Christmas Eve have him make a few loops when he informed me he also has a bunch of .058 full chisel also. :msp_thumbsup:

Life is good. I will be in chains for a loooong while.


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## olyman (Dec 28, 2011)

benp said:


> Count another in on visiting the saw shop on Christmas Eve. :smile2:
> 
> I picked up a 24" .058 bar for a screaming deal because I found out my dealer had a alot of bulk .058 chipper chain. I went in Christmas Eve have him make a few loops when he informed me he also has a bunch of .058 full chisel also. :msp_thumbsup:
> 
> Life is good. I will be in chains for a loooong while.



what was the price on that 24 inch 058 bar??


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## benp (Dec 28, 2011)

olyman said:


> what was the price on that 24 inch 058 bar??



Olyman, 

I sent you a pm.:msp_thumbsup:


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## alleyyooper (Dec 28, 2011)

You walk in the house and it is 110F.

wife is nearly nakid and all the windows are open and the patio door.

wife has a bum foot from trying to get wood from the stack behind the furnace in her bare feet.

wife had stuffed the furnace full and left the damper and draft open. shes doen it several times.

There are more pots and kettles on the wood burner than the kitchen range.

wife yelling about all the wood chips floating in the washer.

wife yelling about stubbing her toe on a wood splinter in the carpet. I don't know how it got there, probably the cat.

 Al


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## Kingsley (Dec 28, 2011)

*You know you heat with wood when...*

you know exactly how much it costs to replace the rear glass in your pick-up.


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## beerman6 (Dec 28, 2011)

oops.


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## 1project2many (Dec 28, 2011)

Kingsley said:


> you know exactly how much it costs to replace the rear glass in your pick-up.



... and for some reason the price is lower than the last few times you did it.


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## benp (Dec 28, 2011)

alleyyooper said:


> You walk in the house and it is 110F.
> 
> * wife is nearly nakid and all the windows are open and the patio door.
> 
> ...



You say this like it's a bad thing. In her skivvies and can't run away.....whats not to love.:msp_thumbsup:


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## woodsryder (Dec 28, 2011)

You walk around with sawdust in your tennis shoes....


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## ChainsawmanXX (Dec 28, 2011)

you smack your uncle up the side of the head cause he says "its to much work to heat with wood"
You are watching the same show your girlfriend is at diffrent houses and you see a chainsaw on that show and she texts you asking... "you just screamed chainsaw didnt you?" 
Your neighbors get mad cause you start your saw "just to hear it run."
Your thinking of wood when your around girls (get your mind out of the gutter haha) 
The smell of wood turns your girlfriend on  

Sent from my LS670 using Tapatalk


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## jhoff310 (Dec 28, 2011)

While at the grind, err I mean the 9-5 you go outside for a minute and hear a chainsaw in the distance, and think I wonder what kind of tree they are dropping and if I can get over there after work and grab a load of wood....Today's case with me

You have ever emailed your stove manfacturer and praised them for cutting you heating bills

Jeff


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## crzybowhntr (Dec 28, 2011)

Constrictor said:


> ..., got wood and use it daily.



Wish this was something I had trouble with!! :hmm3grin2orange:


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## woodbooga (Dec 29, 2011)

Just opened the oven door of the cookstove and am at my laptop in front of the stove...passing thought on the bursting/boiling point of plasma


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## alleyyooper (Dec 29, 2011)

*wife is nearly nakid and all the windows are open and the patio door.*

Chasing her is an excesize in frustration. When it is over 85f she will use the fire extingure on you to put out your fire.

 Al


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## benp (Dec 29, 2011)

alleyyooper said:


> *wife is nearly nakid and all the windows are open and the patio door.*
> 
> Chasing her is an excesize in frustration. When it is over 85f she will use the fire extingure on you to put out your fire.
> 
> Al




Feisty too.....sounds like you have yourself a good one.:msp_thumbup:


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## Gavman (Dec 29, 2011)

alleyyooper said:


> *wife is nearly nakid and all the windows are open and the patio door.*
> 
> Chasing her is an excesize in frustration. When it is over 85f she will use the fire extingure on you to put out your fire.
> 
> Al



Ahh just wait till she gets older, eventually she"ll slow down:hmm3grin2orange:


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## Whitespider (Dec 29, 2011)

alleyyooper said:


> *wife is nearly nakid and all the windows are open and the patio door.
> Chasing her is an excesize in frustration. When it is over 85f she will use the fire extingure on you to put out your fire.*



Hey, you know the rules here on AS... if there ain't pictures, it never happened. :hmm3grin2orange:


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## Sprintcar (Dec 29, 2011)

You base a used tractor on how big a log you can skid with it.
It it ain't got a scoop on the front, ain't interested.
Cabs, cabs, just another window to get busted out, kinda like the rear window on the wood truck.


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## Steve NW WI (Dec 29, 2011)

Sprintcar said:


> You base a used tractor on how big a log you can skid with it.
> It it ain't got a scoop on the front, ain't interested.
> Cabs, cabs, just another window to get busted out, kinda like the rear window on the wood truck.



Been thinking about a cab tractor. One selling point is how easy the windows are to remove for wood work!


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## CTYank (Dec 29, 2011)

When your flower beds are mulched deep with saw-chips & noodles. Really deep.


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## alleyyooper (Dec 30, 2011)

When she gets older she will still carry and use the fire extingure. Beisdes I'll be way older to so won't be able to walk as fast as I do now.

 Al


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## bowtechmadman (Dec 30, 2011)

When the back window of your wood truck is covered w/ a plywood.


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## Dons kids (Dec 30, 2011)

You go to the local carnival with the kids and win all the prizes at the High striker/Ring the Bell game cause of all the years of splitting, swinging mauls and axes.


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## cantoo (Dec 30, 2011)

You know you burn wood when you are driving down the road and turn your head to look at a neighbours wood setup and fail to realize you have crossed the road into oncoming traffic, 18 wheeler heading for a load of salt. I sweared back and still had time for a quick look in the rearview mirror and noticed that he wasn't using his conveyor, wonder if he wants to sell it? He has a nice setup and recently starting buying loads of logs so maybe he isn't using the conveyor or better yet broke it and it'll be cheap.


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## Steve NW WI (Dec 31, 2011)

Steve NW WI said:


> When you keep a box full of wood in the pickup in the eventuality that someone will call wanting to haul something, and you can make them help unload it. Worked for me today!



I'm tellin ya, this trick just flat works! Today a couple buddies stopped in to pick up their ice shack from my place. I had a load of oak on the truck. Told em I'd help catch some fish later if they helped get the truck empty. 1/2 cord in 40 minutes - they've done this with me before.

Now I gotta go refill the truck in case someone else stops by - be prepared!

(Actually it's about 50/50 if the truck is loaded or not, normally cut one day, split the next.)


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## PEKS (Dec 31, 2011)

You know you heat with wood when..
Your wife says she's is going to the Mall and you follow her.. 
_(thinking she meant the shed)_


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## woodbooga (Jan 1, 2012)

I've been at a few high-level meetings where I've picked bits of bark and oak punkfluff off from my shirt or sportsjackecket, having brought in a few armloads. If its an internal meeting, I just pickem off in a little pile. Colleagues know to call this kindling. A little more difficult with external clients. Esp. folks from CA, TX, FL, etc.


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## JRepairsK70e (Jan 1, 2012)

when you check your coat pockets and find enough chips to start a small fire,some of mine are seasoned at least 2 yrs [we dunt need no stinkin dryer lint mang ]


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## justchecknjr (Jan 16, 2012)

*you know you heat with wood when...*

you use the kids radio flyer to bring wood in

the shop vac stays by the fireplace

you build a rack in the living room to hold a face cord

keep boards to make the run way into your house on the deck 

View attachment 217946


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## firewood guy (Jan 17, 2012)

if your saws are cleaner than the shop bathroom???


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## GrizzlyAdams86 (Jan 17, 2012)

The contents of the box of your truck this time of year are:
-2 or more saws
-tool box w/ extra chains, tools, files, etc.
-milk crate w/ gas, bar oil, hatchet, felling and splitting wedges
-Fiskars SS
-scoop shovel
-3 20'-ish ft. chains
-a bunch of empty 2-stroke oil containers
-a bunch of empty pop cans
-and 3-ish in. of frozen bark you were going to shovel out in the fall but kept putting it off until it was too late.


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## Steve NW WI (Jan 18, 2012)

Grizz, you're slacking. I shoveled mine out in November, and it's back to 3" or so already.

Your "this time of year" comment worries me. You mean there's a time of year those things AREN'T in the truck?

PS - No scoop shovel here, a 5 tine pitchfork rides shotgun if I'm gonna burn brush though.


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## GrizzlyAdams86 (Jan 18, 2012)

Steve NW WI said:


> Grizz, you're slacking. I shoveled mine out in November, and it's back to 3" or so already.
> 
> Your "this time of year" comment worries me. You mean there's a time of year those things AREN'T in the truck?
> 
> PS - No scoop shovel here, a 5 tine pitchfork rides shotgun if I'm gonna burn brush though.



I tried to get rid of the bark buildup in oct. at a bonfire but it was puting the fire out (holds mosture real well) so I had to shovel it into the weeds. Then in Nov. after I procrastinated and we had a cold spell I scraped and chiseled out what I could. As to "this time of year", usually hardly a day goes by when the saws are not in the back in the fall, winter or spring. Not much cutting goes on in the summer, depends how hot it gets. The scoop shovel goes in the truck in late Oct. and does not leave until April tradtionaly. Has gotten me out of a few snow drifts in the woods. But it also does work for cleaning bark out of the box.


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## benp (Jan 21, 2012)

A lot of your gloves look like this....







The other morning I had on a BRAND NEW pair of deer skin insulated Kincos. I mean che sweet, going out on a date gloves.

FIRST LOG that I threw in wearing my new gloves took the right hand with it when I chucked that piece of maple in. On the bottom of the log, in the red hot coal bed, over 2 feet back into the stove. 

I....was......so......mad...

(peanut gallery)How mad were you?(peanut gallery)

I was so mad that I threw the other glove into the stove amidst a woven tapestry of expletives. 

That'll teach those gloves.....:bang:


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## Dons kids (Jan 21, 2012)

You fall asleep in the room where you have your woodburner. In the middle of the night, you stock the firebox and fill the water pot on top of the stove. Tap dancing at the sink, and at the stove as you pour the water into the pot, cause you should of hit the bathroom first.


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## howellhandmade (Jan 21, 2012)

*You know you heat with wood*

when your wood stacks are easier to see than your house on Google Earth.


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## benp (Jan 21, 2012)

howellhandmade said:


> when on your wood stacks are easier to see than your house on Google Earth.



NICE!!!! Screenshot?


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## howellhandmade (Jan 21, 2012)

benp said:


> NICE!!!! Screenshot?



Soon as Harry sends me his address.


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## Ohioguychris (Jan 21, 2012)

benp said:


> A lot of your gloves look like this....
> 
> 
> 
> ...




Ditto! I just did this tonight. I tried to save my "really old welding gloves" with mink oil....but i sadly had to give them their last rights. 

Arrggghhhh!!


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## Locust Cutter (Jan 21, 2012)

justchecknjr said:


> you use the kids radio flyer to bring wood in
> 
> *the shop vac stays by the fireplace*
> 
> ...



Mine always stays by the stove tile and my wood box holds about a face-cord or rick. I live in an old farm house, so to keep with the decor, I built mine out of a long pallet, framed a box around it and skinned it out in old barn wood. I could probably sell these things at farmer's markets or farm shows for a decent price. Too' bad I don't want to build another one,... LMAO


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## Steve NW WI (Jan 21, 2012)

Two words: Ove Gloves.

Really! They're great for working on anything hot. I usually don't wear em (or any gloves) loading the stove, but if I'm dumping ashes they're on. You can hold your hand right on the stove pipe for quite a bit before it even gets warm.


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## Jakers (Jan 22, 2012)

I just spent 2 1/2 hours reading thru ALL 27 PAGES of this thread. I can relate to about 99% of the posts but the one i figured id see on here repeatedly wasnt anywhere.

You know you heat with wood when... 

you have taken an unpaid week off of work to cut, split, and stack your firewood for next season (Try explaining that to your boss...)


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## PEKS (Jan 22, 2012)

You know you heat with wood when... 

Every few days, you have to clean the wood chips out of your toothbrush..


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## Steve NW WI (Jan 22, 2012)

Jakers said:


> I just spent 2 1/2 hours reading thru ALL 27 PAGES of this thread. I can relate to about 99% of the posts but the one i figured id see on here repeatedly wasnt anywhere.
> 
> You know you heat with wood when...
> 
> you have taken an unpaid week off of work to cut, split, and stack your firewood for next season (Try explaining that to your boss...)



Haven't done that, but I've used a few vacation days here and there when the call of the woods gets too strong to resist.


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## Chris-PA (Jan 22, 2012)

You have Northern Tool and TSC catalogs in the bathroom and the pages for wood stoves and chainsaw stuff are dog-eared.


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## JRepairsK70e (Jan 22, 2012)

WoodHeatWarrior said:


> You have Northern Tool and TSC catalogs in the bathroom and the pages for wood stoves and chainsaw stuff are dog-eared.



you forgot wespur,sherrill;and baileys lol


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## Wood Doctor (Jan 22, 2012)

*Encore...*



WoodHeatWarrior said:


> You have Northern Tool and TSC catalogs in the bathroom and the pages for wood stoves and chainsaw stuff are dog-eared.


And, your Bailey's catalog in the bathroom is so worn out that your wife threw it away along with the empty toilet paper roll. :biggrinbounce2:


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## DHIBBS75 (Jan 22, 2012)

justchecknjr said:


> you use the kids radio flyer to bring wood in
> 
> the shop vac stays by the fireplace
> 
> ...



I'm guilty of all of this .lol


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## DHIBBS75 (Jan 22, 2012)

When u have 3-4 yrs worth of fire wood already and u r stihl cuttin for the following yr.


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## Locust Cutter (Jan 23, 2012)

Jakers said:


> I just spent 2 1/2 hours reading thru ALL 27 PAGES of this thread. I can relate to about 99% of the posts but the one i figured id see on here repeatedly wasnt anywhere.
> 
> You know you heat with wood when...
> 
> you have taken an unpaid week off of work to cut, split, and stack your firewood for next season (Try explaining that to your boss...)



Or somewhat similar: When your co-workers do not understand your love/fascination with all things outdoors, your constant desire to be in the woods cutting or the stress relief that comes from it. Then they go on to complain about their gas bills and still don't see the irony of it all. It's amazing how far a bit of sweat equity can go. 

On a related note, here's two new definitions to common words that occurred to me recently.

1. Professionalism: The act of pretending that all is well, when you really want to choke those around you for stupidity, apathy, hypocrisy and laziness.

2. Stress: The body's natural reaction to the restrainment of one's desire to choke the living #### out of those around them.

:bang::taped:


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## Dale (Jan 24, 2012)

Wife'nHubby said:


> ... you learn the "alternate" meanings for the following:
> 
> "Got Lucky" = (Got some great future firewood.)
> 
> ...



When the girls on the forums you visit are as naughty as the guys.


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## Jwalker1911 (Jan 24, 2012)

I had a neighbor who built a dog kennel out of wood stacks (two sides and the back) then used t-posts to hold the chainlink door in place. Wife called him a hillbilly but personally I think he's on to something.


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## Wood Doctor (Jan 28, 2012)

*Cabin Fever*



Jwalker1911 said:


> I had a neighbor who built a dog kennel out of wood stacks (two sides and the back) then used t-posts to hold the chainlink door in place. Wife called him a hillbilly but personally I think he's on to something.


Or, you could go a step further:


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## CTYank (Jan 29, 2012)

When you're one of the very few in your area who's regularly up to date with tetanus.

(Splinters & such.)


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## Bushmans (Jan 29, 2012)

When your wife gives a load of wood to a friend and you charge your wife $50. (That'll learn her)

When your wife calls you a wood hoarder and threatens to put you on TV.

Sunday grocery shopping is done once a truck full of wood is cut an loaded and you stop on your way home parading through the store in knee highs leaving a trail of chips, mud and two cycle cologne.

When you spend time at work building wedges and wood carriers and wood racks when you should be working.

When wheelbarrow tracks on the hardwood floor are OK but muddy dog tracks are naughty.

When you dig post holes for a new woodshed during a brief warm up in January but have to cover the holes with giant elm rounds because it got cold again.

When you tell the wife she has to park outside because the garage is full of wood and you can't get to the wood pile until it freezes again and you want to keep it dry.

View attachment 220452


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## ponyexpress976 (Jan 29, 2012)

CTYank said:


> When you're one of the very few in your area who's regularly up to date with tetanus.
> 
> (Splinters & such.)



Haven't had one in 20yrs....pretty sure I'm immune due to repeated and constant exposure.


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## Steve NW WI (Jan 29, 2012)

You consider building a firewood maze to compete with the corn mazes that pop up every fall.


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## Somesawguy (Feb 6, 2012)

When you see a tree that's been cut down over the weekend on your way to work, and say to yourself, " I need to stop, and see if he wants to get rid of the wood, or needs help cutting it up." :hmm3grin2orange:


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## Jonesy11 (Feb 6, 2012)

When you put ads on CL looking for more downed trees to pick up

When you look forward to spending time in the backyard to get a few more rounds split to finish off that stack

When you start saving you noodles for fire starter

When you know which neighbor has what type of tree that needs attention but do not know their name.

When you train your dog to carry in wood with you 

When you make that extra trip back for wood because someone you know might need it


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## Jakers (Feb 6, 2012)

the picture says it all


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## Tolow4u (Feb 6, 2012)

My wife just came home from work tonight and said her boss told her this morning she had something in her hair.......it was some wood chips!!! Not even gonna comment on how thdey got there. Life is good...this website is killing me! I have gone through all pages tonight laughing and realizing I don't have a problem...we all do!!


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## Steve2910 (Jun 5, 2012)

You have weird calluses on your palms & fingers... Not due to any of your regular work... Must be caused by excessive swinging of the Fiskars


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## Dons kids (Jan 21, 2013)

You can tell the temperature of the other side of the house by the speed of your Ecofan.


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## GrizzlyAdams86 (Jan 21, 2013)

You consider buying a M35 2 1/2 ton or 5 ton truck for hauling firewood as "legitimate".

You are constantly prowling the lumber yard bargin area at menards for cheap green treat lumber/posts/timbers to stack wood on.

Your supply of t-posts for firewood stacks rivals that of the local farm supply store.

Your collection of old bottles and cans you find in the woods is bigger than the one at the antique shop.


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## blades (Jan 21, 2013)

When you keep a couple chainsaws at work, at home and in the truck + fuel and bar oil. Cause ya just never know when opportunity will knock.

All your spare chains are hung by the flue in hopes the wood fairy will bring a bigger power head & longer bar.

Yikes 29 pages so far!


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