# Tree climber commits suicide



## pdqdl (Aug 5, 2011)

This really isn't an arboricultural related death, except that the livelihood that many of us have chosen is often harsh. I'm sure that had he chosen a different career, the path of his life would have been different. Ralph Green, one of my on & off climbers since 2008, hung himself to death two days ago. No one found him until last night. He was only 32 years old, with lots of time left in his life to fix past mistakes.

Apparently, his girlfriend threw him over, he couldn't see his kids, and he only recently came back to work for me, so he had financial problems as well. No driver's license, he couldn't get around as much as he would prefer, either.

On the job, however, he did a fine job. Hard working, and skilled, I had no complaints. He came to me about a month ago, stating that he was tired of messing around with his life, that he thought it was time to settle down and hold a job. He said he was tired of being poor. For the last month, he was always here, on time, and ready to go, although he spent a lot of time "texting". We all knew it was women problems.

I can't find any obituary or other published information; the only source of information I have is the very brief phone call that came in this morning. Like so many others in this trade, he didn't really have a life that was filled with opportunities nor the advantages of a wealthy family or higher education. He has had problems with alcohol in the past, and I know that he would never have passed a drug screen. Much of his paycheck was taken for child support.

I wish there were more to say, but I really was not involved in his life; he preferred it that way. He kept to himself, and didn't talk much at all. 

_If I can pass along some advice to others that might be reading this and feeling depressed about their own life, it would be to share a few of your problems with your co-workers and see if they don't help you share the burden. Sometimes it helps to talk about your problems. 

Don't always try to be the tough loner that silently takes life's blows. Seek some help when you feel down, 'cause there is always someone who will listen, even if it is on a suicide hotline._


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## HILLBILLYREDNEC (Aug 5, 2011)

Sorry to hear about this. Prayers sent.


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## tree md (Aug 5, 2011)

Sorry to hear that. RIP.

My longtime girlfriend's brother committed suicide about 8 years ago. He was a climber... Sounds like much the same story. He left behind an estranged wife and 10 kids. He was in his mid 30's. We were good friends when we were young.


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## deevo (Aug 5, 2011)

Sorry to hear that as well pdqdl RIP


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## treemandan (Aug 5, 2011)

I was just think today about what you become when you become a person who needs to hire people and work with them.

bad #### PD, that's really ####ed up. Sorry to hear.


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## tree MDS (Aug 5, 2011)

treemandan said:


> I was just think today about what you become when you become a person who needs to hire people and work with them.
> 
> bad #### PD, that's really ####ed up. Sorry to hear.


 
One of the old school (self employed) tree climbers in my county, just climbed up a tree about 30' and hung himself a few weeks ago.

I don't know any details though... wouldn't post any even if I did.. sad deal though!


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## DeAvilaTree (Aug 6, 2011)

It's very sad to here, seems to be happing everywhere you look , we try to reach out and they bottle themselves up. What a shame so young too plenty of time to turn his life around


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## 046 (Aug 6, 2011)

what a shame at 32 with his whole like to go


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## Grace Tree (Aug 6, 2011)

It's difficult to help people with depression because it distorts reality. Trying to get them to see that things may get better is like telling an anorexic that they're too thin. I had a friend who had moderate to severe depression on a pretty regular two month cycle. He told me that when he was OK it was impossible to remember how bad it felt at the bottom of his depression and when he was depressed he couldn't grasp the concept of ever feeling good again. a pretty tough illness that may lead to suicide and the survivors shaking their heads wondering what they could have done to prevent it. 
Phil


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## Winn R (Aug 6, 2011)

*Suicide*

It's a permanent solution to a temporary problem.


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## audible fart (Aug 6, 2011)

Winn R said:


> It's a permanent solution to a temporary problem.


 
Some problems are permanent.


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## derwoodii (Aug 6, 2011)

Beautifully said PDQDL. In this of this business we often take on the ill at ease, the rough diamonds, the hit hard times or hard times enthusiast. These personality's employed can bring days of joy other days of frustration. The nature of tree work can forge strong bonds of comrade ship as we work for a profit while avoiding the hazards. Together we take care for each others welfare, even when the day is done. 
Sorry for his choice hope others find a better way to address life's roll of the dice.


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## PinnaclePete (Aug 8, 2011)

Think I'll call a buddy right now and see how he's doing.


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## TimberMcPherson (Aug 9, 2011)

A couple weeks ago a good friend of two of my guys, a 23 year old girl with a ton of personality, took her own life. She was a great kid, but for all the life she had, she didnt want it. She was smart, pretty and just so likable. Its a shame


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## menzhari (Aug 15, 2011)

I'm sorry to hear this. Suicide is not the solution to any problem and will never be a solution.


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## Bigus Termitius (Aug 16, 2011)

derwoodii said:


> Beautifully said PDQDL. In this of this business we often take on the ill at ease, the rough diamonds, the hit hard times or hard times enthusiast. These personality's employed can bring days of joy other days of frustration. The nature of tree work can forge strong bonds of comrade ship as we work for a profit while avoiding the hazards. Together we take care for each others welfare, even when the day is done.
> Sorry for his choice hope others find a better way to address life's roll of the dice.



Well said.

Sad news, I will be praying.


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## 16:1mix (Aug 22, 2011)

Friends,

I stumbled into this thread from the other AS forums quite by chance. It's sad to hear of any suicide deaths because they are 100% preventable. Now, I'm no shrink and neither do I have a litany of letters behind my name but if I may offer an opinion it looks like anyone in a state of mind to kill themselves is in such a dark place because they are spiritually ill, lacking the direction and guidance of God. Christians use their faith as a benchmark when personal trials test them. There are no problems that can't be overcome with the realization that you are never alone. "I will never leave you or forsake you." God's word says in Hebrews 13:5. Just knowing this would lend comfort to the ailing soul.

Fellow Christians understand this, and non believers may scoff at these words but there is a personal peace in the knowledge that there is a master plan and all it takes to become a part of it is to accept it.

So sad its too late for these...


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## Johny Utah (Aug 22, 2011)

Very sad to hear of these stories of people who are just pushed to the brink. I often wonder if these people are sorry they acted so harshly and wish to be alive again. Life is very challenging for all of us and everybody has a cross to bear. It is very hard to admit you have a problem and to reach out for help. Nobody wants to be labeled as the messed up freak. I have personal experience and it is very hard to see things in a positive way sometimes.


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## SawTroll (Aug 23, 2011)

16:1mix said:


> Friends,
> 
> I stumbled into this thread from the other AS forums quite by chance. It's sad to hear of any suicide deaths because they are 100% preventable. Now, I'm no shrink and neither do I have a litany of letters behind my name but if I may offer an opinion it looks like anyone in a state of mind to kill themselves is in such a dark place because they are spiritually ill, lacking the direction and guidance of God. Christians use their faith as a benchmark when personal trials test them. There are no problems that can't be overcome with the realization that you are never alone. "I will never leave you or forsake you." God's word says in Hebrews 13:5. Just knowing this would lend comfort to the ailing soul.
> 
> ...



That post is totally out of place - please remove it! :msp_sad:


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## Metals406 (Aug 23, 2011)

16:1mix said:


> Friends,
> 
> I stumbled into this thread from the other AS forums quite by chance. It's sad to hear of any suicide deaths because they are 100% preventable. Now, I'm no shrink and neither do I have a litany of letters behind my name but if I may offer an opinion it looks like anyone in a state of mind to kill themselves is in such a dark place because they are spiritually ill, lacking the direction and guidance of God. Christians use their faith as a benchmark when personal trials test them. There are no problems that can't be overcome with the realization that you are never alone. "I will never leave you or forsake you." God's word says in Hebrews 13:5. Just knowing this would lend comfort to the ailing soul.
> 
> ...


 
Opinions don't belong?

Sorry to hear about your climber PDQDL.


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## Johny Utah (Aug 23, 2011)

SawTroll said:


> That post is totally out of place - please remove it! :msp_sad:


 
Looks like it was written with good intention, but no need to relate this to a spiritual, god perspective.


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## SawTroll (Aug 24, 2011)

Metals406 said:


> Opinions don't belong?
> 
> Sorry to hear about your climber PDQDL.


 
Using peoples misfurtune to promote religion, shows really bad taste and judgement! :bad_smelly:


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## pdqdl (Aug 24, 2011)

Death & religion are irreversibly linked in most folks minds. Each of us faces the finality of our lives with a different perspective; I won't be judgmental about this particular foray into religion. For the most part, I agree that we should leave religion out of this forum.

I drew no offense, I doubt if Ralph would have, and I wouldn't want this thread to become any kind of battlefield.


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## ClimbMIT (Sep 4, 2011)

Hello Everyone,
I am new here and just came across this thread. I first want to say I am very sorry to those of you who had recent lost. Second thing I would like to say is I disagree with suicide being 100% preventable. I do agree that having faith in a higher power can help prevent a person from commiting suicide. I believe this because I am alive now. I suffer with major depressive disorder, past drug addictions, and suicidial ideation. Do whatever it takes to get well! I choose God but I am not going to push him on others. I respect others with different beliefs.


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## sgreanbeans (Sep 5, 2011)

Sad, sorry to hear that.


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## TreeAce (Sep 5, 2011)

audible fart said:


> Some problems are permanent.


 
A problem may be "permanent" but how a person percieves that problem will almost always change. It just takes time and maybe some help. That mans story is chillingly familiar to me.


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## ropensaddle (Sep 6, 2011)

Sorry pdq and prayers sent for all involved there have been times in my life, I could of thought the ease of ending it would of been the answer. I'm so glad i did not listen to the reasoning of an insane person." Now" no matter how bad things seem , I know it will pass as the only certainty is change and usually the only thing I have power to change is myself and my views. rip.


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## 2muchgrass (Sep 11, 2011)

Small Wood said:


> It's difficult to help people with depression because it distorts reality. Trying to get them to see that things may get better is like telling an anorexic that they're too thin. I had a friend who had moderate to severe depression on a pretty regular two month cycle. He told me that when he was OK it was impossible to remember how bad it felt at the bottom of his depression and when he was depressed he couldn't grasp the concept of ever feeling good again. a pretty tough illness that may lead to suicide and the survivors shaking their heads wondering what they could have done to prevent it.
> Phil


Exactly right. That is as good a description as I have ever heard. And while one is on the low end, the fear of life and the pain is so great, the thought of suicide can actually make you happy. There is nothing anyone could have done, not even the victim. Everything sort of goes on autopilot until the deed is done. 
I enjoyed a wonderful evening, full of laughter and reminiscing with a lifelong friend and his brother at his kitchen table one evening. The brother stood with tears in his eyes from laughter and announced he needed to go to bed as he had to get up for work in a few hours. 10 minutes later we heard the boom from a shotgun at the end of the hall. 10 years of thinking about those final moments and still I can't remember one single indicator of what was about to happen to my friend.
On the flip side of his suicide is the logical one. Another childhood friend called me from the west coast and informs me he has an incurable condition. After a lengthy conversation, he had my blessing. We said our good byes and a month later, I was told that he died "suddenly" at his home alone.In his situation, I would have done the same thing. 
It angers me to see a disease like depression take a person's life. "A permanent solution to a temporary problem" is so right and it is so preventable with the correct medications. It is so hard to get the person to act aggressively enough to see that he gets the correct medications from a largely uncaring and unresponsive medical community.


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## pdqdl (Sep 12, 2011)

I had a severe head injury once, and was prescribed medication for a mild depression. Much to my surprise, it actually worked! I have come across a lot of folks that don't seem to understand that depression is an illness, not a choice. Should those same individuals become clinically depressed themselves, they may still refuse to seek help, and persist in their belief that they should just "man-up" and tough it out. This is the course that frequently leads to self-extinction.

I can't comment on what Ralph's particular problems were, except to the extent that I already have previously. I did not recognize any signs of clinical depression, but then I am not trained for that either.


A few weeks after Ralph died, I had another employee that had serious drinking problems and was constantly in trouble with the local government. He was looking at serious jail time if he didn't go back to the halfway house one night, and I knew he didn't intend to go. It was obvious to me that he intended to kill himself that evening, after he had taken a nice last meal and gotten nice & drunk, too. I presumed that I would hear from him later that evening...Yep! I was up several hours in the middle of the night, trying to tote his sorry ass back to jail. I got the job done, but it took several hours, and I was damned tired the next day. He's been locked up since then, probably to his great advantage. 

Like a bad penny, he will be coming back again...


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## lt1nut (Sep 25, 2011)

Depression is a female dog that I know all to well. Sometimes it takes me for a walk, sometimes I it. The only way I can describe "being down" is as if you were being flushed down a toilet, spinning faster and faster in ever smaller circles, fighting to hopefully stay at the same place until the bowl starts to fill with water again. Taking everything you have and leaving you sapped of energy for no appearant reason.... 

That fight is often unbearable; the "logical" action at that time, for me, is too simple. Without my family that action would've been taken years ago- I refuse to give in that easily and shudder at the thought of them finding me afterwards. I wish this guy would've found the one thing that stops him before he let himself stop living.

I've gotta go wipe my eyes again, this so sucks!!!!


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