# A New Cause (humor)



## slowp (Dec 5, 2007)

Yesterday, I went down in the brush to harass the rigging crew. Got caught by a guy who needed to rag on and on on how bad things were...dog died. woman left him, got into fights etc. Every other word was the F word. So, I got to thinking how inefficient this is. Shouldn't one strive for efficiency in speech as in other things? The F word is acceptable to scream out when one's saw hits say --the pavement, the gravel, a rock, gets hung up etc. 
But to use it every other word is wasteful. I have started the Society for Efficient Speech. But I didn't want to go down and tell them because I heard they were in a good mood and cheery today. By the way, I forgot to warn someone who came out to swamp for me this morning and they looked alarmed when I screamed out the F word when the saw got pinched..Forgot to use Googily Moogily again.


----------



## b1rdman (Dec 5, 2007)

**** off!


----------



## clearance (Dec 5, 2007)

W.T.F.? As a child I was very polite and never swore. Years of construction and running a saw at one job or another changed all that. I guess it was the enviroment I was in. I try hard to be polite aroung kids and old people, used to be polite around women, but now many of them are foul mouthed as well. 

Good luck with your quest, I am sure it will go over about as well as asking the guys to a gay pride parade.


----------



## Stihlboy088 (Dec 5, 2007)

My first semester at college on the first day also. I was sitting in a chair close to one of the main hallways in the school waiting for class, some guy came running down the hall and caught the strap on my bag with his foot. Him and my books along with can of chew went flying across the floor, the books didn't go too far but the chew went whizzing off like a hockey puck and smacked into the wall splitting open on impact ( a wintergreen mess all over the place ). The words which came out of my mouth directed at the tobacco product went as follows: F:censored: me in the @:censored: and call me Sally! As I got up from the chair I realized that I had just shouted this phrase in front of my new professor "my new English Professor" I was then told later in class that "The use of foul language represents a person lacking intelligence." I don't think it held true; I aced the course. However my language has cleaned up amazingly since then.


----------



## Fuzly (Dec 6, 2007)

That particular word does seem to get over used. I'm all for cussing and swearing, but I like to hear it done with some creativity (see example in above post; well done!).

I do drop the F-bomb, but try to save it for special occasions. On the other hand, some of the guys around here would have a hard time completing a sentence without it. I don't think constant swearing is so much a "lack of inteligence" as a lack of vocabulary. There are so many wonderful adjectives (and verbs, depending on how the word is being used), and I say use them. Adjectives are our friends!

Now, really testing my memory, I heard a song once from two guys, I think Pinkert and Bowden are the names. The song was called "The Universal Adjective". It was hilarious and about this very subject. I'll see if I can locate it, I'm pretty sure I heard those two on "The Bob and Tom Show" several months ago, so they must still be performing.

Just wanted to add, The Society sounds like a worthy orginization and wish slowp good luck.


----------



## slowp (Dec 6, 2007)

Further pondering of the subject makes me realize that Googily Moogily would be even less efficient than the one syllable F word. My own word that usually comes out is the s word and for some reason, when around others who don't work in the woods and might be offended, comes out in German. I took Spanish in high school, not German. Well, I have more trees to cut out this morning so I am sure I'll not be efficient in speech for a while. I welcome your input.  I haven't heard any really original phrasing since I worked for a guy in the early 80s.


----------



## Stihlboy088 (Dec 6, 2007)

Check this one out "history of the F word":
http://www.funlol.com/funpages/historyoffword.html

Just make sure the kids are out of the room!


----------



## Gologit (Dec 6, 2007)

slowp said:


> Further pondering of the subject makes me realize that Googily Moogily would be even less efficient than the one syllable F word. My own word that usually comes out is the s word and for some reason, when around others who don't work in the woods and might be offended, comes out in German. I took Spanish in high school, not German. Well, I have more trees to cut out this morning so I am sure I'll not be efficient in speech for a while. I welcome your input.  I haven't heard any really original phrasing since I worked for a guy in the early 80s.



You should hang out down here for awhile. Last year I heard a side rod go on for at least five minutes...and never repeat himself. 
Original phrasing isn't that hard to find. We have a faller who for years alternated attendance between UCLA and various county jails. He can tailor his language to suit the audience and it's always original,always colorful, and always funny. He had a young faller breaking in who cut the corner out of a big white fir and it went sideways on him...almost got our hero. You could hear him all over the strip commenting on his partner's ancestry, his intelligence or lack thereof,his sexual proclivities,the fact that his IQ had never yet exceeded the ambient air temperature,his looks, his weight, his choice of boots, the way he bucked, and finally....that he'd be a competent timber faller shortly after root-beer was available in Hell.
I wish I could have taped the whole thing...all I can remember are the highlights. 
I love originality in language. The F-bomb is overused and has become almost meaningless. Except when one of the grand-kids use it.


----------



## slowp (Dec 7, 2007)

The only thing I could think of after the hooktender sent the tree backwards towards me was to yell, "You missed." I badly wanted to yell other things. The look on their faces (he had help even) was priceless. I now ask where the cutter is who has come the closest to nailing me, where the hooktender is and what he is doing, and where the lines are. It saves on inefficient thinking of inefficient words or phrases. Saw an excellent rigging fit yesterday. No original words but the jumping and waving around while standing on the yarder I would rate a 9. To earn a perfect score, a hard hat has to be thrown a good distance or bounced off something.


----------



## LarryTheCableGuy (Dec 7, 2007)

I find that can be quite effective to substitute the word "fork" for the full strength f-bomb, as it makes those around you think for a few minutes.

We all seem to be surrounded by those who are not familiar with doing that very frequently, making it that much more entertaining.


.


----------



## logbutcher (Dec 8, 2007)

*Fork*



LarryTheCableGuy said:


> I find that can be quite effective to substitute the word "fork" for the full strength f-bomb, as it makes those around you think for a few minutes.
> .



Now Larry, "fork" in Ireland is the equivalent. As in, " I can't get that forking sheep do off me boots." Ask Joe in Castletown ( me wife's cousin, really ).

In fact, if you say "fork" very very very very fast, over and over again, you will discover the same. All together now: "fork" "fork" "fork" "fork".......... 

Where the F have you been ?  
Damn it all brings one back to days in country when F was an adjective, a noun, an adverb, a preposition, a verb, a breath. Strangely enough it was never used as dictionary defined (and I the Gramma Czar  ).


----------



## slowp (Dec 9, 2007)

Oooooh, and substituting sheet would do the same as fork. Inneresting....opcorn:


----------



## Gologit (Dec 9, 2007)

*Hey Slowp*

Go rent the movie "Johnny Dangerously". Theres a villain in there, name of Roman Moroni, who does whole rants in heavily accented profanity. My favorite (let's see if I can get away with this ) is "Fargin Icehole!" The movie is hilarious.


----------



## logbutcher (Dec 9, 2007)

This site is a wonder of intellectual acumen. Some brilliant thoughts to be found, in spite of the out-of-site rep for redneckdom. But that's only for you Left Coasties:jawdrop: 

You mean that you know Roman Moroni ??!!???  It is a cult film.
Roman's bro is Bony . You do recall the song: 
"Work your fingers to bone. 
Whatya get ? Bony fingers. "


----------



## slowp (Dec 9, 2007)

I was working on flood cleanup in the West part of the county today. The :censored: word popped out when I got some muck in the face, and I had noticed there was no swearing going on amongst anybody else there, which seemed very strange to my ears. I apologized and was told, "That's ok, you're from East County." It popped out a couple other times also. I felt bad. But no bad words came out of my mouth when the Mormon crew was in the house. They want us to come back too. I also got the feeling that I don't live amongst normal people. Oh well, I like it here.


----------



## PB (Dec 9, 2007)

I think a more inefficient word is "like". I hear that word thousands of times in a day teaching freshman. "This is like totally like impossible, Biology is like my least like favorite like subject." Drives me nuts. I find myself counting how many times they say it is a sentence.


----------



## clearance (Dec 9, 2007)

PlantBiologist said:


> I think a more inefficient word is "like". I hear that word thousands of times in a day teaching freshman. "This is like totally like impossible, Biology is like my least like favorite like subject." Drives me nuts. I find myself counting how many times they say it is a sentence.



Like whatever. Like who cares, like really. like so '90s. What gets me is news people who should know how to use English well, when they say stuff like "The man was electrocuted to death" Like it drives me mental.


----------



## Fuzly (Dec 10, 2007)

slowp said:


> I was working on flood cleanup in the West part of the county today. The :censored: word popped out when I got some muck in the face, and I had noticed there was no swearing going on amongst anybody else there, which seemed very strange to my ears. I apologized and was told, "That's ok, you're from East County." It popped out a couple other times also. I felt bad. But no bad words came out of my mouth when the Mormon crew was in the house. They want us to come back too. I also got the feeling that I don't live amongst normal people. Oh well, I like it here.



Know what ya mean, I commute and work in the next county over. Sometimes I get "it's OK, you're from Forest County."

Well I'm glad, I wouldn't want them to feel uncomfortable being around my superior intellect. Not everybody can be from a unique place! 

(Or maybe it was the time I couldn't understand why these guys got OUT of their trucks during deer season, or the time I listed dynamite as my favorite bait for fishing, but that stuff about dating relatives over here is NOT true)


----------



## slowp (Dec 10, 2007)

Yeah, we weren't quick enough. When we were leaving, this guy shouted, "You girls worked your butts off! Way to go!" We should have answered back, "It was the meth!" That would be the proper stereotype except we have all our teeth and I'm on the round side. And we didn't strip the house of the copper wiring either!


----------



## Fuzly (Dec 19, 2007)

We've been really lucky so far. Meth has hit pretty hard to the west and north of us, but don't see much of it here.

IIRC, it was in the U.P. (Michigan) a while back, little old lady goes on vacation; meth heads get in her house and steal all the original copper plumbing plus the wiring.

Thing is, they were so cranked up they left the water and the electricity on! Miraculously, no bodies were found on scene. However, to add insult to injury, they flooded the lady's basement along with cleaning her out of copper and valuables. 

Last I heard, State Police had two likely (and toothless) suspects in custody.


----------



## Sawdustmaker (Dec 19, 2007)

PlantBiologist said:


> I think a more inefficient word is "like". I hear that word thousands of times in a day teaching freshman. "This is like totally like impossible, Biology is like my least like favorite like subject." Drives me nuts. I find myself counting how many times they say it is a sentence.



Me too... I got 157 in 6 mins from one girl.


----------



## Sawdustmaker (Dec 19, 2007)

On the back off triangle ice delivery truck....
"We hual ICE" :hmm3grin2orange: :hmm3grin2orange: :hmm3grin2orange:


----------



## Zackman1801 (Dec 19, 2007)

PlantBiologist said:


> I think a more inefficient word is "like". I hear that word thousands of times in a day teaching freshman. "This is like totally like impossible, Biology is like my least like favorite like subject." Drives me nuts. I find myself counting how many times they say it is a sentence.



you sound like my grandfather, he harrases my sister daily for saying like. i do believe it is overused since half the time you dont really know if people are using it legitimately or using it as slang.


----------



## RoGrrr (Dec 29, 2007)

We had a kid fresh outta college hire into the office where I work. His 'thing' was: "you know".
I kinda got tired of hearing it so EVERY TIME he said it, I countered with, "No, I don't know". The first time I did it, he had this quizzical look on his face but kept on with his dialogue. And I continued with my 'not knowing'. It took him a monthor so to get out of that habit. Gotta say, ya know, the kid was kinda bright, ya know. If'n he wasn't, he'da still be saying it, ya know.

One other thing he came out with in his rendition of dialogues was "go'ing". He would say something like, I was talking with him and he goes, John did this. 
So I go, How did he do that? 
And he goes, with a lever to move it. 
And I go,,,,,,,,,

So, every time he 'went' it (past tense of goes, ya know) I'd interject, "where'd he go ?" or "where'd you go ?" You know.

So, lots of "going" and "knowing" simply went away as he matured.




clearance said:


> Like whatever. Like who cares, like really. like so '90s. What gets me is news people who should know how to use English well, when they say stuff like "The man was electrocuted to death" Like it drives me mental.


----------



## Slvrmple72 (Dec 29, 2007)

dude!


----------



## turnkey4099 (Dec 30, 2007)

Slvrmple72 said:


> dude!



LOL! I hate that when someone who has made it past his 18th birthday is still using it.

Harry K


----------



## Gologit (Dec 30, 2007)

turnkey4099 said:


> LOL! I hate that when someone who has made it past his 18th birthday is still using it.
> 
> Harry K



Yeah, I mean, that's like, you know...so over. Ya know?


----------



## slowp (Dec 30, 2007)

'kaaaay. So experts, please explain the phrase, JUICE! Late last year, a big punkin went across a main road. Locals cut just enough out to squeeeeeze a full size pickup through....just barely. Woodcutters were intimidated by the log size and size of knots in the section on the road. So, I got tired of squeezing the monster truck through the log and talked fire guys into coming out and whittling on it. (I didn't have my "green card" then or a saw.) After one guy and I had been working on it. for an hour..I pounded wedges and yarded the pieces off the road, the "crew" shows up. All they seemed to do was stand around and yell JUICE unless I got cranky and told them exactly what to do. And I found myself thinking of telling them impolite things to do because of having to deal with them. JUICE got yelled whenever a saw was going or while splitting a big chunk so it could be moved. So, dudes, like how common is JUICE.


----------



## Gologit (Dec 30, 2007)

slowp said:


> 'kaaaay. So experts, please explain the phrase, JUICE! Late last year, a big punkin went across a main road. Locals cut just enough out to squeeeeeze a full size pickup through....just barely. Woodcutters were intimidated by the log size and size of knots in the section on the road. So, I got tired of squeezing the monster truck through the log and talked fire guys into coming out and whittling on it. (I didn't have my "green card" then or a saw.) After one guy and I had been working on it. for an hour..I pounded wedges and yarded the pieces off the road, the "crew" shows up. All they seemed to do was stand around and yell JUICE unless I got cranky and told them exactly what to do. And I found myself thinking of telling them impolite things to do because of having to deal with them. JUICE got yelled whenever a saw was going or while splitting a big chunk so it could be moved. So, dudes, like how common is JUICE.



Juice? Orange, grapefruit, papaya ? Juice?... Nope, never heard it down here. And quit calling me dude. Now.


----------



## lt1nut (Jan 1, 2008)

So, what's wrong with Forest County eh, dude? Seriously, my hunting shack is up there, the worst thing about it is the bingo indians but they aren't up near Armstrong Creek...

I say dude because my kids have to accept it, same as saying cool, hip, tough, boss, heheheheheheeh

Only thing I know about using juice in or as a term is gin n' juice. NOT sure if that's strictly gin and juice or any alcohol though...


----------



## ropensaddle (Jan 1, 2008)

I use stinkin,dad burn,confounded,blasted,thing; instead of fudge
:angel:


----------



## turnkey4099 (Jan 1, 2008)

My worst use of the F was in the AF. Russian linguist. I had been working over a tape and was stuck on one portion. Over, and over, dig out dictionaries, etc. Then the light bulb hit making it clear, I yanked off my cans (headsets), "you F...er!" bounced them off the door frame just as my new shift commander (a very cute captain) went by it outside. One very confused look on her face. Never a word said.

Harry K


----------



## BC_Logger (Jan 1, 2008)

its probbly the most used work on every construction site in the world 

you can all ways tell when some one messed something up or injured him/her self because some object gets thrown and f ck comes next


----------



## Fuzly (Jan 1, 2008)

lt1nut said:


> So, what's wrong with Forest County eh, dude? Seriously, my hunting shack is up there, the worst thing about it is the bingo indians but they aren't up near Armstrong Creek..



Nuttin really. Sometimes one of those Rhinelander rejects gives me a hard time because they think Rhinelander is a big cultural center or something.

I worked my way through college at the casino, didn't make much money; but as far as working my schedule around my classes and the way I was treated, probably one of the best employers I've ever had. Health insurance was 100% too.

Now those Polacks up on the Creek, they're a whole different story.........LOL!


----------



## smokechase II (Jan 1, 2008)

*If you speak F___ press 2 now.*

Most Europeans speak several languages.

Is it to much to ask yourself to speak English and 'Woods' each in their appropriate settings?

Woods is a dialect of English, a creole common around the world, where every other word is F____ (ing) in a form on noun, pronoun, verb, adverb, direct object adjective etc. 

The primary reason for use of this creole is to address specific nuances in the base language that cannot be realized by the limited words available.
Fortunately, F_____ has no F_____ing limits, if you know what the I'm saying.

Out F Standing. Jesus H Christ.

Did anyone here ever hear George Carlins analysis of why we say ______ You?


----------



## Stihlboy088 (Jan 2, 2008)

Rhinelander, cultural center? thats 2 days worth of laughing for me, although i shouldnt speak when the next closest town is WI Rapids.


----------



## slowp (Jan 2, 2008)

I just expect more originality in the woods but am disappointed. I do like a term, thought up by a hooktender, for those underachievers in world...paste eaters. He came up with it to describe a flagger, who was a very sound sleeper, and wouldn't wake up until I banged on the pickup cab with a stick. Then he barely woke up. They took the pickup away from him to keep him awake. He was the first recipiant, that I know of the name/term paste eater. The useage has expanded since. Like, "You mean that bunch of paste eaters in the office?" Or used jokingly whilst shoveling out flood debris, "Get to work you bunch of paste eaters." That is the most original term I've heard. I guess I could counter with "Clay eater." explanation being that a couple kids ate their modeling clay in first grade and they got bloody noses from it. Paste eater has a nice ring to it. Of course, one could always add Fudging (substituted for the other word) paste eater to make it more authentic. Or "Get to work, you scurvy paste eaters" on Talk Like A Pirate Day.


----------

