Bagged me a city boy.Welcome our newest member!

[fishercat]

them damn escort wagons.....................

After reading this entire thread it kinda reminded me of a past experience. I was coming home from work one day in the old smelly work car(escort wagon) and had to pickup some straw for the kids animals since it was getting cold. I stopped at a local farm and bought four bales of straw from the lady. I paid her the ten bucks and she asks when will I be back with the truck to get them? I replied I am taking them with me now!!! I opened up the hatch on the wagon and jammed all four bales inside and shut the hatch. She just stood there shaking her head and said that was the biggest "redneck" thing that she had ever seen. I just said thank you and have a pleasent evening. I think she was also shocked to see someone my size driving an escort. :jawdrop::jawdrop::jawdrop: I am 6'4" and 265 lbs. I also used that car for bringing home skids from work and picking up "free wood" that people were giving away. I wasn't tryin to hijack Avalancher but he reminds me of myself. Steve

were probably the best vehicle ford ever made.

 

[STEVEGODSEYJR]

were probably the best vehicle ford ever made.

Thats why ford dosen't make them anymore. Mine had 205,000 miles and it ran great. I frove it to Cincinatti Oh to work everyday. It is a 57 mile one way trip. I sold it to a friends dad for $500 (300 less than what I paid four years ago). He still drives it everyday!! Steve:agree2:

 

[gallegosmike]

Heck I have at least that many in the back seat of the wannabe city slicker go-to-work car. Truck is much more likely to have a half dozen partial boxes of various calibers of rifle ammo.

I do think the average city boy has an inner redneck just waitin to get out. Most all that have visited me gravitated to trucks, guns, tractors, saws, and anything else loud, smelly and hazardous that they don't get to play with...

Just noticed - got 2 12ga #6 high brass sittin right here on the computer desk, think it helps keep the electronic gizmos in line!

Great story Avalancher, you are a fine storyteller, even if your chainsaw judgement is a bit cloudy!

Lets see: 4 boxes of 9mm , a case of 12ga triple-odd-buck and some M855 laying around for good measure! It keeps my 'puters in line! LOL

Long live the workin' red neck man!

 

[SWI Don]

Great story Avalancher. You have an nice writing style about like Pat McManus. Keep up the good stories.

I've hauled just about everying in the back of the little 92 Lemans I drive to work. It's ugly but gets 40mpg on an 80 mile round trip. It's amazing what you can fit in a hatchback. I try to keep it under a quarter ton of payload in the back when hauling things like sandblaster sand, tile, etc. Oh, and it has a box of 25 deer slugs under the seat just in case. There may be some firewood behind the front seat right now.

Don

 

[deeker]

The next vist will no doubt be by Gregg by himself.I am sure Jessica will calm down, but she left my wife with the lasting impression that the minute a chainsaw shows up at the house, she is leaving.
Kinda too bad really,she would look pretty cute in PPE!

Repped you for that story, tried to give you a brand new shiny nova. But sadly, I failed.

 

[avalancher]

Avalancher...I do think we could be kin (I'm actually from western Va). Your description of the wood truck is dead on. The passenger seat of mine has so much dog hair on it that you can't vacuum, brush, or peel it off. My truck also has "that smell", and a week old bologana sandwich really gives it a zing. Here's the test....How many loose shotgun shells do you have rolling around in the cab of your truck..? If you answer more than a dozen we are kin fo sho'...

Well, after reading your post, it really got me to thinking.I really have no idea what is floating around in the truck, so I decided to take a look.

Now at least appearing to be a guy with some sense, I donned my lucky pants.Cant be to careful.I would have employed the wife to do the dictating of the list, but she is rather adament about staying away from the truck when its hot out.The last time she stuck her head in there she received a free but unwanted perm.Little Ceasers pizza boxes dont set too well over a three months time.

Lets see, we have several knives, two without handles.The other without a blade.Might have to do a little part swapping there just in case I want to do the Grizzly Adams thing again next week.

Several Mt.Dew bottles, half drank.Here again, might have to do a little swapping around.filter the spit out of em, and they might just do fine for the next time I have to wash some tylenol down.

The tear in the backseat is getting worse, providing some additional storage space that I desperatly need.I got to close with the pressure washer wand the last time I washed the truck out, and it tore a nice sized hole in the seat.Actually a great place to stash files.

Great assortment of nuts,bolts,screws.Looks like a few Lowes bags blew up in the backseat.Maybe the pizza fumes got to em.....

Big lump of something on the floor boards,looks kinda like Yaks vomit.dont recall giving a ride to a yak, but some of them hitchhikers were kinda close.
Ever give a ride to a hitchhiker?I dont make a habit of it,but an old guy sure looked tired.Evidently he had no idea what the phrase meant,"hang on, its going to get a little rough here" accounting for the sizeable dents in the roof.
The finger grooves on the dash from the last time I gave a ride to my aging mother should have been a giveaway.Remind you to tell you that story sometime when you are bored.

Some loose 16 gauge shotgun shells.Dont remember even owning a 16 gauge.

I make a practise of allowing paper cups to stay in the cupholders.They eventually leak coke into the holders, and provides a great adhesion to future coffee cups.I tried that on the drivers seat as well, the lack of dents on the drivers side roof attests to how great it works.The downhill side it makes getting back out of the truck a real chore, unless you are wearing really old levis who often leave the pants seat behind.This also works to your advantage on the local gas station.Go on in without a seat in your pants, and often the clerk will forget to charge you for some of your stuff.Last time I got a big bag of Funnyunions for free.

A nice collection of gnats,frozen in time and coke glue.

Toolkit.For prying the coffee cups out of the holders.

An acient box of mini wheats never opened.Funny thing is, the expiration date is before this truck was ever built.Weird!

First Aid kit.If you want to visit the woodfairies, I can hook you up.

Golf ball.I dont play golf.

Staple gun.Used primarily to threaten hitchhikers that fell asleep.Or died.Then I just stop and staple em up to the closest telephone pole.

An old Am radio.Just in case my day isnt going bad enough, I tune in Rush Limbaugh while taking a lunch break.

A set of dentures.From the hitchhiker that didnt hold on.

Other than that, nothing weird in my truck.Just the usual spiderman lunch box(hey, it brought me good luck in school, I hate to meddle with good luck.Besides, it looks rather dashing sitting on the tailgate awaiting lunch time)a few old playmate coolers, bar covers that I never remember to put back on the saws,spark plugs,etc.

I reckon my truck isnt any different than anyone else's.

 

[woodbooga]

You know like raconteur. That's hard on an old two dollar country boy.

I learned that one from Johnny Cash. An interviewer asked him how he came to develop such a great singing voice. He said he didn't consider himself a singer, but more of a raconteur.

Anyhow, I've been told I have a very fertile mind. (It grows the most wonderful mushrooms!)

As for "that truck smell": we all do it as a subconscious defense mechanism. My wife doesn't even want to set foot in mine, let alone drive it!

 

[derwood91]

Great story Avalancher. You have an nice writing style about like Pat McManus. Keep up the good stories.


Don

I was thinking the same thing. :agree2::agree2::agree2:

 

[thombat4]

I reckon my truck isnt any different than anyone else's.

Good stuff avalancher!

 

[Beefie]

Did I mention the wood fairies conversation at the dinner table?No?
Well, we were eating dinner, and my daughter asked me if I had seen any wood fairies this time out in the woods.Private joke among my family.

You see, some time ago I was cutting wood with a guy, bashed my hand real good with a big round, and spent the better part of an hour #####ing about it.

Now, I dont take meds too often, and my partner knew this.I finally had enough, and not wanting to appear being a wussy, slipped into the front of the truck and got 3 Tylenols and swallowed them down.

A few minutes later, partner called for a break, and persisted in me having a nice cold Dew to wash down the woodchips with.I should have known something was up.
An half hour later, I was getting a good buzz, found out later he had crushed up 3 Tylenols and put em in my drink.
Sat there on a log,trying to figure out why my head was ringing then the faires showed up.Runnin around, jumping over the trailer and it ticked me off.

Started throwing anything loose I could find,yelling at my partner to get the shotgun from the front of the truck.He had no idea what was going on.He finally managed to calm me down after I put a big dent in the tailgate, and knocked out one of the windows in canopy on the back of the truck.

So,its a common joke from my family to ask if I had seen any fairies when I come home.Needless to say, our company didnt get the joke, so I filled em in on the story.Jessica wanted to know if I make a habit of abusing drugs when cutting wood, I told her only when I am running behind and needing to make up some time.:greenchainsaw:

I darn near peed in my pants when I read this. The wife came in wondering what I thought was so funny, She just dosn't see the humor in cutting wood and wood fairies.

Can we please hear another story

Beefie

Just let me no when it will be story time so I can make up a bag of popcorn and get a beer out of the fridge.

 

[WetBehindtheEar]

An old Am radio.Just in case my day isnt going bad enough, I tune in Rush Limbaugh while taking a lunch break.

Mega Dittos! I actually find Rush to be a self-aggrandizing tool.

I dislike the NPR Bush Lied folk just as much - I pretty much dislike everyone.
:greenchainsaw:

Great story, man - it DOES show, though how much schizz-nit guys will put up with for a hot chick...

Then there's the saying that, "No matter how hot she is, there is ALWAYS some guy who's sick of her sh$t."

Thanks again.

 

[TJ-Bill]

HAhaha.. Very good post..

well back to work I guess. well maybe I'll read abit more

 

[turnkey4099]

No, the young creature in your avatar is fine!!!!

Stihl is great.

Husky....well don't they pull sleds????

They do that too!? I'll try it next winter.

Harry K

 

[TJ-Bill]

Well, after reading your post, it really got me to thinking.I really have no idea what is floating around in the truck, so I decided to take a look.

Now at least appearing to be a guy with some sense, I donned my lucky pants.Cant be to careful.I would have employed the wife to do the dictating of the list, but she is rather adament about staying away from the truck when its hot out.The last time she stuck her head in there she received a free but unwanted perm.Little Ceasers pizza boxes dont set too well over a three months time.

Lets see, we have several knives, two without handles.The other without a blade.Might have to do a little part swapping there just in case I want to do the Grizzly Adams thing again next week.

Several Mt.Dew bottles, half drank.Here again, might have to do a little swapping around.filter the spit out of em, and they might just do fine for the next time I have to wash some tylenol down.

The tear in the backseat is getting worse, providing some additional storage space that I desperatly need.I got to close with the pressure washer wand the last time I washed the truck out, and it tore a nice sized hole in the seat.Actually a great place to stash files.

Great assortment of nuts,bolts,screws.Looks like a few Lowes bags blew up in the backseat.Maybe the pizza fumes got to em.....

Big lump of something on the floor boards,looks kinda like Yaks vomit.dont recall giving a ride to a yak, but some of them hitchhikers were kinda close.
Ever give a ride to a hitchhiker?I dont make a habit of it,but an old guy sure looked tired.Evidently he had no idea what the phrase meant,"hang on, its going to get a little rough here" accounting for the sizeable dents in the roof.
The finger grooves on the dash from the last time I gave a ride to my aging mother should have been a giveaway.Remind you to tell you that story sometime when you are bored.

Some loose 16 gauge shotgun shells.Dont remember even owning a 16 gauge.

I make a practise of allowing paper cups to stay in the cupholders.They eventually leak coke into the holders, and provides a great adhesion to future coffee cups.I tried that on the drivers seat as well, the lack of dents on the drivers side roof attests to how great it works.The downhill side it makes getting back out of the truck a real chore, unless you are wearing really old levis who often leave the pants seat behind.This also works to your advantage on the local gas station.Go on in without a seat in your pants, and often the clerk will forget to charge you for some of your stuff.Last time I got a big bag of Funnyunions for free.

A nice collection of gnats,frozen in time and coke glue.

Toolkit.For prying the coffee cups out of the holders.

An acient box of mini wheats never opened.Funny thing is, the expiration date is before this truck was ever built.Weird!

First Aid kit.If you want to visit the woodfairies, I can hook you up.

Golf ball.I dont play golf.

Staple gun.Used primarily to threaten hitchhikers that fell asleep.Or died.Then I just stop and staple em up to the closest telephone pole.

An old Am radio.Just in case my day isnt going bad enough, I tune in Rush Limbaugh while taking a lunch break.

A set of dentures.From the hitchhiker that didnt hold on.

Other than that, nothing weird in my truck.Just the usual spiderman lunch box(hey, it brought me good luck in school, I hate to meddle with good luck.Besides, it looks rather dashing sitting on the tailgate awaiting lunch time)a few old playmate coolers, bar covers that I never remember to put back on the saws,spark plugs,etc.

I reckon my truck isnt any different than anyone else's.

this sounds like a new thread..

"Whats in you truck?"

or better yet...

"Pictures of the inside of your truck!"

 

[thombat4]

this sounds like a new thread..

"Whats in you truck?"

or better yet...

"Pictures of the inside of your truck!"

Dang it, I just cleaned out the truck this past weekend...took darn near the better part of a day! Got so bad I was the only one that would fit in it!

 

[woodguy105]

Great story!

 

[savageactor7]

Good story ...welcome Greg.

 

[woodbooga]

Good story ...welcome Greg.

Just a thought. Anyone think Gregg's going to join this site and post here(based on the panning Jessica's taken in this thread)? Just a thought.

 

[mimilkman1]

Dang it, I just cleaned out the truck this past weekend...took darn near the better part of a day! Got so bad I was the only one that would fit in it!

I can attest to that. It usually takes about 5 minutes of throwing pop tart wrappers, Mt Dew bottles (with and without Skoal juice), empty Skoal cans, sweatshirts and jerky wrappers to fit another person in the front of my truck. I consider it a 1 person vehicle. In the small extended cab part though is stored my 1,000,000 candle power spotlight for shining deer, jumper cables, tire repair kit, anti-freeze, oil, washer fluid, tranny fluid, and brake fluid. At least 5 left handed gloves and maybe 1 right handed glove, (ticks me off every time, I don't know where they go!!!!! grrrrrr), and a hat that got swatted off of my head into the manure trench.

Kyle

 

[yooper]

That was great! gotta say the burrito eating part was absolute genus! ....hate beans in my nose too! thanks for sharing such a good experience!