Help!!!

[Fish]

Hey guys,
I am new here, so go easy on me.
How can I tell if my chain is on in the right direction?
If I hit a nail, will that affect my chain's performance?
What about this dirt quandary?
Any info is greatly appreciated, TIA.

If I start pulling to the right, am I having a stroke?

 

[guff]

i would think that if a nail simply pokes you it isn't as bad as having one stick in your eye socket..if that were to occur; wash your face immediately in lacquer thinner to avoid infection..then put on a good beer buzz.......hitting one with your saw?? that is a different question, i know most of us here would just shut the saw down and stare at it...and pulling to the right?? take the picture of your signifigant other from your poocket and give her a kiss.....you have cut off your left testicle and are bleeding to death.................................................good day ...guff

 

[guff]

and yes, you vocabulary frikkin wizards, i don't know what the ???? a "poocket" is

 

[Fish]

What's a frikkin? Is that a half cord? Will that dull my chain?
TIA

 

[guff]

but which half of a cord is a frikkin? is that like the top of the pile with the beercan rings on it?

 

[Fish]

Beercan rings? You must be an old fart too! Most of these kids
have no idea what you are talking about, like rotary dial phones
and 8 tracks, betamax, etc..

So If I put my chain on the other way, I will then pull left???
I am confused!
What is this other tank for? Extra gas?

 

[NevadaWalrus]

Silly boy, that second tank is to stash your first aid supply of Jack Daniels.

 

[eyolf]

What's a beercan ring...do they have something to do with them newfangled cone-top cans?

You guys that drink that watery beer must know something I don't. I been drinkin' Blatz longnecks for so long, maybe I forget about new technology...you know "less filling, no rotten fartz..."

 

[Fish]

Bottled beer is for pussies!!

If it doesn't have an aftertaste of leached out aluminum, then I
don't want it. The aluminum protects my body from harmful
bacteria, and confuses any wayward virus that may cross my
path I might encounter in my daily vices.

 

[Fish]

Now zinc, that is another topic altogether! It may be a little
toxic, but it sure will put lead in your pencil! If one of the
major breweries would put out a galvanized can, I would buy it, even if it was Strohs.
But I digress....

 

[treeslayer]

aw, heck, just drink your beer out of a bucket like a real man.
if your saw pulls to the right, get on the other side of the log....

 

[HUSKYMAN]

Run premium gas, cheapskate, and you wont have to worry about anything. The chain will sharpen itself.

 

[stihltech]

fish

Slow night Fish? Thanks for the enlightenment.

 

[guff]

don't take that criticism fish, you speak on behalf of all us web toed forked tongued sister banging rejects who make paper airplanes out of lunchmeat

 

[Fish]

Lunchmeat?

Would that work in my potato gun?

 

[treeclimber165]

mooo..........

 

[user 2993]

I like hunting potatos too, but it is still only black powder season in Tenn. Muzzle loading lunchmeat is not recommended.
My potato gun was firing to the right. I started cleaning it with synthetic and all is well
What techniques do you use for rutabaga?
I like to butcher them with my CHAINSAW

 

[Fish]

Rutabaga?

What is that? Some new Jap car made in Tenn.?

Or is that one of those hillbilly foods like cornpone? Mush?

Kind of like calling the kettle black, or cooking utensils of color,
sorry.

I have been digressing and drinking alot lately, so I have been
out of touch lately.
How is our squirmish in Grenada coming along?

 

[user 2993]

The squeamish is progressing well.
The grenadine embargo has been lifted
A rutabaga is a tuba
Thank you for your concern.

 

[Fish]

You start drinking earlier than I do. I salute you, brother!