Hope I don't regret this

[Jace]

Don't feel all is at a loss. Your sons have learned a lot through this experience, and they will never forget how great their Dad is.

Right on.

sgb, Ya never can know if U can help or not, if ya dont/didnt try. Lotta guys would not have given him a chance...
When ya think about all the junk some of the kids out there go thru as a child, like in your opening post, its no wonder its next to impossible to get them on the right track...


I have a similiar situation. Trying to help a 20 year old meth and mary jane user. Dont have a job, cant get a job. Dont have a grad diploma or GED (trying to get his GED) Living with 2 couples married in one house, and their all sleeping around on eachother(and drugs..). He has Hardly no clothes to wear. To top it off, I think he's having sex with a 14-15 year old girl, tho he claims theyre just friends!
He want to do better, get a solid job, but cant get hired anywhere cause his teeth are rotted out from doing meth, plus he owes a jail bill of $375 still. No transportaqtion. Talk about a mess, where do I stop?
He wants to do better, I really do believe that, but its a big rut to get out of EVEN if he REALLY wants to.

While he may seem like a lost cause of a loser...heres the deal... he has always had broken homes, and never had a "lasting" dad. His mom died 8 years ago, he was 12. She had been married either 3 or 4 times after being pregnant with him. He never knew or met his biological dad. Her first husband adopted him and they were only married a year, so that guy spent the next 17 paying child support on a boy that he only knew a year. He never saw him again. She got married three more times after that, and then she died. 6 months after she died, her latest husband and father figure to him, died of a heart attack. So the boy never had a lasting relationship with a father figure, and the closet to him(mother) died. The kids of the "father figure" that died, are on drugs, and he has been with them every since their dad died. (Hopfully this isnt completley confusing).

When kids go thru messes like this, its no wonder they end up hooked on drugs or in jail, untrustworthy and dont trust anybody, basically just wasting life away, and I think nothing short of a miracle from above can get them on track.

Anyway, kudos to ya bean for what you and your family have attempted to do for him...it is/was NOT a waste of time, (like what Sagetown just said)that is FOR CERTAIN.

 

[Zale]

If someone is a active addict, you can't do anything until that person wants to change. All you can do is detach with love. The boy has a disease but is unwilling to acknowledge it. Don't enable him by giving him a second or third chance. You did your best. Have you changed the locks on your house? Thats not meant as a joke.

 

[husabud]

Good on ya Beans! I am sorry to hear he went wrong again. I live in a community full of these types, no meth, but plenty of pills coke heroin weed, you name it. I have lost a friend every year for eight years to some drug or another. I even lost a close cousin. Once your brain is programmed to this crap, you're done. Too bad. Change your locks.

 

[sgreanbeans]

I was thinking about what all of you have said and I have come to this conclusion. The youth of today is screwed. Not enough chiefs and way to many freakin Indians. I look at all the kids that grew up with my boys, all of them had the same story, no dad, worthless mom, drugs. I look at them now, they all think they are going to "hit it big" on you tube or be the next Idol. Instead of preparing for life, they wait for the free cheese. They learn the skills of theft and cheating long before they learn about Honor. Too many kids going the way of the Sith, it makes me sad. Not blowing smoke up my own, but then I look at my boys, all kickin' butt. Oldest has the highest GPA in his class at North Central. Where he gets it from..........I have NO idea, lol. My point is, they grew up with a dad, but that is no excuse for success. I didn't have a dad, mom is a drunk, I turned out ok I guess, I was pretty wild, but no punk druggie. I chose the Marines, they didn't recruit me. I found them. Ya gotta want it, and until u go after it, your just going to be a waste to society. Its something inside u.
My boys want it real bad, they understand that I am not rich, that if they want to be, they gotta go after it, they are, with both guns loaded. Justification for Higher Education, remember those posters? I remind the boys all the time.
BIG WEEKEND here at the house, as far as kids go. Oldest will be home for summer on Sunday, Middle graduates on Sunday from High school. The yunone is out already for the summer and is ready to get down to the gym. On Tuesday, I will have a full crew again, both older boys out, full time, cant hardly wait. I love working with them, they get after it pretty hard and like to out do each other.
Austin will have a rough time in life, he will need to crash and burn before he wakes up.

Thanks all for the kind words, and back at cha. I know many of you are dealing with this same thing, hope yall have better luck.

They should have a VocRehab class at the community college, called "how to grow the f up and be a man" taught by Bobby Booshay

 

[himiler]

They should have a VocRehab class at the community college, called "how to grow the f up and be a man" taught by Bobby Booshay

My Scoutmaster for the troop my son was in gave a talk one Saturday night about how life is tough and there are no shortcuts. You work hard and smart and you get what you put into it. I've probably used that speech on the young scouts more than a dozen times.
On a separate note, I can't help but think you've got a wife that backs you a hundred percent and holds those boys of yours to the mark.
Steve
Oh, and I'm proud of ya for making the effort.

 

[HappyTreesLLC]

Beans,
You did grate. It is very sad to hear bad outcome of situation.
"You can take a boy out of trailer park but you can't take trailer park out of boy" - "Swordfish"
Do not let this negative outcome discourage you from being GOOD MAN.