I'm too stupid for firewood (identification help)

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He is just thinking too hard. Cut the tree into rounds, split the round, stack the splits and let time do its thing. When the wood turns grey with split or cracked ends it is ready to burn. This works for me.
It will not turn gray if it is not exposed to sun, but can still be dried if under a roof. Also, wood that is rained on will still turn gray if exposed to sun, but it may not be very dry. How dry it should be also depends on the intended use. I have a Tulikivi thermal mass storage fireplace, and its efficiency is maximized by burning dry wood as rapidly as possible, so that as much heat is transferred to the thermal mass as possible while minimizing the amount of air going up the chimney. Wood stove users may prefer a slower burn.
 

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