i would love to be the authority that receives such a call: caller: "yes hello my neighbors sawmill is discoloring my new granite steps..."
me: "hmmm....well you see here maam the problem is that your an idiot....have a nice day" click.
Funny you should say that. While unrelated, I can relate something you may appreciate...
Many years ago I was a police officer in a small Massachusetts town. One cop on duty at a time, very rural area but was being built up rapidly in the early and mid 80's. We had people building 1/2 million dollars homes in the wooded area on the edge of a sandpit. For years, the sandpit had been abandoned and was used primarily as a night time party spot and daytime dirt bike riding area, both 'illegal' activities, but it kept the young people off the streets and basically out of trouble. As the new people built houses and moved in, we would get numerous calls of "dirt bikes in the sand pit", disturbing the peace and tranquility of the newcomers. This went on for 3 or 4 years; what could we do? The pits were barely accessible by dirt bike, let alone a Ford Crown Vic cruiser. Some officers would walk into the pits and surprise the participants, even making a few arrests from time to time, but it was time consuming and potentially dangerous if the cops attitude rubbed the crowd the wrong way. Even with backup from nearby towns we'd be outnumbered 30 to 1.
A lot of the new comers eventually resigned themselves to the fact that they'd moved into an area where an activity had been going on for years and it wasn't going to change, but there was one guy who got MORE adamant that this dirt bike activity had to cease. He'd call 3 or 4 times in one shift to complain and demand something be done. One Sunday when I was on duty he called complaining that there were "dirt bikes in the pit". I'd had enough of being politically correct and polite. I pulled into his driveway to find him standing at the edge of his lawn, looking out over the pits. I joined him in observing the goings-on in the pits, didn't say anything, and after about 30 seconds he turned and looked at me and said, "Well"? I looked at him, then back out to the pit, grabbed my radio off my belt and told the dispatcher, "The caller is absolutely correct, there are dirt bikes in the pit. I'll be clear, resuming patrol."
I heard about that Monday morning from the Chief.