Perhaps somebody from say, Texas, would fly up and be a sherpa for you? You could then coach them on the art of packing heavy gear on a near vertical slope, with nothing but blackberry vines or devil's club or salmonberry to grab hold on if you have a hand free to make a vegetation belay. You could fill their ears with your wisdom, as you tell them how to negotiate the slope, "Point your toes while you are somersaulting, dammit! And don't let that saw roll down the hill!" Ah yes, maybe they'd even pay you or bring out some Donettos for such an experience.
I think that the Texas guys I know might actually work out pretty good. Most of them are tough and resourceful. I think that's required just to live in that state. They don't have any steep ground in Texas but Texans almost always have a sense of humor. You can teach a guy to log on cow face ground but you can't teach them how to laugh at the rough spots. The boys from the southern states would be okay, too. Most of them anyway.
Some of those guys from the midwest might be a little short on how-to though. Iowa comes to mind. A few other states too...mostly states East of the Rockies and ending with the letter N. Maybe I'm wrong about some of the midwest guys . Since a lot of them already know everything they might be easy to train. We'd find out soon enough.
I don't know about the
wisdom part but I might have some
advice for them. Like you said, if you start to slide, let go of the saw. Saws are expensive, good ones are hard to replace, and they don't take well to being bounced off of stumps and rocks. Plus, the sooner you let go of the saw the less distance you'll have to pack it back up the hill. And you
will go back up the hill if you want to finish your job and stay employed. If not, just keep going downhill 'til you get to the road. Catch a truck for town if any of them will stop for you.
Let go of your lunch bucket too. It will give the rest of the crew something to do while you're plowing ground and they probably won't eat
everything.
Ignore the rude comments and coarse attempts at humor from the other guys. They mean well, mostly, and it might be their turn next. That thought might cheer you up some.
While you're at the bottom of your slide it's a good idea to keep looking up. If there's bucked timber up hill from you it might be a good idea to angle your climb off to one side or the other. If somebody above you starts a saw try to move a little faster so you don't hold up their production. It's not their fault that you're a klutz and they need to make a living, too.
If you get scraped up try to keep it to yourself. If you can walk you can work and unless the blood is running down into your eyes and obscuring your vision there's no reason not to start cutting again. Cussing is allowed, though...if you have any wind left after climbing back up the hill.
Vegetation belays are alright...if the vegetation is sturdy enough. Sometimes brushy ground is a good thing. But slick spring grass and ferns don't give you much to hang onto. Not for very long anyway.
They wouldn't have to pay me. The entertainment would be worth it. Maybe I'd wind up with some YouTube videos or something to sell to that TV show that likes accidents and disasters.
I like the Donettos idea.
