My wife took me to the Indiana State Fair in a wheelchair yesterday. I was offered nutritious foods like deep-fried Reeses peanut butter cups, deep-fried Snickers bars and deep-fried TWINKIES. Do you believe the crap that people will eat. They had deep fried pickles! I was willing to try deep-fried cotton candy, but the dude at the concession wouldn't put it in his deep fryer. "The how bout deep-fried ice cream? I'd like a deep-fried MILKSHAKE , please." and she wheeled me away.
Elizabeth is quite the nutrition girl and was trying to get me to eat something healthy. They actually had deep-fried broccoli. I was more in line for a funnel cake. "How bout a grilled cheese sandwich?" she asks. "How bout a sugar-coated deep-fried stick of butter!"
This is Indiana, and I love my Hoosiers, but at the state fair there is a higher per capita concentration of rednecks than at WalMart on a Saturday night; and just less than that of a Monster Truck rally. I grew up out in the sticks, raised on a farm, and much of my upbringing was kinda rednecky. I escaped by getting a college education, and then Elizabeth erased any remnants of redneck from my psyche,... except for when the State Fair is in town. Then i want to put on a torn AC/DC shirt and turn my NASCAR hat around backwards. She won't have it, though.
"Why do they let their beer guts hang out from under their shirt", my princess asked. "Because that's how their husbands like it. Now quit bein judgemental about my Kin."
We didn't do any of the rides because I would have had to stand on one leg in line until I one-legged hopped on to the ride. I didn't miss out, though. I made my own ride. I called it 'Playin chicken with redneck kids'. I would just make sure they saw me coming, and then I'd fly toward em going, "Look out, look out, Outta control wheelchair!" I mean, when else can you enjoy an event such as that, I mean, it's not likely that even a redneck dad is going to punch out a cripple.
Anyway, it was really nice to get out of the house for a change. I had a great time. She was rather exhausted, or maybe the word is 'disgusted'. Today we're still married and talking and I can hide my inner redneck for another year.