Ponder these numbers, tree guys---

[Tree Pig]

Catching a monkey is easy. All you do is get a coconut and put a walnut sized hole in it, then put a smaller nut in the coconut. Let them see you do it, then walk away. Before you know it the boldest monkey will come over and put his hand in the coconut to get the treat you put there for him.

Once the monkey has the treat in his hand he can't pull his hand out of the coconut. At that point he's yours because he's not smart enough to let it go.

I'm in my mid sixties but I'd love for one of you feces flinging monkeys to man up and try that in person. It's easy to act like monkeys with a keyboard. You should nominate someone to step up and take the bait.

So much for your new years resolution

The monkey is warming up to give AA another kick in the face.

[video=youtube;eCSGpRlExKM]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eCSGpRlExKM[/video]


I nominate FTA to "take the bait" then either way one of you is getting your ass kicked and we all win.

In Ct its a separate crime to assault someone over 60 so your safe. If you would learn to keep your delusional world to your self you would do a lot better in here.

Thats the problem with OLD PEOPLE... They think they know everything and dont listen to an f---ing word anyone has to say.

This may help

 

[pdqdl]

Enough about the monkeys, guys. Let's talk trees.

OK, so basically it's too low of a price. That's exactly what I thought, but I knew this HO wouldn't take my bid because I knew who else was coming over to bid that thing. I just walked in that back yard, and said, "****." I knew right away there was nothing there for me but a head ache specially wrapped with care and greedy smiles from a cheap hag herself. LOL No really. I blurted $2,000 to see how the conversation would go from there. I knew $2,000 was low for full blown tree services, yet her reaction was that $2,000 was just out of line with her.

When I am closing the sale, the only reaction that concerns me is whether the customer says "Yes", or "No".

All the noise, complaints, comments, or questions that happen before they give you an answer are part of the sales process. Most customers are more than willing to talk you into loosing money, so whatever noise they make prior to saying "Yes" is unimportant.

If they say no, well...you just need to decide if they were right to complain about your high price.


By the way; how come no one has mentioned disposal costs in their various remarks. I seem to recall that disposal fees are pretty high in San Diego.

 

[the Aerialist]

Enough about the monkeys, guys. Let's talk trees.

Indeed. I tire of the monkey business, all they do is bring me down to their level.

When I am closing the sale, the only reaction that concerns me is whether the customer says "Yes", or "No".

All the noise, complaints, comments, or questions that happen before they give you an answer are part of the sales process. Most customers are more than willing to talk you into loosing money, so whatever noise they make prior to saying "Yes" is unimportant.

If they say no, well...you just need to decide if they were right to complain about your high price.


By the way; how come no one has mentioned disposal costs in their various remarks. I seem to recall that disposal fees are pretty high in San Diego.

To close the sale I verbally give them my price, but tell them that the "official" price quote will come in an email. I ask them to respond to that when they have made their decision, and after they have gotten any competing offers. I caution them about lowball bidders in this economy, and may even tell them my favorite lowball bid story. When I send the email I may throw in an additional freebie, or inducement but I never change a quote once given.

Their response to my price quote email becomes our contract because the work and my price for it is clearly laid out. No customer has ever tried to beat me on this quoted price. And I've never had trouble getting paid. I screen my potential customers during my onsite "evaluation". They evaluate me, but I also evaluate them. If I perceive any problems I'll just throw a huge price at them which usually deters them. It's worth it to lose a few rather than have a problem customer.

I'm really fortunate to have developed a place to dump my debris that is less than half a mile from my operation. It's a private landfill that PennDot uses and has nearly unlimited space to dump. Every week or so a PennDot crew brings in a big wheel loader to push their tons of road debris over the hill, my small (by comparison) wood waste goes right along with it.

 

[tree MDS]

Indeed. I tire of the monkey business, all they do is bring me down to their level.



To close the sale I verbally give them my price, but tell them that the "official" price quote will come in an email. I ask them to respond to that when they have made their decision, and after they have gotten any competing offers. I caution them about lowball bidders in this economy, and may even tell them my favorite lowball bid story. When I send the email I may throw in an additional freebie, or inducement but I never change a quote once given.

Their response to my price quote email becomes our contract because the work and my price for it is clearly laid out. No customer has ever tried to beat me on this quoted price. And I've never had trouble getting paid. I screen my potential customers during my onsite "evaluation". They evaluate me, but I also evaluate them. If I perceive any problems I'll just throw a huge price at them which usually deters them. It's worth it to lose a few rather than have a problem customer.

I'm really fortunate to have developed a place to dump my debris that is less than half a mile from my operation. It's a private landfill that PennDot uses and has nearly unlimited space to dump. Every week or so a PennDot crew brings in a big wheel loader to push their tons of road debris over the hill, my small (by comparison) wood waste goes right along with it.

Sounds good. You're really learning to talk the talk.

MDS.

 

[the Aerialist]

And I walk the walk ...

Sounds good. You're really learning to talk the talk...

I'm a people person, most people enjoy dealing with me because I'm a straight shooter and always try to over deliver for my customers. If you're my friend I'm always willing to help out or back you up.

I'm well educated and experienced with the way of the World. I've found that doing what you say you'll do can often be harder than you think, but my word is my bond and I deliver, regardless of the personal cost.

And you know what MDS, if you and 101 came to my house to kick my but you'd end up having a good time and leave finding that you actually like me. Even if you did manage to kick my butt.

 

[treeclimber101]

I'm a people person, most people enjoy dealing with me because I'm a straight shooter and always try to over deliver for my customers. If you're my friend I'm always willing to help out or back you up.

I'm well educated and experienced with the way of the World. I've found that doing what you say you'll do can often be harder than you think, but my word is my bond and I deliver, regardless of the personal cost.

And you know what MDS, if you and 101 came to my house to kick my but you'd end up having a good time and leave finding that you actually like me. Even if you did manage to kick my butt.

Doug I already told you I don't beat up on ol ####s or the handicapped and there's a bit of you in both those categories , and as for MDS I wouldn't worry about him because the bus doesn't run that far and he is a skinny #### anyway my 10 year old daughter could prolly take him out . But I can guarantee we both terrified of the guerilla mits anyhow so we'll stay away

 

[tree MDS]

Doug I already told you I don't beat up on ol ####s or the handicapped and there's a bit of you in both those categories , and as for MDS I wouldn't worry about him because the bus doesn't run that far and he is a skinny #### anyway my 10 year old daughter could prolly take him out . But I can guarantee we both terrified of the guerilla mits anyhow so we'll stay away

And what guerrilla mitts would those be??

 

[tree MDS]

Doug I already told you I don't beat up on ol ####s or the handicapped and there's a bit of you in both those categories , and as for MDS I wouldn't worry about him because the bus doesn't run that far and he is a skinny #### anyway my 10 year old daughter could prolly take him out . But I can guarantee we both terrified of the guerilla mits anyhow so we'll stay away

As far as AA goes, I would probably sweep the leg, and then have you sit on him.. lol, that'd be sure to do the trick!

 

[the Aerialist]

A photo is worth 1,000 words ...

Doug I already told you I don't beat up on ol ####s or the handicapped and there's a bit of you in both those categories , and as for MDS I wouldn't worry about him because the bus doesn't run that far and he is a skinny #### anyway my 10 year old daughter could prolly take him out . But I can guarantee we both terrified of the guerilla mits anyhow so we'll stay away

Yeah I saw the photos with the swords. And it's amiable that you don't beat up the old and infirm, but even at my age and with my handicaps, in a sword fight I'd still do pretty well. Even with only my money clip:

I always address the biggest threat first, but that doesn't mean size. Us little skinny guys are often at an advantage when it comes to edged weapons. MDS might be fast if alcohol has not lengthened his response time. And I know he's mean, so I'd dance with him first. That is if what I pulled out of my money clip first didn't tempt him.

 

[treeclimber101]

Yeah I saw the photos with the swords. And it's amiable that you don't beat up the old and infirm, but even at my age and with my handicaps, in a sword fight I'd still do pretty well. Even with only my money clip:

I always address the biggest threat first, but that doesn't mean size. Us little skinny guys are often at an advantage when it comes to edged weapons. MDS might be fast if alcohol has not lengthened his response time. And I know he's mean, so I'd dance with him first. That is if what I pulled out of my money clip first didn't tempt him.

that's funny doug I will give ya that but MDS is only mean when he's drunk so if ya get him before 512pm your good , but as for me I don't really fight anymore and you know us jersey guys we never bring a sword to a gun fight either , but I have a gun anyway .. So I am out of that maybe I will just hang out with ya drink all your beer mud bog the colorado and dance with your girl .... And in the morning we can go toss that lawnmower in the lake together and share a lefty ... That's how I roll

 

[tree MDS]

Yeah I saw the photos with the swords. And it's amiable that you don't beat up the old and infirm, but even at my age and with my handicaps, in a sword fight I'd still do pretty well. Even with only my money clip:

I always address the biggest threat first, but that doesn't mean size. Us little skinny guys are often at an advantage when it comes to edged weapons. MDS might be fast if alcohol has not lengthened his response time. And I know he's mean, so I'd dance with him first. That is if what I pulled out of my money clip first didn't tempt him.

Photocopied $100's just don't do it for me gramps, sorry. And you would probably break your own arm off swinging that little thing around.. in a meth induced frenzy. lol.

 

[lone wolf]

Its not the tough guys or the strongest guy its the guy who aint afraid of jail you have to watch!

 

[the Aerialist]

Please skip this post if you don't want to read off topic ramblings ...

As far as AA goes, I would probably sweep the leg, and then have you sit on him.. lol, that'd be sure to do the trick!

Ha I knew it, you are fast! I'd be looking for that move from you MDS. You should know I had a full boat wrestling scholarship at Kent State and had been training since Jr High school to get there. That was more than 50 years ago but I did have a chance to leg sweep a good 'ole boy (like I'm sure 101 is) in the local bar recently.

It was all good natured and no actual malice on anyone's part. The guy had just lent me his dump truck for a couple of jobs when the clutch went out in mine. I went there to buy him and his hunting buddies some beers. He shouted down the bar at his buddies: "It's hard to believe he's 65 years old!" and of course after three drinks with them I replied: "not only that, but I can whoop and man's but in this bar!"

Of course Big Mike (and he is big) said "I don't know about that" and came off his stool. I walked around to meet him expecting to grab-arse around a bit and he extended a big mitt to me fingers extended and I thought we were literally going to play dance, as it was all in fun, joking around, so I let him have my hand, by interlocking my fighters with his. His right hand, my left, as if we were going to Waltz around a bit for the onlookers.

That was a big mistake as Mike wanted to show me how strong he was by squeezing my hand. He crushed it and I tried to extricate my poor little hand buy pulling him towards me. I rotated to the right, away from him but left my hip for him to bump into. when he did I swept his legs out from under him and dropped him to the floor. Him being pretty drunk didn't help him out any.

I landed right on top of him, face to face and said "hey Mike, we're playing right?" he was red faced and holding his breath and I was picked up and when Mike got up we hugged and patted each other's backs 'cause now the owner was there and peedoff about the disturbance.

She knows us both pretty well and when we were all smiling she did too. Some people in the bar thought it was a real fight, and for me it was, a fight to get my hand back before he broke it.

 

[the Aerialist]

Its not the tough guys or the strongest guy its the guy who aint afraid of jail you have to watch!

Or is smart enough to stay out of it. (and the can either mean the fight or the jail)

 

[tree MDS]

Ha I knew it, you are fast! I'd be looking for that move from you MDS. You should know I had a full boat wrestling scholarship at Kent State and had been training since Jr High school to get there. That was more than 50 years ago but I did have a chance to leg sweep a good 'ole boy (like I'm sure 101 is) in the local bar recently.

It was all good natured and no actual malice on anyone's part. The guy had just lent me his dump truck for a couple of jobs when the clutch went out in mine. I went there to buy him and his hunting buddies some beers. He shouted down the bar at his buddies: "It's hard to believe he's 65 years old!" and of course after three drinks with them I replied: "not only that, but I can whoop and man's but in this bar!"

Of course Big Mike (and he is big) said "I don't know about that" and came off his stool. I walked around to meet him expecting to grab-arse around a bit and he extended a big mitt to me fingers extended and I thought we were literally going to play dance, as it was all in fun, joking around, so I let him have my hand, by interlocking my fighters with his. His right hand, my left, as if we were going to Waltz around a bit for the onlookers.

That was a big mistake as Mike wanted to show me how strong he was by squeezing my hand. He crushed it and I tried to extricate my poor little hand buy pulling him towards me. I rotated to the right, away from him but left my hip for him to bump into. when he did I swept his legs out from under him and dropped him to the floor. Him being pretty drunk didn't help him out any.

I landed right on top of him, face to face and said "hey Mike, we're playing right?" he was red faced and holding his breath and I was picked up and when Mike got up we hugged and patted each other's backs 'cause now the owner was there and peedoff about the disturbance.

She knows us both pretty well and when we were all smiling she did too. Some people in the bar thought it was a real fight, and for me it was, a fight to get my hand back before he broke it.

Oh goody, more bad fiction! opcorn:

I just might have to actually fire up the quickbooks here yet today. yawn.

 

[treeclimber101]

Ha I knew it, you are fast! I'd be looking for that move from you MDS. You should know I had a full boat wrestling scholarship at Kent State and had been training since Jr High school to get there. That was more than 50 years ago but I did have a chance to leg sweep a good 'ole boy (like I'm sure 101 is) in the local bar recently.

It was all good natured and no actual malice on anyone's part. The guy had just lent me his dump truck for a couple of jobs when the clutch went out in mine. I went there to buy him and his hunting buddies some beers. He shouted down the bar at his buddies: "It's hard to believe he's 65 years old!" and of course after three drinks with them I replied: "not only that, but I can whoop and man's but in this bar!"

Of course Big Mike (and he is big) said "I don't know about that" and came off his stool. I walked around to meet him expecting to grab-arse around a bit and he extended a big mitt to me fingers extended and I thought we were literally going to play dance, as it was all in fun, joking around, so I let him have my hand, by interlocking my fighters with his. His right hand, my left, as if we were going to Waltz around a bit for the onlookers.

That was a big mistake as Mike wanted to show me how strong he was by squeezing my hand. He crushed it and I tried to extricate my poor little hand buy pulling him towards me. I rotated to the right, away from him but left my hip for him to bump into. when he did I swept his legs out from under him and dropped him to the floor. Him being pretty drunk didn't help him out any.

I landed right on top of him, face to face and said "hey Mike, we're playing right?" he was red faced and holding his breath and I was picked up and when Mike got up we hugged and patted each other's backs 'cause now the owner was there and peedoff about the disturbance.

She knows us both pretty well and when we were all smiling she did too. Some people in the bar thought it was a real fight, and for me it was, a fight to get my hand back before he broke it.

doug I don't fight anymore but you would need a gun or knife for me cause I will just slam someone into things until jelly comes out there ears but again I don't really have any interest in hurting anyone anymore unless they #### with my food bowl , and I hardly go to the bar unless the foods good I have turned over a new leaf and just smile and walk away knowing that I am doing you the favor .... The last fight I was in 10 years ago came close last week with a trash man but he walked away when I started to go ghetto on him.. He knew that we would both be hurting if it came to blows

 

[Tree Pig]

Ha I knew it, you are fast! I'd be looking for that move from you MDS. You should know I had a full boat wrestling scholarship at Kent State and had been training since Jr High school to get there. That was more than 50 years ago but I did have a chance to leg sweep a good 'ole boy (like I'm sure 101 is) in the local bar recently.

It was all good natured and no actual malice on anyone's part. The guy had just lent me his dump truck for a couple of jobs when the clutch went out in mine. I went there to buy him and his hunting buddies some beers. He shouted down the bar at his buddies: "It's hard to believe he's 65 years old!" and of course after three drinks with them I replied: "not only that, but I can whoop and man's but in this bar!"

Of course Big Mike (and he is big) said "I don't know about that" and came off his stool. I walked around to meet him expecting to grab-arse around a bit and he extended a big mitt to me fingers extended and I thought we were literally going to play dance, as it was all in fun, joking around, so I let him have my hand, by interlocking my fighters with his. His right hand, my left, as if we were going to Waltz around a bit for the onlookers.

That was a big mistake as Mike wanted to show me how strong he was by squeezing my hand. He crushed it and I tried to extricate my poor little hand buy pulling him towards me. I rotated to the right, away from him but left my hip for him to bump into. when he did I swept his legs out from under him and dropped him to the floor. Him being pretty drunk didn't help him out any.

I landed right on top of him, face to face and said "hey Mike, we're playing right?" he was red faced and holding his breath and I was picked up and when Mike got up we hugged and patted each other's backs 'cause now the owner was there and peedoff about the disturbance.

She knows us both pretty well and when we were all smiling she did too. Some people in the bar thought it was a real fight, and for me it was, a fight to get my hand back before he broke it.

Oh goody, more bad fiction! opcorn:

Any experienced interrogator will tell you that one of the things that set off bells that someone is telling a lie is they ad in too much detail.

 

[the Aerialist]

I could roll with that ...

that's funny doug I will give ya that but MDS is only mean when he's drunk so if ya get him before 512pm your good , but as for me I don't really fight anymore and you know us jersey guys we never bring a sword to a gun fight either , but I have a gun anyway .. So I am out of that maybe I will just hang out with ya drink all your beer mud bog the colorado and dance with your girl .... And in the morning we can go toss that lawnmower in the lake together and share a lefty ... That's how I roll

You know 101 I'm starting to like you already. I put a set of wheels and tires on the Colorado off a Hummer so I'm ready take it in the woods. That's a big thing around here and guys build special trucks just for that. Hmmn, maybe I'll drop the 454 in the Colorado if that's our game.

I'm not worried about you dancing with the wife, I know her well and she'd just knee you where it hurts most if you got out of line. But I'm sure you would be on your best behavior 101, men tend to do that when in the presence of an Angel on this Earthly World.

And in the morning I'd let you hook your truck to my tractor and pull it into a remote pond up in the woods behind my house. That's how I roll

 

[tree MDS]

You know 101 I'm starting to like you already. I put a set of wheels and tires on the Colorado off a Hummer so I'm ready take it in the woods. That's a big thing around here and guys build special trucks just for that. Hmmn, maybe I'll drop the 454 in the Colorado if that's our game.

I'm not worried about you dancing with the wife, I know her well and she'd just knee you where it hurts most if you got out of line. But I'm sure you would be on your best behavior 101, men tend to do that when in the presence of an Angel on this Earthly World.

And in the morning I'd let you hook your truck to my tractor and pull it into a remote pond up in the woods behind my house. That's how I roll

I'll go if we can bring a giant catapult, and ratchet strap you to the seat of the steiner too!!

 

[Tree Pig]

e.

I'm not worried about you dancing with the wife, I know her well and she'd just knee you where it hurts most if you got out of line. But I'm sure you would be on your best behavior 101, men tend to do that when in the presence of an Angel on this Earthly World.

Oh great I just threw up in my mouth again... grrrrrr