So I was trimming this palm tree...

[EdenT]

Dear Diary

Dear Diary,

The men are in great spirits. Appointing SoM as morale officer has paid off manyfold however I do have some reservations. Firstly, while it is true that the men have stopped fighting, NC and TMD are now swapping recipes and discussing gluten free 'lifestyles'. I find this slightly disturbing.

Secondly, SoM has ventured into paganism and idolatry by creating a temple of minor gods. While this is keeping morale up, I fear we may turn God against us with this heretical worship.

Work is progressing well in deciphering the Nephite writings. The Nephite were a morbid lot and obsessed with death as are many who deal with Phoenix palms . The latest translations are -

This is the symbol for death, or a dead person.

This is thought to be the symbol for a coffin. It is strange because according to the academic texts there should be a circle inside it to indicate the person within.

This image shows an unburied corpse. When it is drawn in a coffin the arms are omitted. This offers some insight as to the lack of occupant in the previous symbol.

This is the image for a burial mound or grave.

This hieroglyph is the most perplexing. We can not find anything even close to it in the reference texts. We shall just have to persevere.

In God we trust
opcorn:

 

[jefflovstrom]

EDEN, I kinda feel like reppin you for all the work you have obviosly got so caught up in. (like the way I spell obviosly-- like the Egyptians!)

Dear Diary, I hope some day I can learn? I know I can if they will teach me-- oh, I hope they like me because I really want to know!

Now to OOMT, you should get back in your tree, why would you think someone is a liar or fake unless you are? Why would guys that have been climbing since the 70"s and doing production ( not like in "production "meaning- bringing a film crew-duh!. BTW- I will cut hairs!
Jeff Lovstrom
Heres your rep Eden

 

[EdenT]

Dear Diary

Dear Diary

The weather continues to deteriorate. We are running low on supplies. Our best runner, Snowy Mike, was unable to make it to the supply base today, despite his pony express heritage. He will attempt the journey again on the morrow.

I am convinced there is a spy in the camp. I think they may even have read my journal. Lovstrom seems to know my every thought in advance. Maybe I am just imagining it and my mind is succumbing to the burden of work, in which we must all partake, in order to solve the mysteries of the Nephite tablet.

Last night we focused on the animalistic symbols etched into the stone disc. It was eventually decided that there were four, though many argued only three, animal symbols.

Firstly the easiest to decipher there were the two bird symbols. The first

is quite clearly Corvus corax of the CORVIDAE or common raven. It is thought to be a harbinger, an omen of change. The second

is a Phoenix flamibilus of the MYTHIDAE or common phoenix, believed to symbolise rebirth and a new beginning by many academics. In this context however I suspect that a more literal interpretation may be required.

The next symbol was for what was clearly a member of the CANIDAE.

After consultation with many ancient texts of biological systematics, we discovered it was the now extinct species, Forpedus giganticus. This dog was somewhat of a freak in the canine family because its front legs were almost twice as long as its back legs. This had a debilitating effect on its locomotive abilities, and as a result it was a carrion feeder.

The symbol which caused the most consternation was this.

It has caused somewhat of a rift. On the one side there are those who say it’s an animal and when asked its binomial designation offer ‘frozen turkey’. The other side maintain it is a depiction of the digestive organs of a rat. As both of these possibilities seem unlikely I am keeping an open mind.

I must return to my work.

In God we trust.
opcorn:

 

[jefflovstrom]

I don't know what to say!
Jeff

 

[EdenT]

Dear Diary

Dear Diary,

BLASPHEMY!!! I have heard rumor that SoM has further transgressed the limits of our monotheistic beliefs. He has developed a cult following and they worship climbers who have overly developed gonad structures. They have even appointed a Tribal Shaman. Treevet however seems unconcerned. He says that all climbing lines lead to the one true God. He knows this ‘Tribal Shaman’ and says he is a climber of great repute and a man of peace. I am sure this will create problems later on but for the moment will accept Treevet’s counsel for tolerance.

Work has progressed well today as we focused on the culture of the Nephite. I suppose it is our shared human link that made these concepts so easy to identify. The first symbol we deciphered was what I initially took to be tears

and I was once again proven correct. This symbol indicates sorrow, sadness or grief.

This symbol,

is a depiction of two plates (of food) and translates to a dinner, or meal, possibly a formal affair.

The lightning bolt

has quite negative connotations and implies a really bad thing, or disaster of some kind.

The Nephite never cease to amaze me. I was astounded to learn that they were accomplished physicians and the symbol

means medicine. It is formed by the depiction of an early razor blade and spoon no doubt utilized in the preparation of their ancient pharmaceuticals.

The last symbol translated today was slightly more troublesome.

We initially took it to be an eye, but upon further investigation discovered it had darker and more sinister connotations. It literally translates to ‘the dead eyes open’ and refers to an unhappy spirit or a soul that cannot lay down to rest. I normally pay little heed to stories of ghosts but this symbol makes me feel uneasy.

I have to turn in now. We have an early start tomorrow.

In God we trust
opcorn:

 

[ForTheArborist]

You might have come undone here. Let's not get out there tooooo far.

For Pete's sake, snap out of it, son.

 

[EdenT]

Dear Diary Part 1 of 2

Dear Diary,
I have given a commitment to the men to have this tablet deciphered by New Years Day and by God I will live up to that promise. In truth I am exhausted but I dare not let anyone see what this quest is costing me lest they lose heart themselves. Of course there are the naysayers in our ranks but little heed is given to them by anyone. On a more positive note our camp has grown to well over a hundred able bodied, sharp minded, superbly trained Arborists. Given that in the words of some, I am merely a ‘want to be arborist’, I am honored by the commitment and loyalty of this superb group of climbing men and women.

I have just been informed that the entire scholarly contingent decided to continue work around the clock, while I slept. Not only that but many of their number refuse to stand down from duty even now and continue their labors. As a result we have made extra progress.

The scholars spent most of the night working on the units of measure used by the Nephite in day to day life. The symbol

is a depiction of three halflegs. A halfleg is equivalent to the approximate distance between the ankle and the knee. Furthermore they used a binary number system so two halflegs are equal to a leg (rather than 10 as would occur in our own decimal system of counting. This depiction shows three halflegs or one halfleg and one leg.

The symbol

is a measuring stick to show an objects relative height. Where two appear within a single line such as here it is a comparative value to show how much something has grown or shrunk.

The star symbol

interestingly has nothing to do with astronomy but is more concerned with a measure of the skills and experience of a person. A star indicates a person of great skill and/or experience.

 

[EdenT]

Dear Diary Part 2 of 2

The next area of work was performed on domestic objects that are recorded in great detail in the Nephite translation texts.

The Nephite recorded their beds by drawing a horizontal block. If the bed was occupied then, just like with the coffin a circle was drawn above it. The symbol

also has a peculiar bump drawn on top of the bed. After many hours of tedious study a fable about a princess with a pea in her bed revealed that they were trying to illustrate an uncomfortable bed, perhaps with lumps in it.
The next symbol decoded was

which as anybody can see is a portal or door. Apparently this was the Nephite way of indicating time. If the door was drawn closed as it is here it indicated the morning when the Nephite went off to work, closing their dwellings until such a time when they returned home, when the door was depicted open.
The

which everyone initially thought was a grand piano is actually the depiction for a set of stairs or steps.
Finally the symbol which had been perplexing us

was finally solved by RopeN. The scholars were arguing vociferously at about 3am when they woke RopeN up. He swaggered into their tent jangling his spurs, with a top handled saw slung real low on his hip and being a man of few words said ‘what?’ The terrified scholars could barely even speak and simply showed him the tablet and pointed to the contentious mark. He looked it over for a moment and then said ‘typo, now shut the hell up’ and left. The academics immediately saw that the ancient Nephite scribe had indeed made a typo whilst trying to depict a grave symbol and recreated the same symbol without the typo immediately below the error.

I must get to work now.

In God we trust
opcorn:

 

[ROOTSXROCKS]

Now I wouldn't Argue with a sage like Ropensaddle, but that

is obviously a Washingtonian palm frond with the infamous broken petiole that causes the dangerous cascade

 

[ROOTSXROCKS]

worship climbers who have overly developed gonad structures.

and the oposite symbol for All others like myself that are skeered of them nasty Phoenix

 

[treevet]

worship climbers who have overly developed gonad structures.

and the oposite symbol for

All others like myself that are skeered of them nasty

shouldn't this symbol, the opposite of the above symbol, be arranged perpendicular to how you have it?

 

[ROOTSXROCKS]

Mind in the Gutter

shouldn't this symbol, the opposite of the above symbol, be arranged perpendicular to how you have it?

I don't know what your talking about I was thinking the opposite was just lip service.

 

[treevet]

I don't know what your talking about I was thinking the opposite was just lip service.

That sounds fishy to me.

 

[jomoco]

While this thread is derailing towards the angel moroni in salt lake city, I thought it might be interesting to lend a local's perspective on mex fan palms.

The danger of bags rotting off the main trunk and dropping onto climbers below them is well known among SoCal veteran arborists.

Even as a teen I quickly realised that top down was the prime ticket to speed and efficiency in wash fans, and that a 40 foot ladder was a highway to money heaven in over 50 percent of the fans in SOCal.

Then there was the trick of parking the chiptruck next to the palm and placing the ladder on the roof of the dumpbox to gain an extra 10-12 feet!

A very tall wiry groundmen working for my brothers in LA, had a strange genetic makeup that gave him the appearance of an overgrown elf, and therefore very little luck with the ladies of the 80's.

Borrowing my brother's equipment, he does a weekend fan palm job for himself, using the ladder on the dumpbox routine, which still leaves him 5 feet short of the green fronds over 50 feet up. So rather than belting in there and pruning his way up, he climbs off the ladder towards the head confident he can reach the top before belting in. But while free climbing towards the green head a rat ran up his arm startling him to the point he let go and fell about 15 feet before hitting the ladder with his face, slowing him enough to save his life after bouncing off the ladder a few times before hitting the ground in pieces.

But after 6 months of plastic surgery rebuilding his face and knitting his overgrown bones back together, he came out of the experience considerably more handsome atleast facially, and babes much easier for him to obtain, and life in general for him atleast, much better and gratifying!

True story!

Must have something to do with Californication!

jomoco

 

[jefflovstrom]

He cannot be more pretty than you- oh, you are not pretty!
Jeff

 

[treevet]

this might be the tech he was in need of jomoco....(funny what you run into when you are bored)

http://www.wendmag.com/blog/2009/12/25/palm-tree-climbing-in-indonesia/

 

[EdenT]

Dear Diary

Dear Diary,
The excitement in the camp as we draw closer to the conclusion of our task is palpable. It is causing some problems however. Even seasoned officers such as Treevet and Roots are attempting to second guess the scholarly translations of the Nephite message. While their efforts in maintaining morale and making breakthroughs at critical times has been fantastic, I fear a loss of discipline at this point could have an adverse impact on our understanding of the Nephite secrets.

The erosion of discipline has already cost us many hours. The newly appointed ‘Tribal Shaman’, supported by a contingent of SoMs large gonad cult came to the research tent and proceeded to interrupt all work. He questioned the interpretation of

as a rear handled chainsaw and ardently maintained it looked more like a hand saw or possibly a pair of pruning secateurs in a pouch. It was only after many hours of vigorous exchange that one of the academics realised that the Tribal Shaman was looking at the symbol from the wrong direction, backwards in fact. The academic redrew the symbol on a piece of parchment like this

, at which point even the Tribal Shaman had to begrudgingly admit that the similarity to a Huskie 262xp with a 20” bar was irrefutable.

The delay cost us a great deal of time and as a result we only managed to translate one other symbol. Fortunately we are close to our goal so provided we have no further distractions we should still be able to realise our aims.

The one symbol we managed to translate was

. First impressions were that it was a Triffid but we decided to reassess when Roots armed himself with two top handled saws and refused to come out of his tent. By the conclusion of the evenings study we had determined it was in fact the flowering head of a palm.

We are within striking distance of our goal now. We only have three more symbols to translate, and one ‘frozen turkey / rats digestive system’ to re-evaluate. Our work does not stop there however. All that we have achieved so far is a list of words and concepts. Our final task will be the contextual interpretation. If everything proceeds smoothly now, I am confident we shall know the Nephite palm pruning secrets on New Year’s Day. I pray that it is so. I am going to take a new year’s resolution to never look at a Nephite plate again unless it is through the scope of an RPG.

In God we trust
opcorn:

 

[ROOTSXROCKS]

While this thread is derailing towards the angel moroni in salt lake city, I thought it might be interesting to lend a local's perspective on mex fan palms.

The danger of bags rotting off the main trunk and dropping onto climbers below them is well known among SoCal veteran arborists.

Even as a teen I quickly realised that top down was the prime ticket to speed and efficiency in wash fans, and that a 40 foot ladder was a highway to money heaven in over 50 percent of the fans in SOCal.

Then there was the trick of parking the chiptruck next to the palm and placing the ladder on the roof of the dumpbox to gain an extra 10-12 feet!

A very tall wiry groundmen working for my brothers in LA, had a strange genetic makeup that gave him the appearance of an overgrown elf, and therefore very little luck with the ladies of the 80's.

Borrowing my brother's equipment, he does a weekend fan palm job for himself, using the ladder on the dumpbox routine, which still leaves him 5 feet short of the green fronds over 50 feet up. So rather than belting in there and pruning his way up, he climbs off the ladder towards the head confident he can reach the top before belting in. But while free climbing towards the green head a rat ran up his arm startling him to the point he let go and fell about 15 feet before hitting the ladder with his face, slowing him enough to save his life after bouncing off the ladder a few times before hitting the ground in pieces.

But after 6 months of plastic surgery rebuilding his face and knitting his overgrown bones back together, he came out of the experience considerably more handsome atleast facially, and babes much easier for him to obtain, and life in general for him atleast, much better and gratifying!

True story!

Must have something to do with Californication!

jomoco

Now Thats a hellofastory

 

[EdenT]

Dear Diary

Dear Diary,
We have completed as much as we can the literal translation of the Nephite pictograms. I have stood the men down to enjoy the festivities and see in the New Year. God knows they have earned the rest. I shall be joining the festivities myself as soon as I have recorded the last of our findings.

The last of the hieroglyphs we worked on today were concerned with human anatomy. Many of the men were quite embarrassed when it was revealed that the symbol

is actually a set of gonads. The reference to this pictogram was found in the ancient Nephite text ‘How to make Eunuchs for Dummies’. The glyph shown usually depicts the removal of the gonads once an applicant has successfully applied for the position as a court eunuch.
The symbol

is actually a combination of three other symbols. It is the lower arm and hand of a person which is normally depicted as

and the diagonal lines where the hand should be comes from the cooking texts and means mince, or minced. The inclusion of the ‘bad thing’ symbol makes us believe that the arm pictured has been very badly injured.
The final anatomical symbol is

. Once again the Nephite have opted for a non standard usage of their language. The waving hand is normally attached to a body and symbolises a bidding of farewell. The meaning of it drawn without the rest of the person attached is unclear but I am sure that clarity will be achieved in the full contextual translation.
We can still find no reference to the

symbol. I still do not subscribe to either the frozen turkey / rats digestive system interpretation. The lead researcher has once again assured me that once we understand the full context of the symbol its meaning will become clear. We shall all just have to wait until the final task is completed.

I shall now attend the festivities. Tonight before I turn in I shall pray that all Arborists in our camp and all around the world have a safe, healthy and prosperous new year and that their good fortune extends to their families and friends. Tomorrow we shall know the Nephite secrets of palm tree pruning.

In God we trust
opcorn:

 

[EdenT]

Dear Diary Part 1 of 7

Dear Diary,
The New Year has arrived and with it we have completed the translation and interpretation of the Nephite Plate. There is a deep sense of disappointment running through the entire camp. My own disappointment is overshadowed by the fact that we have completed this herculean task and I give thanks to God for that. The Nephite plate, rather than being an instructional manual for the safe and economical pruning of palm trees, is a morbid safety warning issued to the oldest of the old school Arborists. Herein follows a true and accurate record of the results of our study.