whadja do today?

[beastmaster]

We had to remove a canary island date palm that has fusarium. We had to do it with a single base cut. A crane was not an option although that would of been best. I took a guess at the weight and figured it at 5,000lbs, all the fronds were dead so we pulled them off and stripped the ball by hand until we had it ready to make the cut. I was concerned about the weight because I was guessing at it. Like I said, a crane would of been nice, but not an option due to several factors.
I rented a 10k forklift that was good for 6k at 20 feet, but I was still hoping it did not weigh more than I thought.
It worked out good, we were done in 2 hours. Total weight was at 4k lbs., minimum traffic control.
Jeff
View attachment 581725

Id of thought it'd of weight even more. Their some dense heavy palms
You guys used the forklift to remove it? Clever.

 

[treebilly]

Here's what I did today. Well besides setting up camp and cooking for 15 people. Gotta love a relaxing long weekend. It was definately a beautiful day!

 

[MSgtBob66]

A fifty foot ash, a forty foot pine and a little maple no bigger than Jeff's pecker. You grey beards and younger bucks that cut for a living would have laughed. I had a tight sphincter. Two hours, and the grinder to put tension in the direction I wanted (except Jeff's pecker), trees down. Three hours to clean up (two trips to the dump) and 15 minutes to grind.

God I love stump grinding!!! I get paid to wreck stuff, and I understand all of the risks!

Semper Fi!,

Bob

 

[DR. P. Proteus]

And just like that NO MORE HORSE FARM.

I was having fun up there the last few months mowing fields, shooting whistle pigs from the tractor will always be a fond memory but not as found as the handful of insane horse chicks I managed to, uh, well, a gentlemen doesn't tell...

I am no gentlemen, more like a gigalo with long hair and and ego the size of Texas. Well, at least now I do! Hey, they don't shave em fer nothing guys.

But that is not the reason I split.

The head horse **** is trying to impose upon The Dan in all his illustriousessnesses. Guys, this is one hard core hole ain't no man or beast could stop from flinging its gooey slimey pus from its flapping lips and onto a man like The Dan and The Dan don't have that.

Wait, what was I saying?

Oh, yeah, I quit.

And I am taking all my **** to auction cause my wife told me to stop working or else and I think she means it this time. I go through enough going rounds with her and I knew if I get trapped into another round with that crazy lady up there at the farm that somebody won't be getting up.



So far I got my big equipment off the court and all the guns, knives and stuff labeled as weapons back in the safe.

I was just about to get into with this really amazing 30 year old who just got engaged but I liked her to much. You ought to see this one mount a horse! Ahh, well, no more and I suppose its not so bad considering I don't think they make a condom for your tongue, doubt I'd use it anyways.

 

[DR. P. Proteus]

And with all the money from the auction I am going to pick up a little baggie of hitch pins and buy a plane ticket to Cali... RIVERSIDE! I heard so much about it, sounds like a nice place, hope to get a good job!

 

[DR. P. Proteus]

The big fat matriarch just had to let ring the grating high wretched wail of a displeased queen who only assumes she's queen in the first place. It the sound that brings men to fear or anger... or sheer dysfunction. Yup, that sound.

Hell, I like to go through all three, savor each moment.

But's its not very production oriented.

And at the wrong time to boot! WRONG TIME!

Its my fault though I suppose as I didn't go through my usual tree work disclaimer I use with most client's which states firstly and clearly about how I operate and what I tolerate.

Sure does. Goes through all that safety stuff right off the bat.


And I get KUDOS upon KUDOS from my peers about my safety structure. I get pissed if even just a nail gets broken.


I had told her to schedule a sit down with me so I could play her COWGIRLS in the SKY on my electrical geetar and motorboat her big ole ******* but she rather drive around, play head kunt, and holler through her phone at people.
Either that or light up my phone with messages and orders and demands, which I really, well, just no.

"NO MAAM!"

Al Bundy circa 1986?






And "texting"? Oh yeah, like I do that in my spare time. I don't. Nope. Just a 10 dollar cell phone I had for last 12 years, same one, works as good as the airwaves do.

So you know what I am talking about? That whole "phone thing" everybody does? I don't do it. The worst I do is come on here and maybe some occasional insanity on FB.

I know I would get nothing done if I had to carry one of the things around with me everywhere. I just use it to tell people where to meet me and what needs done. Other than that its just something that would get broken, cost more money and distraction and dysfunction at every corner.

Really, ever walk around a corner and there is someone rushing the other way looking at their phone? They run into you, say sorry, and as you watch them walk away bite back the urge to bring them down and start bashing in the skull? You know, don't lie and try to say you don't.

I approach corners like I was storming an Afghanistanian city even in the grocery store!

Other than that, I am out STANDING in the field! WORKING! Phone is in truck where its safe.

Ok, so maybe eating all that Tang wasn't very safe but hey! Its Tang! Its good stuff! How ya gonna say no?

I think this women just spent another few hundred on a new "badgering device" because the last one fell out of her tits and dropped into the ocean just before she crashed her waverunner into some dude and blamed him.

 

[DR. P. Proteus]

All this is because a little bit of the red carpet I have been lying down for her wasn't just quite suitable to her. And jealously sure had something to do with it.

I would say if she had been a man we would be fist fighting but in truth if it was a "man" there would be no need to fight what so ever.

Plus I was never much a fighter, more of a killer, like when they sleep. Less risk and safer that way.

 

[DR. P. Proteus]

See, The Dan does love to please women, ask them all and even wrote Cowgirls in the sky just for these fine horse chicks.

Now some of them have let me play it for them but some don't. The one's that don't get NOTHING and the one's that do get ALL the pleasure of knowing Him, The Dan, He that is risen, erect, yet again, and yet again.

 

[jefflovstrom]

See, The Dan does love to please women, ask them all and even wrote Cowgirls in the sky just for these fine horse chicks.

Now some of them have let me play it for them but some don't. The one's that don't get NOTHING and the one's that do get ALL the pleasure of knowing Him, The Dan, He that is risen, erect, yet again, and yet again.

Dude, really,
You should not use Viagra as a dietary supplement,
and never mix it with what ever drugs you are doing,,
Jeff

 

[no tree to big]

I have no idea what just happened but all this talk about ******* and no pics, very disappointed!

Sent from my SM-G900T using Tapatalk

 

[treebilly]

And holy **** the Dan brings new life

 

[DR. P. Proteus]

Dude, really,
You should not use Viagra as a dietary supplement,
and never mix it with what ever drugs you are doing,,
Jeff

Its all true, ceptin the Viagra part and since its all true I think The Dan just might be in little bit of a spot. Riverside you say? By the beach?

 

[DR. P. Proteus]

And really Jeff: I'm driving around on a big ass tractor with a big ass mower popping hogs at 80 yards from the seat without even hitting any of the people or horses. I can't be THAT stoned and still be able to do that so give me a little credit.

Ahh... Poppin hogs, fightin dogs, ****** wit da *******.
If I keep it up I'll soon need stitches.

Gone but not forgotten.

Gone being the key word because that is where I need to be about now and you do make Riverside sound nice!

 

[jefflovstrom]

oh my god,,,,
lot of work in paradise,
Jeff,, plan ahead,,

 

[beastmaster]

Im working in Santa Barbara on a 500,000.00 dollar ranch over looking the Ocean. They don't do no real ranching. Its some bodys weekend retreat. Were removing all the dead and hazerdous oaks so when the owners come they'll be safe.
They had a army of people in full containment suits weed eatting all the poison oak. They've placed fire extinguisher every 50 ft. On the whole property. The whole thing is like overkill.
They have security people in blacked out suv's patrolling the property.
This place is like 1000 acres and were making it like a park. Brad pitt has his ranch a few miles away.

 

[DR. P. Proteus]

oh my god,,,,
lot of work in paradise,
Jeff,, plan ahead,,

I am planning ahead! See you next week!

Hell, I 'll be pruning trees on the Brad Pitt Estate in no time!

Truthfuly though, from what Beasty just said maybe I should go back to hiding out from reality on that ******* horse farm chock full O vulnerable, insecure, stubborn, ig-nant and dangerous women. Go back to reading them Vonnegut and playing my guitar to silly songs I wrote for each one.

You ought to see the EXPRESSIONS I get. Yes, many forms of expression. Oooof!

Maybe I am just a little sore and scraped up and tired and need a rest is all I guess. Some of them bite, but, so do I.

Maybe I just tellin where I have been the last 3 months, maybe it was 4. What month is it now?

Anyway, thanks fer talkin, I always feel better when we do. For now, laying low and quiet seems best but I know the California drought was made for me so long ago in case I need an escape plan right now. At least the cops aren't looking for me.

 

[beastmaster]

Hell I'll trade you. Sounds like your having a good time at the horse ranch. Most beautiful women in the world here, but if your not driving a lambo your not going to get a 2ed glance.
My eyes are almost swelled shut from poison oak, that doesn't help much either. But Oh, the weather is perfect.

 

[beastmaster]

Brad pitts an a_ _ hole from what i hear.

 

[DR. P. Proteus]

Hell I'll trade you. Sounds like your having a good time at the horse ranch. Most beautiful women in the world here, but if your not driving a lambo your not going to get a 2ed glance.
My eyes are almost swelled shut from poison oak, that doesn't help much either. But Oh, the weather is perfect.

Now hold on there Pahdner! The Dan lives in SE PA, we got what you got pretty much but more money.

And they don't want me for a Lambo, they got some hard working Philly lawyer for that, that want me for something else which means I don't even have to buy a Lambo.

I guess I got a face only a vagina would love. Its not so bad... well, I guess it could be but I got limits.

Had one down by the creek, legs spread, wants me to go down, I took one looked and almost puked just a fly got stuck in the thick yellow ooze.

So its not like I haven't been working.

 

[bikemike]

Don't generalize all the younger generation. The ambitious hard working ones usually aren't applying at a tree service, more like law school, med school, engineering school, service academies, trade schools.

True and the guys with common sense are starting their own business or staying where they are. I know I'd hate to work in a office every day