Yup. Double up on the whiskey instead.
Ack, A Summer Cold
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Yup. Double up on the whiskey instead.
OK it is not the flu. Now I seem to have something stuck in my colon. I was a dehydrated when this mess started, not used to warm sunny weather I guess. Then when I had no work I sat around the house too long and my plumbing clogged up. I got two hours of sleep last night with all the tossing and turning. My dog got down off the bed and lated in the hallway. Basically I think I have a case of constipation now. The next two days should tell. When I'm sick I don't feel like drinking anything and that just makes it worse. I lost out on working today again.
Prunes. High-pulp orange juice. Fresh melon. Keep eating and drinking good healthy stuff...you'll either #hit or explode.
If all else fails try a big spoon full of diesel...that stuff is guaranteed to clean you out. Don't light any cigarettes on the toilet, though.
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Sport Faller
Gate Pimp
also fresh, non concentrate, apple or cherry juice will have you ####tin through a screen door without hittin the wire. Chugged a bunch of cherry juice to help get rid of a bad bout of gout yesterday..... bad call
Diesel? I'm putting you on my ignore list
Yeah, but if you do who's going to stick up for you around here? :biggrin:
Seriously, if nothing else works try the diesel. If you can keep from puking it back up it's one of the best laxatives there is. Doesn't take much, either.
Can one put a whole thread on IGNORE? 
Eat a bunch of alfalfa sprouts. They are supposed to be chock full of e-coli and salmonella, and all that good stuff. I quit buying them years ago and have been much healthier.
Then you can not quite cook your hamburger all the way through.
Go drink directly from a creek that runs through a Rainbow Gathering.
Well, I've just grossed myself out. Bye.
Eat a bunch of alfalfa sprouts. They are supposed to be chock full of e-coli and salmonella, and all that good stuff. I quit buying them years ago and have been much healthier.
Then you can not quite cook your hamburger all the way through.
Go drink directly from a creek that runs through a Rainbow Gathering.
Well, I've just grossed myself out. Bye.
Can one put a whole thread on IGNORE?
Eat a bunch of alfalfa sprouts. They are supposed to be chock full of e-coli and salmonella, and all that good stuff. I quit buying them years ago and have been much healthier.
Then you can not quite cook your hamburger all the way through.
Go drink directly from a creek that runs through a Rainbow Gathering.
Well, I've just grossed myself out. Bye.
Diesel, I tell you. Diesel!!! And a lot of free time and reading material kept handy. Notice we haven't heard from 2dogs today? He probably tried my remedy and, unless he's using a laptop, can't stay at the computer long enough to respond.
Sport Faller
Gate Pimp
he's probably crawling around dehydrated like a mummy trying to find a jug of powerade
RandyMac
Stiff Member
Poor Bill, probably tried them all and is now, drunk, on the pot surrounded by explosive gases.
Dear Doctor Diesel,
In spite of your persistent recommendation that I drink poison to cure myself I have just made an appointment with a real doctor. Thank you for the kind words and friendly advice and I'll be and keep you in mind if I need any brain surgery. Please say hello to Dr Kevorkian the next time you two are making your rounds.
Sincerely, 2dogs
nw axe man
ArboristSite Operative
I'm not too sure what this has to do with logging/forestry, but it sure is entertaining. You guys seem to have the cure for everything. Even being in a bad mood. Haven't laughed like this for days.
Joe46
ArboristSite Guru
:agree2:
nw axe man
ArboristSite Operative
Apparently you haven't heard. Dr. Kevorkian died a bit back. They say his diesel filter went bad.
Sport Faller
Gate Pimp
yup, gelled up bad too :msp_tongue:
So you believe the lie too, eh? It's true he is dead during the winter but when you bring him to California, in particular the Central Valley, he warms up and lives again! Why do you think the price of diesel goes up in the summer?
By all means see a doctor. Just remember...somebody in every medical school finished last in their class. Finishing last in your class at Harvard or Yale probably isn't too bad. But if he finished last at the Ace Medical School and Center for the Vaguely Defined Healing Arts, located in scenic central Botswana...you just might have a problem.
And diesel is not a poison. It's a petroleum based emetic that doubles as an excellent laxative. Try it. What do you have to lose? Other than everything you've eaten lately?
Better watch out...Slowp will read this and give you the the Ultimate Death Dealing Double Dog Dare..which, given the results of ingesting diesel, along with your AS handle, seems appropriate.
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GRTimberCO
ArboristSite Operative
Y'all do know what they call a doctor that had to cheat to just barely pass medical school don't you?
Doctor
Doctor
Update for all you voodoo practioners. Because there are ladies present I'll go easy. ( I hope Dr Diesel pukes his guts out while he is laughing.) So I'm on heavy antibiotics because I have diverticulosis. For the second time. I was really hoping I was wrong but the doc confirmed it. The infection is near the end of the uhm...exhaust pipe so I can pass a little material but I have to work that evolution standing up. I can't sit down or bend over. So I tell myself I'm a B-17 (or a Stearman) on a bombing run over Europe. The Norden bomb sight has not been invented yet so this is a dead reckoning run. Let's just say Dresden is ablaze and the Allies have suffered no casulties.
The next few days are going to be spent standing or lying down.
The next few days are going to be spent standing or lying down.
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