Typical 'Harry Homeowner' post:

[victorytea]

In the manual it says to turn the saw off before sharpening the chain, isn't this hard on the spark plug? Is Stihl the best saw?

 

[Jacob J.]

"Now this uses the same gas as my lawnmower, right?"

 

[caryr]

 

[Dennis]

Cary, I learned from the best there is....thanks for bringing that back up....

 

[Orange Wedge]

From the guy next door...who is a cop...good thing he has a gun.
"oh, really...I did'nt know the chain had to go on a certain way"
He had borrowed his buddies saw for the weekend. I walked over after listening to the saw scream and saw smoke/mist coming from the saw while cutting.

 

[SilverBlue]

LOL you guys kill me
That was a recent wallymart ad, I particularly like the pull handle on it and could see a homeowner asking for the electric chainsaw with the starter handle.

 

[TheTreeSpyder]

"i never need a chain brake"




The label on your bar is upside down.

Only one side of my bar is worn.....

Couldn't you cut bigger logs with those spikes out of the way?

Safety chain is just as fast.

Safety chain won't cut ya as bad.

When i replace the pull string i tighten the spring all the way.....

i always take the spring all the way out of the recoil, that is what takes so long....

i use outboard 2cycle cuz it's cheaper.

i left my gas filter off after it clogged.

i like pumping oil all the time, not auto

Did you know that muffler can burn ya?

i always start a saw with the choke

Yeah, well it cuts better with a longer bar

a chainsaw is a chainsaw

it's ok i din't hit the dirt much

All i hit was glass bottles, it can't be dull

You don't have to adjust gauges

My new $150 saw will cut just as well with a 30" chain as your 044.....

Sprocket noses are junk my daddy said

This gas is dark green

You can't get hurt after the tree is already down......

 

[Dolmar_Tech_Mgr]

My all time favorite and the most simple one of all -
"It just broke"

 

[WRW]

Hey y'all, I've got a powerful 311Y Stihl I'll sell ya'. $500 down & monthly payments of...

 

[user 2993]

I got this model cause it has a separate tank for oil. I hate mixing it with the gas, it always makes a mess.

 

[NeTree]

Originally posted by woodbeard
I got this model cause it has a separate tank for oil. I hate mixing it with the gas, it always makes a mess.

What makes this so funny is that you know SOME idiot is thinking exactly that...

And he likes the blade too...

 

[geofore]

yeah

"Hey, I'm not some kind of idiot, you know, my dirt bike has a seperate tank for oil too". The new guy just made chain lube out of the last of your two cycle oil, that little bottle in case you run out of mix on this job.

"Can you help me out here, my saw is stuck in a tree. Can I borrow one of your's to get it out?" He cut strait in till the tree sat down on the saw. It took 9 1/2 minutets to explain to him you make the face cut first then it was $125 and a 1/2 minute to drop the tree the other way to free up his saw and miss the house. Homeowners, you got to love em.

"Can you cut that big branch off so the tree will quit leaning over? You know, make it stand up strait." That tree was leaning over before he was born.

"Would it be cheaper if you didn't have to bring in the crane, you know, knock off $1,000 if you don't have to use it?"

 

[Tony Snyder]

Probably the best one I have encountered is: The guy comes in with a P5000 Partner (1981) I sold him, his son had put the 2 cycle oil in the tank marked oil, and raw gas in the tank marked petrol. This was just as he had always done on his oil injected 2 stroke Yahama dirt bike. And, " after all, the saw did have automatic oiling".

He got thru two tanks of fuel beyond the 32 to 1 mix I had sent it out with. Partner was first going to supply free parts parts for good will, but they ended up exchanging saws, they wanted the old one back.

 

[Crofter]

If you run out of fuel you have to be sure to turn the switch to OFF before you put it away or the magneto will go dead. It happened to my uncle and now his saw wont start.

Frank

 

[Ryan Willock]

"you mean you can sharpen the chains??"

 

[MasterBlaster]

"I bet you sleep good at night!"



(IF they only knew!)

 

[MasterBlaster]

"Have you ever fell before?"



Yea, RIGHT!

 

[Wade Huggins]

A couple times over the years I have had landowners say...........aren't you going to take the stumps to??

 

[user 2993]

Had to toss this one in, actually found on another forum, but I won't say which one. If the original poster of this is reading here, keep in mind, we're just having a little fun, not trying to kick anyone around.

I recently purchased a Husky 3120XP. I have a 48in. double ended
guide bar. I see the manual for the chainsaw covers parts, functions
and tons of safety information. However, it doesn't tell me how to
put the bar on the saw. I am a new born to the game. Can someone
assist me with the instructions on how to put the chainsaw, bar and
chain together? Thanks in advance.

 

[chainsawworld]

yea i put gas and oil in it. the gas here and the oil here.
i have to got to go to sears and get a new saw, this one is dull.
how dull could it be, it's only dirt?
i'm pretty strong, i don't need de-compression.
can i use 10-30 wt in stead of mix?
will 10-30 hurt the blade?
i don't use the brake, i cut that handle right off.
the motor seems to be stuck.
aren't all chains the same?
this antique homelite will out cut that new 044.
i don't understand?????????
is the bar supposed to turn black like that?
my dealer said it will turn it.
need my help?
i never ran a saw before. how dangerous could it be?
i just bought two saws and a truck. how do i get some wood?
can you help me?
i thought it would miss.
i thought it would go the other way.
i don't understand. isn't it supposed to go were you put the knotch?
back lean????????
here is 20 chains, pick them up in about 20 minutes?
does that sound right to you?
is that sharp?
backwards?
i just want a new blade, i'll put it on myself.(this is when i like to turn the chain inside out).
how long does a chain last?
did i pay to much?
i've been doing it like this for years and only been cut twice.
will full chisel cut metal?
i want a saw that won't get me to dirty when i use it.
can i make payments?
can i pay you later?
$30.00 an hour? i'll try it my self.
if i can't get $500.00 for it i'll keep it. (4 weeks later) do you still want that homelite?
i never knew that.
i think i did something wrong here.
i hope you have good insurance. i was in here last night stealing wood and i cut myself.