the DAN obviously knows the crucial factor in proper pain management with prescription narcotics.....
crush and snort....:hmm3grin2orange:
hopefully he's getting Dilaudid......
The reason I hate the word " manage" is the same I hate the name Economy Tree Service.
The word manage means to control or cope with. Its used in the context of " pain management" " anger management"
My shrink gives me tons of ways to manage my anger. The thing is I don't want to manage it, I want it gone. I don't want to manage my pain, I want it gone. Hell, if i did what my shrink said I would be walking around all day counting to ten and breathing deeply. People would ask what I was doing, I'd say, " managing my anger". They would ask me why I was angry, I would say " cause this management bull#### is to much work for to little results"
Go to the root. The more management you heap on a problem the more problems you have managing the management.To me management is a form of ellusive , and often unauthentic, manipulation... especially when it comes to managing people.
And everybody gets all up in arms when they see someone who is angery, distraught, having a breakdown. They defy another person's anger, they tell themselves a story about how to be angry is wrong and they shouldn't have to be a part of it. The truth is everybody gets pissed and the easiest, fastest, most productive way to soothe an angry person is to acknowledge thier anger and be a part of it. You say " Oh, I see you are getting pissed, I get pissed too, its OK, I get it. Is there something I can do to help, is there a reason you would be mad at me?"
Try that on. It would open up a door to a intimate conversation most people are afraid of, never thought possible and it would go right to the root.
When my wife was pregnant I was working on a crew. We had switched trucks and I left my phone in another truck that wasn't with us anymore.
We were eating lunch when I realized I didn't have my phone so I told the bawss. He didn't seem to be very present to my urgency when I told him I needed my phone and I needed it now so I layed into him but he made no moves to go get my phone.
We got into it pretty well, I said some things, he said some things and we both got pissed. Sure, I expected him to drop everything and go get my dam phone, its what I would have done. He tried to manage the situation instead of just going to the root. Yes, I wanted my phone, I had a dam good reason to want it and without it I couldn't be present to the jobsite.
Sure I could have made up a story about how everything would be allright, that since the guy was paying me I should do what he tells me, that I was being a baby about the situation. I am sure those are the stories he told himself about me.
He ended up going to get my phone but only after he fed me his stories about how I was being which only fueled the fire. I gave him my stories which only fueled the fire. None of it helped, the only real things that were going on was that I was scared my wife was going into labor and we had a job to get done.
Go to the root, get the phone. The phone was the root of the situation, I was using it to manage my fear of my wife's needs.
Do you want to manage pain or do you want to manage to get rid of the pain? Context is very powerful and often misconstrued.
People think I am ####head when I am working because I don't say " could you please tie on that saw, thank you", I say ( in an aggressive tone condusive to the work I am performing) " Tie on that saw and get out of the way!" Now people's feelings are hurt because the stories they have made up and try to live by tell them that anyone who talks to them like that is a ####head. So more stories have to be made up to continue living when the fact is I am not a ####head because before I climbed up there I said " just because it appears that I am yelling at you it doesn't mean I am yelling at you".
I usually elaborate on that, I tell them what is going on for me to be yelling. I have to be heard clearly from 80 feet and a lot of noise, sometimes when I am trying to communicate with the people down there I get jabbed in the eye and that may make me put some emphasis on my words. And yes, sometimes I get pissed when I have to keep repeating myself.
When I realize that a person is being guided by his pre-concieved stories and notions about how things are supposed to be and not being authentically present to the situation and there is nothing I can do about because i got a face full of tree that I am supposed to be " managing" I get pissed and let it show.
Its does little good . Some people you just can't reach. You would have to take away all their stories, tell them what is happening is just happening and to either be present to what is happening and deal with it with integrity and authenticity or get the #### out. I used to think by me telling the bawss his guys were jokers, so was he and quitting was how I was being authentic and having integrity. I still kind of feel that way because those guys were not present to the situation. The situation is tree work, lets not kid ourselves with stories. Be present to that or #### off.
Thanks agian for thinking of me Smallwood...now THATS networking!!
