Hang in there friend. You honor your parents by helping them. Care givers need all the support that can be mustered. Please don't let it get you down. Those of us that have been in your place understand. Many of us here are too far away to help, but we are always here to listen. Sending prayers your way.
Rough couple weeks here too - 94 yr old father went to hospital Fri.June 7th,bleeding internally,lost quite a bit,2 transfusions given late Fri while he was in the CCU (possibly 3 I dont remember) They cauterized a vein near the colon,got it pretty much stopped.Wanted to do colonoscopy but that was put on hold cause his existing heart issues (possible heart attack while in the ER,where he went to bathroom UNATTENDED) I was pissed! Recovering Saturday,in good spirits,talking normally with rest of family between sleeping a lot.
Sunday was the same,no further improvement,all of immediate family was present in late afternoon (except oldest grandson),even oldest niece's ex-husband showed up (Dad & rest of us always liked him,we kept in touch,he is a great guy,provider & father to the 2 teenagers,just him & my niece grew apart,couldnt stay together.They get along better now for some reason lol
Dad was his usual self - talking,telling stories (still very coherent later that day) but decided since nothing else could be done decided on Comfort Care - kinda like Hospice in a way - All his regular meds via IV would be stopped,the blood pressure machine & others would be turned off,only pain meds would be administered to him as needed.He explained all of this in his decision to proceed with Comfort Care,us 5 kids & Mom all agreed with it,told the nurse we would go along with his wishes. He passed away roughly 245AM Mon. June 10 - He basically went to sleep,wasnt in any pain & didnf suffer.
Which you cant really ask of a better way to go,IMO he went out the way he wanted - didnt suffer for weeks & months.The funeral was Tuesday June 18, with graveside service afterwards with playing of taps & a 21 gun salute (Dad was Korean War era Air Force veteran) by local veteran's group plus presentation of the folded American flag to Mom when they were done.
Being the youngest of the 5 children & living the closest to Mom & Dad,planning all the funeral arrangements,getting the financial stuff in order,plus all the phone calls to the VA & other companies was tasked to me,everything went OK without any problems,there was family meeting at funeral home before the service that went into great detail regarding all the procedures.Plus the choices regarding casket,vault,flowers,any additional items that are added to the final bill.
Mom said there's no hurry to sell the cabin & 10 acres of timber,the yearly taxes are cheap (something like $450/yr) and are wont be due again until Oct 2025 and the REC electric bill is like $35-40/month tops.Propane tank just filled in March 2024,that will last a couple years unless someone lives out there full time during the Fall/Winter months.Older siblings last week were pushing to sell the property already (they only visited it a few times in 43 yrs) but 3 of the oldest nieces/nephews were hesitant & especially me,I just about blew up,they hit a nerve with me) spent LOTS of time with Grandma & Grandpa there growing up,so lots of fond memories there - besides at the time the oldest niece & her older brother only lived 7-8 miles from the cabin until their late teen years back in early 90's,when their Dad (oldest brother) and his wife split up.
I was dreading this event,but its normal & something that all of us go through.I dont know that its any easier losing a parent when you are ''middle years'' or even retirement age,compared to it happening when you are younger.It still sucks.I miss him every day and Mom & my siblings,other family members do also.But I also know he did a good job raising his family & is looking down at all of us with pride,knowing we are doing what's needed to help Mom & each other.
OT
